Chapter 4 Noelle
FOUR
NOELLE
Privacy.
Brooks shows up at my house over the weekend and asks my roommates for privacy. Of course, they do what he asks; they’re starry-eyed over the first-round draft pick. We had exchanged a few texts, and he badgered me into giving him one hour when he got back into town from New Orleans.
The guys leave, shooting me a hopeful look over their shoulders as they walk out.
Leaning my butt against the couch with my arms crossed, not daring to look into his eyes, I say, “So, what do you have to say for yourself?”
His body nears mine, and the ache in my chest grows stronger. He slides his palms up my arms and back down, lulling me into his embrace. He pulls me to his chest, and I can’t help but cry.
“Shh… I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I’m so sorry.” His apology seems genuine. “Noelle, I was wrong and had too much to drink. I got caught up in the moment.”
“How many moments? Bree made it sound like you’ve slept with Tabby repeatedly,” I say.
He strokes my hair, pulls my head back, and peers into my eyes. “I made mistakes. I love you. Forgive me.”
‘But why would you… after we…?”
“I was drunk, but that’s not an excuse. I won’t ever do it again. Trust me.”
My mom used to say it takes more energy to hold a grudge than to forgive, so I nod, thinking that’s what she would expect of me.
Brooks leans in and pecks me on the lips. “Good. You’re all mine, Noelle.”
I don’t know why I can’t express what I’m feeling with Brooks. Why can’t I argue with him, kiss, and have makeup sex? I have heard it’s passionate, and maybe that’s what we’re missing.
“So… Hamlin is having a party tonight. Do you want to go?” Derek Hamlin is a linebacker on our team “This is probably the last time we’ll all be together.”
“Aren’t you coming back for graduation?” I ask.
“Yeah, but after I walk the stage, I’ll have to fly back out to New Orleans. Back-to-back meetings with my agent, a corporation for licensing rights, and then a realtor to look for my own place.”
Disappointed, I look down at my shoes. “So, you won’t be at my party?”
“No. I wish I could. I mean, do you want me to cancel with the shoe company?” he asks, lifting his brows.
“I wish the Armadillos would have drafted you.”
“Me too, but since they went to the championship game, they didn’t have the opportunity. My draft stock was way too high.” His voice is full of overconfidence and swagger.
Brooks’s phone rings, and he walks outside to talk on the front porch. He talks low, and I tiptoe into the kitchen to eavesdrop. I know that’s wrong, but even though I forgive him, it doesn’t mean I trust him. But everyone deserves a second chance, right?
“Hey, who was on the phone?”
He hems and haws. “Sorry, I’m sworn to secrecy.” Brooks laughs, but something isn’t right in his voice.
I sway up to him, slide my arms around his waist, and grab the hem of his shirt with my hands.
Maybe if I initiate sex, it will make him feel desired.
Maybe that’s what’s been wrong—neither of us has felt wanted so badly that we can’t wait another second for clothes to be strewn across the room.
But when I get to the point that he needs to raise his arms for me, he stops me.
“Don’t you want to have makeup sex?” I ask, my heart popping a few stitches that were holding it together.
“I do, but I only have a few hours to get the rest of my stuff packed, and I’m meeting Professor Reinhart to take my final exam.”
“Oh, okay. Should I meet you at the party?”
Brooks reaches for my hands, squeezing them. “Could you? Or I can pick you up, but it will make us both late.”
My shoulders fall just a bit, hoping we could ride together so I could show the catty girls that Brooks loves me. “I’ll just meet you there. I know you’re busy.”
He hugs me and kisses me on the cheek. “Great. I knew we could work this out.”
Walking into the party, the first person I see is Renee. “Hey, what are you doing here?”
“Brooks and I are back together.”
Her eyebrows practically reach her hairline. “Really?” Her eyes are as big as I’ve ever seen them.
“I know you think Brooks is too good for me. But we worked it out, and I’m giving him a second chance.”
She folds her lips over her teeth. It’s clear she doesn’t approve. “Second chance, right.”
“Renee, I’ve enjoyed cheering with you. When you’re not around Bree, you’re nice, but you’re a different person when you’re with her.”
Renee grabs my hand. “I don’t want him cheating on you.
My dad had a five-year affair with his coworker, and my mom kept believing him every time he said it was over.
It tore our family apart. Now I have to split myself in half because of their stupid mistakes.
You’re the one who’s too good for Brooks.
” Her voice trails off as Bree bounces in.
“Thanks, but just quit gossiping about Brooks and me.”
“Hey, who’s ready for Jell-O shots?” Bree screams with her hands raised, working hard to be the life of the party.
“None for me.”
Bree rolls her eyes and grabs Renee’s elbow, snatching her toward the kitchen. I walk around until I find Brooks and some of the team playing cornhole outside, so I find a seat next to one of the players.
“Ready for graduation?” I ask.
“I haven’t found a job yet, but my parents own a manufacturing company in Steele, Texas, so I guess I’ll work there until I do,” he says, like he’s disappointed in himself.
We all have these grand visions of what we’ll be when we grow up, and athletes expect to go pro. It’s what they’ve dreamed of their entire lives, so when reality hits that only a few go on to play professionally, they get depressed. Their world is turned upside down.
“I haven’t found a job either. I’m interviewing for a sports reporter position for a new start-up the week after graduation. I don’t know which sport, but if it’s football, then I think I’ll have a chance since my dad and brothers don’t shut up about it.”
“Don’t sell yourself short. Lots of women have families that love sports, but they don’t. You love competition. Sometimes I’d look over at the cheerleaders and none of the other women beamed like you.”
I smile, and my body feels warm. Is he flirting with me? No one has dared to in over a year. Everyone bows down to Brooks Pendleton.
“Yeah, I do love football—all sports. Even hockey. My brother Parker played college hockey, but now he’s doing football workouts for Baylor, Texas, and Texas A&M. And I would bet he chooses A&M because my brother J.D. hates them with a passion.”
“Even now?” he asks.
“Well, since he has players from A&M on his team, he teases them. But under it all, he’s a Longhorn.”
“But your brother Greyson didn’t follow him there. I guess we all need to make our own way, don’t we? Are you glad you came to this university and met Brooks?”
My tongue gets stuck in my throat, and I have a difficult time answering, so I just nod.
“You deserve better, and I’m pretty sure you already know it.” His chair scrapes against the concrete as he gets up. “He’s not who he says he is.”
His fingers graze my shoulder, and there is pity in his eyes.
When he leaves, another couple takes a seat next to me.
She sits on his lap, and they’re kissing and giggling, flirting and drinking.
The perfect couple, in my opinion. Being together should be easy, but with Brooks, it’s a freaking job.
I spend most of my time waiting for him.
When will he notice me? I’ve been here twenty minutes, and he hasn’t even winked my way, waved me over, or jogged over to kiss me and say hello.
Keely asks me, “Are you moving to New Orleans with Brooks?”
“No.” That’s when it hits me that Brooks and I never even discussed it after he was drafted.
Did he assume that I wouldn’t leave my family?
I probably wouldn’t unless we were engaged, but why didn’t he at least ask?
Right now, I need to be close to home. Parker and Witt need me.
J.D. and Birdie recently had a baby girl, Henley. Sutton and Greyson have one on the way.
She seems surprised, but then her boyfriend yells over to Brooks, “Your girl is staying here and not moving with your ugly mug. What are you going to do without her?”
Brooks straightens his spine, and a red tint travels up his neck to his face. “Football.”
I hear a few snickers, but I don’t turn around to see who it is. Instead, I stand and yell, “Bree, where are those shots?”
The guys cheer me on as I do one shot. Then two more.
Brooks is watching, fuming. I rarely drink if I’m not somewhere safe.
During my freshman year, a guy put a date rape drug in one of my teammate’s drinks.
She was never the same. A month later, she quit the team, dropped out of school, and moved home.
A few of us called to check in, but she would never answer, then she’d text us saying she was working or whatever.
After that, I assumed she didn’t want any memories of this school, this team, or the guy.
Word spread about who the guy was, and soon he was gone as well.
Inside, the music pulses so hard it thrums in my chest. A disco ball flashes in the living room where all the furniture is pushed against the walls.
Bodies are pressed together—dancing, jumping, losing themselves in the sweaty chaos.
I laugh, half-wild, the flavor of hard seltzer buzzing on my tongue as I join in, dancing with anyone who grabs my hand, male or female. For a moment, I’m light—untouchable.
Then Jake—tight end, always grinning—spins me like we’re on some neon-lit tilt-a-whirl. Spinning. Spinning. Free, until I’m suddenly not. The room tilts and my stomach lurches up my throat, fierce and unstoppable. I pinch my mouth closed to push it back down.
“I’m… I’m…”
Jake’s steadying hand pulls me. “Let’s get you to the bathroom.”
He steers me across sticky floors and swings open the bathroom door. Inside, a girl kneels in front of a guy, head bobbing, lost in him. But it’s not just anyone—I know those sneakers. White leather, neon trim, stupidly expensive. Brooks. My Brooks.
His eyes snap to mine, wide and guilty, but the girl just keeps going, swallowing him like he’s special. My vision blurs. Rage and nausea war inside me. Jake tugs at my arm. “Let’s get out of here.”
I don’t move. Not yet. I stumble forward, my focus locked on Brooks, and he fumbles, trying to peel her off. Something dark wells up in me, hotter than fury. I open my mouth to scream—only to feel everything I’ve kept down all night expelled right onto her perfect hair and his now-limp dick.
“Fuck, Noelle,” Brooks shouts.
“My hair is ruined,” the girl gripes under her breath, but when her head turns, I realize it’s Tabby.
“Good. Best of luck. If he cheats on me, he’ll cheat on you too.” I spin toward the door and lose my balance. Jake steadies me and takes me outside.
“Can I call someone for you, or can I take you home?”
I’m such a fool. Why did I forgive him? My body aches from the liquor. Unlocking my phone, I give it to him. “I don’t know. Maybe my brother.”
“You want me to call your brother? Like the quarterback for the Austin Armadillos?” he asks, his voice scratchy.
“I have four brothers,” I mutter as the lights dim and my eyes close.
I have no idea how I got home or who took care of me, but I have a raging headache, and my stomach is growling. When I finally turn over to look at the clock, there are pain meds, water, and a note.
You need to eat.
Bagels in the kitchen with your
favorite cinnamon cream cheese.
There’s no name on the note, so I’m assuming it’s one of my roommates. Maybe they were at the party. I don’t remember seeing them, but in all honesty, I don’t remember much. Except my boyfriend’s penis in a mouth that wasn’t mine.