Chapter 63
Isinara ni Kairi ang pinto sa likod niya at sandaling tumigil muna doon.
Simple lang ang room niya. Malinis at walang masyadong gamit, except for the bed, a small desk near the window, and the two suitcases na dinala ng father niya kanina. The late afternoon light filtered through the curtains, stretching across the floor.
The faint music from the living room drifted through the wall. Zoe and Maya were probably still talking while pretending to clean.
Pero kahit may ingay, parang ang tahimik pa rin.
Instead of unpacking, Kairi let herself fall backward onto the mattress.
Lumubog ang mattress sa bigat niya habang nakatitig siya sa plain na kisame.
The room still smelled unfamiliar. Amoy malinis dahil sa faint na amoy ng detergent and wood polish.
It wasn't like home. Not like the bedroom she had grown up in.
She folded one arm under her head at dahan-dahang huminga.
So this was it.
Malayo sa bahay. Bagong routine. University in a few days. No long commute. At unfamiliar ang mga street.
Dapat exciting itong bagong chapter ng buhay niya. Well, part of her felt excited. But another part of her just felt tired.
Her thoughts drifted slowly, wandering the way they often did when she allowed herself to stop moving.
Her thoughts moved past the apartment. Past the university. Hanggang napunta sa lugar o isang taong iniiwasan niyang balik-balikan.
Miss Herrera.
Nakatitig lang si Kairi sa kisame at malayo na ang tingin.
Nasaan na kaya siya? Ano ng ginagawa niya ngayon? Is she still teaching somewhere else? Had she left the city entirely? Had she even thought about Kairi after leaving?
Sumikip ang dibdib ni Kairi.
Bakit siya umalis nang ganon lang? Bakit hindi siya nag-stay kahit saglit lang para magpaliwanag?
To say something. O kahit ano.
Bumalik na naman ang mga alaala ng gabing iyon. Ang naging pagtatalo nila. Mga salitang binitiwan nila sa isa't-isa. Ang pagsara ng pinto. At ang pag-alis ni Kairi nang puno ng galit.
Her throat burned.
A tear slid slowly down the side of her face, slipping toward her ear. She didn't even bother wiping it. She just let it soak into her hair.
For a while, nakatitig lang siya sa kisame, breathing slowly. She just let the pain sit where it wanted.
Then another thought crept in.
What if, one day, muli niyang makita si Miss Herrera?
What would she even say?
Bahagyang kumunot ang noo ni Kairi habang nabubuo ang idea sa isip niya.
In-imagine niya ito.
Makikita niya si Miss Herrera somewhere random. Sa street. Sa café. Sa labas ng bookstore.
Hihinto si Miss Herrera pag nakita siya.
Of course she would stop.
She'd probably look shocked. Frozen. And speechless for once.
At si Kairi?
This time, marami siyang sasabihin.
Itatanong niya kung bakit siya umalis. Kung bakit siya nawala na lang nang basta without even saying anything. Why she thought disappearing was better than staying and facing things. Why she thought that was fair.
Her jaw tightened slightly.
Or maybe—
Maybe hindi muna siya magtatanong. Maybe she'd make her uncomfortable first.
Maybe she'd stare at her like she was trying to remember where she had seen her before.
Maybe she'd tilt her head slightly and say something like, "Sorry, do I know you?"
Magpa-panic kaya si Miss Herrera? Mauutal?
Masasaktan kaya siya?
Wait, deserve ba niya?
Maybe Kairi would let her stand there for a while. Let the silence stretch. Let her wonder if she had really been forgotten.
Siguro magpapanggap siyang may pupuntahan pa siya.
Maybe lalampasan niya lang siya.
Maybe she'd even sigh na parang inconvenience lang ang pagkikita nila.
Or maybe she'd say something cold. Something perfectly calm and polite. Iyong harmless pakinggan pero alam niyang tatama.
Or maybe maglalakad siya palayo just to see if hahabulin siya ni Miss Herrera.
Susunod kaya siya? Tatawagin ang pangalan niya? Hihingi ng tawad? Would she finally explain?
Would she look the way she did the last time Kairi saw her, like she was breaking apart while pretending she wasn't?
Would she reach for her arm again?
Kairi pictured the whole thing unfolding in her head like some dramatic scene that would finally make sense of everything.
The confrontation. The questions. The moment Miss Herrera would realize she couldn't just walk away without consequences.
A few seconds passed. Then suddenly—
Kairi huffed out a quiet laugh.
The sound felt strange in the still room.
She lifted a hand and wiped the tear from her temple.
"That's ridiculous," bulong niya sa sarili.
As if naman bigla na lang magpapakita si Miss Herrera.
As if magpapakita siya sa kung saan lang para lang magkausap sila ni Kairi.
Miss Herrera had made sure there was nothing left behind. No explanation. No goodbye. Walang kahit anong bakas.
Kairi exhaled slowly and covered her eyes with her forearm.
Her ridiculous revenge plan, apparently, required Miss Herrera to exist in the same world as her first.
But if—
A soft knock pulled her out of her thoughts.
"Kai?"
Boses ni Zoe, galing sa labas ng pinto.
Bahagyang ibinaba ni Kairi ang braso niya mula sa mata niya. "Yeah?"
"Okay ka lang ba?" mahinang tanong ni Zoe. "Do you need help unpacking or something?"
Nakatitig lang si Kairi sa kisame.
"I'm okay."
May sandaling katahimikan sa labas.
"Pwede ba kaming pumasok?" Zoe asked.
Kairi shifted slightly on the bed.
"Yeah. You can."
Bumukas ang pinto and Zoe stepped in first with Maya right behind her.
Isang tingin lang nila kay Kairi na nakahiga, nagkatinginan na sila.
Without asking, Zoe walked over and climbed onto the bed. Sumunod naman si Maya.
Lumubog ulit ang kama habang nagsisiksikan sila sa tabi ni Kairi. All three of them lying there shoulder to shoulder at halos hindi na kasya sa kama.
"Wow," sabi ni Maya habang inaayos ang sarili niya. "Hindi talaga pang-tatlo itong bed."
"Nakikisiksik kasi rito," Kairi murmured.
Ipinatong ni Zoe ang ulo niya malapit sa braso ni Kairi.
Ilang segundo rin silang tahimik. Then, mahinang nagtanong si Zoe. "You're thinking about her again, aren't you?"
Kairi didn't answer immediately. Her eyes stayed on the ceiling.
"Yeah..." pag-amin niya.
Maya turned her head toward her. "Does it hurt today or...thoughts lang?"
Sandaling nag-isip si Kairi.
"Both," tapat niyang sagot.
Zoe nodded slightly.
For a moment none of them spoke. The music from the living room continued faintly in the background.
Then Maya nudged Kairi lightly with her shoulder.
"You know," she started. "Itong paglipat natin dito sa apartment was supposed to distract you."
Kairi gave a small smile.
"Well, it did."
Inunat ni Zoe ang mga paa niya at natamaan si Maya.
"You're doing better though," she said gently. "Compared to before."
Mahinang napabuntong-hininga si Kairi.
"Yeah," sagot niya. Then after a second, "Some days are just like this."
Tumango ulit si Zoe.
"That's okay."
Maya sighed dramatically.
"Well," she said, staring at the ceiling with them. "If she ever shows up again, nandito kami to witness whatever dramatic confrontation you've been planning."
Mahinang napatawa si Kairi. "I had a whole revenge plan earlier."
"Oh?" Zoe said, amused. "Let's hear it."
Kairi shook her head. "It was stupid."
Maya grinned. "We still want to hear it."
"Maybe someday," sagot ni Kairi.
Hindi na nangulit pa ang dalawa at nanatili lang silang tatlo doon, squeezed together on the bed while staring up at the unfamiliar ceiling.