Chapter Eighteen
“You.”
Her eyes shine with such brutal honesty that I forget how to breathe.
“You have me, Syd. I’m not going anywhere.” It’s the truth.
“No.” She shakes her head and pushes up to lean on her elbow, turning on her side to face me. “No. Parker, that’s not, I—” Her words get trapped as a sheen of wetness coats the bottom of her eyes. “I want to try this for real. Us.”
“For real?”
“God.” She groans in frustration and falls back against the sheets, raking her hands down her face.
It’s been a whirlwind twenty-four hours, and frankly, I’m knackered. Other than the two hours on the couch just now, I haven’t slept since Tuesday night. My blood, breath, and soul are Sydney currently. She’s been my every thought since the second I walked into this apartment and found her burning up a storm in her bed.
She was a tangle of limbs, breathing heavily, her brows pulled in pain as she tossed in the sheets. The sheer panic I felt when I tried to wake her up and barely got a response is something that took ten years off my life. I was about to burn the whole world down just to get a spark from her.
She asked me to stay, but I was never going to leave.
After everything that’s happened, I’m half tempted to drag her up to our apartment and make her live there until I know she is one hundred percent again. The thought of letting her out of my sight is unfathomable.
She wants me and I want her.
The way she kisses me already told me that. So, I’m a little lost as to what has her so frustrated.
Syd sits back up pushes herself to her knees. The silky nightdress rises up her thick thighs and rests just inches from her pussy. My pulse races as I remember her naked body in the shower.
It was near impossible to put her in the shower without looking. I tried for a few minutes, but I ended up brushing against her tits more times when I closed my eyes than when I had them open. Further proof that I like to torture myself when it comes to Sydney.
Her hands reach down to grip the collar of my T-shirt as she pulls me closer.
“Parker.” Her breath is hot on my lips, and my name is a silent plea.
I clench my jaw and swallow, my hands coming up to grip the edge of her bed. I keep telling myself to look at her eyes and not her plush mouth. The very same mouth I spent way too much time staring at when she fell asleep in my arms. If I hadn’t been afraid of waking her up, I would’ve kissed her then.
I fucking miss her taste.
We’re hidden in the silent darkness of her bedroom. There is just the dim haze of moonlight seeping through the open door from her living room. Paired with the white glow from her alarm clock, it’s enough to clearly define the outline of her soft body. It makes everything feel just a little more confined. As though this very moment isn’t real because we can hide behind the shadows.
It’s that feeling of anonymity that has me reaching up to cup her face.
I shouldn’t be doing this.
She should be resting.
But I can’t stay away.
“Yeah, Syd?”
She pulls me closer. So fucking close that our lips are grazing against one another with the lightest touch. I inhale and get drunk on her cherry scent.
“Ask me again. Ask me what I want.”
Her lips move against mine as she says the words, and I can barely focus on what she’s saying. I just want to devour her.
“What do you want?” The words are strangled as they leave my throat.
“I want to be with you.” Her lips press slightly against mine as she says it.
“You mean—”
“I mean I kind of like you,” she huffs, and her breath becomes one with mine. The entire world blacks out, and the only light is her. “Like you, like you. I don’t want any more gray areas. No more blurred lines. I want us together.”
Hope sparks.
I want to believe her. God, I want to believe her so fucking badly.
But I honestly don’t know if it’s her talking. She’s been through the ringer the last twenty-four hours, so I’m not sure if she even knows what she’s saying. The last thing I want is to get my hopes up only for her to crush them in the light of day. I might put on a brave face, but I don’t think even I could handle that blatant a rejection.
“Are you sure you’re thinking clearly?” The words are painful as they leave my lips.
It would be so easy to just take her words as they are, but I respect us, what we could be, too much for that.
Raw rejection pierces her eyes, and her breath hitches. I feel her hands slip briefly from their hold on my top before they tighten again.
“I thought that—” Her voice cracks. “I thought that you wanted me.”
Fuck.
Fuck, I’m fucking this all up.
I push myself up and onto the edge of her bed.
“I do.” I tip forward so my forehead rests against hers, and my hands come up to rest on her bare thighs. “Sydney, I want you so fucking much that I would sell my soul just for a minute of your time. You’re my Eve, and I want to keep you in my garden until the end of time. But I also know that you were half-delirious not even eight hours ago, so I just…I just want to make sure you know what you’re saying.”
She sighs, and my chest hollows out as fear attempts to seep in.
“I’m sure, Parker. It might scare me half to death, and this could go horribly wrong, but I’m sure.” Her hands come to lie on top of mine, and she links our fingers together. “I promise that when we wake up, my decision won’t have changed.”
There are so many questions.
But I ignore them all for the carnal desire burning inside me.
I take Sydney’s lips with mine.
The kiss is soft and slow, like pouring honey, and just as sweet.
My hands tangle in her hair as I cup her neck and draw her closer to me. Her chest presses against mine, her breasts flush against me as our breathing increases.
She mewls into me, and the sound has my cock hardening.
God, I’m down bad for this girl.
She could ask me for anything, and I would get on my knees as her loyal knight to do her bidding.
I trail my hands down to the globes of her ass and haul her onto my lap. Her ankles cross behind my back, and I groan at the feeling of her sweet cunt pressed against me.
Our slow and soft kisses descend into a fevered madness as we claw at each other with growing want. My hips rock up, my need for her clear.
She pulls back, panting. “I’m still not ready for that.”
“Don’t worry about that, love. You’re still recovering, and I need you in top shape when I finally fuck you. Wouldn’t want to rip you to shreds on our first go.”
“Big talk.”
“Big dick.”
She rolls her eyes but doesn’t deny it. I laugh, taking her into another heady kiss, memorizing the taste of her.
I place another quick kiss on her lips before rolling us flat on the bed. It takes a second for us to get the sheets fixed, but eventually she is snuggled in my arms.
I’m absolutely buzzing right now.
She molds perfectly to me, and there is not a doubt in my mind.
This girl was made for me.