Chapter 28
Chapter Twenty-Eight
PAIGE
When I reached the end of the hall, Ford’s door was open, his room dark. I didn’t know where he was. Not that it mattered. Not anymore.
My chest felt as if it had been caved in. I wasn’t sure what fantasies I’d been spinning in my mind, in my heart, over Ford Sawyer—more than I’d thought, considering how wrecked I felt to have them shattered.
He said he loved me, but I didn’t feel loved. I felt manipulated and pushed aside. Abandoned.
That was it. I felt fucking abandoned.
And it sucked. I wasn’t a toy to be put down and picked back up later when he wanted to play again.
I went into my room. Turning to my closet, I realized I was still wearing Ford’s robe.
I didn’t want his robe. I didn’t want anything of his, not anymore.
I untied the belt and pushed it down my arms, careful around the bandages, then balled it up and threw it across the hall.
It landed short of Ford’s door, but he would get the message.
Closing my own door, I pulled on a T-shirt and a pair of knit shorts. At once thoroughly exhausted and too revved up to sleep, I was thinking about a cup of tea when a quick knock sounded on my door.
“Yeah,” I said, lacking the energy to go open it. “Come in.”
The door swung open, and Hope was there, a baby monitor playing staticky ocean sounds in one hand, a bottle of wine in the other. She walked in, Savannah following with three wineglasses in her hands and what looked like a bottle of ibuprofen tucked under her arm.
“Hey, you can kick us out if you want,” Hope said, “but we come bearing wine and shoulders to cry on.”
“We heard Ford’s being an ass,” Savannah added. “Not a surprise.”
I stared at both of them, my jaw dropping. “How do you know everything as soon as it happens?”
“That’s my job,” Savannah said. “Hope just comes by it naturally.”
“Do you want a glass of wine, or do you want us to leave you alone?” Hope asked, setting the wine on the beverage station Savannah had arranged in the sitting area of my room. “Just so you know, if you want us to go, we will. But we won’t leave you alone for long.”
“Why?” I asked, not sure I understood.
“Because you’re family,” Hope said. “I thought we made it clear—we decided we’re keeping you.”
“Ford will come to his senses,” Savannah said. “Whether you forgive him is another matter. But this house is big enough for all of us. So, do you want us to get lost, or do you want a glass of wine? You look pretty revved up on adrenaline.”
“I am,” I admitted. “I feel like I could sleep for a million years and like I can’t sit still.”
“Wine, then,” Hope said. “Just one glass?”
“Yes, please,” I agreed, reeling a little at their show of support. I didn’t argue when Savannah set three dark red pills in my palm. I was starting to ache all over. I grabbed my water bottle from the coffee table and took them.
Once I took the pills, Savannah went to work on the wine. She had the foil off and the cork out of the bottle with a few efficient movements. She handed me a glass, half-filled with a golden liquid that smelled of fruit and fields.
“Griffen said they have a plan,” Hope offered, dropping into an armchair.
Savannah sat on the love seat, and I perched on the edge of my bed.
If you’d asked me a few minutes ago, I would have said all I needed was to be alone, to lick my wounds, and sleep for a week. But this—friends and a glass of wine—was so much better. I might have been abandoned by Ford, but I wasn’t alone.
“I didn’t get the details on the plan,” Hope said. “Did you?”
“Kind of, a little.” I told them about what Eli had said while Griffen was bandaging me, Wren pulling me into the surveillance room, and the conversation they’d had with the sniper. “Griffen was very smooth,” I said to Hope.
“That’s my guy,” she said. “Smooth—and sometimes a little scary.”
“He was definitely scary,” I agreed.
“I don’t know how I feel about this,” Savannah said.
“On the one hand, it sounds like people are going to stop trying to get to the house or shoot Ford if they know they won’t be paid.
But on the other hand, it means Cole Haywood’s going to head straight for us.
And I’m assuming Hawk and these new people will just let him in? ”
“They didn’t get that specific,” I said, “but that was my guess too.”
“I don’t like that either,” Hope said, “though it’s not like we can all go to a safe house.”
“Why not?” I asked.
“Well, for one thing,” Hope said, “if we’re gone too long, we violate the terms of Prentice’s will, and we all get kicked out.
And at the moment, that means that most of us—Tenn and Royal, Quinn, Avery—lose access to their places of business, since they’re still technically owned by Sawyer Enterprises. ”
“Though I think,” Savannah said, “more than all of that, it would mean we can’t come back and live under Heartstone’s roof together.”
“That would break Ford’s heart,” I said without thinking.
“I know he’s been hiding away since he’s been back, but it means everything to him to be here with all of you.
” I shook my head. “Not that I care,” I added, mostly trying to convince myself, hoping Savannah was kind enough not to comment.
We all knew that was bullshit. Of course, I cared.
Savannah sighed. “I feel bad that I was so annoyed he was coming back. He’s not the same.”
“He seems to have changed,” Hope said. She took a long sip of her wine.
“I’m not trying to defend him, but Ford’s not trained to deal with this kind of thing like Griffen and Hawk and the rest of the security team are.
He—” She shook her head. “He’s tough, don’t get me wrong.
When I worked for my uncle Edgar, I sat in on a lot of meetings and saw Ford in action.
He’s an excellent negotiator, very good at understanding people—what they want, what they need, how to get them to do what he wants them to do.
The fact that he’s completely screwed up with you tells me how much he cares. ”
“Well, that doesn’t make any sense,” I said. “Shouldn’t he have screwed up less if he cares?”
“Nah,” Savannah said. “He’s screwing up because he can’t think straight. Griffen said you were covered in blood when he saw you downstairs. You probably gave Ford a stroke.”
I wasn’t quite ready for empathy for Ford, but she had a point.
Savannah let out a long sigh. “Finn said Ford can’t handle his guilt.
He keeps trying to apologize. But Finn doesn’t want more apologies.
He’s fine. Everything worked out the way he wanted it to in the end.
He said seeing how racked with guilt Ford is took away any need for more.
He knows Ford is sorry, and they can’t change the past.” She took a sip of wine and sent me a long look.
“I can imagine— And keep in mind, I’m not saying this to get you to cut him any slack; he can’t just push you aside to keep you safe.
But, I can imagine that seeing you covered in blood, thinking you could have been killed in his place, is probably fucking with his head big-time. ”
Hope nodded in agreement. “Definitely. Still, what exactly did he tell you? Griffen wasn’t clear.”
I let out a sigh. “That we have to stay away from each other, I guess. And that everyone has to stay away from him. I don’t know what his plan is. To hide out in the storage room until the security team catches Cole Haywood?”
It seemed ridiculous, but what did I know? I wasn’t a security expert. And they’d clearly known what they were doing by negotiating with a would-be murderer.
“I’m sure they’re working something out,” Hope said. “That’s what they do. In the meantime, we’ve got your back, Paige.”
Maybe sensing that I was done talking about Ford, Hope changed the subject to Stella and the tooth she thought might be coming in.
Finally, maybe we’d get a break from the teething nightmare.
From there, we went to Christmas, the holiday right around the corner.
Savannah strategized decorations with Hope, and I sipped my wine, piping in here and there, feeling the tension and the adrenaline drain out of me drop by drop, the wine soaking into my brain cells until all I wanted to do was drift off.
I set the mostly empty glass on my bedside table and leaned into my pillows, pulling up the blanket. My eyes started to flutter shut. I felt a hand brush my hair back from my face and another tuck the covers around my shoulders.
“Sleep in tomorrow,” Hope said. “It’ll be the best thing to get that arm healed up.” She stroked her hand over my hair once more. “Everything’s going to be okay, Paige. I promise. Come find me when you’re up and about. We’ll figure out the day.”
“Okay,” I said, my eyes heavy. “Thanks.”
“Anytime,” Hope said, squeezing my shoulder and giving a final tug to the covers. “You’re part of the family now.”
They murmured to each other quietly as they left, closing the door behind them.
I felt myself drifting, my heart still aching, my chest still feeling as if it had been caved in. I wanted Ford. I’d gotten used to not sleeping alone, and though my room was warm enough, I felt cold to the bone. And far too angry to think about forgiving him.