16. KAYLA
16
I f nervousness was an emotion the devil fed on, I’d be sucked into hell ten minutes ago. How the fuck am I going to survive tonight without my armpits swimming in sweat?
The last time I went to something like this, it was a cocktail party for Trent’s tennis sponsors, and he constantly whispered in my ear how to behave.
Shoulders straight. If I’d put them more straight, I’d break my spine
For fucks sake, Kayla, smile. I smiled until it fucking hurt.
Don’t flirt with him, he could be your dad, you slut. I wasn’t.
I was smiling like he ordered me to, and by the end of the night, he took a full hour to tell me how much I disappointed him before he fell asleep on too much whiskey.
What if I embarrass Bodi tonight?
What if I don’t act like I should?
What if I disappoint him?
What if I don’t?
I blink at my own thoughts, my blue eyes peering back at me in the mirror, while I suck in a lungful of air. Right, Bodi is not Trent. Besides, it’s just an office party.
Nothing insane like the charity ball coming up, don’t even wanna think of the pressure that comes with that, but this is casual. Fun . I can do this.
I give myself another look in the mirror, inspecting every potential fold of my silk black dress. The fabric hugs my hips perfectly, and combined with the heart-shaped bust, it brings out all my features. The sides of my hair are braided on the back of my head, taking control of the rest of my voluminous curls to keep it out of my face.
I look good.
I look classy and feel sexy, but I wouldn’t be me if I wouldn’t top it off with a little more edge, so I put on my shoes with a smile splitting my face. Pleased, I grab my clutch, then walk out of my bedroom door.
Bodi has his back pressed against the kitchen island, his gaze plastered on his phone, and I take this moment to gawk at him shamelessly.
He’s wearing a white dress shirt with a bow tie. His sleeves are rolled up as always and his hair is perfectly styled. But it’s the black jeans and white sneakers that make me realize the man is something else. He’s the only man I’ve ever seen that can create a casual look from formal wear and get away with it without looking like a teenage rebel.
He’s so fucking handsome it makes my thighs clench together. I clear my throat to catch his attention and he looks up.
His green eyes grow wide with a glint that heats my chest, a dozen butterflies racing through my stomach. It’s a glint of awe. A glint that screams desire. His gaze runs down my body until they reach the floor and the corner of his mouth curls.
“Are those Doc Martens?”
I nod.
“You look amazing.”
Relief flows into my muscles.
“So do you,” I offer with a wink as I close the distance between us.
He places his phone on the kitchen island, then presses his hands to the surface while watching me get closer with every step.
When I’m in front of him, the tension crackles between us and I swallow to get rid of the dryness in my mouth.
“Are you gripping the counter to prevent yourself from touching me?”
“Yes,” he discloses honestly.
It’s an answer that has my heart pound vigorously against my ribcage with a deafening sound. One that is the reason I keep pushing the lines, defying the boundaries. Because I know it’s not just me who’s consumed by this irresistible attraction between us.
He feels it too.
I take one final step, grabbing the side of his shirt while standing as close as possible without our bodies touching. “But what if I want you to touch me?”
“If I touch you now, we won’t be going to the party,” he rumbles, both amused and annoyed. I tick him off, I know I do. But I can’t help wondering if it’s me who frustrates him, or if it’s his own indecisive mind.
“Would that be so bad?”
“It’s my company. I’m the boss .” He emphasizes the last word, trying to make me acknowledge the reality of our relationship. Seems like a futile effort by now, if you ask me.
“And?” I taunt, fluttering my lashes.
“And I need to make an appearance.”
I hold his gaze, a smile sitting on my lips. If I press my lips to his right now, I know he will cower. I know I can strip him naked and he’ll remember exactly why we should give in to our burning chemistry, but I want him to come to me. I want to taunt him until he can’t take it anymore and throws me against a wall without any restraint.
I want him to confirm this isn’t all just in my head.
“Fine.” I take a step back, and his eyebrows move to his hairline in surprise before they fall with disappointment, proving my point.
I shoot him a teasing smile, making an effort to get to the front door, when he grabs my wrist in a tight grip.
“Wait.”
I look at his confused gaze, his lips parting while I wait for the words to roll off his tongue. Victory settles inside of me, knowing he’s struggling inside, dying to give in to me.
“What?” I question, innocently, when the silence continues.
He exhales loudly with a big frown, the frustration dripping from his face.
“No drinking tonight,” he finally grunts.
Surprised, I let out a snicker, knowing he’s using it as a cop-out. “Fine.”
He lets go of my wrist and my feet stroll toward the front door before I turn back around with my hand on the doorknob.
He’s still standing there, his hands pressed on the edge of the counter, watching my every move with a pained expression.
“Are you coming?” I gleam.
He nods silently before he saunters towards me with a slight glare.
This is going to be a fun night. I can feel it.
Our eyes stay locked with every move he makes until our connection is interrupted by the sound of his phone, and he pulls it out of his pocket with a sigh, rubbing his face in frustration before he answers.
“Yes?”
Within seconds, the features on his face grow with worry, and I wait with a rush of nerves.
“I understand. I’ll be right there.”
“What’s wrong?” I ask when he hangs up the phone.
“It’s my dad. He’s having another fit. I have to stop by. I’ll drop you at the party first.” His hand lands on the small of my back, guiding me out the door, all back to business and whatever sexual chemistry was solidifying between us evaporates.
“What? No! I’ll come with you.”
“Are you sure? You don’t have to. I can drop you off on my way over there.” He looks a bit troubled, clearly not wanting to be a burden, but when I smile, there’s a hint of hope in his gaze.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Bodi. Let’s go.” I ignore the grateful expression he shoots me as I strut to the elevator, and he closes up behind me.
When our eyes lock, my heart feels like it stops, and I press my back flush against the wall. He can take my breath away at the most insignificant moments, doing something to every fiber in my being.
We ride down and a few minutes later, we’re driving through the city in his red Charger. Even though he still won’t let me drive, sitting next to him as he does feels like this car is as much his as it is mine. Like the passenger seat is mine, and my spot is beside him no matter what.
I know it’s bullshit, but I take comfort in these moments, appreciating whatever weird relationship we seem to have built. As much as I feel a huge amount of desire for him, it’s also accompanied by a friendship I’ve never felt for anyone except my cousin. With Bodi around, I don’t feel alone. I trust him. And that is something no man has ever given me.
Ten minutes later, we arrive at Peartree Park, and we make our way through the deserted hallways and upstairs to his father’s room. It isn’t hard to figure out where we need to be, when we hear the blaring roars of his father. Bodi breaks out in a jog, and I follow behind him, appreciating the fact that I’ve put my Doc Martens on instead of my hooker heels.
He crashes through the open door, and I follow just in time to see how he falls to his knees in front of his father.
“Leave me alone, you demons!” The look on Mr. McKay is vacant and dark as he swings his arms around to get everyone off. As if he’s not completely conscious but completely captivated by his confusion. Two male nurses hold his arms back while a female nurse tries to soothe him with comforting words, but it isn’t until his gaze springs to the man jumping in front of his sight that he seems to somewhat snap out of it.
“Dad! I’m here!” Bodi shouts.
I register how he tries to stay in control of his voice, acting like the sensible grown up, but the distress seeps through, regardless.
“No!” Mr. McKay shouts in response. “Ava! Help me! Where is my wife?”
A sad feeling showers my body, feeling the pain of this man asking for his deceased wife rippling through my skin.
“I’m here, Dad! It’s me! Bodi!”
When he hears his son’s name, his expression softens, and I notice how he relaxes his muscles. After a few seconds, Mr. McKay seems to return when a sad yet relieved small smile forms on his lips.
“Bodi?”
“I’m here.”
The man rubs his hand over his face, then presses his fingers in his eyes as he tries to push back the tears. “What’s happening? I don’t know what is happening?” His voice breaks, and at the same time, my heart cracks. “Where is she?”
“She’s not here, Dad.”
Mr. McKay shakes his head.
“I know, Dad. It’s okay,” Bodi whispers. “You’re okay.”
He’s not. Nor am I.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” His weeps cut through me, and I gasp, pressing my hand against my mouth. The sight is heartbreaking, watching how this grown man seems to have completely lost touch with the world around him. The confusion in his words is tangible, and I wish there was something I could do.
“It’s okay, Dad. Don’t worry about it.” I hear how Bodi replies before a nurse moves in my line of sight. She gives me a small yet reprimanding smile.
“I’m sorry, miss. You’re going to have to wait outside.”
“Err,” I croak out, a little flabbergasted. “Yeah, of course.” I tilt my head to look past her. “Bodi? I’ll wait outside.”
He rears his head over his shoulder, and my heart cracks further when I see how glossed his eyes are. Oh, my god.
“No!” he barks, making the nurse’s eyebrows move to her hairline. “She stays.”
“But, sir, at this hour, only family is allowed.”
Clearly not in the mood for a discussion, Bodi’s gaze darkens and his upper lip moves up into a snarl that leaves no room for argument.
“I’m family. And she is with me .”
That shoudn’t make me feel ten feet tall, but it really fucking does, and I can sense my confidence growing with it.
The nurse takes a step back, conceding by silently offering me to step farther into the room while Bodi turns his attention back to his crying dad. My feet carry me toward him, and without thought, I rest my palm on his shoulder to show him I’m here for him as he sniffles while holding his dad’s hand. It feels completely natural to be there for him in any way I can, feeling special about how he is willing to share this with me. To show me the emotion he feels about his father’s condition.
Like he trusts me.
“It’s okay, Dad. I’m here,” he repeats.
Unexpectedly, one of his hands falls over mine and when his gaze moves up to me, I offer him a comforting smile that is matched by one of his own. His father notices my presence, and when he looks up, he wipes his nose with the back of his hand before a grin splits his tear-stained cheeks.
“You brought her again.”
“Yeah, Dad.”
“She’s pretty.”
“You already told her,” Bodi titters, and I let out a chuckle.
As if his grief melts in front of our eyes like snow in the sun, he lifts his chin and gives his son a reprimanding look. “A girl like that? You need to tell her she’s pretty every single day or they’ll find someone who will.”
Now that’s a wise man!
Jokingly, I slap Bodi’s shoulder. “Listen to your father.”
Bodi narrows his eyes at me with a ghost of a smile before he turns his head back to his dad.
“Don’t worry, Dad. I already told her how gorgeous she looks tonight.”
His dad’s eyes move up to mine, asking for confirmation, and I nod with a beaming smile on my face.
“It’s true.”
“Good boy,” he praises.
We all laugh, including the staff, before Bodi turns serious again.
“You okay now, Dad?”
There is still a lot of sadness in his eyes, but he plasters a smile on, probably for the sake of his son. “No, but I will be.”
“I’m going to talk to the doctor real quick, okay?” Bodi gets up and his green eyes trail to mine.
“Can she stay with me?” his dad asks, making me purse my lips in amusement.
“You want her to stay with you?” That same amusement is shown on Bodi’s lips, and when his dad nods in agreement, he lets out a short laugh. “Sure, she can stay here.”
Bodi’s hand moves up to cup my cheek, and my lips part from his touch.
“Are you okay with that?” It’s unexpected, making my heart swell, and I look into his forest eyes that show me nothing more than affection. I’m used to his craving and hungry looks, but the expression he’s giving me now means even more to me.
I drag my teeth over my lip, the scorching feeling of his touch making it hard to focus.
“Of course,” I finally push out while Bodi keeps his gaze on mine. “Go. I’ll entertain your dad.”
A trace of a smile graces his lips as his thumb strokes my cheek once more before he lets go. “Don’t give him a heart attack like you do me.”
“No promises,” I quip, and his hand slides to the back of my hand, the warmth closing my eyes as I revel in his touch before the heat of his lips on my forehead snap them open again.
“Of course not,” he smiles. “I’ll be right back.” Bodi and the rest of the staff leave the room, and I take a seat on the chair near Mr. McKay.
“Forgive me, darling,” he offers. “I forgot your name.”
“That’s okay. It’s Kayla.”
“Kayla.” He repeats my name as if it’s filled with redemption, and I can’t seem to wipe the grin off my face. “I’m sorry you didn’t get to meet me in my full glory.”
Oh, this sweet man.
“What do you mean?” I huff. “You’re looking pretty glorious to me!”
“Oh, please, child. We both know my best times are far behind me.”
“Nonsense, you still look amazing!”
“You sound like my wife.” He laughs. “She was always adamant about everything. A persistent little thing, she was.”
“She sounds like fun.” I smirk.
“She was.”
I place my hand over his, offering him a soothing look. “You must really miss her.”
“More than anything.” He has the same green eyes as Bodi’s, but his are now laced with a sadness that seems to have a permanent position. The pain of losing his wife settled deep in his heart like an open wound.
“Is my boy treating you well?” he asks.
I want to be honest and tell him we are not together, but part of me feels like I’ll be confusing him even more. It’s something I want to spare the man from, so instead I don’t point out the details of our relationship.
“He’s the best,” I say in full honesty. “He makes me laugh, makes me happy. He even cooks for me.”
He’s a fucking dream, and I’ve been fantasying what it would be like to one day find a man like that for my own. To share my life with. Have a couple babies.
“He does?” His brows shoot up in surprise.
“Oh, yeah! He makes the best lasagna.”
“Well, the bastard never cooked for me,” he complains with a smile.
“Maybe we can make that happen?”
“Make what happen?” I turn my head when Bodi walks back into the room, followed by the doctor.
“I was telling your dad about your amazing lasagna.”
“Did you now?”
I nod with a hum, and Bodi replies with a sweet smile, then squats down in front of his father again. “Dad, I talked to the doctor. We don’t want to blur your brain anymore, but since you seem to become more confused at night, we are going to give you some calming medication before bedtime, okay?”
His dad concedes with a grunt.
“The doctor is going to give you something so you’ll be able to sleep, yeah?”
Another grunt.
“I have to go now. Kayla and I have a party. Is that okay?”
“Yeah,” he hums, a little less moody this time. “Go have fun with your girl.”
“Are you going to be alright?” Bodi asks one more time.
“I’ll be fine.” His hand lifts in the air, brushing us out of the room, but not before Bodi wraps his arms around his father in a big hug.
“I love you, Dad.”
“I love you, too.”
When they break loose, I lock eyes with Mr. McKay, and he gives me a wink.
“I won’t forget your name anymore, Kayla,” he promises with a mischievous grin that makes me laugh.
“I’ll hold you to that, Mr. McKay.”
“Please, call me Terry.”
“Okay, Terry. Good night.”
We exchange another short wave while Bodi escorts me out of the room. He discusses some finalities with the doctors before we head down to get to the party, though I’m not sure I’m still in the mood. Seeing that man trapped in his body is doing something to my soul. I want to go back and read him a book or something.
Just do something to make sure he knows he’s not alone.
Bodi is here for him.
We’re here for him.
The car ride is silent, and for the first time, I keep my mouth shut, my gut telling me Bodi needs a moment to process his thoughts.
“I’m sorry about that,” Bodi tells me when he finally parks the car underneath the KPI building. His attention is directed in front of him, and his hands are still holding the steering wheel in a tight grip. There is worry and frustration on his face, and I imagine it must be hard for him to see his father like this.
Hell, it’s hard for me and I’ve only met the man once before.
“Don’t, Bodi.” I shake my head. “Your dad is great.”
He glances at me with an affectionate smile. “I’m glad you like him.”
“Ahem, didn’t you notice? He likes me too,” I say in a teasing tone to break the tension. “Maybe I’ll just run off with your dad.”
He slowly turns his neck and I stay still, my eyes nonchalantly focused on my lap. I expect him to growl. To bark. But what I don’t expect him to do is grab my neck and twist my head to face him with a possessive touch that almost has me gliding off my seat. When I peer into his eyes, they are dark and filled with that hunger I’ve become so familiar with. He licks his lips, then drags his tongue over the inside of his teeth.
“That’s not funny,” he rumbles.
“It’s a little funny,” I purr seductively.
His lips press together as he shakes his head. “You just want me to shut you up with my lips pressed against yours.”
“You got me.” I pause. “Is it working?”
He holds my gaze a little while longer before his hand falls from my neck.
“Let’s go, Kayla.” Without waiting for me, he exits the car and I stay, grinding my teeth.
“Goddammit,” I mutter.
Every single time.
So close. So damn close.