44. BODI
44
F irst I was anxious because I didn’t want to talk to her.
Now, a week later, I’m anxious that she won't talk to me.
I texted her the next day asking how her day was going.
Then I waited.
For a week, I’d been waiting for my phone to vibrate, lighting up the screen with her name. But it never did. After a very cold shower, a decent meal, and some Maine fresh air, Jensen booked us a flight home the day after my drunken meltdown.
I’d been talking to my uncle for most of my day, trying to rewrite history in my mind. I didn’t know my parents at all, which was nerve-wracking and heartbreaking all over again. But the stories Lucas shared about them the rest of the day were so filled with the love my parents had for each other that it also made me realize I want more.
I want to feel a love that consumes you, that tears you apart, but you keep coming back for more because you can’t live without it.
I want that.
I want Kayla.
She asked for time, and I will give her all the time she needs, but as the radio silence continues, I feel like she’s slipping away. More than I already pushed her. I’m even tempted to call Rae, but she’s still not talking to me and I know she won’t listen to me until I have a game plan.
I feel like an even bigger asshole, realizing she’s doing the same thing as I did to her for weeks, but it’s very hard to not fucking catch a plane and force her to talk to me. But she deserves whatever she needs. I know that.
So, instead of being an impulsive dick, I put on my big pants, and grab my phone.
BODI: What do you think is the best venue for the next charity ball?
I nervously tap the wood of my desk, staring at the screen as if my desperate energy will magically make those three dots appear. I jerk, almost dropping my phone when they actually do, and I wait in anticipation with a tremor in my fingers.
KAYLA: Are you trying to find an excuse to text me?
BODI: Maybe.
KAYLA: Piedmont Park. It could be an outdoor party.
BODI: That’s a great idea. Thanks.
KAYLA: You’re welcome.
I slowly push out a breath, relaxing my shoulders away from my neck. My fingers are aching to type another message, desperate to keep a conversation going.
Don’t push it.
Her reply is a good sign in general, and I should cherish my wins one day at a time. She needed time. But I know what she really means; you hurt me . I don’t trust you with my heart anymore .
Now it’s my job to show her otherwise.
Patience in galore.
Even if it’s killing me.
BODI: I’m watching Love Is Blind.
KAYLA: Liar.
BODI: I shit you not.
KAYLA: Why?
BODI: Wanted to see what you liked about those reality shows.
KAYLA: And?
BODI: I’m intrigued.
KAYLA: So am I.
KAYLA: So tell me, is love blind?
BODI: I think it could be.
BODI: I think I would fall for you in the pods without seeing you.
KAYLA: At least it would prevent you from using my age as an excuse.
BODI: I’m sorry.
KAYLA: I know you are.
BODI: Good morning
KAYLA: Good morning
BODI: Agnes misses you. She says hi.
KAYLA: I miss her too, tell her hi back.
BODI: I miss you too.
KAYLA: I miss you too.
BODI: Will you ever forgive me?
KAYLA: Probably.
BODI: I’ll take that.
BODI: What are you wearing?
KAYLA: Bodi!
KAYLA: I’m not going to sext with you.
BODI: You know you want to.
KAYLA: Good night, Bodi.
BODI: I wish I was lying beside you.
KAYLA: I wish you were too.
BODI: Good night, baby.
KAYLA: Good night.
BODI: *sent photo*
BODI: Got new sneakers.
KAYLA: Ugh, love them!
BODI: I love something else
KAYLA: I know, lasagna.
BODI: That’s a close second.
KAYLA: Smooth.
BODI: Can I take you on a date?
KAYLA: Kinda hard when you’re in a different state.
BODI: Nothing I can’t fix.
KAYLA: True.
BODI: Is that a yes?
KAYLA: Have a good day, Bodi.
The corners of my mouth are curled into a wide grin. It’s not a no. She’s making me work for it. But every time we’re sending messages back and forth, I can’t get rid of the smile on my face, combined with the addicted lightness that’s now floating through my heart.
I will win her back.
“What are you smirking about?” Jensen prances into my office like he owns the place, and my eyes widen a little, showing my surprise.
“What are you doing here?” I get up, pulling my best friend into a hug before he takes a seat in front of my desk.
“Wanted to check up on you.”
“You could’ve picked up your phone.”
“I know, but after your drunk escapades, I figured I wanted to look you in the eye when you throw me some bullshit.”
“That’s why Steve Jobs invented FaceTime.”
“Actually,” he drawls. “I’m pretty sure that was Roberto Garcia.”
“Since when are you the smart one?”
“Well, you’ve been acting like an asshole for weeks. I assumed it was expected I’d participate in this little roleplay. I watched a documentary or two.”
“I’m impressed.”
“Thanks. So is Rae.”
My wide grin lowers a little at the mention of his girlfriend. “How is she?”
“She’s good. Still wants to kick your ass, but still good.”
I rub the back of my neck, giving him a sheepish grin. “Yeah, I figured.”
“She’ll come around.” I nod.
I know Rae is just pissed about what happened between Kayla and me. I can’t really blame her. I’d be the same if Jensen pulled that shit with her. In fact, I was when he fucked it all up and he was on his knees to get her back.
Figuratively speaking.
The image of Kayla filters through my mind, remembering how we lured Rae to the stadium to get Jensen to win her back with a grand gesture. A massive display of affection in front of thousands of people.
“—of Kayla?”
“I’m sorry, what?” I smile at Jensen, trying to remember what he was saying.
“I said, is that contagious smile on your face because of Kayla?”
“Yeah,” I admit. “Yeah, it is.”
“So you two are talking again?”
“Sorta. We’ve been texting. She’s opening up, but it’s really, really slow, and I don’t know what to do about it.”
“Well, I’ll be damned,” Jensen mutters. “Bodi McKay, not knowing what to do, is like the weatherman telling us it’s going to snow in July.”
“That makes no sense,” I deadpan.
“Exactly!” he yelps, tittering. “You are not the one that sits by, waiting for whatever you want to come to you. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been the proactive one out of the two of us. I’m the one who needs a kick in the ass every now and then. So, get your fucking ass up so I can return the favor for once, or tell me what your plan is to get her back.”
I roll my lips, a smile on my face, because I know he’s right. I’m not the passive guy I’ve been for the last couple of weeks. The reason I achieve every goal I’ve set in my life is because I go after it. I take it.
“She said she needed time. I don’t want her to freak out,” I confess, the tone in my voice a little cautious and insecure.
“Is she replying to your texts?” he asks with his brows raised in a matter-of-fact-look.
“Yeah.”
“Is she flirting with you?”
“Sorta.”
“Then what the fuck are you waiting for? Girl wants you. You want girl.”
His cheery mood is infectious and the excitement seems to settle deep into my bones when I can’t find a reason why I wouldn’t try to get her back. Right now.
“Will you help me?” I look at him with a smug smile.
“Of course! What do you need?”
“A grand gesture.”
“Like what we did for Rae?”
My eyes glint. “Bigger.”
He nods his head. “I like the way you think.” Then cocks his head with a playful grin.
“What?”
He lifts his shoulder, then rubs a hand over his smirk. “You know, I know a feisty little blonde that could really help with that.”
“Oh, damn, Jensen.” I press my tongue into my cheek, suppressing a haunted smile. “You want my head on the chopping board, don’t you?”
“Nah, that would be Rae.”
I roll my eyes, my smile pushing through. “You think I should call her?”
“Go for it.” His smirk is way too evident.
“She’s gonna kill me, ain’t she?”
“Probably.” He crosses his arms over his chest.
Oh, what the hell. I’m already working my ass off to win one girl back, what’s another one? I’m gonna have to face the music at some point.
Shake my head, I empty my lungs, then hit some buttons on my phone, until the dial tone ricochets through my office, putting it on speaker.
“Bodi fucking McKay, finally grew a pair?” My blonde friend growls through the phone, instantly a laugh erupts from Jensen’s big mouth that’s muffled when he tucks his face into his black hoodie.
Brace yourself, buddy.
“Hey, Rae.”
“Don’t you fucking hey me. I fell in love with a fucking asshole, but you, you , you fucking topped him in the last couple of weeks! You’re like the asshole of all assholes. The king of assholeness. The fucking douche of douchebags! But not just that, no you’re a fucking idiot. I swear Jensen can be a dumb fuck if he tries hard enough.” Jensen pulls an indignant face, and now it’s my turn to stifle a laugh. “But YOU! Mr. I’m-the-fucking-smart-one. Clearly, fucking not! You’re lucky I haven’t seen your sorry ass yet or I’d be punching some sense into your nerdy face! She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you, you know that right?” She shouts.
“I know.”
“YOU KNOW!? Then what the fuck are you doing, you flannel wearing monkey! You let her walk out like it was nothing, then you ghost her for WEEKS, you don’t even answer your phone when your dad dies. It wasn’t even about you , she called for your dad but you had to be an egocentric prick! You absolute–”
Jensen gets up, unable to hold back his amusement, and snatches my phone from the desk. “Okay, little witch, I think he got it. I can take it from here.”
“Jensen?”
“Yeah, baby?” Jensen’s gaze connects with mine, eyes sparkling just like mine.
There’s nothing funny about this, and Rae has every right to be mad at me. But man, it swells my heart to hear her protect my girl so fiercely.
“I’ve been on speaker the entire time?”
“You sure were, baby. Thank you for the entertainment.”
“Jensen! You asshole!”
“No, no, baby. Don’t get off track now. Bodi is the asshole, remember?”
She grunts, and I can almost sense her eyes rolling from 500 miles away. “I will deal with you later. Bodi?”
“Yeah?”
“You hurt her,” she informs, her tone calmer this time.
“I know.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
“Win her back.” I pause, staring at my best friend. “You cool with that?”
She’s quiet as if she’s thinking it over, and I wait in anticipation.
As much as I will fix this with Rae just like I’m fixing it with Kayla, I really hope Rae is not going to make it as hard as my girl is making it for me. Even if I deserve every ounce of their adversary.
“You better be serious this time.”
I release the air from my lungs, though breathing doesn’t feel as heavy as it did a couple of weeks ago. “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life, goldilocks.”
“Do you love her?”
I swallow. I know the answer, but I planned to tell her first before anyone else. But I also know I want Rae on my team. I need Rae on my team.
“More than anything.”
An agreeing hum flies over the line, and I lift my eyebrows to Jensen.
Is that a yes? Maybe? I’ll think about it?
He shrugs, just as oblivious.
“Do you need my help?” She finally questions, and I breathe out in relief.
“Yes. Please .”
“Fine.” Her tone is still reluctant, but I’ll take it. “I expect your sorry asses back here before morning.”
“We’ll be there tonight, baby,” Jensen smirks, the love dripping from his gaze.
Lovestruck idiot.
“You have to stay with Hunter & Charlotte, Bodi. She can’t see you before we have a plan.”
“Yes, ma’am.” We say our goodbyes and Jensen hangs up while I toss a pen at his head. “Did you enjoy that, dipshit?”
“It was the highlight of my day.”
To be fair, it would’ve been mine if the roles were reversed.
I tap the desk, getting to my feet. “Okay, let’s go.”
“We’re going now?”
“Did you not hear your little devil wife? Our presence is expected and I’d prefer to get my girl back with my head still attached to my body when we get to that point.”
“She can be scary, can’t she?”
“Yeah, it’s way more fun when you are on the receiving end of that side of her.”
He trails behind me, and within moments, we walk in union toward the elevator, like two men on a mission.
“Agnes, I’ll be gone for a few days. Can you call me if anything important comes up?”
She eyes us suspiciously as we prance by, both with mischievous grins splitting our faces. “Where are you going?”
I half turn to meet her gaze with my smile never faltering. “To get my girl back.”
She snorts, shaking her head, but something fierce dances around her features.
“It’s about time.”