16. Yeremy
Yeremy
“ T hat peach looks like it has been through somethings.” Larae joked as I took a sip of my wine.
I eyed the terribly lopsided version of a peach on my canvas and giggled, because it definitely looked like a struggle painting.
“I told you that I’m not good at this.” I playfully rolled my eyes.
Larae leaned over toward me, his reading glasses slid down the bridge of his nose as he further inspected my painting.
“It’s alright, I guess it’s not that bad.” He smirked.
I covered my mouth to hide my laugh as I leaned into him.
I was thankful that he planned this for us tonight.
He told me that he wanted to do something together that I had on my bucket list. Since Bianca and Shardae was always busy, I told him that I always wanted to do a sip and paint.
He made it happen along with dinner that he cooked.
I looked down at his perfectly ironed shirt that had splashes of paint against his Ralph Lauren Tee.
It was definitely the thought and consideration that he put into this that counted.
I thought to myself. Larae hadn’t pressed me for any pussy, and we had been talking for a full month.
He was very thoughtful and nerdy in an endearing way.
They only thing that was hard for me to do was connect with him.
I was giving it my all because he really was a sweet guy.
I inhaled his expensive cologne then looked up at his green eyes.
Casper would love if I made it work with Larae.
He respected his profession, and I enjoyed having chairs pulled out for me before taking a seat.
As we talked, I kept telling myself in my head that I was happy, and lucky to be here with Larae until my phone buzzed in my pocket.
My heart dipped because I already knew who the hell it was.
Sol…
I slowly pulled my phone out and shook my head.
“Who is that?” Larae asked.
“My overbearing Uncle.” I hit decline on the call, annoyed that Sol was bugging me.
Sol had been texting me since I got to Larae’s house, asking for me to come see him.
I’ll admit, I missed him but decided when I found myself frustrated waiting on his call the day after he took me shopping, that it was best to end it.
Sol was the type of nigga that made it hard to cut off cold turkey.
My body craved him, I wanted him even with the dangers that came with getting him.
I mentally tried to block him out and focus on getting to know Larae. Weeks later, I’m here with Larae, trying to enjoy my time and here he comes texting and calling, expecting me to drop everything for his sadistic ass.
“You and your uncle are very close. That’s good,” Larae stated.
He moved my hair behind my shoulder then leaned down and kissed the top of my nose which surprised the hell out of me. Maybe the wine was getting to him, but I liked the initiative he took. My phone vibrated again and this time I chose to ignore it.
“Him and my dad are alike in many ways. They’re both overbearing.” I chuckled nervously, my stomach turned as I felt my phone vibrate back-to-back.
“I think that’s a good thing.” Larae rested his hand on my thigh. His hand slowly started rubbing in circles.
“You’re a beautiful, bright woman. They just want the best for you, I see nothing wrong with that. I look at my daughter and get scared when I think ahead in the future.”
“What scares you?” I asked.
“Her becoming an adult. The world that we live in is cruel, you can be here today then gone tomorrow. I just want the best for her. I want to see her happy, although I know that she will have to learn different life lessons on her own. I don’t know, Yeremy…
it’s so much to it. I will have one day come second to a man in her life as well and have to accept it.
” He shrugged and looked away, never taking his hand off of my thigh.
I felt like shit lying to Larae about Sol being my uncle.
We weren’t committed so, really there was no need to make up such a lie like that.
I didn’t want to hurt his feelings for a man that wasn’t even as gentle as he was with me.
Wasn’t shit sweet about Sol, he didn’t ask many questions or even give me flowers.
Besides spending the day with him and letting him buy me whatever wasn’t sufficient enough.
Especially when I could spoil myself and buy all of those things on my own.
I pressed the side button on my phone discreetly and hoped that it turned the hell off. Fuck Sol! I tried to convince myself as I looked deeply into Larae’s eyes.
“I guess that’s how my dad saw things with me growing up. I love him so much, nobody could take his place. I try to be understanding to all of his madness because we only get one dad and one mom.” I sighed.
We continued to talk and paint together.
I laughed at some of his dry jokes and stop thinking about Sol for a change.
That was a hard task when I could somehow still feel him.
His voice, his hands, and the way he told me I belonged to him with nothing but a look.
Sol’s presence swallowed the air around me, leaving me breathless.
He made it hard for me to focus, and I hated that I missed him.
I hated that every part of my body still remembered the way he made me feel.
Larae probably couldn’t replicate it. I never felt so sex crazed before but my hormones were raging.
I looked at Larae and watched him paint.
I needed to prove to myself that I could choose something better, some one better.
Now it was the wine buzzing through me that gave me the courage for the next set of words that left my mouth.
“Do you want to rinse off the paint? We can take a quick shower together,” I asked with a coy smile.
He blinked at me, caught off guard then smiled nervously.
“Uh…yeah…that’s a good idea,” he answered.
I could tell by the flush in his face the he wasn’t used to women making the first move. He stood then helped me to my feet and led the way. I followed Larae down the hall. I saw that he kept tugging at his shirt, probably trying not to overthink what I just offered for us to do.
I’m doing this shit for me. I need to reclaim control and drown this nigga Sol out of my body.
It probably was stupid, but at the end of the day, I was a grown, single woman.
Inside of the bathroom, Larae took off his shirt.
My mouth watered at the sight of his toned but slim chest. I undid the button to my jeans and pulled them down.
My eyes never left his as he stepped out of his boxers.
I froze up and tried to play the shit off.
It wasn’t because I was shy or nervous. My eyes fell to his boxers, and there was no fucking print.
I blinked once then twice then reminded myself not to react.
I needed to be mature about the situation so that I wouldn’t hurt Larae’s feelings.
Size shouldn’t have mattered, I needed to work on a connection and everything else would follow. Still, disappointment crept up on me.
I turned before he looked up at me so that he wouldn’t notice. I heard the shower door open and turned back toward him, catching him stepping inside.
“You coming in?” he asked nervously.
I hesitated and cursed myself, because this wasn’t what I was looking for.
It sure as hell wasn’t what I needed. I didn’t need gentle hands and softness to help me stop thinking of Sol.
I needed a nigga with a strong back bone attached to him to at least beat the Sol temptation out of me.
Larae was everything I should want. Everything my father would clap for and get off my back to let me breathe and live life.
But in the moment, I stood still, thinking about Sol’s grip on my throat and him hitting every hidden spot that drove me wild.
“Yeremy?” He called out to me.
“I’m coming, my bad. I need a shower cap for my hair, I didn’t bring a scarf.” I cringed, thinking about stepping in the shower with Larae now ruining the fresh press I gave my thick crop of hair before coming.
“I have some small ones that I use for my daughter in the cabinet. See if one fits you,” he offered.
I hesitated for a second, hating that excuse of not wanting to mess up my hair didn’t work.
I walked over to the sink and opened the cabinet and spotted the shower caps.
I took one out and gathered my hair together and managed to fit it all in.
I looked back at Larae, who watched me intently.
I smiled at him then finished removing the rest of my clothes.
Once I stepped into the steam, I took in his wide all glass shower door and matte black tiled flooring.
It was clean and nice as hell. Larae smiled nervously under the water.
His light brown skin glistened, he looked over at me like he couldn’t believe that I was inside of the shower with him.
Larae’s green eyes looked me up and down.
I could see the lust written in his eyes which told me that he liked what he saw.
I wanted to meet him there, wanted to match the lust that he had for me.
But the truth sat heavy in my gut. I took steps toward him with a soft smile on my face as the water rushed between us.
I forced myself to keep my eyes up at him.
I eyed his collarbone down to the beads of water that slid down his neck.
I turned to reach for the soap and towel.
“Turn around,” I told him gently.
“Huh?”
“Let me wash your back. Relax Larae, we both grown,” I reassured him.
He smiled then visibly relaxed as he turned. I lathered the towel then ran it over his back. When I finished his back, I stepped closer and made him turn around. I pressed my titties against his body, his eyes looked down into mine, wide and vulnerable.
“You nervous?” I asked.
His eyes flickered with shame as he dropped his shoulders.
“I am…I’m sorry, Yeremy. I don’t want to mess this up. I would like to take things as slow as possible. See if we are compatible first.”
I reached up and rubbed small circles on his shoulders.
“You’re not messing anything up, Larae. We don’t have to do anything sexual tonight. I like this, just being close and taking our time,” I told him.
I could see him relax at my words. He nodded his head and smiled as he picked up a clean washcloth and took the soap from out of my hands.
“Okay, that makes me feel good.” He sighed roughly.
“My daughter’s mother really broke my heart. I like you a lot but don’t want to hurt you. A small part of me still hopes that one day she would at least try to be a family for our daughter,” he stated shamefully.
If I was really into him, I would have cursed him out for trying to use me as the same replacement as I was trying to use him for with Sol.
Instead, I remained silent and let him wash me from head to toe.
He fondled parts of my body and that didn’t even arouse me.
He wasn’t what I craved sexually, and dating wise, he was soft as hell.
Besides his tiny little dick, I could imagine how his baby momma probably ran circles around him.
Larae didn’t even realize that he just admitted in so many ways to me that he was still in love with his baby momma, which was fine with me.
If he wanted friendship, then I could give him that and let it be what it was.
I wasn’t here to help him get over shit. He was a grown as man responsible for his own feelings like his small package below.