Chapter Eighteen
“My lord, you must go after her!”
Kevin was at the gatehouse with Sean just as Alexander and Peter were mounting their steeds as William came running towards them, wide-eyed. Before Kevin could say a word, William shouted again.
“My lord, your wife!” he said. “She is running away, through the postern gate!”
Because William was clearly rattled, Kevin’s own panic began to rise. “What?” he gasped. “Running away? What are you –?”
“Hurry!” William pointed to the gatehouse. “If you hurry, you can intercept her as she comes down the pathway from the postern gate.”
“Postern gate?” he repeated. “What in the hell are you talking about, de Wolfe?”
William was pointing, back to the kitchen yard. “I am telling you that your wife is running away,” he said. “I do not know why – she left the keep screaming and ran towards the postern gate. I could not stop her. You must catch her!”
Kevin had no idea what was going on, but he knew that William’s sense of urgency was feeding his. Juliandra was running off, screaming, and Kevin was at a loss to understand any of it. Alexander and Peter were already mounted, but Peter leapt from his horse and shoved the reins at Kevin.
“Go,” he said. “Take my horse!”
Kevin vaulted onto the steed, barely noticing that Alexander was turning his horse over to Sean, who would surely want to go with his brother.
As the horses thundered out, they headed across the drawbridge, down the road and to the edge of the village.
The path for the postern gate, seldom used, came around the north side of the castle and ended up at the end of the village, so they spurred the horses in that direction just in time to see Juliandra running onto the road.
“Juliandra!” Kevin called after her. “Wait!”
She either didn’t hear him or was ignoring him.
In either case, she bolted across a grassy knoll with Kevin in pursuit and Sean right behind him.
They chased her into a field, finally cutting her off so she couldn’t run any further.
She was running in a panic, blindly, and Kevin was desperate to know what was wrong.
When she was sufficiently stopped, Kevin leapt from his horse.
“Juliandra!” he said, greatly concerned. “Sweetheart, what is the matter? Why are you running?”
Juliandra was weeping and gasping, and at the sound of Kevin’s question, she groaned so loudly that it became a scream.
“He’s dead!” she cried. “He’s dead! My father is dead!”
Kevin froze. That wasn’t what he had expected to hear and, suddenly, his worst nightmare came to life.
In that one, brief moment, everything he knew, everything he feared, was in front of his face and he had no idea how to react.
His mind went blank, every rational thought he’d ever had slipping away into oblivion.
He struggled to stay on an even keel.
“But… how…” he stammered. “How would you know this?”
“Because I found him!” she screamed. “I found him in your vault. Did you know, Kevin? Did you know he was there?”
She was gasping, panting, pacing in a circle, wanting to run but wanting answers at the same time.
Watching her turmoil, Kevin knew one thing – he couldn’t lie to her.
It was his lies that had caused this in the first place and he wasn’t going to make it worse.
She knew her father was dead, so he did the only thing he could do at that moment.
He threw himself on her mercy.
That lie, that horrible lie, was unraveling before his eyes.
“I am sorry,” he said, closing his eyes and suddenly pitching forward onto his knees as if all of his strength had abruptly left him. “Juliandra, I am so sorry. God forgive me for not telling you, but I cannot lie to you now. Aye, I knew he was there. I simply could not bring myself to tell you.”
Juliandra stopped pacing and looked at him, her eyes wide with horror. “You knew?”
“I did.”
Her face went from bright red to deathly pale. “How long have you known?”
“Since the day he tried to go around my toll booth.”
A cry of disbelief escaped her lips. “He has been dead all this time?”
“Aye.”
“And you let me believe that he was alive?” she gasped. “You knew that he… my God, you knew it all along?”
“I did. God forgive me, I did.”
She stared at him in disbelief and the tears, recently abated, returned with a vengeance. She screamed again, this time in rage as she realized what he’d done.
He’d lied to her.
“I thought you were different,” she said, openly weeping. “You were kind and decent and sweet… I thought you had heart and feelings. I could see it in you. I could feel it. But now I know it was all a lie. Everything you told me was a lie. I should never have trusted you!”
He was still on his knees, his head lowered because he couldn’t look at her. He started to speak but the words wouldn’t come. He started to choke on them and with a mighty roar, he ended up on his feet, bellowing like a madman.
Everything exploded.
“It’s true,” he boomed. “I lied because I needed your help and if I had told you the truth about your father, you would have blamed me for his death. I could not take that chance, so I lied and I have never regretted anything more in my entire life. Your father’s death was an accident, Juliandra.
When he was arrested by my soldiers, he fought with them so much that he fell off the horse and broke his neck.
It was simply an accident, but I knew you would not believe me.
I knew you would blame me. So, I lied to you. ”
The anguish on her face was unfathomable and, after a moment, she flew at him, slapping him across the face so hard that his head snapped sideways.
“You… you bastard!” she sobbed. “How could you do that? How could you keep that from me when you knew… God, you knew all along and you played me for a fool!”
Kevin knew he deserved the slap and so much more.
He looked at her, his eyes filled with turmoil.
“It was wrong of me,” he said hoarsely. “I am completely unworthy to be your husband, but I love you so much that I cannot put it into words. Now I cannot stand this pain in my heart because I can see in your eyes that you hate me. I wish I were the one lying dead in the vault now because I cannot go on without you. I cannot… I cannot do it.”
With that, he wandered away like a drunk man, his hands on his head, muttering to himself. Juliandra watched him go, so stunned that she couldn’t even speak.
But Sean could speak. He watched his brother go, tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. Slowly, he climbed off his horse, watching Kevin wander back across the field. He looked at Juliandra, who was watching Kevin meander aimlessly.
He could see the anguish in her face.
“My lady,” he said tightly. “I know you have not known Kevin for very long. I know that you do not know the man’s character like I do, but I will tell you this – there is no one on this earth more trustworthy or honest than my brother.
In spite of your words, he is not a deceiver.
The man has never lied in his life, but he lied to you because he needed you.
He made a decision, right or wrong, to protect his castle and his men because he needed information he thought you could provide.
Unfortunately, that decision involved deception, something that has been eating away at him since the day it happened.
Your father is dead and hating my brother will not bring him back.
What he did was wrong and he knows it, but do not make him pay for the rest of his life.
If you feel anything for him, and I know you do, then mayhap in time you can find it in your heart to understand and forgive.
He lied to a woman he had no idea he would fall in love with. ”
Juliandra’s gaze was still on Kevin. “But he let me believe… he let me think…”
Sean cut her off. “Aye, he did,” he said.
“But it was only because the more time passed, the more difficult it was to tell you. He backed himself into a corner and did not know how to get out of it. He loves you. Juliandra… I have been around the two of you for the past two days. I have seen what you mean to each other.”
A sob escaped her lips. “I… I thought we did. I was so happy. But it is all a lie.”
Sean shook his head. “Kevin’s love for you is not a lie, I promise. Nor is yours for him. You must have faith in that love.”
“I do not know if I can.”
“Let that love heal you both, Juliandra. Please.”
Juliandra blinked and the tears spilled over. As Sean watched, she mouthed his brother’s name, watching him as he continued to head back to Wybren. For a moment, he thought she might actually follow him. He thought she might call to him. But in the end, she couldn’t do it.
Sobbing, she turned away and headed back across the field.
Heartbroken for his brother, Sean made the decision to follow her simply to make sure she didn’t run into any trouble.
He followed her to a road on the other side of the field that headed north, and he listened to her sobs echo off the trees as she walked.
It was the worst thing he’d ever heard. She continued to walk, and he continued to follow at a respectful distance until they came to a small village.
By this time, Juliandra was exhausted and staggering, but she made her way to a large manse surrounded by a wall covered in thorny vines. Sean reined his horse to a halt, watching as the old iron gate opened for her and she went into the yard beyond.
Suspecting she was home, and safe for the moment, Sean remained a few minutes longer just to make sure.
Through the iron gate, he could see her standing inside the courtyard of the manse, wandering over to what looked like a small garden and sitting heavily on a stone bench.
He watched her put her face in her hands.
After that, there was nothing more he could do.
Turning the horse around, he headed back to Wybren.
He had a brother he needed to find.
*