Chapter Three
Ionian scale in Bb – Lyrics to The Sorrow Within
The colors of darkness shadow my world,
The memory of you now blurred with sorrow.
Would that I could hold you again I my arms,
But such things are shades of a ghostly past.
—Iseobeau de Shera de Wolfe, 15th c.
Tertius wasn’t surprised to find his sister’s chamber dark but for a fire in the hearth and a small taper upon the table where she sat.
As he entered the chamber, for the door was not locked, he could see pieces of parchment scattered all over the table and some pieces on the floor.
Scraps of discarded writings were everywhere.
Tertius remembered that before they had left for Towton, Titus had indulged his new wife’s passion for writing music and he had purchased quite a bit of expensive parchment from the parchmenter in the village outside of the castle walls.
The man, who was quite skilled at transforming animal skin into a writing surface, had given Titus a deal on imperfect parchment that was difficult for him to sell.
Therefore, Isobeau had more parchment than she probably knew what to do with but, knowing his sister, she would find a way to use it.
Isobeau was industrious and busy that way.
“Izzy?” Tertius asked hesitantly as he came into the room. “Duckling, what are you doing?”
Isobeau didn’t even look up from what she was doing. She was furiously scribbling something on an uneven piece of parchment by the dim light of the taper and her fingertips were stained black.
“I am glad you have returned safe, Tertius,” she said, sounding oddly detached. “Titus is dead, you know.”
Tertius paused next to her table, gazing down at his sister’s blond head. He sensed something very strange about her and it concerned him. “I know,” he said, his tone dull with grief. “What are you doing, Isobeau?”
She dipped her quill into the inkwell, tapped off the excess ink, and continued writing. Tertius could see that she was scribbling chords as well as words.
“I am writing a song,” she said. “I will sing it for Titus’ funeral. He loved my singing, you know. I think he would like it if I sang at his burial.”
Tertius understood a bit more now. He knew his sister well enough to know that she was a strong woman and, at the moment, she was trying to be very strong.
She was also expressing her grief perhaps the best way she knew how and that was to put it into song.
Since she had been a little girl, she had put everything into song.
Reaching out, he picked up a piece of parchment that was next to her hand, one that had evidently been tossed aside.
He held it up to the light to see what words were contained upon the carefully treated hide.
“The colors of darkness shadow my world,” he murmured, reading the dark and smeared letters. “The memory of you now blurred with sorrow. Iz, are you certain this is something you want to sing at your husband’s funeral mass? I am not entirely sure this is appropriate.”
Isobeau came to a halt, looking up at him with confusion and some unhappiness. “It is what I am feeling, Tertius,” she said. “Why is it not appropriate?”
Tertius was a bit more restrained than his passionate and young sister.
He had seen much in life as a warring knight whereas she had led a relatively sheltered one as a fine lady in an excellent house.
Although the de Sheras were still great battle lords, their home of Isenhall Castle had been spared anything major for the past twenty years.
Therefore, all Isobeau had known was peace.
With a sigh, he reached out to take an ink-stained hand and pulled her off her stool, away from the table and towards the hearth.
Isobeau went with him, reluctantly, and he set her down in a cushioned chair while he took the other, sitting wearily against the silk pillows.
His pale, shadowed face studied her against the firelight from the hearth.
“I am so sorry about Titus,” he said softly. “I know you were very fond of him as he was of you. Any mention of your name would set him to grinning, you know. He was anxious to return home to you. I am so very sorry he was not able to, at least not alive.”
Isobeau’s composure, a fragile thing, began to crack.
She shook her head and looked away from her brother.
“Please… do not speak of him, not now,” she begged softly.
“I have spent the past several hours attempting not to fall to pieces so I took to writing a song to Titus instead to distract myself. Atticus said that I had no right to feel grief for a man I had only known a matter of weeks. He said that he found my tears at Titus’ passing insulting, so I have stayed to my rooms in order to write a song to Titus to express how I feel.
But… but I am not strong enough to speak of him so please don’t. ”
Tertius’ expression tightened. “Atticus told you that?”
Isobeau nodded. “He did,” she said, marginally agitated in her restless movements, as if she didn’t know what to do with her hands or body.
Everything about her was on edge. “He came to tell me that upon his deathbed, Titus asked him to marry me and take care of me. I sent Atticus away; I do not want to marry the man. I cannot think on such things right now.”
Tertius knew his sister could be temperamental and even sharp at times; Atticus could be the same way.
He could only imagine how a conversation must have gone between them regarding the volatile subject of Titus’ death.
He cocked his head curiously. “You told Atticus that you did not wish to marry him?”
“I did.”
“How did he react?”
She shrugged, averting her gaze. “He was unpleasant and bitter,” she said.
“Tertius, after we return to Wolfe’s Lair to bury Titus, will you please take me home?
I want to return to Isenhall. I do not want to stay here in the north any longer.
I do not like it here. Without Titus, there is no reason to remain. ”
Tertius scratched his head, thinking on his sister’s request and realizing that he was somewhat irritated with it.
In fact, he was quite irritated with it.
“Are you truly so selfish, Iz?” he asked her.
“Look around you. Northumberland’s army has been badly defeated in a battle that turned decidedly against the king.
Henry Percy was killed alongside Titus, and alongside thousands of other men, and all you can think of is returning home to Isenhall because you do not wish to remain here any longer.
More than that, you have blatantly refused a marriage proposal from Atticus de Wolfe.
Do you understand that his brother made that request of him?
With his dying breath, Titus asked his brother to take care of you and you have refused that request?
What on earth is the matter with you that you would be so selfish and short-sighted? ”
By now, Isobeau was looking at her brother with a mixture of remorse and sorrow on her features. “How is that being selfish and short-sighted?” she wanted to know. “I do not wish to have another husband!”
“Your husband has made provisions for you,” Tertius pointed out hotly.
“The man thought only of you with his last breath and you have the bad manners to disobey him? Worse yet, you shut yourself up in this room while pain and devastation go on all around you and rather than lift a finger to help, you write songs to your dead husband. I am ashamed of you, Isobeau Adelaide de Shera.”
It wasn’t often that Tertius spoke firmly to her, or called her by her full name, but he was certainly doing it now.
The more he spoke, the more regretful and confused Isobeau became, mostly because he was making sense.
She trusted Tertius and he had always been good to her.
She respected his opinion. Therefore, his latest statements had her in utter confusion and despair.
“What would you have me do, then?” she asked, on the defensive. “I cannot do anything to ease the pain and devastation.”
Tertius abruptly stood up and grabbed her by the hand.
“Aye, you can,” he said. “You will go down to the great hall and you will tell the surgeon that you are there to help. The man has his hands full with the wounded and dying, and the least you can do is offer your services to comfort them. A kind word or a comforting touch will make a world of difference to those men who are suffering, Isobeau. Stop behaving like a selfish child and do something with yourself. Go help those in need.”
Isobeau frowned as he pulled her towards the door. “But I do not know anything about tending wounded,” she said. “I have never had a strong stomach for blood, Tertius, you know that. It is even worse now that….”
She stopped herself before she could say anymore.
She didn’t want Tertius to be the first one to hear of her pregnancy.
But the more she thought about it, there was really no one else to tell.
The only man she wanted to truly tell was dead.
It was like a stab to her gut to realize that Titus would never know his son.
It had been something she had tried not to think about because the mere hint of the recollection magnified her grief tenfold.
Muddled in thought, she wasn’t paying much attention to Tertius as he yanked open the chamber door.
“Now that what?” Tertius demanded, although his tone suggested he didn’t much care.
“Stop with your excuses, Izzy. Go down to the hall and help. There will be time for mourning Titus but locked away in your room like this… it is not a fitting way to honor his memory. Titus deserves a wife who will put aside her pain and show her strength by helping the men who fought at Titus’ side.
You are strong, little sister. I know, for I have seen it.
Go down into the hall and do your duty, as Lady de Wolfe. ”