Prologue #2
His grip tightened; I rolled my eyes as hurt seeped into my heart.
It was a feeling that I got tired of experiencing with Ramsey.
His favorite excuse for not making me his number one priority was ‘shit got complicated’.
Ramsey was fucking lying. I stood in his arms trying to rid myself of my alarming intuition.
Truth is, he must have been with a bitch.
I hated when those type of accusations popped into my head because eventually, I started to believe them.
I turned around slowly and leaned back against the sink as he gazed down at me. Ramsey’s dark eyes looked tired; his pupils still danced with adrenaline.
“What’s wrong?” He asked as he grabbed the bottom of my chin.
“Nothing, I just miss my dad,” I whispered.
“I miss the hell out of Casper,” I admitted.
“That nigga hated me.” Ramsey’s eyes flared.
“No, he feared what you could do to me. He hated the hurt that he assumed you’d give me.”
“So you think I’d hurt you, purposely?”
“Not with your hands…” My words trailed as I looked away.
Ramsey stepped back like I slapped the hell out of him.
I wanted to slap the fuck out of him. Intrusive thoughts about him being with a bitch was hard to keep out of my head right now.
Especially with him coming home close to two-o-clock in the morning.
Living without Casper meant I had to do something he always did for me… Protect my own heart.
I watched sadly as Ramsey ran a hand down his face. He released me and started to pace in front of me.
“I’m trying, baby. I swear I’m trying to be better for you. I got to get this money though. When shit gets complicated?—”
“I know you trying, but I need more than effort. I need peace and I want reassurance. I need to feel like I didn’t walk away from my father’s protection just to die in your chaos.”
“The fuck? Why you always mentioning that nigga in my house?”
“What?” I frowned, ready to go to war behind him disrespecting Casper to my face.
“Nothing, man; nothing. You ain’t tired, is you?” He smirked mischievously.
“No, why?” I sipped the rest of what was left in my cup.
“I’m trying to fuck you good, then take a drive down to the store to get some snacks to have after we smoke. You got me all weekend, baby. That’s why I stayed out so late hustling. A nigga just want to lay up with you until you gotta go back to work Monday.”
Ramsey closed the space between us by pulling me up against him.
He leaned down and tongued me down. Just that quick, all the intrusive thoughts left my mind as I wrapped my thick legs around him.
His hands cupped the bottom of my ass, my night gown bunched up around my waist. Ramsey lifted me onto the counter like my two hundred pounds meant nothing to him.
My thighs parted out of instinct once the coolness from the counter pressed against my ass.
My body ached for him before his lips crashed into mine.
His tongue tasted like cognac and weed, making me dizzy as I got lost in the kiss.
His hands gripped my hips with the same urgency that lived in his voice every time he said he loved me.
Ramsey pushed my gown above my titties then pulled his jeans along with his boxers halfway down his thighs.
Our breath tangled as he pushed inside of me.
He groaned my name against my lips. I held him tighter.
My legs anchored us both. I forgot about the silent war of the thoughts that was about to ruin this entire night for the both of us.
I forgot about missing my father along with all the other doubts that I had about Ramsey.
I was in love with him, we understood each other.
In the midst of him pulling halfway out of me, he halted when the sound of the front door exploding sounded off.
The sound of boots stormed through our tiny apartment.
I just knew it had to be the police. Ramsey jumped into action quick.
He pulled me off the counter with his free hand and pulled his pants up.
Ramsey eyed his Glock that sat on the kitchen island and moved to get to it, but it was too late.
At least five men dressed in all black, masked up with their guns drawn, stormed into our kitchen.
“Don’t fuckin’ move!” One screamed.
I froze, half naked, and trembling. Confused as hell, Ramsey positioned himself in front of me. The tallest man with broad shoulders and black gloves, stepped forward. His voice was deep and distorted under the ski mask.
“You think you the next head nigga in charge over Compton?” He sneered as the man cocked his gun to the side.
“Nigga stepping in territory that don’t belong to you?”
Ramsey didn’t say a word. I could hear his uneven breathing in front of me.
“I-I’m pretty sure this is a mis?—”
“Shut up, bitch! I’ll have all of my men bend yo lil thick ass over and run the longest train known to mankind on yo ass,” he stated as the men behind him snickered.
“Get down on your knees, boss man,” he ordered, taking one step closer.
“Ramsey,” I whispered.
Ramsey turned his head slightly, eyes meeting mine. Something passed between us, it felt too final and fragile. His deep-set eyes held sadness and regret. It looked like he wanted to say more but couldn’t find the words. Ramsey blinked his eyes, and just like that, his orbs was void of any emotion.
He dropped to his knees and kept his chin up as he faced the men in front of us.
“Any last words, bitch nigga?” The masked man asked.
“I love you forever, Yere?—”
Pop! Pop! Pop!
My scream never made it out of my throat as Ramsey’s body hit the floor hard, face first. I watched him twitch, seconds later there was no movement.
My knees gave out beneath me. I collapsed, reaching out to him.
The masked men swarmed around us like vultures.
I could hear them pull open drawers, they let glass hit the tile floor.
“Snatch that bitch chain,” the tall one barked.
“And the earrings too! That’s Casper’s daughter, this bitch ass nigga thought he was doing it up big with her hoe ass. Anything y’all see shiny on that bitch, take it,” he ordered.
I tried to curl up but it was too late, they moved in and ripped the diamond necklace that Casper gave me on my twenty-first birthday.
The chain sliced my skin with the clasp, my ears burned as they yanked the stud out.
Real diamonds, baby girl; too grown for any lil girl…
but just right for the future Queen. Casper’s voice echoed in my mind.
I didn’t move, didn’t have it in me to fight when all odds were against me.
Compton niggas was different from L.A niggas.
I wasn’t even supposed to be here in the first place.
I didn’t know how deep Ramsey was in the streets of Compton.
I knew that most niggas feared him and that he was well respected.
I tried to force myself to breathe through the storm of reality locked inside of me.
The men left the way they came, fast and full of power. Minutes later, I was still on the kitchen floor. I gathered the strength to crawl through Ramsey’s blood. I whispered his name over and over like it was enough to bring him back.
“Ramsey, baby, please. Pleaseee don’t do this.”
His eyes were open, lifeless; his mouth slightly parted like he had one more word left in him.
I pressed my hand to his chest and waited to feel his heartbeat.
In disbelief, I sat down. I maneuvered Ramsey until his head lay in my lap.
I cradled him and rocked him back and forth in my arms as I stared into his eyes.
The cops busted in with guns raised, followed by loud ass orders.
All I could do was cry silently. I asked myself over and over, how would I ever overcome any of this?
Ramsey wasn’t perfect, but he was my first love. The first man that I gave my body to. There was so much that we were supposed to do together. He was my forever, and in seconds, he became my end.