Chapter 37 - Matt
THIRTY-SEVEN
MATT
She’s warm against me, all soft curves and quiet breathing, her hair fanned across my arm like she belongs there.
Because she does.
I lie still, afraid to move, afraid to break whatever spell has settled over us in the dark hush of morning.
My hand rests on her back, just above the gentle swell that wasn’t there before.
Every time I let myself think about that—about the life growing inside her—something tightens in my chest in a way that hurts and heals at the same time.
I want this.
I want her.
I want the baby.
I want the messy, ordinary future I never thought I was allowed to imagine.
For a moment, darkness and doubt creep in. How can I have this? Or better yet, how long can I have this? I’ll take whatever Noelle will give me, but I’m a selfish man. I decide. If I feel decent, I’ll be here. I can take the pain.
My body aches, the familiar deep soreness humming beneath my skin, but today is a day off from dialysis. A small mercy. I don’t have to be at the stadium until noon—just a meeting, then practice. The world is giving me a few stolen hours of pretending everything is normal.
Or too much time to think.
Her alarm goes off, soft but insistent. She groans and burrows closer to me, nestling in until she finds a perfect spot. She’s so damn cute and sexy at the same time.
“Do you feel better after last night?” she asks sleepily.
I smile despite myself. “I feel… a lot of things.” I gently shift her so I can see her, my eyes tracing the curve of her hip, the faint shadows on her skin. My stomach twists when I spot the bruises.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur. “I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
She turns toward me, her gaze steady and warm. “It was the perfect kind of hurt,” she says, still sleepy. “The kind that says you need me as much as I need you. We’re going to get through this.”
The certainty in her voice steals my breath. The look in her eyes steals my heart once more. She’s so positive and upbeat even when she shouldn’t be.
“We will,” I say, confirming her hopes. “But there’s something I need to ask you.”
Her eyes flicker with curiosity. “What?”
My hands travel a thousand miles up and down her arm before I ask, “Do you want me to be this baby’s father?”
The room goes so quiet I can hear my own heartbeat, and I don’t know whether she heard me. But then I guess the shock wears off, and Noelle looks at me like I just gave her something precious instead of terrifying.
“Yes. I thought that was understood. You asked me to get Brooks to sign away his rights, and then you asked me to move in.”
My mouth curves into a smile. “I have one piece of advice for you, Butterfly. Dudes need exact information. Don’t ever assume we know what’s in your head… we think with the wrong one all too often.”
She inches closer on the tangled sheets.
“I want you to be the baby’s father legally.
Is that clear enough? I don’t want you being able to walk out without a second thought.
My baby deserves a fa… father,” she chokes, her emotions swelling in her.
“You don’t have to marry me, but we have to have paperwork to protect our baby. ”
Something inside me breaks open.
We lie there for a long moment, just looking at each other, the future hovering between us like something fragile, yet bright and loving.
“Our baby. No more saying ‘Noelle’s baby.’ Clear?”
This time it’s me biting back a rush of tears. I never thought I would have a child once diabetes took hold. Over and over, I told myself I was fine being a bachelor until Noelle kissed me. Those little feelings I had for her before were brief since she was totally off-limits.
“I’m out of town the rest of the week,” she says softly. “They’re sending me to Oklahoma City to cover their game.”
“Scout them for us,” I tease. “Let me know all their weaknesses.”
She snorts. “I can’t. That’s against the rules. I’ll report on injuries, expectations… and maybe locker room gossip.”
I grin. “I’m kidding. I’ve already dissected every angle of their game. We play them next Thursday.”
“Of course you have,” she laughs. “You’re basically an O’Ryan.”
“No, you’re basically a Stricker.”
We fall back asleep and end up having to race her to the airport to catch her flight. I kiss her goodbye longer than necessary, memorizing the feel of her in my arms. Then I head to the stadium.
What I think will be a meeting with J.D. turns out to be Sutton, Greyson, and J.D. waiting for me in the conference room.
“We owe you an apology,” Sutton says. “We’re not getting tested. We might need to be here for our kids one day. Or each other. But Dad wants to.”
My chest tightens. “I’m still not taking one of your kidneys.”
Greyson exhales. “We knew you would say that, but—”
“You all lost your mother in a hospital,” I say quietly. “I won’t let Noelle lose her father the same way. Not when Witt is just starting to come out of his shell. You all need your dad.”
Noelle’s words echo in my head—how Witt is finally peeking back into the world.
J.D. nods slowly. “We’ll talk about it after practice.”
When they leave, I sit alone for a moment, feeling something I haven’t felt in a long time.
Hope.
Maybe all I needed was to make love to the woman I love. And have her want me to be her baby’s father.
And she did.