Chapter 20
Chapter Twenty
PAIGE
Ifollowed Hope out of the office, nerves skittering down my spine.
She’d been kind when I’d finally come clean about my father and the letters, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to bring the hammer down now that we were alone.
Despite her empathy and compassion, Hope wasn’t a softie.
She might dislike having to fire me, but it didn’t mean she wouldn’t do it.
I followed her into the suite she shared with Griffen, and farther to the small nursery she’d set up for Stella. We headed straight to the changing table, where we fell into a comfortable rhythm—Hope stripping Stella down as I grabbed a diaper and wipes.
“Are you okay with the Ford situation?” she asked, shooting me a quick look. It felt like an X-ray straight to my heart.
“I don’t know how to answer that,” I said honestly. “It feels inappropriate—”
“You said that already,” Hope said.
“Inappropriate because he’s my boss’s brother and we live in the same house, which is also my workplace.”
“I can see that,” Hope said. “But we never specifically said Sawyers were off-limits.”
“I didn’t think you needed to,” I said.
I helped corral Stella’s waving feet, smiling down at the baby as she grinned on the changing table.
She was a good girl most of the time, but she liked turning her feet into moving targets when we were trying to change her.
Potty training couldn’t come soon enough, but it wasn’t time yet—not even close.
“Then Ford came home,” I said, “and I went from not even tempted, to…” I wasn’t sure I could explain the attraction that had sprung up out of nowhere at my first glimpse of Ford Sawyer. “I didn’t think he’d even noticed me, but—” I shrugged. “It turned out he did.”
“But there was no coercion, no pressure from him?” Hope asked.
“No,” I said, immediately understanding what she was getting at. “Nothing like that. Whatever’s between us, it’s totally consensual on both sides.”
“Good to know,” Hope said. “I had to check. So, are you two… Is it love? Or just fun?”
All I could do was be honest at this point. And I hadn’t even figured it out for myself yet. I let out a sigh. “It’s definitely fun, but it’s not just fun. Not for me,” I said, “and I don’t think for him either. We haven’t talked about it, but—”
Hope nodded, throwing away a handful of soiled wipes and tickling Stella’s belly before she fastened the diaper.
“Are you upset?” I asked, bracing for her answer.
“No, not upset, just…” Hope bit her lower lip and drew in a breath, letting it out slowly.
I watched her for any sign of anger, but it wasn’t there.
“Ford is complicated,” Hope said slowly.
“I spent a lot of years so angry at him for what he did to Griffen, for playing along with Prentice. But he changed, or he is trying to, which amounts to the same thing to me. He’s more vulnerable than he seems to be.
And I saw the way he looked at you in Griffen’s office.
He’s got a strong protective streak, which I think is as much a surprise to him as it is to everyone else.
But it’s there. And you’re one of the people he wants to protect.
So, I find myself in the odd position of needing to ask you to be careful with him. ”
I nodded, understanding. “This isn’t casual for me,” I said, because it was the truth.
“I can’t make any promises about how things will work out.
It’s too new, and I don’t even know what Ford wants.
But I care about him—a lot more than I should, given how long we’ve known each other. I don’t have any guarantees.”
“I’m not asking for a guarantee,” Hope said, “just that you take care—with both of you.” She turned to me, a newly dressed Stella in her arms, and reached out with one hand to take mine, squeezing my fingers much the same way Ford had.
“You haven’t had an easy time of it either, Paige.
If things go sideways, you can talk to me, okay?
I know I’m Ford’s sister-in-law, but I’m also your friend. ”
“I know,” I said, squeezing her hand back. Her words sent me over the edge, all the tension from the last twelve hours releasing. Tears welled up and spilled over, streaking down my face.
“Oh, Paige,” she said.
“I just—oh, I don’t know why I’m crying now,” I said.
“I was so worried you guys would fire me. I feel at home here. I’ve never worked for a family I wanted to leave—I’ve been lucky that way—but you’re different.
I thought I would miss the travel. I thought Sawyers Bend and Heartstone would be too small.
But it’s the opposite. It’s always an adventure around here. ”
At her wry expression, I laughed.
“I don’t mean the danger, or Ford getting stalked by assassins—I could do without that part.
But the kids and all of you, it’s just…there’s always something going on.
And your family, there’s just so much love.
I didn’t want to leave, and it made me stay quiet long after I should have told you about my father and Sarah.
I just didn’t know how. And I’m so glad you’re not throwing me out. ”
Hope tightened her grip on my hand and tugged me forward into a hug, Stella chortling happily between us.
“You didn’t mean any harm,” Hope said. “That’s the important part.
I guarantee you Griffen gave your dad’s name to Cooper Sinclair.
Maybe they can dig something up. I don’t know that Griffen and Ford have dreams of seeing their mother again.
They did when they were kids, but a lot of time has passed.
Still, it would be good to know where they are, what they did with their lives.
It might be some kind of closure, you know? ”
I nodded. “That’s exactly how I feel. I don’t know if I want to see my father.
He left me, and he hasn’t bothered to reach out in all these years.
Maybe they’ve been living on the beach in Belize for the last thirty years, or off with the Peace Corps, or— Who the hell knows?
But I want to erase the question mark and put a period at the end of the sentence. ”
Hope nodded. “I don’t think Griffen or Ford has ever looked for her.
Griffen walked away from his family when Prentice kicked him out, and he did it full throttle, so I doubt he tried to find her.
She left him first, after all.” Hope shook her head, squeezing Stella in her arms. “I just don’t understand.
I get leaving Prentice. He was an asshole on his best day and a monster at his worst. But leaving Griffen and Ford—” She stroked a hand over Stella’s curls, laughing as her daughter caught a finger in her little grip and squeezed, yanking her mother’s hand back and forth.
“I don’t get how she could leave her children.
And worse, she left them with Prentice. Maybe she thought Miss Martha would be the mother they needed.
I know she tried, but it’s not the same. ”
Hope dropped a kiss on Stella’s head, then met my eyes.
“That’s who you should talk to—Miss Martha.
You probably can’t go out, given lockdown and all—” Hope rolled her eyes.
“But she’s the only one I can think of who might know what happened when Sarah left.
She might remember your father if he was ever here.
Let’s go see Savannah. We need to figure out where we’re going to put any extra staff that’s coming in for security, and she’ll know better than anyone when her mother will be by next. ”
I followed Hope out of the room, buoyed by the idea that I could finally ask all of my questions without worrying about being found out or dredging up bad memories.
It seemed like a long shot to hope that Savannah’s mother knew anything.
But as Hope had said, if anybody did, it would be Miss Martha.