Chapter 17
Chapter Seventeen
Carter
I hold out for three days before I break and call Eve. It’s like I have no choice. I dream about her, fantasize about her, stalk her house. But there is no sign of Eve. When I call, I get her voicemail.
Hi, it’s Eve. Leave me a message…
I slam the phone down with an angry sound. I go about my day, but all I think about is the woman I rejected. Why won’t she pick up? Is this a punishment?
I stare at my phone and will it to ring. The silence feels unbearable.
“Come on. Pick up,” I mutter.
Hi, it’s Eve. Leave me a message…
I hit redial again. It goes straight to voicemail. My stomach twists.
I pace around the living room and run a hand through my hair. Where could she be? This isn’t like her.
After another four hours, I give in. It’s time to reach out for help. I scroll through my contacts and tap Aiden’s name. He answers on the second ring.
“Carter? What’s up?”
“Hey Aiden. Sorry to bother you. Have you heard from Eve lately?” I try to keep my voice casual. The worry seeps through anyway.
There’s a pause. “No. I haven’t. Is everything okay?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t reached her for days. I thought maybe she was with you.”
“That’s strange.” Aiden’s tone sounds serious now. “I’ll try calling her. Let me know if you hear anything.”
“Of course. Thanks Aiden.”
I end the call and slump onto the couch. My mind races. I pace around the room. Words from our last conversation echo in my head. Every word feels like a knife.
“We can’t be together, Eve. It’s too complicated. The risks are too high.”
God. I was exactly what she accused me of being. A coward.
I collapse into an armchair and run my hands through my hair. The ticking clock on the wall feels loud in the silence. Each second is another moment Eve is out there What if she does something drastic?
My phone buzzes, and I grab it. My heart pounds. It’s just a text from a colleague. I toss the phone aside and feel frustration boiling over.
Aiden doesn’t call me back. I have to go to work the next day, even though I’m miserable. So I go through the motions at work.
I’m grading papers in my office when a knock at the door startles me. “Come in?”
It’s a student with a question. I answer, but my eyes keep darting to my silent cell phone on my desk. After the student leaves, I pick up the phone and scroll through my recent calls. All to Eve. All unanswered. My thumb hovers over her name again.
“This is insane,” I mutter, but I hit call anyway. It rings and rings. Each unanswered tone raises my anxiety.
“Eve. It’s me again.” I say when her voicemail picks up. “I know I said some harsh things, but please. Just let me know you’re safe. I’m going out of my mind here.”
That’s it. I can’t sit here anymore. I need to do something. Anything. I grab my keys and head for the door. I don’t know where I’m going. I just know I can’t stay still another second.
I drive aimlessly through the early morning streets. The rising sun casts long shadows across the pavement. My hands grip the steering wheel. My knuckles are white. Before I realize it, I’m turning onto Eve’s street. I’m drawn by an invisible thread of worry and longing.
As I approach her house, my heart nearly stops. There’s a car in the driveway. It’s not hers. It’s a sleek black sedan. I slow down and watch as the back door opens.
And there she is.
Eve steps out, looking exhausted but unharmed. A driver emerges and moves to the trunk to get her bags. I pull over. My breath catches as I watch her.
“Eve,” I whisper. Relief floods over me.
I’m out of my car before I can think. I stride toward her. She notices me, her eyes widening.
“Carter? What are you doing here?” Her voice is a mix of confusion and wariness.
I stop a few feet away, suddenly unsure. “I’ve been worried sick about you.”
Eve’s expression softens a bit, but her eyes stay guarded. “I’m fine, Carter. I just needed some time away.”
“Time away? You disappeared without a word. Do you have any idea what that did to me?” The words spill out, raw with emotion.
The driver finishes unloading her bags and Eve thanks him. As the car pulls away, she turns to me, her posture stiff.
“Look, Carter. I appreciate your concern. But I’m an adult. I don’t need to check in with anyone.”
I step closer, fighting the urge to reach out. “I know that. But after everything, I just… I needed to know you were okay.”
For a moment, I see something in her eyes. Maybe regret. Maybe understanding. It’s gone as quickly as it appeared.
“I am okay,” she says quietly. “But I really don’t appreciate you acting all concerned after you told me point blank that we shouldn’t be together. I think we need to withdraw to our own corners and lick our own wounds. You drew this line, Carter. You don’t get to cross it again. I don’t want you to check on me. I don’t want you to worry about me. If we’re not in a relationship, stop trying to treat me like you would your girlfriend.”
I watch helplessly as she gathers her bags. I want to say more but know it’s not the right time. She reaches her front door and pauses, looking back.
“I’ll see you around, Carter,” she says. Each word is like a dagger plunged directly into my heart. She gives me her back, dismissing me.
I can’t let her walk away like this. Not again. Before I even know what I’m doing, I’m reaching out. My heart races as I step forward and gently touch her arm.
“Eve, wait,” I say, my voice thick with frustration. “Please. Let’s talk.”
“There is nothing left to say!” Eve pulls her arm free, her voice sharp. “I’m a free agent, Carter. I’m not tied to anyone or anything. Least of all to a relationship that you made clear couldn’t happen. Do you understand? I am not your girlfriend .”
Her words hit me like a punch. I take a breath and try to calm the storm inside me.
“You don’t understand, Eve.” My voice softens. “If anything had happened to you… I’d lose my mind.”
For a moment, I see surprise in her eyes, but it’s quickly hidden. I want to break through. I want to show her how much she means to me, but I know I’ve lost that chance.
Eve’s shoulders slump. She gently places her hand on my chest. The warmth of her touch lingers even as she creates distance.
“Carter.” Her voice is soft but firm. “You need to go home. You don’t get to do this.”
I frown, confused. “Do what?”
She sighs. “You can’t tell me we can’t be together and then worry about where I am every second. That’s not how it works.”
Her words sting, but I know she’s right. I’ve been trying to hold her close while keeping her at arm’s length. She’s punishing me for treating her like she didn’t matter.
And I deserve every bit of it. The thought makes the words bitter as ash in my mouth.
“I know, but I just—” I start, but she cuts me off.
“No, Carter. You made your choice. Now live with it.”
I watch helplessly as she turns away and reaches for the door. My heart pounds. I’m desperate to say something. Anything to make her stay.
“Eve, please?—”
But she’s already stepping inside. Her silhouette is framed by the doorway. She pauses for a moment, and I hold my breath, hoping she’ll turn back. But she doesn’t.
I stand there, staring at the closed door. Frustration and longing twist inside me. What am I supposed to do now? The thought of walking away, of letting her go, feels unbearable. But I can’t keep living like this, caught between what I want and what I think is right.
I run my hands over my face and try to clear my head. But all I can think about is Eve’s face, the hurt in her eyes, and the certainty that I’ve made a terrible mistake.