Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
Holden
Five years ago…
“Which research method involves direct interaction and observation of individuals or groups in their natural environment?” Katherine asked, flashcards clutched in her delicate little hands.
“Ummm…” I took a pull from my whiskey and stared at the low-cut v of Katherine’s shirt. There was just the tiniest swell of cleavage I could make out when she leaned forward and it was far more interesting than the Sociology flashcards Katherine had spent the last hour and half making with me.
“Holden.”
“What?”
“We just went over this. Your sociology final is tomorrow.”
“Right. Ummmm… content analysis?”
“It’s Ethnography.” She drops the cards into her lap and pulls her feet beneath her, sitting cross-legged on my bed. “Are you okay? You seem… out of it.”
“I’m…” I paused. I hated this question. Was I okay? No, I wasn’t fucking okay. My mom was dead. My dad was an asshole currently fucking my professor. And I had to get up every day and pretend that my whole world hadn’t changed.
I looked up, meeting Katherine’s eyes and suddenly my anger surrounding my situation softened.
But I had her.
Even in my tipsy fog, I knew I’d be okay as long as she was on my side. “Yeah,” I said, my voice raspy from one too many whiskeys tonight. “Just… bad at focusing.”
She leaned forward, tapping a fingernail to my glass. “That’s probably not helping your focus.”
I chuckled and set the glass down on my nightstand, taking the opportunity to crawl across the bed, my navy comforter wrinkling beneath my knees as I made my way to Katherine’s lap.
She groaned as I leaned forward and slid my tongue up her neck. “Holden,” she gasped, her fingers threading into my hair. “You should really—” I nipped at her collarbone and she arched into me gasping, “Study.”
The flashcards fluttered to the floor, fully forgotten as Katherine leaned back against my pillows. I kissed up her neck, my hands tracing her curves, curling around her ribcage. She sighed softly, one hand still in my hair while the other slid under my shirt, her cool fingertips dancing across my skin.
I shivered, desire pulsing through me. As I claimed her lips in a hungry kiss, her hips arched against me.
My body hummed with desire for her, and I didn't want to study anymore. Not when she felt so fucking good pressed against me.
"Holden," she said again, this time with a hint of protest mixed into her voice. But then she moaned as my hands slid over her ribs and underneath her shirt, feeling the warmth of her soft skin. Our lips met in a hungry kiss, our tongues dancing together as we explored each other's mouths. The taste of her kiss lingered on my lips long after she pulled back.
I’d been so careful from the moment I met her. So cautious not to push too hard or go too far with her. And I still wanted to honor that. Maybe it was the second whiskey I had, but something about tonight felt dangerously different; electric in a way that I could easily lose control.
We broke apart for air, and I looked into those cornflower blue eyes of hers. Usually crystal clear and bright, they were dark with excitement now, like a still lake at midnight, a glow reflecting the dim light of the room. "Holden," she whispered again, reaching up to touch my face tenderly with those soft hands before they trailed down my jawline until they cupped my neck gently. She pulled me closer once more and I couldn't resist any longer - not with the smell of her skin mixed with the scent of alcohol from our late-night studying session, not with the heat rising between us increasing by the second.
She rolled me onto my back, straddling my hips and pulled her shirt off, revealing her perfect tits. No bra. Just beautiful A-cups with rose-colored hard nipples that made my mouth water.
“Katherine…” It was my turn to put the scolding, warning tone into my voice.
True to form, she ignored me and rolled her hips over my cock, making my eyes roll back in momentary bliss. “Fuck me,” I muttered as my head hit the wood plank of my headboard.
“That’s the idea, Holden.” She grabbed my shirt, tugging it off of me, revealing my taut abs and the small tattoo of a Lily on my left pec.
“Lily…” she said, quietly, tracing her fingers over it, her touch sending shivers down my spine.
“I got it a couple years ago for my mom.”
“Did she know you got it for her?”
I nodded, the painful memory leaching into my thoughts even through the shroud of numbness whiskey usually provided me. “Maybe I’ll add a rose next to it soon,” I said, smiling up at Katherine.
She leaned forward and gently pressed her lips to the tattoo, teasing me with the sweetness of her kisses while her hot breath fanned across my skin.
"Holden," she whispered again before trailing kisses down my chest and along my abdomen. I groaned as she dipped lower, nipping at my skin lightly, leaving behind a trail of goosebumps in her wake.
Her hands were everywhere, exploring every inch of my body like it was the most exquisite piece of art she'd ever seen. Each touch sent waves of pleasure coursing through me like a live wire. Her lips followed suit, kissing and nibbling their way lower until they reached the waistband of my jeans.
“Katherine,” I warned. There was no way I could stop her if she kept going down this path. I might be a good guy, but I’m not a fucking saint. “We’re not having sex tonight.”
Tension pulled at her brows momentarily with my declaration.
She sat back and looked up at me with those big doe eyes that always made me melt. "Can I… um, can I at least taste you?" she asked in the most innocent fucking way that nearly had me nut right then and there.
“Oh my God, you’re killing me, Katherine,” I grunted and flung my arm over my eyes.
“Was that you consenting?” I could hear the smile in her voice.
I nodded. “Yes, you have your consent to fucking blow me, Katherine.”
Her laugh made me peek down just in time to catch a glimpse of her licking her lips, eyes locked onto the bulge in my jeans. Without another word, she slid my pants down, her eyes fixed on mine the whole time as if she could read every thought in them. As soon as I was completely bare, she leaned down, licking the underside of my shaft in a slick, long line.
"Katherine," I moaned, my hips arching off the bed as she pressed a chaste kiss to my head. Then, like a fucking pro, like she’d been sucking dick her whole life, she wrapped her lips around my head and took me into the hot, wet cavern of her mouth.
Her tongue swirled around the head of my cock and I gasped as her warmth enveloped me. She took me deep into her throat, and I could feel every inch of her, each movement sending sparks of pleasure through my body. The way she worked her mouth on me was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before - tender and teasing, sensual and slow.
I laced my fingers gently through her hair, holding onto her as she teased me with gentle sucks that grew more insistent with each passing moment. Her breath was warm against my skin, her nose brushing the tender skin as she bobbed up and down over my cock eagerly. With my dick still in her mouth, she looked up at me with those bright blue eyes that held an unspoken promise of adventure.
My heart pounded in my chest as she blinked, the epitome of innocence from the nose up and a fucking sex Goddess from the nose down. I watched her mouth move up and down on me, small tits bouncing with each eager bob. Her lips wrapping tightly around the head of my cock each time she took it deep inside her mouth with a low hum of pleasure when she slowly caressed the underside of my shaft with her tongue. It was intoxicating. She was intoxicating… even more so than my discarded whiskey.
The sheets rustled beneath us as Katherine continued to pleasure me, her fingers trailing lightly over my thighs in time with her mouth movements. She took me deeper, making me see stars as she swirled her tongue around the sensitive spot beneath the head of my cock. My back arched off the mattress in response, and even through the haze of alcohol and desire, I could feel every nerve ending on fire with need for more of this incredible woman wrapped around me.
“Katherine…” I tugged gently on her hair. “I’m going to…”
But she didn’t pull away. She didn’t stop sucking me.
If anything, she took me deeper into her throat as my balls tightened, drawing up into my spine. “Fuck,” I grunted, trying to hold off my orgasm. “Katherine, stop unless you want my come down your fucking throat,” I hissed, my words labored and strained.
She still didn’t stop. Didn’t jump away like other girls, even with my warning. Instead, her eyes looked up at me, bright blue orbs meeting mine, daring me to tell her to stop as she milked my cock with her soft lips.
My hips bucked up off the bed, seeking more friction against her tight little mouth. It felt too good to pull away now, even if I wanted to.
And I fucking didn’t. It was too intense to stop this heady rush of desire… for either of us.
The bed squeaked under our movements and I groaned as I let go, releasing inside her mouth with a satisfied moan.
She hummed around me like an electric current, sending waves of pleasure coursing through my body with each stroke of her tongue, lapping at the come spurting from me. Her soft moans vibrated against my skin, echoing into the warmth of my chest as she swallowed pulse after pulse of my load.
The scent of her arousal filled my senses, mingling with the faint trace of rose oil on her hands and that delicious cherry lip balm she always wore.
Finally, the pulses of release slowed and she pulled away, a proud smile on her face.
I reached down, brushing my thumb to the corner of her lips, pinching her chin and dragging her lips to mine in a bruising kiss.
“Hey,” she said, pulling away from my mouth.
“Hey yourself,” I murmured, flipping her onto her back and drawing her nipple into my mouth.
“Can I ask you something…?”
I paused where I was and slowly looked up at her, suddenly concerned. Oh, fuck. I knew we were moving too fast. Maybe she didn’t want to give me a blowjob. Maybe she didn’t want to swallow. “Are you okay?”
She nodded. “Yeah, it’s nothing like that. I just… why… why don’t you want to have sex?”
I crawled back up and rolled to lay next to her on my side. Not removing my hands from her torso, I traced little lines up and down her abs. “Believe me, I want to. I want to have sex with you more than I want my next breath. But you only get one first time, Katherine. It should be … special. Really fucking special. Wine. Roses. Fucking fireworks. I just… I don’t want you to regret it like I did.”
Her head tilted curiously. “You mentioned before that you regretted your first time, but you never really went into the details.”
I took a deep breath. There was a reason I avoided the details. But if I wanted Katherine to truly understand why it was so important for me to wait with her, maybe I would have to tell her the gritty details. “My… my godmother was my first.”
“What?!”
“We’re not related or anything. Not like that. She was my mom’s best friend and when I was fifteen, she came by when they were out of town and I was having a house party with my friends.”
Katherine’s mouth gaped open and she scooted to sit up. “Holden, that’s rape.”
I sighed and ran my hands through my hair. This was why I didn’t tell many people. “I know the laws say that, but it didn’t feel like rape back then. And it still doesn’t now. Don’t get me wrong… she’s not my favorite person. And it wasn’t until I walked in on her with my dad a year later that I realized how sick she really was.”
“Oh my God, Holden. That’s… that’s terrible. Did your mom know?”
I shook my head. “I don’t think so. She knew my dad had affairs, but I don’t think she ever realized it was with her best friend. And she definitely didn’t realize her best friend had fucked her son.”
I pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes, the whiskey already mostly worn off with this sobering conversation. “Anyway… if you ever regretted me the way I regretted her? I’d… fuck, Katherine, I’d never forgive myself.”
She leaned over, cupping my jaw with her silky soft hands. “I could never regret you.”
“That’s easy to say now.” I grabbed her hand gently and pressed a kiss to her palm. “There’s no rush. We have all the time in the world.”
Her brows raised at me. “We have until your graduation in May.”
I shook my head. “We have a lifetime, Katherine.”
I watched the svelte line of her throat contract with her nervous swallow as she processed the words I said… or rather the words I didn’t say.
I couldn’t say those three little words… not yet. Even though I felt … I felt something.
Katherine’s stomach growled, breaking through the silence and we both giggled. “You hungry?” I asked.
She shrugged. “A little. Should we go out somewhere to eat?”
“Oh, we’re going to go out to eat… but first, I need to eat out something myself.”
I rolled on top of her once more, her giggles quickly morphing into a gasp when I slid down between her thighs.
Twenty minutes later, we were fully dressed and in my car, heading to get some food. I was mostly sober… definitely sober enough to pass a breathalyzer.
“Where should we eat?” I asked, heading toward downtown where a bunch of places were still open.
Katherine shrugged, fiddling with the strap of her purse. “Whatever.”
Whatever.
“Pizza?”
“Sure.”
Conversation had stalled and even though silence with Katherine was never uncomfortable, there was so much to learn about her, I didn’t want to waste a second. “If you could eat anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?”
She considered my question for a moment before saying, “It’s a tie. Either croissants at sunrise outside of Tiffany’s…”
I groaned, remembering the Breakfast at Tiffany’s scene. My mom made me watch that stupid movie a hundred times.
“Hey,” Katherine laughed. “It’s iconic!”
“It’s stupid!” I countered. “What’s the other option? Breakfast at Tiffany’s or…”
“Or the Grand Central Oyster Bar in Grand Central Station.”
My face screwed into a confused frown. “Let me get this straight. You either want to eat croissants at the ass crack of dawn in front of a store you can’t afford. Or you want to eat in a train station restaurant that serves shellfish that will send you into anaphylactic shock?”
She clicked her tongue and gave me a look, highlighted by the passing headlights. “It’s not some shitty train station fast food joint. It’s iconic in New York history. Mad Men was filmed there. And it looks beautiful.”
“But… but you can’t eat shellfish! You want to go to a restaurant where you can’t order a damn thing?”
She shrugged. “Maybe I’d just eat Magnolia cupcakes and sit at the bar of the oyster restaurant.”
I shook my head. This girl never ceased to leave me speechless.
“Alright, butthead, where would you eat?”
I smiled as I pulled the car into the restaurant parking lot. “My answer is obviously Magnolia Cupcakes at an oyster bar in Grand Central Station.”
She smacked my arm playfully again, this time hard enough to sting. “Don’t tease me!”
“I’m not teasing you! Wherever you want to eat is my dream meal, too.”
Pouting, she fell back against her seat and crossed her arms. “You’re not playing fair. Your dreams can’t be my dreams. That’s not how a healthy relationship works.”
I nodded slowly. “Okay, fair enough. So let’s see… the question was if I could eat anywhere in the world, where would I choose?”
Katherine nodded. “That’s right. That was your question.”
I put the car in park and turned it off, thinking for a moment. Then, smiling, I turned to look at Katherine. “That’s easy. I’d go to Indiana and eat at your family’s pub.”