Chapter 29
CHAPTER 29
The applause are thunderous as Holden and I clutch hands and take our final bows, taking a quick moment to gesture to our musicians and lighting team.
Still hand in hand, we run off the stage and Holden tackles me in a hug so tight, it nearly cuts off my air supply. He always did give the best hugs. I pity all the women in the world who will never know what it is to have Holden Dorsey’s arms around them.
We stumble into my dressing room, his lips gliding down over my neck and giggling, I push him away. “Don’t, I’m so sweaty!”
“So am I,” he says, not removing his mouth from my clavicle. “You know what else is sweaty? Sex .”
“There’s an opening night party happening out there. Everyone’s going to be waiting for us!”
“Exactly. They can’t go anywhere until we show up, anyway.”
This time, I don’t fight him as he kisses me. Before he can tug my top off, there’s a knock at the door and Maggie is poking her head in.
Her cheeks turn bright red as she finds us with our arms entangled, me leaning against the mirror, one leg wrapped around Holden’s waist.
She clears her throat. “Uh, sorry. This was delivered to the stage door for you, Kate.”
She hands me a vase of roses with a card pinned to the edge. “Who’s it from?” Holden asks, leaning over my shoulder as I tug the card free.
“I’m not sure.” I don’t recognize the handwriting on the card. But when I open it, Holden’s arms clutch tighter around my waist, his energy shifting from carefree and celebratory to something darker. More intense.
Kate,
Have an incredible opening. I’m rooting for you… always.
Nate.
I clear my throat and quickly fold the card, shoving it to the side. Shit. There’s no way he didn’t see that.
“Holden—” I start.
“Katherine, it’s fine,” he says, but there’s a low growl to his voice that wasn’t there a moment before. “I trust you,” he whispers.
I give him a skeptical look which he immediately sighs and tugs me back into his hug. “I do trust you.”
“Since when?”
“Since years of therapy taught me that you never did anything but choose me. You chose me over and over again and I just kept shitting on it because I didn’t know how to love you.” He pauses to cup my jaw tenderly. “But I know now.”
As he bends to kiss me, my whisper stops him, his lips a breath away from mine. “I have a confession,” I say.
Well, damn. If I thought he went rigid at Nate’s flower delivery, he was a fucking marble statue right now.
And my ass was sweating.
Profusely.
“Okay…”
“I didn’t finish reading your journal entries,” I admit.
His biceps soften ever so slightly from beneath my palms, relaxing with my words. “Oh. Is that all?”
“I… I don’t know if I can do it, Holden.”
My entire body tenses, my hands gripping onto Holden's biceps as if they were my lifeline. “I don’t know if I can read your words. I don’t know if I can relive the worst time in my entire life through your eyes.” The familiar swell of panic tightens in my throat like it always does when I think about that time in my life. The air feels heavy and suffocating, like a damp cloth pressed against my nose and mouth, making it hard to breathe.
“Hey,” Holden says, his face etched with concern, his eyes searching mine. His grip on me is tight, but gentle, his fingers pressing into my muscles, massaging and circling them as he holds me tighter against him. “I’m here, Katherine. I’m not going anywhere. I know I said you had to read along, but I take that back. And if you want me to sit with you while you read, I will. If you need me to wait outside your door, I will. If you need me to walk across the Sahara barefoot… I’ll… well, I’ll be miserable and probably fail, but I’ll try.”
I chuckle. “I’m not sure how a walk across scorching desert sand would help. But… I think… I think it might be good to have you there with me. When I read.”
“Anything you need,” he says, kissing the top of my head. The calming beat of Holden's heart against my ear as I hug into his chest is strangely reassuring.
“I love you,” he reiterates. “And I’m not going anywhere.”
The only problem is… I believe he loves me. But he’s never stuck around long enough for me to trust that love was enough. I trusted him once before.
Believing and trusting is how you get your heart broken. And even when he doesn’t mean to, Holden is an expert at that.
I pull away from his embrace and tug his hand toward the door. “C’mon,” I urge him. “There’s a bottle of champagne and a whole party waiting for us.”
He drags his feet and sighs before finally giving in and following me out of the dimly lit dressing room. As we descend the solid marble stairs toward the opulent lobby of the old theater, I can hear the buzz of conversation and clinking glasses growing louder. I clutch Holden’s hand as we navigate through the crowded hallway like it's my life preserver in the middle of a turbulent ocean.
A bubbling glass of champagne is placed in our free hands and cheers erupt as we land in the center of the room. Holden’s dad gives me a very performative hug and kiss on the cheek. Maggie taps her glass to mine and blows me a kiss. And Amy rushes at me, hugging me tightly against her. “Thank you for bringing Skyler to life,” she whispers in my ear. “I can’t imagine a better actress for this part.”
Jill stands on the other side of the crowded room, her smile radiant despite the redness in her eyes. My heart swells at the sight of her, a wave of emotion hitting me, and I push my way through the partygoers to reach her. We collide in a fierce embrace, both of us holding back tears
“You did it,” she whispers.
“I couldn’t have done it without you. I couldn’t have done any of it without you. I think I would’ve quit school in the first month.”
“The best thing that school ever did was make us roommates,” Jill whispers.
Blinking, I look over to Nolan who leans down and gives me a quick hug. “Great job, newbie,” he says with a wink. “Although, I think I need a new nickname for you after tonight.”
I grin and shake my head. “Never.”
Within minutes, Holden and I are swept apart. He’s rushed off by his father to meet people. And I tug Jill over to meet and talk to Amy so they can talk all about writing plays.
As the night progresses, I find myself in a whirlwind of conversations and congratulatory toasts. The room is filled with laughter and the sweet sound of clinking glasses. I feel a sense of accomplishment and joy, but also an undercurrent of exhaustion. Yet, amidst all the celebration, I can't help but keep an eye on Holden, who seems to be getting pulled further and further away from me by his father.
Suddenly, my gaze lands on an unexpected sight. Across the room, my sister Mallory stands in a corner. Alone. Arms crossed and pacing.
What the hell is my sister doing here?
As I make my way through the crowded room, weaving past groups of chatting guests, I finally reach Mallory. Her eyes meet mine, and I can see the mix of surprise and apprehension in her expression.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, my voice barely above a whisper, trying to keep my composure despite the shock coursing through me.
Mallory shifts uncomfortably on her feet, her gaze flickering away for a moment before returning to meet mine once more. "I… I wanted to see my sister make her Broadway debut," she says hesitantly, her words tinged with an unspoken apology. “You were… you were really good.”
“Thanks.”
The tension between us is palpable as we stand there, the noise of the party fading into the background as we confront each other's presence in this unexpected place.
After a moment of silence that stretches between us like an invisible barrier, Mallory takes a step closer and reaches out a hand towards mine. I hesitate for a heartbeat before tentatively grasping it, feeling the weight of our shared history pressing down on us.
"I know things have been rough between us," Mallory begins softly, her eyes searching mine for understanding. "But I want to try and make things right." Her eyes flick across the room to where Holden is schmoozing some producers. “I still don’t trust him.”
I nod in understanding. “I’m not sure if I do either. But no matter the outcome, it would be really nice to have my sister to rely on. And not throw an I told you so in my face if I’m wrong.”
Mallory's mask slipped for a brief second, revealing vulnerability beneath the tough exterior. “I don’t want to be right. But after what I saw at the Kennedy Center show?” she shakes her head, her shoulders trembling as a shiver visibly courses down her spine.
“I know. I’m trying to move on from it… but I don’t know if I can until I face it.”
“Then maybe it’s time.” She squeezes my hands.
The weight of her words hung heavy in the air between us, the years of distance and resentment slowly melting away with each heartbeat. And as we stood there facing each other, a tentative smile tugged at the corners of my lips.
Maybe, just maybe, this unexpected encounter was exactly what I needed… we needed… to finally heal old wounds and forge a new beginning.
Amidst the hum of voices and clinking glasses around us, I feel a glimmer of hope and realization stirring within me.
“Will you do me a favor, Mallory?”
“A bigger favor than leaving my husband and kids at home and flying halfway across the country for you?” she teases.
I giggle and nod. “Come home with me. And let’s have the slumber party we never got to have as sisters.”
Tears well up in Mallory's eyes as she nodded slowly. “I’ll get the Oreos.”