41. Haven
Chapter 41
Haven
Kai might as well be choking me again. With his heavy body crushing mine, I can barely get air into my lungs. But I still keep trying to draw in shallow breath after shallow breath.
Not for long.
I’m losing my grip, and I can’t think of a single fucking reason not to let go.
I’ve wanted to many, many times before.
I wouldn’t be alive if Kai hadn’t found me. Befriended me.
And now he’s trying to destroy me.
What happened to that kid who’d risked his life to save mine? Who’d teased me about not wearing a bra? And then stopped when he realized I couldn’t afford one?
He could have let me drown that day when the river swept me away. God knows he should have. I’d told him how many times I wanted to die. But he held on when he could have let go. And then I held on, because I didn’t want to let him go.
I want to let go now.
I’m silently begging him to take the knife digging into my side and bury it between my ribs. To pierce my thumping heart and make the guilt go away.
The sadness. The pain.
He’ll do it. I know he will.
Something has pushed Kai even further into the dark.
I can see it in his eyes, the way he studies me for the smallest trace of pain. Any bruise he can press on, just to see how much it hurts.
But maybe he doesn’t find any, because instead, he cuts me with the knife.
It pierces my skin, just above my rib.
A sharp sting. Then a savage, pulsing ache.
There’s a fascinated gleam in his eyes when I scream into his hand, then he drops his head and sucks my nipple into his mouth. I grasp his hair, trying to pull him away, more concerned with the lips on my breast than the knife tip digging into my side.
He growls as I yank at his hair, his neck taut as I wrench him off me, his lips twisted in a snarl. His chest presses against mine as he breathes, then his gaze slides down to my mouth.
He’d have kissed me then. I can feel it, just like I can feel how hard he is between my legs.
And I want him to. I want to taste the lingering sweetness of whatever sucker he’d been working on through the meeting.
Is raspberry still his favorite?
There’s a clatter outside the door. Kai jerks in surprise at the sound and then rolls us under the bed. We come to a stop with him on top again, the knife against my throat, his hand so tight over my mouth that I can taste his skin.
“…get a new one,” Melissa says as she walks into our room. “Just snapped right off. Haven?”
I stare at the pair of pink bunny slippers a few feet away, my entire body shivering.
All it would take was one good scream.
And then what? She sees me under the bed with Kai? What if he attacks her? And even if he doesn’t, I’m practically naked. I can say what I want, I know the repercussions will be mild.
But my dignity?
Non-existent.
They’ll just shove all my stuff back in that Land Rover and send me packing.
No one needs my kind of drama in their lives.
My gaze darts back to Kai. He’s staring at me, eyes heavy-lidded, a bemused smile on his mouth, like he can’t believe I’m not kicking up a fuss.
I guess he’s come to the only conclusion there is.
I want this.
Because I’ve come to the only conclusion there is.
If I want Kai, then this is only way I’ll get him.
Silently, quietly, so fucking carefully, he takes his hand off my mouth. Waiting to see if I’ll scream.
But I don’t.
So he slides a hand between our bodies. When I tense, he purses his lips like he’s telling me to hush. The knife presses just that much harder against my throat.
Gonna take a lot of makeup to cover that mark.
Melissa’s phone beeps, and my entire body jolts in surprise. She sighs, her bunny slippers flopping over the carpet, her bed letting out a little squeak as she falls down on it.
“What?” she snaps. “Yes, dipshit, I got your messages. All hundred-and-nine of them.”
I squirm as Kai’s hand reaches the hem of my underwear. There’s barely any light down here. Just enough for me to make out the vague contours of his face. A gleam in his eyes. And how he slowly shakes his head.
Fuck him.
I shove my hand between us, capturing his wrist. Trying to stop the descent of his fingers.
“This is harassment,” Melissa says.
I one-hundred percent agree. My nails bite into Kai’s wrists hard enough to make him hiss.
Melissa’s bunny slippers slap down beside the bed. “Haven?”
Maybe Kai doesn’t care if he’s discovered anymore. Why else would he drag his hand down between my legs and push aside my underwear so he can slip a finger inside me when it’s obvious Melissa heard us.
Her bunny slippers flip flop their way to the door.
Kai uses the noise as cover to put his head next to mine and whisper, “Why is your little cum bucket so wet, Heavenly? This slutty pussy can’t wait to get fucked again, can it?”
“Stop, Kai. Please, stop.”
His reply is a soft, menacing chuckle in my ear as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of me.
“Keep messaging me like this, and I’m going to the dean,” Melissa says, closing the bedroom door before storming back across the floor. “I mean it.”
Her bed complains as she throws herself on it again. “Of course I don’t miss you. You’re a fucking freak. And not in a good way. Yes, there’s a good way.”
I’m still holding onto his wrist, but it’s not doing anything to stop him. So I reach up and grab the hand holding the knife.
Kai freezes like someone hit him with liquid nitrogen. Then he lets out the smallest, softest little sound I’ve ever heard anyone make. He takes his finger out of me and seizes my wrist.
Now we’ve both got a hold of the knife, our arms shaking as we try to get it out of each other’s grip.
And my fucking throat is like a quarter inch away.
“P-Please,” I pant quietly. “Stop.”
Melissa laughs. “That thing you used to do? That was fucked up.” She laughs again, and Kai takes one hand off the knife.
I guess my new roommate doesn’t hear the rasp of his zipper over her own laughing.
I do.
I hear it. I feel it.
With my underwear back in place, I can feel how wet the fabric is. It says a lot that this is how turned on I get when a guy just lies on top of me for a while.
But it’s not just any guy.
It’s Kai.
And ever since my body knew what lust was, it switches on around him like a fucking lightbulb.
I inch the knife away from my throat while he’s busy dragging his cock out of his jeans. But he presses it right back again as soon as he’s free, letting that hard dick slap down on my belly with the finality of a guillotine.
“I don’t want to try again,” Melissa says quietly. “I’ve moved on. You should, too. Not as if you liked me, anyway.”
It’s useless fighting over the knife. Kai has more strength in one arm than I have in two.
Same can’t be said for his dick.
The sound he makes when I grab it will live rent free in my head for all eternity. A quiet, pained groan vibrating against my ribs. Like I’m sinking his knife hilt-deep into his gut.
His hand wraps around mine.
Warm. Strong. Trembling.
“Yeah?” Melissa murmurs from the bed. “You liked it when I did that?”
There’s this moment where both me and Kai just stop.
Stop moving, stop breathing.
I guess we both realize Melissa’s moments away from having phone sex with whoever the hell is on the other end of that call.
Doesn’t seem to bother Kai.
He drags his hips down, taking my hand with him. And then he pushes up between my legs, the head of his cock nudging against my underwear.
Like I’d make this easy for him, the sick fuck.
I huff out a breath, and he nudges my cheek with his, like he’s telling me to shut the fuck up and take this dick like a good girl.
Melissa giggles. “I kinda liked that too…”
Oh God.
I refuse to let go of him.
And he’s not giving up.
But I guess he gets tired of banging his dick against the wall, because he angles up, sliding over the top of my underwear instead.
And my clit.
With my underwear so wet, it’s like I’m not wearing anything at all.
His hard shaft drags over my already sensitive clit, leaving urgent tingles in its wake.
“Yeah? You want it?”
What if I just pulled my underwear aside and let him fuck me?
How bad could it be?
How much could it really hurt?
“Mmm, yeah. Tell me what it feels like.” Clothing rustles on the other side of the room, but it’s all background noise to the ringing in my ears. The sound of my breath mingling with Kai’s as he uses the grip on my hand to rub his dick back and forth over my clit.
I squirm, but I don’t know if it’s to get away from him, or to try to push him harder against that impossibly sensitive nub. I’m so fucking wet, and my pussy keeps clenching, spilling even more wet heat out of me.
When Kai’s hips move up, his fingers bump against my pussy, sending a jolt through my body. And he keeps doing it. Like he’s imagining pounding into me.
Being inside me.
Filling me and stretching me.
My breath hitches, and I bite down on my bottom lip as I struggle not to moan out loud.
I shouldn’t bother.
Melissa’s moaning loud enough to cover whatever sounds we make.
Kai puts his lips to my ear. “Open,” he rasps.
I grit my teeth. “Fuck you.”
“Jesus, you’re playing with fire.” He throttles my hand, forcing me to grip him harder, to drag his cock against my clit at a punishing pressure that’s sending me spiraling to a climax.
My hips buck, and I can’t control them anymore than I can control him.
When he bites my earlobe, a fierce shock tears through me. I pant, letting go of the knife, fumbling between us for my underwear.
I need him inside me. Like right fucking now.
And from the way his breathing picks up, how the hand holding mine holding his cock trembles, he wants it too.
So why the fuck, when I rip my underwear aside, does he pull back? Why does he hover there, an inch from me, so close I can feel his heat, and not fuck me?
“Do it,” I push through clenched teeth.
His staggered exhale coats the side of my neck. Then he presses his lips to my skin, so soft I can barely feel it.
A shudder races through me. I groan, turning my head, seeking his mouth with mine.
But he turns his head, and all I’m kissing is hair as he jerks off an inch from my pussy.
Urgent, violent tugs that end with his fingers thumping against my pussy. Each strike feels like a punch, and in seconds, I’m coming.
My back arches, my legs splaying wide as I lose all control. He just keeps going.
Thump.
Thump.
And then he groans, and his hot cum jets against my pussy, and my clit, and the side of my leg. He drags my hand off his cock, grabbing my pussy, smearing his cum all over me as my fingers try to dig through the carpet.
The base of his palm grinds against my clit, nearly sending me through the fucking roof.
“Not enough for you, slut?” he growls in my ear.
Two, maybe three of his fingers, who the fuck knows, spear into me, pushing his cum inside.
I don’t know if I’m trying to encourage him, or stop him, but I grab his cock and I squeeze.
He rewards me with a hissed, “Jesus,” and starts pumping into my hand with short, powerful bursts of his hips.
“Yeah, baby, don’t stop. I’m so close,” Melissa purrs by the bed.
I don’t want to think about what’s happening over there. I have too much to deal with over here.
Kai groans, his thrusting hips speeding up. He keeps pressure with his palm, starts circling my clit, then grinding it, so rough it hurts, so hard I clap a hand over my mouth when I come again so I don’t scream out loud.
He fucks me with his fingers as mercilessly, brutally, as he did by the tree only a few days ago.
I’m fucking wrecked. Body limp and unresponsive.
There’s no way he’s driving me to that precipice again.
But then he whispers, “Filthy liar,” and I come again.