Chapter 19 Noah
Noah
It’s bad the next night.
It’s really bad.
I know myself when I have a crush, and I’ve been trying to beat those feelings out of myself for months now, even when I was still falling for any girl who would look my way.
But this is worse.
I don’t know how to handle having any goddamn feeling toward Torin other than pure contempt, but… I let him inside.
I.
Let.
Him.
Inside.
“I’m talking to him tonight,” Torin tells me as we walk into Colossus Dining Hall the next evening at dinner.
“What?” I ask, trying to pull my thoughts back down to Earth. “Who?”
The fact that I’m walking into Colossus with Torin at all—like this, so casually, after he fucked me and slept in my goddamn bed last night—is sending my mind into a tailspin.
In the summer, Colossus does a barbecue cookout once every couple of weeks, and tonight’s the night. The tall back doors are currently swung wide open, smoke and steam rising from the outdoor grills as students line up to grab plates of food.
When Torin asked me to join him for dinner, I practically stammered at him.
I’ve been acting weird around him all day, ever since he woke up in my bed, kissed my forehead, and bounced out like a ball of energy to go for a swim.
“Him,” Torin says as he nods over toward a table near one of the corners. I spot Roman. “Roman’s been leaving us out of the loop on something, and I’m going to figure out what that is.”
“Okay. Sure.”
I’m too distracted by Torin right now as we walk outside and line up for food. He’s wearing this shirt I haven’t seen him in before, and there shouldn’t be anything special about a dark green T-shirt but for some reason, there is.
It’s tight enough on him that I can see the faint impression of his pecs and nipple ring through the thin cotton, and his biceps come out of the arms like they’re about to burst through.
His eyes are also stunning in the light of the sunset, and fuck, I’m so fucked, and I’ve never noticed any of these things about other men before in my goddamn life.
Chill the fuck out.
It’s typical that I would spend the night with someone and suddenly have my brain crosswire into crush-land, but having it happen with Torin Jensen is pure mental warfare.
I know it will go away.
I just have to act normal, which is apparently easier said than done.
We go down the line for food and get barbecue chicken, corn, and some veggies.
“This looks fucking delicious,” Torin says when we get near the end of the line.
“Oh, did you see the grilled peach and pineapple? I know you love pineapple,” I tell him. “Not that you, like, have to get it, I just thought… like, you know. You like it.”
Fuck, how many times can I say the word ‘like?’
Torin glances up at me and my chest aches again when his eyes do that thing where they’re looking right through me.
“Yes, Noah. I see the pineapple.”
Is he holding back a smile, or just judging me with the fury of 10,000 suns?
“Did you want me to grab some for you?” I ask.
“Yeah, and you can tie my shoes and hold my hand while I cross the street, too,” Torin says. “I can grab my own pineapple, babe. I’m just going to come back and get it after I finish the chicken.”
“Okay! Cool,” I say.
Way too overeager.
Did he call me babe? How the fuck do I usually act around Torin? Because I can’t remember.
We head back through the doors and find Roman sitting at his table alone.
Roman nods at us. “If it isn’t the Vancliff duo.”
“Don’t call him that,” I say as I sit down next to Roman and Torin takes the opposite side of the booth. “Is that side good, Torin? If the sun gets in your eyes we could swap.”
Torin scoots about one inch to the side and the sunset isn’t hitting his eyes at all anymore. “Look at that. Magic.”
I laugh a little too loudly and suddenly find myself wishing for a rewind button on this entire evening so far.
Luckily, Torin doesn’t begin the interrogation the moment we sit down, and I have time to enjoy my food.
Roman chats with me about an upcoming block party we’re planning for the three societies, and for a handful of blissful minutes, I can relax.
A few minutes later, a group of guys walk by and one of them accidentally bumps Torin’s shoulder with his tray.
A splash of water gets knocked out of the guy’s cup, hitting Torin’s arm.
“Shit. Sorry, man,” the guy says.
“Here,” I say, standing up immediately and grabbing a wad of napkins from the center of the table and reaching over to drag them across the water on his arm. “All good?”
Torin’s eyes are pinning me with a fierce gaze. “Yep. I’m fine.”
“Cool.”
I can’t read his expression, and suddenly I feel my cheeks heat as Torin stands up. “I’m going to go grab that grilled pineapple. I’ll be back.”
I bite back the instinct to offer to go get it for him, because holy shit, I’m even bothering myself at this point.
The moment Torin walks off back out to the grill area, Roman turns to me.
“You’re acting weird,” Roman says.
“No I’m not.”
“You’re acting very fucking weird.”
I pull in a long breath and put down my fork. “It’s just been a long week, okay?”
“This is how you act when you have a crush on a girl,” Roman says. “Did you get in a fight with Torin or something and now you’re over-apologizing?”
I furrow my brow, shaking my head. “No.”
Roman peers at me for a few moments and then suddenly a smile breaks out on his face.
He leans back, starting to laugh, which starts slowly and then gets louder.
Apparently Roman finds this to be the most hilarious thing in the world, because I’m not sure I’ve ever seen him laughing so hard at anything.
“Sorry,” he says between laughs, wiping at his eye. “I thought of you and Torin like an old, married couple for a second and that’s making me lose it.”
“The fuck, Roman?” I protest.
He laughs again. “I know you’re not gay, chill out. Sorry. It was just a funny image.”
Real goddamn hilarious.
A sudden streak of irritation runs through me, and I can’t really control it.
“I’m not straight, either, but thanks.”
His face morphs into confusion. “No? You always said you’d be in threesomes with dudes but didn’t interact with them.”
“Well, maybe I’ve changed my mind.”
Roman shrugs. “Nice. Glad to hear. I don’t give a fuck, but still. Glad you’re trying new things, buddy.”
The idea of telling him who I’m trying new things with is apparently so ridiculous that it would make him cry tears of laughter, but he’s never going to have that information in the first place.
“So,” Torin says when he gets back to the table, staring at Roman. “Where did you go last night?”
Roman’s still wiping at his eyes from laughing. “You asking me?”
“I am asking you,” Torin says, and I can see that he’s pointing his fucking death-glare daggers right at Roman right now. “Where did you go last night after poker?”
Roman settles down really quick.
It’s strange to be a witness to Torin’s wrath from the outside rather than being the target of it.
I know exactly how it feels to be on the receiving end of that fury.
“I had some things I needed to take care of,” Roman says, leaning back on the booth. “Where did you go?”
“Upstairs.”
Roman nods. “I went upstairs, too.”
“But before that, you left the house, through the front door, on Red Row. I saw you from my window, so save yourself time trying to deny it. Where did you go?”
Roman’s laughter is completely gone now.
He holds Torin’s gaze firmly.
“What’s it to you?”
“It’s a lot to me,” Torin explains calmly, pausing to take a bite of pineapple. “I’m not sure if you’ve forgotten that we have a certain member of Onyx Society who is very much in danger right now, Roman.”
Roman’s expression is blank.
Terrifyingly so.
“Pretty sure I remember that. But thank you, Torin.”
“So what the fuck are you doing about it?” Torin asks him, leaning forward over the table.
His words hang in the air for a moment and I’m almost worried Roman might pull out a gun and point it at Torin right here in the middle of Colossus.
But he just looks away, then after a few beats, looks back at Torin.
“Fuck you, Jensen.”
“I know you don’t give a shit about protecting Noah,” Torin says, his voice pure venom and his eyes glinting.
I’ve never seen anyone speak to Roman that way.
Nobody in Onyx Society or the other houses has ever dared to press him like this, and it’s just an unspoken rule that nobody breaks.
“You should shut your mouth,” Roman says quietly.
He raises his eyebrows just a little, and I know I’m standing on an active volcano that could erupt at any moment.
Torin is relentless, though. “You want him as your fucking buddy, or sidekick, but when push actually comes to shove, you don’t make any progress in finding who those kidnappers are—”
“You don’t have a clue what I am doing for that.”
Torin’s eyes go wide. “That’s why I’m asking you, Roman. So talk.”
“Guys, please,” I finally say, wishing I could disappear through the bottom of the booth seat.
“The Maletti family is… stupid,” Roman starts to say, his eyes still pinned on Torin. “They are vicious, but they are not clever. Last night, I needed to go make an attempt to exploit that weakness.”
Holy fuck.
He’s actually talking.
Torin just keeps staring at him, his expression unchanged.
“Maks received information that the younger Maletti boy was going to be meeting with a contact at a bar, and I needed to be there.”
“What bar?” Torin asks.
“One far from here.”
“Far from here, yet you walked there on foot?”
Roman exhales, shaking his head. “No, I did not. Maks was parked on the opposite side of campus, because I’m not a fucking fool who would be picked up at my home. Do you understand?”
“Perfectly.”
“Maks and I drove there and waited. Waited, and waited. If the younger Maletti showed his face walking into that bar, we could have gotten information from him.”
“You were going to torture someone last night?”