Chapter 4
YOU LOOK PERFECT
DEREK
Fuck. Did I have to ruin things so soon?
I moved too damn fast.
Paige blinked at me. Once. Twice. Her mouth opened, then closed. Lily chose that moment to grab a fistful of her hair, but Paige didn’t seem to notice.
“What?”
“Engaged,” I repeated the word, my heart hammering against my ribs. This isn’t how I had planned to say it. I hadn’t really planned it at all, but watching Jack’s name appear on my screen, seeing the way it hurt her, made me realize I was done waiting.
Done watching and done pretending I didn’t want this.
Her.
“You and me. Us. We should get engaged.”
She stared at me as if I had lost my mind. Which, to be fair, I probably had. But I’d also never been more certain of anything in my life.
“Derek, you can’t just—I mean, we’re not…” she trailed off, struggling for words as her face cycled through confusion and disbelief. “Why did you even suggest that?”
I turned off the stove and moved closer. Close enough that I could see the gold flecks in her hazel eyes, the way her pulse jumped at her throat.
“Because I’m not letting you go back to him,” I said, my voice firm. “Because you and Lily deserve better than what he has given you. And because…” I paused and took a deep breath. “Because he’d never think you’d get engaged to me, his friend, his best-man. Plus, it’d be the perfect revenge.”
The silence that followed was deafening. The oven timer beeped, and Lily made a soft cooing sound. Paige just stood there, staring at me with those wide hazel eyes.
“You…” she whispered. “What?”
I reached out slowly, giving her time to pull away, and tucked a damp strand of hair behind her ear. My hand lingered against her cheek, and she didn’t move. She didn’t even breathe.
“Be my fiancée, Paige,” I said softly. “Not for real. Just... let me help you. Let me give you a reason to divorce him. We’ll fake the engagement until… whatever happens next. I need to get my mom off my back anyway, so it’d be perfect.”
I held my breath waiting for her answer. Waiting to find out if I had just ruined everything between us.
“Derek,” she breathed, and the way she said my name made my heart stutter. “I don’t… I can’t think right now. Everything’s such a mess, and I—”
“Then don’t think,” I said, my thumb brushing across her cheekbone. “Just say yes. Let me take care of you both. Please.”
Lily chose that moment to let out an impatient wail. Paige smiled and went to soothe her daughter.
“She’s hungry,” Paige said, even though we both knew that wasn’t really an answer.
But she didn’t say no.
Not yet.
So I could still make her agree to my stupid but effective plan.
Twenty minutes later, I served two plates while Lily settled contentedly in her carrier, freshly fed and drowsy. Paige had disappeared upstairs to nurse her in private, and when she had returned, her expression was softer.
The way Paige’s entire face had transformed when Lily grabbed her finger, the pure love in her eyes made my chest warm.
We ate in silence for a few minutes, the comfortable kind that came from years of knowing someone. When Paige took a bite of the grilled cheese and her eyes widened, I couldn’t help the grin that spread across my face.
“Oh my God,” she mumbled around the mouthful. “This is perfect. Just the right amount of cheese.”
“I’ll make you ten more if you want.” I said, ready to jump to my feet and make her another one.
“No, no,” she said, waving me off. “I’ll get even chubbier than I already am.”
The words hit me like a slap. “What?” I froze, fork halfway to my mouth. “Paige, you look perfect. Better than perfect.”
She paused, glancing up at me. “I… thanks, but I’m just trying to get back to my normal weight because Jac—”
She stopped and her whole body went rigid. I watched the color drain from her face as she realized what she was about to say.
My grip on the fork tightened until my knuckles went white. Jack. That piece of shit. I’m going to fucking kill him.
He had the most desirable and beautiful woman at his side—the woman I had been in love with for half my life—and he had somehow made her feel less than.
“Because he didn’t like it?” I asked slowly, my voice devoid of any emotion.
Paige swallowed hard and looked down at her plate. “He didn’t say it outright, but…” she blinked, before continuing. “I should have known. He was distant the entire pregnancy. He missed the birth because of work, and… the woman in our bed… she was skinny.”
Shit. I should’ve noticed it. It was my fault.
I reached across the table and covered her hand with mine. Her skin was cold, and when she looked up at me, I squeezed her palm gently.
“Listen to me,” I said, making sure she held my gaze.
“Jack cheated on you because he wanted to, Paige. He made the choice to invite that woman into your home while your daughter was sleeping twenty feet away. That had nothing to do with you or your body or anything you did or didn’t do.
He did it because he’s a selfish bastard who doesn’t deserve you. ”
I was being harsh. I knew that. But she needed to hear it and needed to understand that none of this was her fault.
The Paige I had grown up with would have kicked someone in the balls for even suggesting she wasn’t perfect exactly as she was.
That fierce girl, who defended me from bullies and climbed trees in dresses and laughed so hard she would snort.
But along the way, Jack had dulled that fire, and I hated him for it.
I hated myself for it too. For standing by and watching it happen. For not fighting for her when I had the chance.
After a moment, she took a shaky breath and seemed to pull herself together. She seemed more like the old Paige.
“Why did you really ask me to be your fiancée?” She asked, wrapping both arms around herself. “You’re a player, Derek. No offense, but it’s true. The last time you genuinely dated someone was Kelly, and you broke off that engagement after barely a month.”
Her words stung because she was right. I leaned back in my chair, running a hand through my hair as I tried to figure out how much truth I was ready to give her.
I didn’t date seriously. How could I, when the woman I wanted to marry had been swept away by a guy I introduced her to?
A guy who I thought was just a friend, until I watched him propose to her on her college graduation, turning her celebration into his spotlight moment while I stood there with a camera and a forced smile.
I started dating Kelly and proposed to her when Paige announced she was pregnant. I was stupid because I saw the hurt in Kelly’s eyes and she knew that she was a replacement for someone I couldn’t have.
“Because Jack is jealous of me,” I said finally, meeting her hazel eyes. “He always has been.”