Chapter 51
Tahimik lang ang biyahe pauwi. Si Maya, nakaupo sa gitna nina Zoe at Kairi with her arms crossed tightly.
Si Zoe naman, kunwari ay busy sa phone pero ilang minuto na, hindi pa rin nagbabago ang screen.
Si Kairi, nakasandal lang sa binata. Nakatulala lang sa kawalan habang gulong-gulo pa ang isip sa mga nangyari kanina.
Then, out of the corner of her eye, may napansin siya.
May kotse sa tabi ng kalsada with its hazard lights blinking faintly in the dark. Napasinghap siya. She knew that car. Pero kahit gusto niyang sabihing hindi, she still leaned closer, forcing herself to check the plate number when their car slowed at the corner.
"Wait—stop," agad niyang sabi, sitting up straight.
Napatingin sa kanya ang driver sa rearview mirror, halatang naguguluhan.
"Kairi?" kunot-noong tawag ni Maya.
"Please, stop. Pakiatras po konti, kuya," she requested.
Zoe grabbed her wrist. "Kai, no. Don't."
Maya leaned forward, nakakunot na ang noo. "Seryoso ka ba, Kai? Hindi mo nga alam kung—"
"I know," Kairi cut in, already reaching for the door handle. "It's her."
Dahan-dahang ipinarada ng driver ang sasakyan sa gilid. Bago pa siya mapigilan, kumawala na si Kairi at bumaba.
Narinig pa niya si Maya mula sa loob. "Kai, think about this!"
Pero hindi na lumingon si Kairi. She was already walking toward the car by the side. The hazard light's steady blink was the only light guiding her.
She knocked lightly on the driver's window. Once. Twice. Nothing. Her chest tightened. She knocked again, harder this time.
Unti-unting bumaba ang bintana—just a small crack. And there she was.
Miss Herrera's face appeared sa maliit na space. Her eyes were shadowed and her expression was tight. "Kairi," she said quietly. "Go home."
Kairi leaned closer as her palm pressed gently against the glass. "Miss, not like this. Please."
"You shouldn't be here," Miss Herrera said, voice low. "Just leave me."
Umiling lang si Kairi. "No, Miss. I can't. Please, let me drive you home."
"That's not—" Miss Herrera started, pero naputol din. Napalingon ito sa gilid with her jaw tightening, parang may gusto pa siyang sabihin pero pinigilan na lang ito.
Kairi stayed where she was kahit nanginginig ang kamay. "Miss Herrera, please," she whispered. "Just...let me. Hindi kita kayang iwan nang ganyan."
It felt like forever. Tahimik lang ang paligid at ang tanging tunog lang ay ang mahina at tuloy-tuloy na tick ng hazard light. Finally, with a quiet exhale, Miss Herrera pushed the door open.
Lumabas si Miss Herrera, diretso lang ang tindig.
Pero halata sa bawat galaw niya iyong pag-iwas ng tingin kay Kairi.
Kairi didn't push. Sumunod lang siya, walking toward the other side.
She opened the passenger door for her. Maingat ang galaw ni Kairi, almost instinctive.
Miss Herrera hesitated only a moment before sliding in.
Kairi shut the door softly, then circled to the driver's side and slid in. Neither spoke as she turned off the hazard lights and eased the car back onto the road.
The drive was quiet and loaded. Kairi kept her focus sharp on the street ahead, pero ramdam niya ang bawat paghinga ni Miss Herrera sa tabi niya, bawat shift ng posisyon nito.
Once or twice, she glanced sideways, catching the faint profile of Miss Herrera leaning against the window with eyes closed as if willing herself elsewhere.
Lumipas pa ang ilang minuto bago nila marating ang pamilyar na gate ng apartment complex ni Miss Herrera. Maingat na ipinarada ni Kairi ang kotse sa isang slot, sabay dahan-dahang huminga bago patayin ang makina.
The silence that followed was too heavy, too final. Hinawakan ni Kairi nang mahigpit ang manibela, bago niya kinuha ang susi ng kotse at iniabot kay Miss Herrera.
"Here," Kairi said softly.
Hindi ito kinuha ni Miss Herrera. Tumama lang sandali ang tingin niya sa susi, tapos kay Kairi, bago siya muling umiwas. "You've done enough," she said, voice quiet but brittle. "Go home."
Kairi shook her head. "Miss, I'm not leaving you like this."
"You don't have a choice," sagot ni Miss Herrera and this time, mas matalas na pero halatang nanginginig din ang boses.
"Yes, I do," Kairi replied. "I can choose to stay."
Miss Herrera didn't answer. Binuksan niya lang ang pinto, bumaba, at narinig ni Kairi ang mahinang tunog ng heels niya sa pavement. Kairi followed quickly, shutting the door behind her.
Pagdating nila sa unit ni Miss Herrera, naglabas ito ng susi. Pero nanginginig ang kamay niya habang sinusubukang ipasok sa lock. Once. Twice. It slipped. The third time, the whole ring of keys slid from her grip and hit the floor with a sharp clatter.
Napahinto siyo, her jaw tightening, bago mahinang napamura. Bumagsak ang balikat niya na parang naubusan ng lakas sa maliit lang na pagkakamaling iyon.
Agad na yumuko si Kairi para pulutin ang mga susi.
"Give it back," utos ni Miss Herrera. Low and strained ang boses habang inaabot ang kamay niya.
Kairi straightened, holding them just out of reach. "Miss, hindi mo nga ma-steady ang kamay mo. Let me."
"Kairi, I said give them—"
"No," Kairi cut off. Her eyes didn't leave her teacher's. Mahina lang ang boses niya pero matigas ang tono nito. "Miss, please."
For a moment, parang gusto na naman ni Miss Herrera makipag-argue. Her lips parted like she was about to say something, but nothing came out. Kaya si Kairi na mismo ang nagpasok ng susi sa lock at nagbukas ng pinto.
Agad na pumasok si Miss Herrera at dumaan lang sa tabi ni Kairi nang hindi man lang tumitingin. Ramdam ni Kairi iyong tension sa balikat nito, iyong bigat ng bawat hakbang. Pagdating sa sala, she dropped her bag carelessly on the sofa, before heading straight for the bathroom.
The door shut behind her and the faint rush of running water followed.
Kairi stood in the open doorway of the apartment for a moment, hindi sigurado kung dapat ba siyang pumasok o umalis na lang.
Pero kahit anong pilit niyang sabihing tama na, leave her alone, naaalala pa rin niya iyong mga kamay ni Miss Herrera kanina—nanginginig, hindi mapakali.
Hindi niya kayang umalis nang ganoon lang.
Not after everything she'd seen in that classroom.
She closed the door behind her and stepped inside.
Her eyes moved across the space before hovering near the bathroom door, close enough to hear the water running. Close enough to hear the muffled sound of shaky and uneven breath.
"Miss..." mahina niyang tawag. Her voice came out too soft. She cleared it gently and tried again. "Miss Herrera?"
No answer. Just the water.
Kairi pressed her lips together. Her hands curled into fists at her sides. Gusto niyang kumatok. She wanted to push, to check. But she didn't. Not yet. Instead, she sank down onto the sofa with her elbows on her knees. She stared at the door with a storm tightening in her chest.
And the silence stretched at bawat segundo, lalong bumibigat ang hangin sa paligid.
Tahimik pa rin ang buong apartment—halos isang oras na. Masyadong tahimik. Tanging tunog lang ng tubig mula sa banyo ang maririnig. Paulit-ulit lang, walang tigil.
Kairi couldn't sit still. Lakad lang siya nang lakad, tapos upo, tapos tayo ulit. Ramdam niya iyong bigat sa dibdib na parang lalo lang sumisikip bawat minuto. Hanggang sa hindi na niya kinaya. Nilapit niya ang palad sa pinto ng banyo at marahang kumatok.
"Miss?" tawag niya, mahina pero puno ng pag-aalala.
No reply.
She knocked harder, heart thudding. "Miss Herrera?"
Still nothing. Only the water.
Kinabahan siya kaya she grabbed the doorknob and twisted. And it turned easily. Dahan-dahan niyang binuksan ang pinto.
Her eyes widened. "Gosh..."
Miss Herrera was sitting on the tiled floor, fully clothed. Her head bowed under the running water. Basang-basa ang blouse niyang dikit na dikit sa balat niya. Her hair clung to her face and her shoulders were shaking. She looked broken, like she hadn't even noticed the world around her.
Kairi rushed inside, fumbling to shut the shower valve off. Biglang tumigil ang tunog ng tubig, naiwan lang iyong mabigat na katahimikan. Kinuha niya ang towel sa rack at lumuhod sa harap nito bago sinubukang ipatong sa balikat ni Miss Herrera.
But Miss Herrera slapped it away. Her voice came ragged, shaking. "Kairi, why are you still here?"
"Dahil hindi kita pwedeng iwan nang ganyan!" Kairi shot back, eyes stinging.
"You should've. I told you to go."
Kairi ignored it at pinilit pa ring ipatong ang towel sa balikat nito. But Miss Herrera shoved it again—mas malakas na ngayon, mas marahas. Her eyes flared through the wet strands of hair.
"Don't you get it, Kairi? I don't want you here! I can't—" she gasped, voice breaking. "I can't hold it together, and you're here like you can fix me!"
Kairi's chest tightened, but she stayed kneeling in front of her. "Then let me try—"
"No!" sigaw ni Miss Herrera. "You think this is what I want? Na makita mo ako nang ganito? For you to look at me with pity?"
"Miss, hindi ito out of pity," Kairi said, voice trembling. "It's because I care—"
"Stop saying that!" Miss Herrera suddenly surged forward, sabay hawak sa wrist ni Kairi nang sobrang higpit na halos masaktan ito. Their faces were inches apart, breath mingling in the air. "Stop acting like you know better. And stop acting like you're the one in control."
Kairi's breath trembled, pero hindi siya umatras.
"Then make me stop," she whispered.
For a split second, there was just silence. Then suddenly, Miss Herrera moved. Fast. She crashed into Kairi, lips meeting hers in a kiss that wasn't soft at all. It was harsh—desperate and almost angry. Parang bang may gusto siyang burahin o takasan.
Their teeth clashed, their lips bruised. It wasn't careful. It was chaotic.
Kairi let out a startled gasp. Halos mawalan siya ng balance, but her hands flew to Miss Herrera's shoulders, holding on. "Miss—"
"Don't," Miss Herrera breathed out between kisses, almost shoving her against the cold tiled wall. "Don't call me that—don't—"
Another kiss. Fierce. Uncontrolled. It stole the words right out of Kairi's mouth.
"Miss..." Kairi managed to gasp, her voice breaking. "You're...scaring me—"
"I should," Miss Herrera whispered against her lips, voice trembling. "Because this is wrong, and I can't stop—"
Pero hinalikan niya ulit si Kairi—mas madiin ngayon, mas magaspang. Almost punishing. Humigpit ang pagkakahawak niya sa braso ni Kairi, as if letting go would send the world crumbling beneath them.
Kairi's hands found Miss Herrera's face, thumbs brushing over damp skin. Sobrang lakas ng tibok ng puso niya na parang iyon na lang ang tanging naririnig niya. Wala na siyang ibang naramdaman, narinig, o naisip pa.
"Then don't," mahina niyang sabi. Not quite a command, but something fragile and fierce na may halong matinding pangangailangan o pagkagusto. Need.
And that shattered something.
Miss Herrera kissed her again. Reckless, breathless, and soaked with everything she couldn't say. Each movement was tangled with grief, hunger, and rage. All spilling out in desperate fragments.
And their bodies pressed so close, it was almost suffocating.