2. Yeremy
Yeremy
T he grass was still damp from the morning dew; it soaked through my jeans as I dropped to my knees in front of Ramsey’s headstone.
I felt bad that I didn’t bring any balloons or flowers for his birthday.
I tossed and turned and couldn’t sleep last night thinking about what me and my man could have been doing. Ramsey’s funeral was a hot mess.
I was surprised Casper came for support along with my mom.
I felt embarrassed from the amount of hood rats that showed up to Ramsey’s funeral.
With Casper and his men being in attendance, none of them hoes said anything to me out of line.
Their cries crushed me though. Some of them cried harder than me, like they laid up with my man every night.
I always had a gut feeling that Ramsey had side pieces.
He covered his tracks well enough for me not to ever find out.
My mom always said that every man cheated. She also said that if a man never let his bullshit come home with him then it meant he loved you enough. I never got that because if I ever had evidence, I would have left Ramsey’s ass. I was too good of a woman to be played with.
My tears came soft at first, then heavy. Minutes later, I was doing the ugly cry. The kind that shook my ribs and made my throat raw.
“Why you leave me, Ramsey?” I whispered as my fingers dug into the grass.
My fingers brushed over the letters carved into his stone.
It said that he was a beloved son, protector, and the King of Compton.
There was no mention of me, no mention of us.
I knew it was because of his weird ass momma.
She blamed it all on me but didn’t hesitate to accept Casper’s payment for Ramsey’s expensive home going service.
I wouldn’t have been surprised if she also was the reason why all those hoes showed up to his funeral.
The clicking of heels on pavement halted my emotions.
“Damn, our nigga really gone, huh?” A voice called out behind me, laced with attitude.
I turned my head slowly as my breath caught up in my throat.
She stood a few feet away, right on the sacred grass of Compton Memorial Cemetery.
This bitch was dressed in red lingerie and a silk pink robe that blew in the wind like she was getting ready to shoot a damn music video.
She had on silver heels, a pink lace thong that showed through sheer ass fabric.
In her hands was heart shaped balloons with the words ‘RIP Daddy’ in cursive written with a sharpie marker.
My tears dried up instantly. I don’t know why she thought for a second to come up here on Ramsey’s birthday.
“You lost?” I asked, standing up slowly.
She smacked er lips, then cocked her hip. This chick was beautiful, I was never a hater. Her Hershey-colored skin, long slender legs and perky breasts made her look like a model compared to my short thick frame.
“Naw boo. I’m right where I need to be. I had to pay respects to my man on his birthday. The fuck?”
“Your who?” I blinked back my frustration.
She walked up, stopped right beside the headstone like she belonged there, then bent down to place her balloons down.
“I was his favorite, I’m surprised he ain’t tell you. Maybe you was too busy playin’ house and shit while he was slidin’ in mine.” She giggled.
My rage shot through me so fast, I almost blacked out.
I stepped forward, close enough to smell her cheap ass perfume.
“You wearing lingerie, lying on a dead man’s name. You bold as fuck. You think I won’t beat yo ass right here in front of Ramsey?” I squinted my eyes.
“Girl bye. Ramsey liked it nasty, and you was nothing but his uppity bitch that couldn’t take dick, that’s why he kept coming back to me! I gave him everything he wanted, so you should be thanking?—”
I don’t even remember swinging, I just remembered the sound of her head hitting the ground.
I was on her before she could react. I drilled her face until I felt my nails break off into the palm of my hand.
She tried to fight back, but I felt none of her hits.
Mentally, I was drowning in pain and anger.
“Say his muthafuckin’ name again, bitch!” I yelled.
I got up off of her and dragged her bony ass over to Ramsey’s headstone and thought about smashing it into it.
“Say it, hoe!” I let her hair go and kicked her in the face.
“Yeremy! Chill!” I heard my name being called.
I turned and saw my best friend Bianca running across the cemetery.
“You gone fuck around and catch a fuckin’ case out here, let’s go.” She yelled as she got closer.
Everything she said was right, but I couldn’t let this bold bitch off so easily.
I really wished Ramsey was here so I could beat his dog ass too.
Maybe this would help me heal and get over his ass since he was out here playing me like a sucker ass bitch.
I bent down and grabbed a handful of her cheap ass weave and socked her in the face until my knuckles cracked.
She grabbed at my wrists, trying her hardest to soften the blows. Bianca was behind me, her breathing was ragged as she kept telling me to let her go. Overwhelmed with emotion, I let the girl go. I collapsed until my ass hit the grass. My chest heaved up and down, and my throat burned.
“Bitch get yo hoe ass out of here and don’t come the fuck back. I’ll have you resting in piss with this nigga if you try to test me again.” I hissed out.
She didn’t say a word, she just cried softly as she mustered up the strength to get up and go.
Once she was out of sight, I dropped my head and sobbed loudly.
I felt Bianca behind me; she wrapped her arms around my shoulders then pulled me into her.
I looked down at my bloody fists and shook my head.
“That nigga really had me out here looking dumb as fuck.” I laughed in disbelief.
“Niggas is good for that shit. Look at both of my baby daddies, ain’t shit! They tricking on bitches before spending a dime on they sons.” Bianca sighed out.
“That bitch was funky too? It smelled like STD, gel, and love spell when I ran up on y’all,” Bianca stated seriously as she released my neck.
“You stupid as fuck.” I cackled out through my tears.
“I serious, shit. Come on, let me take you to Benita’s house,” Bianca offered.
“Nah, she been getting on my nerves. Plus, Casper been blowing my line down.” I smiled weakly.
I wanted my dad; my momma didn’t give a damn.
She was too busy having different niggas from around the way entertain her.
I still clocked in at the hospital on a daily after my grievance days was up.
The apartment that Ramsey and I had was in his name.
A week after his death, his big sister showed up with a spare key that I didn’t know she even had.
I could have beat her ass; instead, I chose to leave.
The way I saw it, that apartment wasn’t worth the fight.
Plus, I didn’t want to sleep in the same house them men ran up in.
I was sleeping on my momma’s couch since her guest bedroom was occupied with all of her hair equipment for her clients.
Benita house was always live with either her loud ass homegirls or a new nigga from around the way coming to lay up and eat free.
She didn’t console me once, all she asked was what did Casper have to say about it.
At least at my dad house, I would feel more secure and at peace in my own space until I figured out what was my next step. Casper was gone most of the time, and when he was home, he gave me my space.
“You know you can come crash at my spot, for however long you need to. I wouldn’t be crying over this nigga after today.” Bianca stood then held her hand out for me to grab.
“Come on, B. You sounding like Benita. Regardless of what it is now…Ramsey was my nigga; I was in love with him. That shit don’t go away overnight. Take me to Casper’s house.” I rolled my eyes before walking away.
I hated when people tried to tell me what to do with my feelings.
I handled things the best way I saw fit.
Bianca offering her home to me was a nice gesture.
She was money hungry and selfish in so many ways.
Her offering her place to me was her seeing the dollar signs that would come with it.
I loved my friend, but she had no structure with her kids.
They was bad as hell; Day Day, her youngest, son was almost two years old and liked to bite people randomly.
Her oldest daughter, Lee Lee, was five years old and acted like a teenager from watching YouTube all day.
I had Bianca drop me off to my car that was parked in front of Benita’s house and shot her a hundred dollars for gas.
Although she didn’t need a hundred, I was able to bless my friends since I had it to give.
I understood that it was hard out here. I would never see Bianca nor my other close friend Shardae struggle when I had a rich ass dad that spent money like there was no limit.