Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
Eve
I wasn’t sure Carter would show.
But then, he texted me at 7:45 to change the location to a Starbucks just off campus. When I arrive, he’s still not there, so I find a table and go over what I’m going to say in my head for the millionth time.
I’m nervous. My palms are sweaty. Other places are sweaty.
I know this is likely my last shot. What I say to Carter will either make or break us. If there even is an ‘us’ to begin with. I try to remain hopeful, my last crumb of hope being that he actually responded.
I stayed up way too late last night waiting for that response, falling asleep on my phone. When I woke up and still hadn’t received a reply, my heart sank.
Maybe it really was time to move on…
And then, the way my heart soared to life when he did respond… well, let’s just say I was so happy I was alone and nobody else witnessed the yelp that escaped from my mouth.
Carter’s presence in my life has become a total and complete distraction.
I should be concentrating on my classes. And I do, I try so hard. But I’ll be right in the middle of studying about anatomy.
Suddenly ten minutes will pass while I let my thoughts drift off into visions of his forearms flexing. Or I’ll read a scientific study about the intricacies of the human hand and get lost thinking about Carter’s fingers.
How they would feel inside my pussy. Flicking the nub of my clit…
Most days find me alone in bed, spending way too much time draining the batteries on my vibrator as I let his name fall from my lips over and over. And even then, I’m still not satisfied.
Only one thing is going to scratch the itch I’m feeling—there’s no denying it.
My obsession with Carter is bad. Real bad.
I know if I don’t do something soon, I’ll never be able to focus long enough to pass a class, let alone all of them.
The pressure is on, in so many ways.
So, I come up with a plan. As I sit there, hoping like hell it will work in my favor, Carter strolls in the door casually, stealing the breath from my lungs like it’s as easy as walking.
Somehow, he’s so much hotter than before.
He’s freshly showered. His hair is still wet, slicked back from his face. He’s wearing Levi’s and a dark green button down with a white t-shirt peeking out, the sleeves rolled up those damned haunting forearms.
I want to lick him.
Clearing my throat, I remind myself to stop ogling him as Carter walks across the room. I flash him what I hope is my most charming smile and not the forced grimace of a psycho stalker chick.
But one look at the expression in his eyes when he spots me leaves me cold. If I’m going to break through his walls, I have work to do.
I watch as he stands in line and grabs his coffee before turning and walking to my table.
“Hey,” he nods curtly, as he sits down.
“Hi,” I say. “Thanks for coming.”
“Yeah, sure,” he mumbles, sipping his coffee.
I decide to plunge right in.
“I owe you an apology, Carter. I never should have called you a coward.”
“Whatever,” he shrugs. I hate his indifference. I want to see some emotion, good or bad. I want to know that he cares. The Carter sitting in front of me is stone-cold and emotionless.
“Look, I respect your job. I do,” I continue. “Of course you don’t want to put that in jeopardy.”
“Thank you for respecting that,” he says, lifting a brow.
“It’s just… this isn’t easy.”
“No, it isn’t,” he agrees.
“So, I just wanted to offer, sincerely, to switch to a different class. If nobody sees us interact, then they won’t suspect a thing. And, if the university finds out, then they won’t fire you, if I’m not a direct student of yours.”
“Eve…”
“I know it’s a lot but I can handle it. I already looked into alternate classes. They’re all full, but I think if I email the professor, I can wrangle my way in. If I have to, I can wait a year.”
He looks across the table at me, pensive and stoic. I want to crack through his walls. I want him to see how I really feel about him.
“Carter, I truly am sorry. I was tempting you. I knew you were trying to stay professional. But I think that this way, we can be together. We can keep it quiet. I swear I won’t tell a soul. Our secret will be safe. I promise.”
He sighs, then he runs a hand through his short hair.
God, he’s so fucking handsome.
“Eve, this is never going to work. It’s not just one thing. It’s several. Work. School. Aiden. Your father. My mother. I don’t see how we can ever get past all of those obstacles.”
“I can talk to Aiden and my father.”
He gives me a long look. “They’ll never come around.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I’m a realist, Eve. As much as I would love to…”
His voice fades off and he shakes his head.
“Love to what?” I demand that he finishes his sentence, frustration threatening to overwhelm me.
He leans forward and grabs my hand across the table. His palm is warm from his coffee cup.
“Eve, I would love to peel that dress off of you. I would take the opportunity to engrave every inch of your skin onto my memory. I’d love to sink my cock into you and see what it feels like to be buried completely inside of you. You don’t know how much I want that, Eve.”
His words were like bullets to my heart.
“But I can’t. There’s too much. We have to stop. We can’t let this progress any further. Last time, we went way too far. That’s a mistake we can’t let happen again.”
“But Carter, I think you’re wrong!” I protest.
“I know you do. But I’m older than you. I’m wiser. So I’m making the call here. It’s best we don’t spend any more time alone. It’s obvious we can’t control ourselves under those circumstances.”
“Wow,” I whisper, my eyes filling with tears.
“Don’t cry, Eve. Please. Just go.”
I can feel the exact moment my heart breaks wide open. The fact that it happens in a fucking Starbucks at eight thirty in the fucking morning doesn’t help with the pain and humiliation of being so publicly and decidedly rejected.
For one brief moment, I search Carter’s eyes, seeking a twinge of regret I can hold onto. But there’s nothing but somber resignation and sadness that must surely reflect my own feelings.
Slowly, I nod, tears falling down my cheeks.
He reaches out a hand and brushes one away with his thumb, which only makes more tears fall at his tender gesture.
“Goodbye, Carter,” I finally whisper, pulling myself to my feet and forcing one foot in front of the other until I’m outside. As soon as I lock myself inside my car, I collapse into a puddle of tears and heartbreak. The feeling is laced with a healthy dose of anger at Carter for not being brave enough to give us the shot that we deserve.