Chapter 17
Chapter
Seventeen
KAYLANI
When I woke up, Goran was already gone. That weighed heavily on my chest, and even though I knew he was just doing his job, it felt different.
After getting dressed, I texted my mom and asked her to meet me alone for brunch at the country club. She happily agreed. I wasn’t sure what I hoped to get out of the conversation, but it seemed necessary.
As I headed down the hall toward the kitchen, I heard Savannah talking to Cutter. The moment I rounded the corner, my nephew spotted me. His face lit up, and he ran at me like a forty-pound bowling ball.
“Aunt Kay,” he cheered as he wrapped himself around my legs, making me laugh.
Squatting, I hugged him back. “Hey, bud. What are you up to?”
“Mommy is taking us down to the beach for a walk, and then we’re going to have ice cream before we watch a movie. Do you want to join us?”
“I’d love to, bud, but I’m meeting Nana Mikhailov for brunch. Next time.” I smiled at him, then at Savannah, who looked as radiant as ever. I couldn’t believe she was pregnant again. Nathaniel as a father of three…I never thought I’d see the day.
“Cutter, go tell Sergey what we’re doing so he can get the guards ready,” Savannah said.
“Okay.” He took off like a bullet through the sliding door into the backyard.
“I wish I still had half that energy,” Savannah said with a wistful sigh.
“Thanks for letting me stay. My father is…”
Savannah snorted. “A dick?”
I smiled. “Yeah. Exactly.”
“Anytime. You’re always welcome. It’s nice having another woman in the house. The testosterone is suffocating.
I stepped up to the island, scanning the kitchen for Goran as if he might be hiding in a corner.
“Have you seen Goran?”
“I think he drove Nathan to the airfield. I’m not sure what his plans are for the rest of the day. Do you want me to call him?”
I shook my head. “No, it’s fine. I was just curious. Hopefully, I don’t need a guard while having lunch with my mother.”
“Alright. Have a wonderful lunch. Tell Helena I say hi, and she can drop by anytime. The kids miss her. I’d better get going before Cutter tells me I’m putting him behind schedule. That boy is way too much like his father,” Savannah said, laughing as she picked up Chloe from the playpen.
“I will.”
I watched them head out the door, then did the same a few minutes later. This was what I wanted. A home I chose. A family and a marriage I chose. Not a life handed to me, not one where I was expected to shut up and be grateful.
I had no sooner stepped outside when Charles pulled up in the limo. The car came to a stop, and for an older man, he sure moved fast. He jumped out and opened the back door.
“Good morning, Charles.”
“Good morning, Ms. Mikhailov.”
I smiled when I saw my mother sitting all prim and proper inside, a bright smile spreading across her face.
“Kaylani. I’ve been so worried.” She pulled me into a hug as I settled beside her.
“Hi, Mom.”
She pulled back and stared at me.
“I’m so sorry your father hit you. I gave him an earful later. He is certainly doing his best to destroy what is left of this family.” Her eyes filled with tears as she cupped my cheeks. “You look so beautiful.
“So do you.” The pretty purple dress she wore made her eyes sparkle, and I decided not to ruin that loveliness with talk about Father. I wanted a few moments just for us. “I was thinking we could get our hair done soon. Like old times.”
“I’d love that. We can invite Fiona as well. She has been feeling cooped up lately,” she said, laying her hand on mine. “We have started a nightly game of cribbage. She taught me how to play, and I’m obsessed.”
The rest of the drive was happy and light, filled with warmth and laughter. It reminded me of how things used to be, before Father decided I was old enough to be used as a poker chip.
Once upon a time, I had run into his office with a book and sat on his lap to read it before he carried me to bed and tucked me in.
From hero to villain.
My heart ached from the loss, but there was no point in dwelling on it. Father was never going to change.
We pulled into the long, scenic driveway of the country club. It looked the same as it always had. White stone facade. Manicured hedges clipped to perfection. Grass so emerald and lush it looked artificial. Expensive vehicles lined the parking lot.
We rolled up to the valet stand. One of them opened our door and held out his hand to help me exit. They knew me on sight. Every employee was required to memorize the members.
This place was designed to make problems feel small, distant, and manageable. As if sitting beneath its chandeliers changed the world, and nothing truly bad could reach you.
I smoothed down the pale blue midi dress I had borrowed from Savannah. It had a high neckline, short sleeves, and looked fabulous paired with low heels. It was what I liked to call structured, tasteful, and expensive in a way that didn’t beg for attention.
Mom walked beside me as we were led to our favorite table outside, overlooking the gardens and part of the golf course.
Perfect, no one else was out here yet.
Once our mimosas arrived, Mom turned to me and studied my face as only a mother could. Searching, not for flaws, but for truths not offered freely.
“Not that I mind having brunch with my daughter, but I know something is bothering you. And not just the impromptu dating game your father thought was a brilliant idea.” She picked up her mimosa and took a sip. “I told him it was a terrible decision, but the man is as stubborn as an old ox.”
Taking a deep breath, I looked out over the green grass. The sun shone down on us as I decided how much I dared tell her. I hated keeping my relationship with Goran from my mother, but confiding in her came with huge risks.
I spotted the server approaching with our food. He placed everything on the table in a smooth, practiced motion. Fresh fruit arranged like art. Eggs poached perfectly. Bacon crisp. Coffee poured.
Mom stirred milk into her cup and waited for me to answer.
“You’re right. I want to talk to you,” I said finally.
Her eyes lifted to mine. The words felt thick today, as if saying them wrong would ruin everything.
“I feel like I’m…drifting.”
She nodded once and picked up her toast, spreading fresh strawberry jam across it.
“That happens. Especially when you are standing between who you were and who you are becoming. All women go through it,” she said before taking a bite.
I looked down at my plate and pushed my eggs around with my fork.
“I don’t feel like I’m being reckless, but I don’t feel centered either. It’s like I’m doing things just to prove I can. To announce that I can’t be controlled.”
“Prove to whom?”
The question landed hard.
“Father,” I admitted. “Maybe myself.”
“Kaylani,” she said, lowering her voice. “Attention is not the same thing as freedom.”
My fingers curled around my napkin. “I know.”
“Do you? Because sometimes when people feel watched their whole lives, they mistake being seen for being alive.”
I lifted my gaze to hers. “This is so hard to explain. I just thought you could help me sort through things. You always make it sound simple.”
Her smile was sad in a way I did not like. “Some things are not simple. Especially when men are involved.”
“Tell me about it.” The words hung between us, loaded with meaning.
“Mom…I don’t want to marry someone that I don’t love,” I blurted, peering around to make sure no one was in earshot. “The contracts, the money exchanging hands, the moving in a cage. I don’t want anything to do with it, but Dad seems determined to sell me to the highest bidder.”
Picking up my coffee, my hands shook as I leaned back.
Mom stared at me for a moment before speaking.
“I understand that more than you know. But you cannot outrun men like your father by pretending they don’t exist,” she said, her words measured. “And you cannot provoke him without cost.”
My chest tightened.
“I’m not provoking anyone, at least not intentionally. I just want him to leave me alone so I can live my life. How? How do I get him to do that?”
She reached across the table and grabbed my hand.
“Sweetie, I’m not going to try to convince you that marrying one of these men is for the best. But this is not an easy battle to win. Your father is stubborn when he sets his mind on something.”
“I don’t want to be locked away. I don’t want every choice to feel like a business negotiation. I don’t want to be someone’s arm candy for the public spotlight while they gallivant around the city sleeping with a million other girls. I don’t want to be second in my husband’s life.”
My mother’s face fell, and I hated myself immediately for saying it out loud. The last year had come with many revelations that had divided my father and me. His cheating on my mother and keeping mistresses in expensive condos had been one of them.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean you.”
She shook her head. “No. It’s fair. I wouldn’t wish that on you.”
My heart hurt for her as she looked away.
“This place makes it seem like life can be managed with rules.” I gestured vaguely around us. “But the world doesn’t work like that.”
“No, it doesn’t. Which is why you must decide what kind of woman you want to be when the rules stop protecting you.”
I sucked in a deep breath. “I’m not sure what you mean.”
“I’m going to be very blunt with you, my beautiful daughter, because I think it’s time you fully understood what is about to happen.
There are only three ways out of this. The first is to go along with what your father wants.
You meet everyone he approves of, pick one, and hope you’ll fall in love and have a great life. ”
I shook my head, and she smirked.
“I thought so. That leaves only two other options. One is to negotiate your way out of it. That means you need leverage, either financial or emotional. Financially, you need to prove to your father that you are as competent as his sons. I know that is unfair, but that is how he thinks. You will need allies for this.”
“Okay, and emotionally?”
“For that, use your uncle Vadin. Be careful with this. It will only work once, and must be used wisely.”
“I don’t understand.”
“Your father didn’t love me, and I didn’t love him. Duty trapped us, and in the end, none of us got what we wanted.”
I had never heard this before. I leaned closer, absently picking at the fruit on my plate.
“Your uncle Vadin was in love with Renata. But Renata and your father were in love. They had courted for over two years when Vadin stepped in, under the guise of obeying his father, and swooped Renata up.”
“What? But how?”
“Vadin is the eldest son. He was meant to rule and marry the strongest candidate to solidify his power. Renata came from a very influential family. But he could have chosen anyone. There were dozens of other prospects who had connections and vast amounts of money.”
“So, Vadin stole Renata from Father?”
Mom nodded. “That is what caused their rift. It started long before that, but his choice set off a chain of events. I am Renata’s cousin, and your grandfather gave me to Dimitri as a consolation prize. Alas, I was madly in love with your uncle Anatoly, whom you have never met.”
I stared at her, stunned, as if she were speaking in tongues.
How did I not know any of this?
“Did Father know that you loved someone else?”
Mom nodded again. “I pleaded with him not to accept the match. But here we are.” She reached across the table and took my hand.
“I want you to understand that despite everything, I do not regret my children. I love all of you fiercely, and I would not go back and change my life, because then I would not have all of you.”
“Mom…I don’t know what to say.”
She picked up her toast and nibbled on it before finishing off her mimosa.
“I’m telling you this so you understand that your father knows what you’re going through. It was his anger at your uncle that drove him to help Yuliana. She ran and hid. She hated her father for what he did to her.” She held my gaze. “Be very careful how you use this information. But now you know.”
I forced myself to eat as my mind spun. Not even the exquisite eggs Benedict could distract me from the truth. Vadin had upended all of their lives because he chose himself.
“Mom, you said there were three things I could do. What is the third?”
Mom leaned closer, her eyes deadly serious.
“The last way,” she said after a long pause, her voice barely above a whisper, “is that he doesn’t survive long enough to make the choice for you.”
It was a good thing I had nothing in my mouth, because I would have spit it across the table.
She stood smoothly. “I have some errands to run, so I’m going to get going. Can you get a ride home?”
I nodded, still in shock.
She touched my shoulder. When I looked up at her, I didn’t see my mother anymore. I saw a woman who had survived her own war and understood the costs. Worse, she knew there was no way to shield me. She could only arm me with the truth.
“I love you. Call me if you need me. No matter the hour, I’ll always be there.”
“I know.”
I watched her leave, then sat there with the weight of her words pushing down on me. Cave to his whims. Battle with strategy and violence. Remove him from the board. Those were my options.
“Would you like more coffee or anything else today,” the server asked, jerking me out of my thoughts.
“No, thank you. It was delicious, but I’m done,” I replied automatically.
I walked back through the elite club, past familiar faces and quiet greetings, my mother’s words echoing with every step.
When I pulled out my phone, and there were no new messages, something inside me cracked.
I wasn’t angry, but it felt as if my world was imploding. The bubble I had been hiding in for all these years had finally burst, and the one person I wanted to be with was forced to pretend I was nothing more than a job.
My hand tightened around my phone.
I texted Fiona. A girls’ night was exactly what I needed.