Chapter 18
Chapter Eighteen
PAIGE
Ford was waiting in the hall as I came down the stairs at three minutes to eight, the manila envelope in my hand, my heart thudding in my chest until I was light-headed. I knew I needed to tell Griffen and Hope the truth. I wanted to come clean, but I was terrified of the consequences.
“Don’t worry,” Ford said.
“I can’t help it,” I said. “I don’t want to have to leave.”
“You’re not going to. I promise.”
“You can’t promise me that,” I said, following him down the hall to the office. I wasn’t sure if having Ford by my side would help or hurt my case, but I was grateful he was there.
After a quick knock on the door and Griffen’s answering, “Come in,” I pushed it open.
Hope was staring down at her phone, but Griffen’s eyes widened a fraction as he saw Ford behind me.
It occurred to me that if Ford hadn’t found that picture of his mother, we might be having this conversation with Griffen about us.
I was done trying to fool myself into thinking this was casual. Every time he touched me, I only wanted him more. That wasn’t changing. We would have ended up here eventually. And I would have been less nervous.
Griffen looked at the envelope in my hand. “Take a seat,” he said, his tone all business. Hope looked up at his words and took in Ford and me standing together. I couldn’t tell what she was thinking.
Stiffly, I sat, knees and ankles together, spine straight, the envelope clutched so hard in my fingers my knuckles were turning white.
Ford sat in the chair beside me. “Hey,” he said quietly, “it’s okay. Give me that.” He slid the envelope from my fingers, wrapping his hand around mine.
“Why don’t you tell us what this is about,” Hope said gently.
“I—” I swallowed hard. “I’m not who you think I am.”
Ford squeezed my fingers in his in comfort. This was between me, Griffen, and Hope. If they were angry—as they had every right to be—Ford wouldn’t be able to help, but I loved that he wanted to. It meant everything.
“I mean,” I clarified, “I am Paige McKenna. Everything I told you when you hired me, everything Hawk and his team looked into, is all true. But there’s more that I didn’t tell you.” I looked to Ford, to the envelope in his hands. “Will you—?”
He nodded. “I found this in Paige’s room yesterday,” he said, holding up the envelope before passing it to Griffen.
“What were you doing in Paige’s room yesterday?” Hope asked sharply, her eyes narrowed on her brother-in-law.
“That’s the other part of this,” Ford said. “Paige and I—” He squeezed my fingers again.
“There’s a Paige and you?” Griffen asked, one eyebrow raised.
“Yes,” Paige said, “which I understand is completely inappropriate.”
“And how long has this been going on?” Hope asked. Her voice was full of curiosity rather than censure, her head tilted to the side as she looked between the two of us. “I usually have a good feel for all the interesting news in Heartstone, but I missed this.”
Her gaze flicked to Griffen, and he shook his head. “Me too. We’ll have to ask Savannah if she knew.”
“She would have told me,” Hope said.
Griffen undid the prongs sealing the envelope, and opened it. The picture of his mother slid out, and he froze. After a long moment, his eyes shot to me—cold and hard. “Why do you have a picture of my mother?” he demanded.
Hope reached for it, turning it over in her hand. “Sarah Elizabeth Fordham.” She let out a sigh. “She was so young.”
“I found that when I was cleaning out my mother’s attic,” I began, explaining as I had to Ford how I’d discovered Paul Williams and the letters from Sarah. “And then Janice Smith had told me you were looking for a nanny, and it seemed…”
“Like fate,” Hope finished for me.
My stomach twisted, the heavy weight of guilt making it hard to draw a full breath. This was the moment I’d been avoiding for so long—admitting I’d been selfish and dishonest and waiting for the axe to come down.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wasn’t honest, and I understand if you want to fire me.”
“He’s not going to fire you,” Ford said firmly from beside me. “Right?” He speared Griffen and then Hope with a sharp glance.
Neither Griffen nor Hope responded. Griffen began pulling the letters from the envelope. “What was your plan?” he said finally.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I didn’t really have one.
I’m not, you know, an investigator or a spy or whatever.
I guess—” I let out a sigh. This was embarrassing, but the whole situation was a mess already.
I might as well just tell the truth. “I thought I’d hear enough gossip to fill in the blanks.
Maybe someone would know something about Sarah and who she’d run off with or where they’d gone.
I didn’t really get much further than being here. ”
I paused, gathering my thoughts.
“Then once I was here, I realized no one really talks about Sarah or why she left. It was clearly such a painful memory for everyone that I couldn’t bring myself to ask any questions.
” I gave a helpless shrug and looked to Hope.
“I love being here. I love the kids. I love your family. And I just put it aside. But that doesn’t change the fact that I knew security was important to you and still came here under false pretenses. ”
“Do you think we should fire you?” Hope asked gently.
I wasn’t expecting the question. “Do I want you to—or do I think you should?”
“Either,” she said. “Both.”
I drew in a slow breath and let it out. More honesty. I owed it both to them and to myself. “I’d understand if you wanted to. Of course I would. But I don’t think you should.”
“Why not?” Griffen asked, his narrowed sea-green eyes leaving me feeling like he could read every thought that passed through my mind, every shadow on my heart.
“I made a mistake,” I said. “One that I’m very sorry for. But I’m good at my job. I love the kids. I love being here, helping care for your family.”
“No one would question that,” Hope said. She shared a long look with Griffen. “Is this it? Is this the sum of your secrets? That you found out your father was involved with Sarah and now you’re involved with Ford?”
I nodded. “That’s it. Those are my deep, dark secrets.”
“I wouldn’t call us a dark secret,” Ford said in a murmur, lifting our joined hands to press a kiss to the back of mine.
I wanted to argue, but the twinkle in his eyes and that tiny curve at the side of his mouth had me smiling back. “Maybe not a dark secret,” I said, “but definitely inappropriate.”
Griffen smirked. “I’m assuming you’re keeping your hands off each other in front of the children?”
I was too shocked by the question to even answer, but Hope did it for me.
“Of course they are!” she said with a teasing grin at me. “Otherwise, we would have known already. You two were very discreet. I’m assuming this is fairly new?”
I nodded again, my throat so dry I didn’t think I could swallow.
“You’ll find it’s nearly impossible to keep a secret long-term in Heartstone Manor,” Hope said. “I don’t have a problem with any of it. Assuming we keep communication clear going forward, of course.”
“Absolutely,” I said, letting out a breath. “I’ve regretted the way I handled this for months. I wanted to tell you, but…I love this job, and I was afraid you’d send me away. I feel more at home here than I have in years, and I didn’t want to lose that.”
I looked to Ford. He had his eyes on his brother, who was staring back at him, a small smile curving his mouth that reminded me of Ford’s.
“If you do anything to drive Paige away,” Griffen said to Ford, “the kids and I will murder you in your sleep.”
“Understood,” Ford said, his laugh a low rumble in his throat.
“Fine.” Griffen nodded. “Before we look through this envelope further, I have some news of my own—from Emmett, Hawk’s friend who’s now at Sinclair.”
I nodded, vaguely remembering hearing Emmett’s name here and there.
“He’s got contacts,” Griffen went on, “and access to places on the dark web the rest of them don’t. He found out that Cole’s put out a bounty.”
Ford shook his head. “What does that mean?”
“It means,” Griffen said, tracing the edges of the photograph of their mother, “that he’s made you a very profitable target.
Hawk’s coming by shortly. We’re calling Cooper.
We need to put together a plan. But, for the moment, our main objective is to keep you alive.
” He pointed at Ford. “That means you stay put. You don’t leave Heartstone by yourself. ”
I knew from being around Griffen and Hope so much that Cooper meant Cooper Sinclair of Sinclair Security. Griffen had worked for him for years, and they considered each other as close as brothers. I hoped that extended to Cooper keeping Griffen’s actual brother safe.
“Yeah, I got it,” Ford said. “I’m staying for the call with Cooper.”
Griffen nodded in agreement and then turned his attention back to the manila envelope. He read the first letter, and then the next, handing them to Hope when he was finished. Halfway through, he said, “This isn’t right.”
I watched them, letting my nerves settle.
“What do you mean?” Hope asked, looking up from the letter in her hands.
“The handwriting.” He set the letter down and looked at Ford. “Do you still have any of those postcards she used to send?”
Ford’s fingers uncurled from my hand, and he stood. “I’ll be right back.” He strode from the room, leaving Griffen and Hope alone with me.
“It seems like they were so much in love,” Hope said. “But I still don’t understand how she could have left her children.” She looked to me. “How he could have left you.”
“I wasn’t even born yet,” I said quietly. The pain was dull, but there, as it always was.
“Still.” She laid her hand over her flat stomach, glancing over to the crib in the corner where Stella lay on her back, playing with a brightly colored toy. “I still don’t understand how they could have so much love for each other and leave their children.”
“Me neither,” I said in a whisper, my heart aching at the thought. “But they did.”
Ford came back in. He laid three postcards on the desk, pictures down, the writing facing up.
I leaned forward and read upside down:
Happy 10th birthday, Ford.
Love, Mom
“That’s it?” I said. “Is that all you got from her?” It was almost worse than if there’d been nothing. The disinterest was clear. God, people could be so awful.
He shrugged. “One a year until I was in, I don’t know, my early twenties. Then they stopped.”
I looked to the next one:
I can’t believe you’re 13, my little man. Hope you have a great one.
Love, Mom
So cheerful and detached. It didn’t sound like the woman who’d written the letters to my father.
“The handwriting doesn’t match,” Griffen said. “It’s similar, but it’s not the same.”
“What?” Ford said from beside me. He grabbed one of the letters and a postcard and held them side by side.
Up close, I could see what Griffen meant.
The curve of the S wasn’t the same, and the E’s were narrower on the postcards.
The I’s in the letters were punctuated with a dot. And, in the postcards, a small circle.
“So, which are the fakes?” Hope asked. “The letters or the postcards?”
“The postcards,” Griffen said.
“How do you know?” Ford asked.
Griffen shook his head. “I don’t. But my gut says the letters are the real thing. Plus, the fact that they were with that picture, which probably only our mother had…” Griffen looked to me. “Do you mind if I hang on to these?”
I had the same sudden impulse I’d had when Ford had asked the same, to snatch them back and hide them away. “I know they were written by your mother, but I don’t have much that was my father’s,” I said. “Will I get them back?”
Griffen nodded. “I’d like to get one of them checked for fingerprints, which might leave some powder on the paper.”
“Okay,” I agreed. I’d wanted to investigate. This was my chance. “I want to know the truth as much as you do.”
“I’ll be careful with them,” Griffen promised.
Hope stepped back from the desk. “I’m going to take Stella up.”
A knock sounded on the door. We looked to see Hawk pushing it open.
“I’ll fill Hawk in,” Griffen said, gesturing to the letters and postcards on his desk.
Hope scooped Stella into her arms with a coo before turning my way. “Paige, would you come with me?”
My gut sank. She’d seemed supportive, but things could be different in private. I followed her out of the room, looking back to meet Ford’s eyes. He gave me a reassuring chin lift, but it didn’t ease the worry twisting my stomach.
I’d made my bed. Now I had to find out if I could sleep in it.