Chapter 20
Chapter
Twenty
KAYLANI
The late-morning light stretched across the sand arena, bright and hot on the back of my neck. It was the kind of cloudless glare that exposed every mistake.
Atlas moved beneath me with steady, rhythmical beats of his hooves. His ears flicked back and forth, waiting for my cue. He was calm and focused, exactly what he needed to be.
I was a total disaster.
My timing was off, and he had already saved my ass twice.
“Inside leg,” my coach called from the rail. “Don’t let him fall out of the turn. Look where you’re going. Ride the line. And don’t bury him at the base.”
Adjusting, I shortened my reins slightly as we came around the corner. The course mirrored the difficulty that I would face in Florida. The triple combination. A liverpool under the oxer. A short, unforgiving distance that demanded accuracy. It was exhilarating and left no room for error.
I counted down the strides. Three, two, one.
Atlas sailed over the first vertical. I barely had to do anything for the second, and then the oxer. He was a gentleman, never stopping or playing dirty games.
His hind hooves clipped the oxer on the way down. The telltale clink as the rail rattled in the cup told me it was going to fall. In competition, four faults could be the difference between placing in the top three and nowhere.
Riding the tight rollback, I watched the rail tease me as it bounced once more before falling from the cups.
Shit.
“Kaylani, you need to ride him through the combination. That rail is on you, not Atlas,” my coach yelled.
But I already knew that. I locked onto the final two jumps and forced myself to focus.
I stayed with Atlas, eyes up, hands quiet. He launched, powerful and smooth, landing balanced on the other side, cantering five strides before sailing over the last jump.
“Easy,” I whispered, rubbing his neck. “You did great, boy.”
He broke into a trot, then a walk. I gave him the reins and let him stretch, as I took a deep breath and settled back.
Coach Ehrens walked toward me. He pulled off his white baseball cap and wiped the sweat from his brow. I undid my helmet, lifted it long enough to swipe at my damp forehead, then secured it again. Man, that sun was brutal today, and it wasn’t even noon.
“What’s going on, Kaylani? You were making mistakes out there that you normally clear in your sleep. You’re letting your head get ahead of your horse. Atlas can forgive a lot, but the Florida arena won’t.”
This was the one place my father normally couldn’t reach me. But with last night still weighting on my mind, I felt splintered. There was no room for fear here. No room for humiliation, anger, or men who thought they owned me. I needed to let it all go.
“I know…I’m sorry. Family drama,” I said honestly as I met my coach’s eyes.
“No matter what is happening in our personal lives, we cannot let it come into the ring with us.”
I looked down at my hands while Atlas pawed at the sand as if he agreed.
“Yes, Coach.”
“One more time, then we’ll call it a day. Okay?”
I nodded.
He walked away while I gathered myself, giving Atlas the cue to walk on. This time, I was determined not to let anything affect me. I hardened my thoughts and focused on the course as we picked up the canter.
Everything felt smoother. We were finally moving as one.
Halfway through the course, I felt him.
Atlas flicked an ear toward the far end of the arena. A thread of tension moved through his back for half a second before settling again as he spotted someone watching.
I finished the triple clean this time, then cleared the final two jumps on the course.
Coach Ehrens clapped from the sidelines. “Much better. Much, much better,” he called out, holding up his stopwatch.
“Thank you.” I waved, smiling as I brought Atlas back to a controlled trot before letting him walk it out.
Only then did I look toward the rail.
Goran stood there, hands in his pockets, body still.
My heart fluttered in my chest at the sight of him.
His dark hair caught the sunlight. The black wraparound sunglasses did nothing to stop me from feeling his gaze. He looked lethal and sexy in his black suit.
Seeing him made my chest ache in a way that had nothing to do with lust and everything to do with something steadier. Something that felt like home.
No matter what happened, I knew I would always love him.
He didn’t move. He just watched.
I finished the cooldown, pretending he wasn’t there, but that was a futile effort. Ignoring him felt like trying to hold back a storm or stopping the waves from reaching the shore.
Corey, my groom, waited by the gate. She met me and took Atlas’s reins.
“I’ll give him a nice, warm bath. Do you want the ice boots on him after?”
“Yes, that would be great.” I slid out of the saddle and gave Atlas another pat. “Can you take him for a hand graze later? He deserves it after the ride I gave him today.”
Corey smiled. “Happy to.”
She walked away talking to Atlas like he was the cutest puppy in the whole world. That was what I loved most about her. She genuinely loved the horses. She was smart and hardworking, too.
Goran had moved to stand near Coach, chatting quietly with him as I walked up.
“You’re ready. Just don’t overthink it,” Coach said. “And leave the baggage at the door. From what I’ve heard, if you come top four at this show, you’re on the team. But you didn’t hear that from me.”
He smiled as I squealed like a child.
“You earned it. You’ve really proven yourself this last year, and you’re so consistent that they can’t deny you’re one of the best shots the country has at medaling.”
Coach shook Goran’s hand, then turned and started walking away.
“Where are you going?” I called out teasingly.
“To get a well-deserved stiff drink,” he replied over his shoulder.
“See you tomorrow.”
Goran waited until we were alone before speaking.
“Can we talk?”
I studied him for a moment, then nodded.
“Yeah. Come on.”
He followed me past the barns and onto the hacking trail that looped through the property. It was wide enough for four people, shaded by trees, quiet in a way that felt romantic. This was where I rode when I needed to breathe, when I wanted Atlas to stretch without expectations.
And mostly when I wanted space to pretend I could ride away and disappear into the sunset.
Goran walked beside me without crowding, matching my pace instead of setting it. That mattered more than he probably realized.
“You didn’t respond to my text last night.”
I glanced at him. “I didn’t need to respond. You always know where to find me.”
“Maybe I was just hoping to hear from you.”
“I needed to think,” I said, with a sigh. “I’m sorry if I worried you though.”
We wandered in silence for a few moments, the crunch of gravel underfoot grounding me.
“I couldn’t stay away, even if I wanted to,” he admitted. He glanced at me like he expected anger.
“How you feel isn’t what I question, Goran. I know you love me.” I stopped and turned to face him. “It’s whether you will stand up for us when the time comes. Because it is coming. And right now, I don’t know what you’ll do. That’s what bothers me.”
He reached for my hand. “You know I will fight for you. Always. I’d rather things not turn into a bloodbath, though.”
“I know. That’s why I’m going home,” I said, getting ahead of the conversation. “To speak to my father.”
His jaw tightened. “Do you want me to come with you?”
I shook my head. “No. I need to do this alone.”
He didn’t argue, but his eyes hardened.
“If he hurts you…”
I squeezed his hand. “He won’t. There is no one to perform for this time. I’ll be fine.”
But I wasn’t sure I believed the words myself.
“I’m packing up here first,” I said, continuing. “We leave for Florida in two days. I want to be ready.”
He smirked. “For the show, or your father?”
“For everything.”
He chuckled.
We walked on, holding hands and enjoying the quiet.
“I have to ask. How do you handle wearing a suit in this heat? I’d be stripped down naked by now.”
Goran laughed. “Well, it’s a good thing you don’t have to, or I’d be fighting off all the guys.”
He nudged my shoulder like he used to do when I was a teen and hopelessly in love with him, even though he still treated me like a kid sister.
“I buy moisture-wicking boxers,” he said.
I laughed. “That’s the big secret? Good to know.”
It felt good to smile, to joke, and not be so serious.
We stopped at the trail bend where the trees opened to a stretch of wild grass.
“I can’t keep hiding. And I can’t let my father believe that if he waits long enough, I’ll fold.”
“I know you won’t,” Goran said.
“I need to know I won’t.”
He nodded once. “Alright, but I’ll stay close in case you need me.” He kissed the back of my knuckles. “Don’t tell me to do anything different.”
“Okay.”
“So does this mean you’re not pissed I called Titus last night?”
I rolled my eyes. “I want to be. I probably should be. But I’m not. We had a good talk. I think I needed it.”
“Good.”
We returned to the stable in a comfortable silence. As soon as the barn came into view, our hands separated. It hurt to once more face the facade of being nothing more than Kaylani and her bodyguard. It felt like such a cliché.
Later, after I finished packing my show tack and making notes for Florida, I asked Charles to drive me home with a knot of determination tightening in my chest. The house loomed ahead, familiar and heavy all at once.
The guards straightened when they saw me get out of the car.
“Is my father home?”
One of them shook his head. “He left early this morning. Business. He didn’t say when he’d be back.”
I stood there for a moment, not believing my ears.
Of course, he had.
I had finally worked up the courage to face him, to stand my ground, and he was gone. Murphy’s law at its finest.
Only this didn’t feel accidental. It felt deliberate. I knew it probably wasn’t. Maybe he hadn’t known I would show up today, but Father always knew when to disappear. Timing was his favorite weapon.
I walked inside anyway. The house echoed around me, and I understood that my father wasn’t avoiding me. He was setting the board.
If I didn’t make the next move, I was going to lose.
I couldn’t lose. Losing meant losing Goran and my heart forever.