27. Yeremy
Yeremy
S hit! Don’t fuckin’ panic, Yeremy! I thought as my heels clicked against the restroom floor.
I tried to stand in front of the mirror but couldn’t even look at my worried reflection.
I wiped invisible sweat from my brows and ignored the way people stared at me inside of the restroom.
I saw Sol, my heart dropped down to my stomach.
I tried to play the shit cool but I started to freak the fuck out.
I felt him, all of him. My body reacted to him soon as I laid eyes on him when me and Shardae first got here.
Before his eyes could land on mine, I tried to act like I didn’t even see him at all.
I clutched the edge of the sink, there was two girls near the hand dryer whispering shit about how the Eastie niggas were paid and had been tossing money all night long for Sol’s brother Fatz.
They argued about who was getting at who, the shorter woman claimed Sol while the taller woman claimed Fatz.
I sighed and bowed my head in defeat. I thought after two months, I wouldn’t still want him.
I tried to hate him hard enough to stay far the hell away from him.
I spent plenty of days looking at his contact stored in my phone, wanting to call him.
I talked myself out of even wanting closure.
We never got into a real relationship so technically he didn’t owe me any type of explanation.
If anything, I owed him a reason why I cut him off the way that I did.
I told myself that his cocky ass already knew why.
I also felt like if he really wanted to find me he would.
Maybe I was just something that he wanted to conquer and be done with.
It took a cold ass nigga to kill your ex then end up fucking you.
Sol snatched my soul and made my body feel things that it had never felt before.
I hated how my heart sped up and my breath got caught in my throat like I belonged to him.
Like I was ever his, sixty-four nights of hearing his deep sexy voice in my head.
Now that I knew it was him that coldly killed Ramsey, I couldn’t forget the chill of his rage, how he pulled the trigger without hesitation.
I end up pressing my back against the wall, my breathing was shallow as hell.
“Get it together, Yeremy,” I whispered to myself.
Soon as the words left my mouth, the restroom doors creaked open.
I shut my eyes and opened them. The women surrounding me froze, their eyes were on Sol.
He stood tall, about six feet with a crisp fresh cut.
His goatee was perfectly edged up, he smirked at me and ran his hand over the waves in his head.
His Cuban link sat on his chest like royalty and glinted with each step he took toward me.
My stomach did somersaults the closer he got.
His dark eyes searched the bathroom then landed back on me.
I was the target; he had a look in his eyes that screamed how much in trouble I was in.
It all happened too fast for me to react.
His large hand wrapped around my throat, his cologne invaded all of my senses.
I melted from his touch; I hated the way my mind said no but my body said yes. He squeezed harder and didn’t say shit. His free hand reached underneath my dress, he yanked my panties to the side and skillfully slid his index finger up and down my wet slit.
“You still feel me, baby.” He chuckled then latched on to my bottom lip.
His tight grip on my throat loosened a bit as he stared into my eyes. I couldn’t speak, forgot to breathe as I got lost in his stare.
“You got me fucked up, ma.” He shook his head and removed his finger from my throbbing center.
Sol stepped back an inch, ignoring the wide eyes from the other women. His eyes ran over me slow, like he couldn’t believe that it was really me. His jaw clenched once and then softened.
“I didn’t know—” He looked away and swallowed down like it was painful for him to say his next set of words.
“A nigga ain’t know if I would ever see you again, ma. I was determined at first…but then…I told myself that you deserve a different kind of nigga. We ain’t on the same level, Yeremy. I figured that shit out, but I still want you…bad as fuck.” He closed the space between us.
“Talk to me, baby.” His rugged hand reached up and caressed the side of my face gently.
“I didn’t think you would be here, Sol.” I managed to get out.
I felt myself getting emotional but swallowed my emotions down.
“So if you knew…would it have stopped you from coming tonight?” He asked.
I looked away, that question was a trap. The truth was ugly because I knew deep down, I would have came if I knew he was here…just to see him…to be close and in his space.
“I don’t know what to do with you, Sol. You too much, I know you would hurt me and then?—”
“You don’t got to do shit with me, Ma. Just stop fucking running. Let a nigga in, all the way in.” He parted my thighs with his knee.
At that very moment, everything faded to just him and I. I didn’t hear the footsteps to the women walking in and out of the restroom. Nor did I hear their voices and what all they was saying. All I saw and heard was Sol.
“Y—you killed someone…right in front of me, Sol. Someone that I was once in love with.” I spoke so only he could hear me.
“Fuck him. I protected you,” he said with no hesitation, no apology, and no shame.
“That don’t make it less real.” I snapped.
“I still dream about it, it’s a fucking nightmare. You, the gun, how you looked so dark and evil. You don’t give a fuck.” I continued; my voice cracked as I stared up into his heartless eyes.
“I won’t ever give a fuck about some shit like that. I’d do it again, and I don’t apologize for it. You need to let it go and stop feeling anything for that bitch ass nigga. He resting in piss,” he spat out coldly.
My throat closed, it felt like my knees wanted to give in. I wanted to smack the arrogant smug look off of his face. I was so conflicted, turned on and in so much heat that I couldn’t even think straight enough to process the coldness of his words.
Sol reached up. I flinched then relaxed. I don’t know why I flinched, it made him shake his head in disbelief. He ran his fingers behind my ear as if he was tucking a piece of hair behind it. His fingers grazed my cheeks, sending a shiver down my spine.
“I want you the right way. I need you to understand that I am who I am. You…” He licked his lips then tucked them into his mouth. His gaze was intense.
“Yeremy… You the light, the only light that I want to keep even though I’m surrounded by a lot of darkness, baby.
I don’t want to taint you. I don’t need you to be no ride or die street bitch for me either.
I want you to be you, soft, delicate, and caring.
I love that shit about you. You not trying to be no hood bitch just because of who Casper is.
You wear your heart on your sleeve, just because I know that shit, I wouldn’t dare take advantage of that.
You the closest thing to being pure as fuck.
I know that because even though that bitch ass nigga Ramsey did you wrong…
I can see it in your eyes that you want to give love a second chance with me,” he said, this time his tone was genuine.
“Hoes come and go, I can already see all the questions you gone have for me…since I know you gone give me another chance.” He chuckled.
I rolled my eyes and bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling.
“I been smashing bitches in your absence. I only bust a fat ass nut with them when I would picture your face. You jealous just like I am when it comes to entertaining other people. You gone want it to stop and I’m telling you straight up that it will starting tonight.
You don’t want to make this shit easy either for me.
You want a nigga to work for it, to earn your trust. I know you want that mushy shit, real romance, and to be taken seriously.
I want that shit too, I like it and I need it. ” His deep voice went low.
My eyes burned; I looked up at the ceiling, not wanting to cry.
I covered my mouth with my hand then grabbed my throat.
It felt like my emotions was choking the life out of me.
No man had ever stepped to me in the way that Sol was.
He smoothly moved my hand away from my mouth and eyed me with concern.
“Why didn’t you just tell me everything, Sol?” I asked all choked up.
“You ain’t give me the chance to. You ran when I wanted you to stay.
We was just getting to know each other. I needed to figure a way to tell you without hurting you.
I never cared about hurting a person’s feelings, Yeremy.
Until you, real shit. I didn’t give a fuck in the beginning.
Thought I could fuck whatever this attraction that I had for you away.
The more time I spent with you made it hard.
You was forbidden, I wanted to respect that nigga Casper. I just couldn’t resist.”
He leaned in close, his lips smashed against mine. Soon as he pulled away a little, his forehead pressed against mine.
“Let’s fall hard for each other, take shit slow…we can do it your way, Ma.”
I gasped, not because of his words but how my body responded to him. That’s what terrified me the most. No matter how much I tried to dislike him and stay away from him. My soul yearned to be tied to his. I felt him always before I heard him.