Journal Entry 18
Zaskja Stormsson
My Wolf,
I’m hiding out in my bathing chamber to scribble my jumbled thoughts down on paper. I’m trying to make sense of everything.
TAERIC SKARNIR: dead
TYRON GUSTAFSON: hero
I can’t wrap my mind around the news that Odin’s last earthly son is dead and that Tyron, of all people, was the one to murder him.
It isn’t that I believe Tyron is weak, but I believed Taeric was stronger.
The other part that’s hard as Hel for me to trust is Tyron’s reason for killing the Vampyr King: to earn my forgiveness. The bastard tossed me into Havrik’s lap. Yes, it turned out for the best for you and me, but he couldn’t possibly have predicted it would lead to your ascension.
What does this all mean?
Am I free to exist without looking over my shoulder, or is Vaelen Blaka (as I write this) gathering an army to avenge his leader’s death? I’m hoping that if it’s the latter, Vaelen will go after Tyron since it isn’t my curse that ended up terminating Taeric’s life.
Speaking of whom… Have you seen his head yet? Is it truly him?
I wish that others besides Ulf and Nika’s father had seen Taeric without his hood and cowl, for I don’t know if I truly trust either man. Though perhaps Klovir Krosson is trustworthy? You know him better than I do. Is he, Nordin?
I feel like you left for the Vale Valley with Mor a century ago.
Vanoo has reminded me, with his usual easygoing smile, that it’s barely been an hour.
He hasn’t left my side, by the way. The girls haven’t either.
Still odd that Nika came, but she and Saga have grown close.
I should be happy for their friendship (since I live here now), but I’m not.
I wouldn’t say I’m jealous… All right, fine, I am. I’ve no right to be, but I’m really fucking jealous. I don’t like that Nika tried to take you and now has taken your sister. I don’t like how perfect she is and how well she fits in.
I feel petty putting this sentiment down on paper.
Am I petty, Nordin?
You chose me. Publicly. And not only once but twice! Why must I still feel insecure? Is it an age thing? Like, once I turn twenty-one, I’ll be confident? Or once we have children? In the whirlwind of it all, I forgot to share what Mor told me earlier.
Please don’t leave me in the dark for too long, my Wolf. It may feel like a new dawn to most, but until you’re home and I’m in your arms, it’ll feel like a moonless night.
With all the love in my heart,
Zas