NICOLE
LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
I was still hurt that Callum seemed to close himself off to me once again. I‘d tried to go to the movies with Travis, but I ended up leaving while still standing in line for tickets. The hurt on my friend’s face as I quickly came up with a lame lie then fled, stayed with me even on my way back home to California. It was fall break, and staying in Chicago was the last thing I wanted to do.
I’d originally thought I might be lonely in the city but after only a few days there, I’d reunited with Callum. Since that day, I’d never been made to feel alone. He was all-encompassing, so time seemed to stand still whenever I was with him. When we would part, the truth would bitch slap me back to reality, much as it was now.
I still didn’t understand why Callum acted the way he had. He knew I had planned to return to California for a few days to see my mother, and I had thought he would spend some time with me before I left town for a few days. I was quickly proven wrong when he’d canceled our plans without a single reason why. Granted, my using Travis to make him jealous hadn’t been my finest moment, but thankfully I realized how wrong it was to accept his invitation before we ever made it into the theater. I’d gone straight home, and once there, I tried to message and call Callum, but he ignored those.
Now, I was in my brother’s car and so unlike myself that he noticed. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you so quiet other than the time you had your tonsils removed, Nic. What gives?”
“What are you talking about?” I turned to face my brother, who didn’t initially verbally respond and only gave me a shrug instead. I turned back to the window, and while he noticed some differences in me, I could sense he was no longer the same, either. Only, I think his were for different reasons than mine. “Do you come home often?”
Nicolai and I had always been extremely close to our parents. While he was in-state at college, I was thousands of miles away. I could very easily catch a four-hour flight back to Cali whenever I wanted, but it wasn’t the same. There was nothing more that I hated than sitting in crowded airports awaiting flights. My father and uncle shared a few private planes between them, but I rarely ever asked either to use them on me. They were for business use, so I kept my personal asks to a minimum.
“I don’t,” my brother told me, his voice jolting me back to the present.
“Why not?” If I was as close as him, I would be here all the time. When I realized that, it became clear as to why my mother wanted me in Chicago.
“She’s struggling, Nic. Dad is, too. I talk to them, and I know they’re hiding something from me, so I can only surmise that she is getting worse.”
Tears sprang to my eyes at the possibility that he was right, and the notion alone threatened to prick my closed eyelids. It was just as I expected, and it was moments like this when I cursed my mother’s strong-willed pride. “I don’t know why she’s doing this to us. ”
“It’s not our place to pass judgment,” is all he said before pulling up to the gated entrance of our family home.
I wanted to rail at him for being so nonchalant about the whole thing, but I knew somewhere deep inside of me that he was right. Our mother didn’t want us around to see her health decline, which was her choice. Was it the one I would’ve made? No, but it was hers to make, and not mine to judge. Nicolai pulled into the driveway once the gates opened, and I reopened my eyes to look over at him.
“God, I hate when you’re right.”
He smirked, then tousled my hair. “I’m always right, brat.”
It was all he said before parking the car. Soon, the two of us were inside and I headed down the hallway to my parent’s bedroom. Dominga had told me that my mother was asleep, but I wanted to sit with her like she used to do with me when I was younger. I knocked lightly at her door just in case she was awake, but when I heard no sound, I entered.
Careful to stay quiet, that best-laid plan was almost shot to hell when I looked over at her in the bed and gasped. I had to slam my hand over my mouth to hide my loud voice. Isabella Courtland was the most beautiful woman I had ever known, and I had never seen her in this state. I knew many patients lost their hair during chemotherapy, but she had worn a wig every time I had come home since she started treatment. Now, she was fast asleep, and seeing her without any hair was jarring to me.
I swallowed back an additional sob, then removed my hand from my mouth. There was a chair not far from the bed, so I quietly tried to move it over but when I got within a few feet of her, she opened her eyes. Surprise filled the blue depths, then shame.
“W-what time is it? I wasn’t expecting you for another few...” her voice trailed off as she scrambled upright, then frantically began feeling around for something. Realizing what it was, I quickly grabbed the wig of long, dark hair and handed it to her.
“It’s just after noon time, Mama.”
There was still confusion in her eyes, but I ignored it when she reached out for me. Crawling into bed with her, she pulled me into her arms. I noticed that she had become even more frail than she’d been on my last visit, and once again, I had to remind myself to school my features. She held me for several minutes, before lightly pushing me away.
“I need to prepare myself, baby. Do your Mama a favor and give me a few more hours to rest and get ready. Can you do that?”
I had just arrived and she was already trying to get rid of me. It wasn’t the same way Callum had most recently done so, and at least with my mother, I knew her motivation. I wanted to stay in her arms where I could forget my own troubles, but my wants didn’t trump her needs, so I slowly pulled away.
“I’ll go and do a little shopping, but I’m just a phone call away if you need me.”
The last thing I wanted to do was walk around a shopping mall, but I knew it made her happy to think I was out living my life like I had before her diagnosis. She would be so disappointed to know how closed up I have kept myself, even in Chicago, unless I was with him.
Men. Callum. I didn’t want to think of either, so I flashed her a watery smile and left the room. Unlike the private jets, I did have full use of any vehicle I wanted, so I grabbed the keys to my father’s Porsche and headed to Beverly Hills. I would do a little shopping while there, so it didn’t look like a lie to my mother, but that was all I planned to do.
An hour later, I was sitting at one of the small cafes watching the throngs of people bustling by. I often did this same thing when in Chicago, although I could blend in with them there where I couldn’t quite do the same here. Not even ten minutes had passed when the paparazzi noticed me. Normally, I hated when celebrities showed up while I was eating, but today I was hoping for anyone who would take the attention off of me. It must’ve been a slow day because I had looked up more than once to find others staring.
I dropped my head and pretended to study the menu, even though I already knew what I wanted. This small establishment was a landmark in North Hollywood. “I should’ve gone to Santa Monica,” I mumbled under my breath as a shadow covered me. When I raised my head intending to get rid of whoever it was that decided to bother me, my eyes connected with a familiar pair and I smiled instead. “Hey, you! I didn’t know you were going to be here, too.”
Travis grinned, then looked over at me. “Are you expecting anyone?”
“No,” I told him. “I was hoping to escape in here for a bit, but the local paps have ruined that idea. If you’re not expecting anyone, come and join me. I could use the company.”
“I actually saw you, and had called out to you, but you must not have heard me.” I didn’t. “I’d love to join you for lunch. Have you already ordered?”
I hadn’t, but the two of us rectified that pretty quickly. Travis was so easy to talk to, and I found myself telling him more about my mother. I knew he had lost his own father a few years ago, so we had that in common. He had also confided in me about how much he disliked his stepfather. It was no wonder he was in this neighborhood to blow off time rather than enjoying the beauty of his Santa Monica home.
After he finished his salmon and I finished my salad, we ended up sharing a slice of their famed red velvet cake. Once done, we ended up walking around to burn off some of the food. The weather was beautiful here, and I hated to go back inside once I got home, so I was thrilled when my mother sent a message letting me know dinner would be served outside in the lanai. My mood had dramatically changed, but I could sense Travis’s souring. Bumping his arm with mine, I smiled at him.
“If you’re not doing anything this evening, why don’t you join me for dinner at home.”
His face lit up, and I gave him my address, then we went our separate ways. I didn’t normally invite men home, but since Travis was just a friend, I didn’t see any harm in that. It wasn’t as if I could invite Callum. Just thinking about what my father would say or do to him made me wince. If Nico decided to join forces, it’d be a one-time only thing, and I’d be lucky to have Callum go anywhere with me again. There didn’t appear to be much chance of him ever coming to Los Angeles to meet the family, so I stopped thinking about it altogether and headed home.
A few hours later, I was staring at my father’s impassive face. “Daddy, he’s just a friend. There is nothing more going on.”
Judging by his face, he didn’t believe me. It didn’t matter that I was wearing a pair of yoga pants and baggy T-shirt, he still suspected something. Just when I thought I might have to plead more with him to behave and not grill Travis like he would a suitor of mine, he exhaled. “I trust you, Nicole.”
I would’ve been a lot more relieved if only his trust was misplaced. If he really knew who I was quasi-dating, he would either lock me up, or disown me, and maybe even possibly both. Since I needed to keep things with Callum a secret, I hugged my father, and another form of shame filled me. There wasn’t much time to wallow in it, however, because the doorbell rang and I knew it was my friend. Breaking free of my father’s embrace, I hurried to the door before Dominga could get there, then smiled brightly at the boy on the other side.
“Come in. Dinner is being set up outside on the lanai. ”
Travis followed me through the great room and out where everyone else seemed to be gathered. This was an intimate family dinner, so it was just my parents, brother, Travis, and me. Usually, Nico would invite whatever girl he was seeing that week. Tonight, he was flying solo, so all eyes were on me as we all sat down. My father started his inquisition, until my mother finally saw my silent plea and intervened. She was smiling, which was a huge contrast to earlier in the day, and dinner turned out well.