Chapter 6 #3
“You wish you’d realized what?” Lucy asks, but I barely hear her.
The diner door opens, and I glance over out of habit, checking on who’s entering the room that contains the person I love most in the world.
Every muscle in my body tenses.
What the fuck do they think they’re doing?
Three men in their early twenties have just entered the diner. Dangerous men with hard faces and violence glinting in their eyes. The spider tattoos on their hands and necks tell me all I need to know.
Sokolis.
Come to start shit here because Emilio couldn’t keep his goddamn mouth shut. Invading the place where I’ve brought my sixteen-year-old, unarmed and vulnerable, sister.
Anger hotter than that poker fresh from the fire burns through me. How fucking dare they breathe the same air as her?
My arm tightens around Lucy. “I need to get you out of here.”
“Who are they?”
“Sokoli drug dealers.”
I have never seen them so deep in Barone territory, or so blatantly.
“Drugs?” Lucy whispers, her voice rising anxiously. Both of us get tense when drugs come up. It reminds us of where we came from.
“Antonio will take you home.”
Antonio is already out of his seat and on his way to me, but before he can reach us, one of the Sokoli men comes over to my booth. As he does, everyone in the restaurant falls silent. Both his hands are in the pockets of his black bomber jacket, and most likely he’s holding a concealed gun.
The other two Sokoli men are standing by the front door, blocking the exit. The owner has come out from behind the counter, but he’s frozen in place, uncertain what to do. He won’t call the cops, but I know he’s wishing there were more Barone men here than just me, Antonio, and Giovanni.
The Sokoli stops in front of us with a nasty smile on his face. “I’ve seen your picture. You’re the don’s son, pretty boy.”
I can’t say the same about him. He’s got looks that would be improved by a beating.
I turn so Lucy is shielded by my body, but I can feel her peeping out behind me. “This is Barone territory. You’re not welcome here.”
He jerks his chin at Lucy. “Who’s your pretty bitch, Barone?”
My eyes narrow, and an icy cold clarity settles over me. If bullets start flying, innocent people are going to get hurt, but I am going to make this man bleed.
When I don’t say anything, he continues in a conversational tone. “Your man had a message for us, and so we have a message for your darling dad. We’re going to eat the Barones alive, starting with his little whore daughters—”
Rage explodes inside me.
I slide out of the booth, seize his shoulders, and ram my knee into his nuts.
The man doubles over with a pained oof, and the gun falls out of his pocket. I kick it away. A silver fork is glinting on the table. I snatch it up and ram it into the Sokoli’s mouth, stabbing him through the tongue.
He screams in the back of his throat and struggles, but I keep him bent double with a hand gripping the back of his neck.
“We haven’t been properly introduced. I’m Damiano Barone, and you’ve scared my sister and called her a bitch and a whore, you piece of shit.”
I take a quick glance around the restaurant.
Lucy is still behind me in the booth, gazing in surprise at the fork I have rammed down the Sokoli’s throat.
Antonio and Giovanni have closed in on the Sokoli’s two friends, keeping them away from me while I deal with their boss.
Rafiel Lucania has joined them, and he has one of the men shoved against the wall with a tattooed hand wrapped around his throat and a dangerous glint in his eye.
Unexpected help, but I’ll take it.
“Apologize,” I snarl to the man trying futilely to pull the fork from his mouth and get away from me. I twist the fork, making the Sokoli scream. “Say you’re sorry to my sister, or I’ll rip your tongue out.”
“Mrrrm err-ry,” is all the man manages to say. Blood is pouring from his lips and down his chin.
I twist the fork again. “You tell your boss that if he sends anyone else into Barone territory, we won’t make you apologize. We’ll kill you on sight. Now fuck off.”
I yank the fork out of his mouth and shove him toward the exit.
Someone passes me a paper napkin, and I wipe the blood from my hand. The man staggers away, spattering wet, red drops on the black-and-white floor. Rafiel, Antonio, and Giovanni push the three Sokolis out the front door.
I turn back to Lucy. My expression transforms from fury into concern as I cup her face. “Are you all right?”
My sister is glaring indignantly after the Sokoli. “How dare he come here. He was going to hurt us, wasn’t he?”
“He was going to try.”
“Then I’m glad you hurt him first.”
I smile and caress her cheek with my thumb. That’s my girl. Fierce and unafraid. “I’ll be back in a moment, and then I’ll take you home.”
As I turn away from Lucy, I see her best friend, Adora Montoni, slip into the seat opposite and reach for her hand.
Adora’s father is Don Agnello, and the Montonis are a crime family the Barones are on good terms with.
Unlike the Lucanias, Mom says the Montonis are “our” kind of people.
Well dressed, wealthy, and with a veneer of respectability.
Barones and Montonis pay the right people to stay on the right side of the law.
I tell Antonio and Giovanni to follow the Sokolis and make sure they leave our territory without causing any more trouble, and they head out.
Rafiel is by the door, and I clasp his hand. “Thanks for the backup.”
“Anytime. Nice work with the cutlery, Barone,” he says with a smile.
“I forgot my knife. Had to improvise.”
I approach the owner and apologize profusely for the disturbance. The man is in his fifties and has every right to tell me to get out, but because of my father, he’s deferential, shaking my hand in a double clasp and even trying to apologize to me. “Damiano Barone, you are welcome here any time.”
I take a wad of money out of my wallet and thrust it into the tip jar to make amends, nod to the waiters, and make my way back to Lucy.
She’s perched on her booth seat like a princess, back straight, eyes clear as she and Adora talk. I wouldn’t mind if she cried or trembled because of what just happened. I’d be more than happy to comfort her, but seeing her like this, so poised after coming face to face with danger…
The world fades away as I stare at her. Maybe she’s more grown up than I thought.
I study her profile, her soft lips and her bright eyes. Her beautiful, elegant throat. I crave to kiss her just below her jaw and feel her heart racing against my lips.
My sister is forbidden fruit, and I can’t want anything of the sort.
I lean down to give her a chaste kiss on the cheek. At the same time Lucy turns her head toward me to say something, and my lips crash into hers.
Time stops.
Her mouth is as sweet and soft as a daydream. Her lower lip is caught between mine, and I feel my eyelashes flutter. Every nerve ending in my body lights up like fireworks. I breathe in her exhale, and it feels like coming home.
My eyes start to close. I want to deepen the kiss. I want to slide my hand into her hair, pull her closer, and taste her properly.
A groan rises up my throat, hungry, desperate, and full of need that I’ve been suppressing for longer than I want to admit.
An alarm blares in the back of my mind. I’m kissing Lucy. Fuck.
I tear my lips from Lucy’s, and she gasps. I stare into her startled, beautiful face. Her mouth is very red and swollen from the brief contact. Her pupils have expanded, and a blush has spread over her cheeks. She’s breathing fast.
Twin lances of red-hot desire and panic shoot through me.
Nobody saw that, right?
I take a quick glance around, and my stomach drops.
Everyone has been staring at me since I rammed a fork down the Sokoli’s throat. They watched me defend my sister.
And they watched me kiss her.
It was a mistake. A mistake. I was aiming for her cheek. She turned her head at the wrong moment.
But from where everyone else is standing, it looks like I kissed my sister on the mouth on purpose, and I didn’t pull away fast enough.
I can see shock and confusion in everyone’s faces. The careful way that Antonio and Giovanni are averting their eyes from us, because they’ve probably suspected for a while that Lucy and I are closer than we should be.
Adora’s eyes are wide, her hand frozen in midair as she was reaching for her milkshake.
“We need to go,” I say roughly, reaching for Lucy’s hand.
Lucy slides out of the booth, and I’m acutely aware of how everyone’s eyes follow us as we move toward the door. I keep my body between her and the rest of the diner, shielding her from their stares.
Antonio catches my arm as we pass. “Damiano—”
“Not now,” I say sharply.
We push through the door into the cool night air, and I don’t stop walking until we’re around the corner, away from the windows, away from prying eyes.
Lucy leans against the brick wall of the building, breathing hard. “Damiano, what just happened?”
“That was a mistake,” I say, but the words feel rough in my throat. “I’m sorry.”
“A mistake,” she repeats flatly.
I run my hands through my hair, pacing. “I was aiming for your cheek. You turned your head. It was an accident.”
“Was it?” she asks so fiercely that I stop pacing and look at her.
Her curls are wild around her face, and her lips are still red from my kiss. She looks beautiful, brave, and defiant.
“Lucy—”
“Because it didn’t feel like an accident to me, Damiano.” She takes a step toward me. “It felt like something we’ve both been wanting for a long time.”
My heart is racing. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what? Tell the truth?”
“We can’t do this.” I take her shoulders, and I’m gripping too hard. “You know why. If Mom and Dad discover that we’ve been lying to them all this time, they won’t just throw you out, Lucy. They’ll kill you.”
I should be saying I don’t want you. A lie to protect her life, if not her heart.
But that’s too painful, and all I can manage is we can’t.
“Do you understand?” I shake her slightly, desperate to make her see. “The lie protects you. As long as everyone believes you’re my sister, you’re safe. You’re untouchable. But if that lie falls apart…”
“They’ll kill me,” she whispers.
“Yes.” The word is bitter on my tongue. “You know Dad doesn’t tolerate deception. And you’d be a liability. A loose end. Someone who knows too much and has no blood tie to keep her loyal.”
Lucy’s eyes are filling with tears, but she blinks them back fiercely. “So what are we supposed to do?”
“Nothing. That kiss was an accident. We laugh it off if anyone mentions it, and we never, ever do that again.”
“Even though we both wanted it.”
I breathe in sharply.
It’s not a question. It’s a statement of fact, and I can’t deny it.
She looks down at her hands, and when she speaks, her voice is small. “I’ve loved you since I was twelve years old. Not as a brother. I need you to know that.”
My heart thumps painfully.
Tell her you don’t feel the same. Lie to her. Protect her.
But the words won’t come.
I’m so tired of pretending. So tired of watching her smile at other people and knowing I can never have her. So tired of the jealousy, and of lying in bed at night, knowing she’s just down the hall, but I’ll never be able to touch her the way I want to.
“I know it’s wrong,” she continues. “I know we can’t be together. But I needed to say it out loud at least once. I love you, Damiano. And that kiss wasn’t an accident for me.”
I’m gripping her shoulders so hard I’m probably leaving bruises, but I can’t make myself let go.
Every cell in my body is screaming at me to pull her close, to kiss her properly, to tell her that I love her too.
That every girl I’ve dated has been a pale substitute for the one girl I can never have.
But if I do that, we’re both dead.
“Lucy. I need you to understand something. The only reason you’re alive right now is because everyone believes you’re my sister. That lie is the only thing keeping you safe from our father, from the Sokolis, from everyone in this world who would use you to hurt me.”
“I know.”
“And if I love you—” The words slip out before I can stop them. “If I love you the way I want to love you, we both die.”
Her eyes snap to mine, wide and shocked. “You love me?”
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
But there’s no taking it back now.
“Of course I love you,” I say roughly. “You’re my Lucy.
You’re the only person in this world who matters to me.
I’ve loved you since you were ten years old and too scared to eat breakfast unless I was holding you.
I’ve loved you through every nightmare, every tear, every smile. I love you so much it’s killing me.”
A tear spills down her cheek. “Then why—”
“Because loving you means protecting you. Even if that protection is from me. Especially if it’s from me.
” I cup her face with shaking hands, wiping away the tear with my thumb.
“I wouldn’t survive losing you. But I’d rather live without you than get you killed because I was too selfish to let you go. ”
A sob rises in her throat. “That’s not fair.”
“Nothing about this is fair.” I press my forehead to hers, breathing her in one last time. “But this is how it has to be. For now. Until I’m strong enough, powerful enough to change the rules. Until I’m Don Damiano instead of just the don’s son.”
Her hands clutch my shirt. “How long will that take?”
I look at her hopelessly. “Who knows.”
“We could be waiting forever.”
I say in a broken whisper, “I know.”
We stand there in the darkness, holding each other, both of us memorizing this moment. Because this is as close as we can get. This is all we can have.
“We have to go back,” I finally say. “People will wonder where we are.”
“I can’t go back in there. Not after…” She gestures helplessly.
“I’ll text Antonio, tell him to spread the word that you were upset after the Sokoli confrontation, and I’m taking you home. It gives us an excuse to leave, and it explains why we looked shaken when we left.”
She nods, wiping her eyes.
As we walk to my car, I keep my arm around her shoulders in what could be seen as brotherly comfort. But my thumb traces circles on her skin, and she leans into me more than necessary.
I open the car door for her, and before she gets in, she looks up at me one more time.
“Damiano?”
“Yeah?”
“When you’re the don, will things be different?”
I think about my father. About the power he wields. About how he makes the rules, how he controls everything and everyone. When I’m the don, I’ll have that power.
“Yes,” I promise her. “When I’m the don, everything will be different.”
She searches my face for a long moment, then nods and gets into the car.
As I drive us home, neither of us speaks. But my hand finds hers in the darkness, and our fingers intertwine.
We can’t kiss. We can’t be together. We can’t act on what we feel.
But we can hold hands in the dark.
And we can wait.
However long it takes.