Chapter 30
Pagkalabas na pagkalabas ni Kairi mula sa classroom ni Miss Herrera, agad niyang nakita sina Zoe at Maya na nakatayo malapit sa bulletin board sa hallway. Nakasandal si Zoe sa wall, habang si Maya naman ay hawak ang phone na mukhang may binabasa para kay Zoe.
The second their eyes landed on Kairi, the talking stopped.
Kairi tried to play it cool. Kunwari chill lang, pero halata agad sa kilos niya. Her steps slowed, shoulders hunched ever so slightly. And by the time she reached them, the crack finally broke open.
"Shit!" Kairi muttered, rubbing both palms across her face na para bang mabubura nito ang naging pag-uusap nila ni Miss Herrera.
Zoe raised an eyebrow, pushing off the wall and stepping closer. "Kai, anong nangyari? You look like you just walked through fire."
Kairi let out a harsh breath, half-laugh, half-sigh. Her eyes darted to the floor before meeting theirs again, pagod at halatang frustrated.
"I don't know," she finally said, shaking her head. "Hindi ko alam kung ano bang ine-expect ko."
"I tried to be calm," she continued. "Tried to be...neutral. Pero she just—she plays with her words, you know? Hindi siya nagtataas ng boses. Hindi siya mukhang inis o galit. Pero you still walk out of there feeling like you've been cut open."
Zoe crossed her arms. "Did she say anything about the panel?"
"Yeah," Kairi muttered. "She said to 'convince her.' In that tone pa talaga. Parang hindi pa nagsisimula, talo na agad ako."
"Pero you know your stuff, Kai," Maya reassured. "Hindi ka naman pabigat lang sa group. Alam mo iyong paper natin inside and out. She can't twist that.'"
Kairi let out a dry, humorless laugh and leaned back against the cold wall behind her.
"Alam na alam ko iyong research natin. I do. I know it from front to back, line to line. I did most of the writing and the damn formatting. I know how to defend it."
She paused, her voice lowering as she looked at the ground.
"But it's not about that with her. Hindi ito tungkol sa paper o sa film. She makes it about...me."
Biglang naging tahimik ang paligid. Parang iyong usual hallway noise—chika ng ibang students, tunog ng mga paang dumadaan, lockers na binubuksan—lahat, nawala saglit.
Zoe tried to lighten it up with a teasing smile. "Gusto mo bang kausapin ko siya gaya ng ginawa ko kay Alice?"
Napangiti si Kairi—small and weary, pero totoo.
"Thanks," she said, shaking her head. "Pero ayaw kong pati kayo, mapag-initan."
Maya crossed her arms and leaned against the wall beside her. "Alam mo, for someone na palaban at matapang, ang bilis mong madurog pag siya na ang kausap mo."
"Exactly," Kairi said, pressing a hand against her chest. "This isn't me. I was doing fine. I was good at pretending I wasn't affected anymore. I had control. Pero the moment na pinasakay ko siya sa kotse, everything went to shit."
Nakatitig lang siya sa floor, brows furrowed, like she was watching a replay of everything in her head.
"I shouldn't have said those things," she murmured. "Hindi ko na dapat sinabi sa kanya na I finally learned my lesson. Damn! Ang satisfying ng moment na iyon. Like I won."
Zoe stepped closer, her expression softening. "At ngayon, it feels like she's making you pay for it."
Kairi nodded slowly. "Yeah. And I let her."
Tahimik ang sumunod na sandali. For a few moments, none of them spoke. The weight of everything sat between them—complicated, tangled, too big to fix with a pep talk.
But Zoe wasn't done.
"You didn't let her," she said firmly. "You just...gave her something real. Something na hindi niya in-expect. And she's the one who didn't know how to deal with it."
"And besides," dagdag pa niya. "You can still walk in that defense and shut it down with your answers. Hayaan mong pagsisihan niya ang mga sinabi niya."
Kairi let out a laugh, this time more genuine, pero halatang may kirot pa rin sa dulo.
She swallowed hard, trying to breathe past the tightness in her chest. "I just need to hold it together. Kahit until Monday lang."
"And you will," Maya said confidently, giving her a light nudge. "Pero kung kailangan mong may nakatingin sa kanya nang masama habang nagpe-present ka, sabihin mo lang."
Zoe grinned. "Si Maya na ang bahala. She can cough every time Miss Herrera makes a comment. Subtle psychological warfare."
Kairi laughed softly, and this time, it reached her eyes. This time, ramdam na may nabawas kahit kaunti sa bigat sa dibdib niya. Hindi pa rin siya okay, pero at least, she wasn't alone.
"Thanks, guys," she said quietly, but with full sincerity.
Zoe tapped Kairi's shoulder. "You're gonna be fine. You always rise when it matters."
Kairi nodded slowly, letting herself believe it—just for that moment.
Later that evening, nasa kwarto lang si Kairi, legs folded habang nakaharap sa laptop na ang ilaw lang ang halos nagsisilbing ilaw ng buong room. Sa bedside table, may mug ng coffee na matagal nang lumamig—untouched since she poured it.
Naglalaban na iyong lamig sa hangin at iyong init ng inis sa dibdib niya.
Nakatitig lang siya sa blinking cursor sa dulo ng notes document.
She'd gone over their methodology four times already. Paulit-ulit na binasa iyong significance of the study section ng paper nila. Highlighted the possible weak points of their framework—the ones a panelist might poke holes into.
But it wasn't the questions that scared her.
It was her.
Every time she rehearsed her answer, she imagined Miss Herrera's eyes—sharp, unreadable. The slight arch of her brow. The way she didn't even need to raise her voice to make Kairi feel exposed.
Walang awa.
Kairi pushed her laptop away and leaned back, running both hands through her hair.
"Shit," she muttered under her breath.
Then louder, to no one in particular, she exclaimed, "We're fucked!"
The knock came hesitant at first—halos hindi marinig. Na parang iyong tao nsa kabila ng pinto ay hindi rin sigurado kung dapat ba talaga siyang kumatok.
Miss Herrera barely noticed it. Malakas ang ulan sa labas—iyong tipong tuloy-tuloy, walang pahinga.
The kind that made you want to disappear under thick blankets with a hot drink and silence.
She was curled up on her sofa, a book resting on her lap.
Napatingin siya sa bintana saglit, then back sa binabasa niya.
Then the knock came again.
Mas malakas. Mas sigurado.
She glanced at the clock on the wall—past ten na. Too late for visitors. Wala naman siyang inaasahang bisita. Most of her neighbors barely even spoke to her, let alone show up sa pinto nang walang pasabi.
Dahan-dahan niyang ibinaba ang libro, fingers still pressed on the spine habang nakikinig. Then she stood, wrapping her cardigan tighter around herself. Her bare feet made soft sounds against the cold wood floor habang papalapit siya sa pinto.
By the third knock, there was an urgency to it.
And when she opened the door—
She froze.
Kairi.
Basang-basa siya—white oversized shirt clinging to her skin, pajama pants heavy with rain. Rainwater dripped from the tips of her hair, trailing down her arms and soaking the already thin fabric. Namumula rin ang pisngi nito—hindi dahil sa lamig, but something deeper. Her breath came uneven.
Kairi's eyes were the worst part. Hindi dahil sa galit. Hindi dahil sa lungkot.
But because they were broken. Lost. And all too real.
"I couldn't sit still," Kairi said, voice hoarse. Halos hindi marinig sa lakas ng ulan sa likod niya.
Miss Herrera's grip on the doorknob tightened.
"Miss, I tried. I really tried." Kairi let out a breath, her chest visibly rising and falling. "But my mind just—I couldn't stop thinking. I couldn't stop feeling. And now I'm here."
Nagkaroon ng ilang segundong katahimikin sa pagitan nila. Miss Herrera didn't say anything right away. She could've closed the door right then and there.
Could've said, Kairi, this is inappropriate.
Could've reminded her—This is not okay. This can't happen.
Pero hindi niya ginawa.
Instead, she let out a long, quiet sigh. Then, slowly, she stepped aside.
"Come inside."