Chapter 5
Chapter
Five
GORAN
The Mikhailov dining hall was built to intimidate.
Long table. Heavy chairs, and too much space between people. Tonight, it was full of those who didn’t trust one another. Generations of blood and power hung on the walls. They watched silently from their portraits as Dimitri spoke like his word was law and everyone else existed only to orbit him.
I stood with the other guards, hands clasped, posture perfect. Invisible. Barely breathing.
Kaylani sat three seats down from her father, laughing at something Ren had said. Her smile was easy, open, and full of true joy. Anyone watching would think she belonged exactly where she was.
But that was because they didn’t know the real her. Yes, she loved to have fun and party. She certainly knew how to blow through her family’s money, but there was so much more to Kaylani than the stereotype.
They also had no idea what she meant to me. That she was my wife. That thought made something feral twist in my chest.
Dimitri had mentioned a dinner this Saturday, which meant only one thing.
He’d found suitors. My lip twitched, the anger flowing freely through me.
Kaylani was a free spirit, a woman who knew what she wanted and craved the world.
She had zero interest in being tied down and forced into the role of submissive trophy.
Hell, she married me out of desperation but given the choice between me and complete freedom, I knew which she would choose, and it wasn’t being tied to a soldier for the rest of her life.
Dimitri droned on about business, loyalty, and the importance of family unity, as if he hadn’t spent decades pitting his children against one another like chess pieces. I heard none of it. My attention kept drifting back to Kaylani’s hands, bare of rings, fingers curled around her wineglass.
It had been a week.
Seven days of nothing more than late-night texts and pretending that I was completely fine with things going back to normal. I wasn’t. I was losing my mind, and that worried me.
I shifted my weight, jaw tight, pulse loud in my ears. The urge to walk across the room, take her by the hand, and announce to the world who she belonged to was almost unbearable. Instead, I did the only thing I could.
I excused myself.
“Perimeter check,” I murmured to the guard nearest me.
He nodded without question.
As soon as I was free of the dining room, my neutral mask fell, and I let myself feel the rage. I had never been ashamed of my status, but now I hated it. My father had been a good man and a loyal soldier to Dimitri for his entire life until he got sick.
He had prostate cancer and had worked right up until the treatments made it impossible.
Every dime he had saved went toward medical bills.
Now, he lived in a one-bedroom apartment that constantly needed to be sprayed for cockroaches and had a faulty air-conditioner.
All he did was sit in front of the window and stare out at the ocean, like he wished it would end his suffering.
That was the thanks Dimitri gave him for his loyalty. I tried to help, but my father was a proud man and refused it. I hated seeing my once indestructible father reduced to frailty, and other than Nathaniel and me, no one visited.
If Dimitri could so casually cast away that kind of loyalty, then he would have no issue making sure I died for daring to love his daughter.
Needing a moment, I walked to the back door. Once outside, the night air hit my face like a blessing. It was cool, clean, and quiet. The yard stretched out under soft lights, and the pool reflected the house like an ugly lie magically made beautiful.
I walked the path slowly, letting my shoulders drop for the first time all night and allowing myself to breathe. That’s when I heard her.
“Psst,” Kaylani whispered from the shadows. I stopped, looking around before focusing on her. “Running already, soldier?”
I walked toward her. Kaylani leaned against the side of the pool house, out of the cameras’ view. Her arms were crossed loosely, eyes bright and full of longing. The sight of her hit me harder than it should have. My chest ached from it.
“You shouldn’t be out here alone,” I said automatically.
She smiled. “Good thing I’m not.”
Before I could argue, she stepped out of the shadows, grabbed my hand, and tugged me behind the pool shed.
“Lani—”
“Shh.”
The world narrowed to shadows, moonlight, and the sound of our breathing. The small building kept us out of view of the house. While the tall hedge on the other side hid us from the path the soldiers walked.
The moment we were hidden, she was on me.
Her hands slid into my jacket, grasping at me like she was afraid I would disappear. I cupped her face without thinking, my thumb brushing her cheek as my mouth found hers.
The kiss was desperate. Not rushed. Just…hungry.
A week of restraint poured into it. I kissed her like I needed to remind myself she was real. Her lips parted with a soft sound that went straight to my spine, and I groaned quietly against her mouth.
Turning us, I pushed her back against the wall, trapping her body with mine. Everything hardened with a need that ached deeper than my soul.
Kaylani’s nails pressed into my ass as she pulled me closer.
Fuck I wanted her. I needed her.
“God,” I murmured. “I don’t know which will happen first, but it feels inevitable.”
“Oh, yeah? What’s that?” Kaylani whispered against my lips as she pressed herself to me.
My body responded, and I growled, frantic to be inside of her.
“If craving you like you’re my last breath will kill me, or if being married to you will get me killed,” I said.
She smiled, then kissed me again. “I need you. Right now.”
I rested my forehead against hers, forcing myself to slow down. My hands moved to her waist, holding her there like an anchor, but keeping her from tempting me to push our luck.
“I’ve been losing my mind,” I admitted. “I keep thinking about sneaking in your window like some idiot teenager, but we can’t do this right now.”
She laughed softly. “I can picture that. Would you like me to get you a Spiderman outfit?”
I smiled. “I prefer Venom.”
“So much more appropriate,” she teased, nipping at my lip. “Please, we can be quick.”
“We can’t, I just…I have a bad feeling if we do,” I said, smoothing down her beautiful blonde hair as I stared into her blue eyes, the same color as the pool. “But it’s not because I don’t want to. Trust me.”
“I miss you,” she murmured, softly.
The words hit like a fist to the chest.
“I know…me too,” I said. “But I’m right here.”
“This is not the same.”
No. It wasn’t.
I leaned in, pressing my lips to her jaw and neck, breathing her in as if she really was oxygen. She tilted her head just enough to give me access, her fingers digging into my shoulders.
“I don’t know how long we can keep the marriage a secret. You know what that dinner your father mentioned means,” I said, voicing what we both already knew.
“I know,” she whispered.
I kissed her again, slower this time, savoring these few stolen moments. When I finally pulled back, my hands stayed on her hips.
“I’m going shopping tomorrow,” she announced suddenly.
I blinked at the sudden change in conversation. “What?”
“With Ren and Fiona,” she added. “And I want you with us. You can be the head of security, bring only the guys you trust.”
“Be your security,” I repeated.
She nodded. “In charge.”
My first instinct was to refuse. Too risky. Too visible. Then she looked at me like this meant everything to her, and I couldn’t. She was worth the risk.
“I need you…desperately,” she said, pleading with me. “Please.”
I exhaled. “You’re not playing fair.”
“Nope.” She smiled with a hint of mischief.
She ran her hand up the front of my pants, giving my already hard cock a squeeze. I groaned and shuddered.
“And I don’t plan to.”
“Jesus…” My heart hammered out of control. I nodded once. “I’ll clear it with Nathaniel. He’ll be fine with it.”
Kaylani smiled widely, the happiness blinding but filling me with the same feeling. God, I fucking loved her. I was obsessed with her. Craved everything about her. She kissed me one last time, quick and sweet, then stepped back.
“I should go,” she said. “Before someone notices that I’m no longer in the powder room.” She held my hand a moment longer, touching my ring. “I love you.”
“I love you,” I said, watching her slip away, posture perfect, smile in place, the princess returning to her throne.
I stayed where I was, breathing through the ache in my chest, trying to get myself under control before I set foot in the house.
This was what loving her looked like. Hidden moments.
Stolen breaths. Promises whispered in the dark.
I had crossed the line three months ago, and now I never wanted to go back, even if this was all we could ever have.
I knew with a clarity that terrified me that no matter how dangerous this became, I would never stop choosing her.