43. Lucia
forty-three
Lucia
I love baseball butts.
I mean… baseball uniforms.
Okay, really, I mean both.
But specifically on Ari.
I spent so long keeping my distance from him that I never noticed just how good his ass looks in baseball pants.
We literally had sex like an hour ago, and I’m already getting myself worked up again.
Focus, Lucia.
You’re at fucking work.
A breeze blows by then, making me shiver and forget about my fuck buddy’s incredible ass.
I love baseball, but I hate the weather at the beginning of the season. It’s late March, so the weather is unpredictable. This year, we’ve got a high of forty degrees for Opening Day.
At least there’s a small heater at one end of the dugout. Since I’m a trainer, I get to enjoy that benefit today.
I used to sit with the girls a lot during the games—Cole got Harlow and their parents a set of front-row season tickets right off the first baseline. It allowed me to be close enough to jump on the field when needed, so Dr. Coltrain didn’t mind if I spent some time over there.
Since Lane met Olive, though, I’ve started spending more time in the dugout with the other trainers so she can take the seat I used to use. I’ll talk to all the girls before the games, but I spend the games with the guys now.
At least I get along with all of them, with the obvious exception of Logan.
Though this is the first year I have one of the players frequently hitting on me, I don’t think Ari will really do that so brazenly in front of my coworkers and the rest of the team.
Knox pitches a 1-2-3 inning to start the game. I’ve only been following baseball for close to a decade—I was a huge soccer fan when I still lived in California—but I’ve never seen another pitcher like him. He has a rare talent that likely won’t be matched until long after he’s retired.
The Stars come up to bat now in the bottom of the first inning, and since Ari is batting leadoff today, he heads on over to the batter’s box and takes a few practice swings while the LA Suns starting pitcher gets ready.
Ari takes two balls and a strike before connecting on the fourth pitch, sending the ball just over the shortstop’s glove and into the shallow outfield. He makes it to first base easily, and the Stars officially have a hit to start the game.
Everyone in the dugout claps and cheers.
“Way to go, Ari!” I shout happily, and Cole comes to stand beside me while smirking. “Shut up, Pierce.”
He rears his head back and laughs. “God, you and Ari are so much alike.”
“That’s why we’re friends now.”
“I’m not here to interrogate you, Lucia,” he says gently. “I’m done trying to involve myself in this. You guys can figure out everything yourselves.”
I sigh. “I appreciate that. I already get it from your wife, your sister, Olive, and Ella.”
Cole chuckles. “Can’t say I’m surprised.”
We watch as Josh takes to the batter’s box, eventually striking out on four pitches. Lane heads up next, and since Cole bats cleanup, he heads over to the on-deck circle.
While they get ready, I walk through the dugout to talk to Rivas. He managed to take the starting job over Martin Scholl for this season, so he’ll be in the on-deck circle if Cole goes up to bat this inning.
“Arturo,” I say, snagging his attention. He walks over to me. “Remember to follow the plan I created for you. You looked a lot healthier during Spring Training once you started listening.”
He smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, I will. I’d prefer to not end up on the IL again this year.”
“Well, I can’t promise that,” I say, “but I can say that following the plan gives you the best opportunity.” We hear the smack of the bat and watch as Lane hits a double off the right field wall, sending Ari to third as he advances to second. “Get up there, Rivas. You’ve got this.”
He starts jogging backward on his way out of the dugout. “Thanks, Luc.”
I keep my eye on the field now, watching to see how the rest of this inning plays out.
“I don’t know what you did to get him to listen,” Dr. Coltrain laughs behind me, and I startle.
I put my hand to my chest to settle my racing heart. “I think he’s just finally realizing that if he listens, he’ll spend less time injured.”
“He looked a lot stronger during Spring Training, Lucia.”
“He did,” I reply. “He’ll have a great season.”
Dr. Coltrain eyes me. “As long as he keeps following your plan.”
“He’d do well without it,” I shrug, acting like I have no part in it.
“Not as well,” he asserts. “I made the right call having you create his plan. I think you have a knack for this.”
“Thank you, Dr. Coltrain,” I smile. “I just want to keep everyone healthy.”
“You’re doing great work.”
He moves past me toward the other end of the dugout, and I finally notice Logan standing behind him.
He’s seething right now.
“Beautiful day for a baseball game, isn’t it, Logan?” I say cheerily.
He rolls his eyes and stalks past me.
Enjoy your time of looking down on me, Logan.
I’ll make damn sure I’m your boss next year.
“Cheers!” we all say, clinking our glasses together.
The Stars managed a shutout over the Suns today. Ari ran in one of those runs when Cole batted in the first, and batted another run in during the seventh.
To celebrate, we found a dingy dive bar, and the ten of us gathered around the table.
We all take a sip of our drinks except Ella, who finally gets to enjoy a mocktail.
“This is the year,” Ari asserts with a smile on his face. “I’m winning the World Series this year.”
“November is going to be a busy month for Garro, then,” Knox chuckles.
Josh has a bright smile on his face. “I can’t fucking wait.”
“Your baby is going to be so fucking cute!” I squeal. “I’m so excited.”
“So are we,” Ella smiles, hand going to her non-existent bump. “Still have to carry little bean for at least another seven months, though.”
“Someone else’s turn now,” Josh teases. “Who else is gonna have a baby?”
He eyes all of us but Lane and Olive. We know the topic can still be really hard on her.
Rory laughs. “I already told the girls when we’re going to start trying. Looks like we won’t be pregnant together, after all, Ell.”
“To be fair,” she grins, “I didn’t think I’d be pregnant right now either.”
“What about the Spencers?” Rory asks, eyebrow cocked.
Harlow practically chokes on her drink. “We’ve barely been married two months, Rory. We’re not thinking about babies yet.”
Knox chuckles before wrapping an arm around his wife, a sly smirk on his face.
Cole eyes him in curiosity. “Not so sure your husband has the same feelings, sis.”
Lo whips her head toward her husband, and he just shrugs. “Knox!”
“What?” he laughs. “I have been thinking about it. You know I want us to have kids.”
Harlow blushes, just like she always does. “Yeah, but I didn’t realize you were thinking about that already.”
Knox presses a kiss to her temple. “Whenever you want, Freckles,” he whispers softly, trying to make sure no one else can hear. “I’m ready whenever you are.”
Josh takes the eyes off them and directs them at Ari and me. “You still want kids, don’t you, Luc?”
“Yes,” I reply softly. “I still want kids one day.”
“Your kids will be so cute,” Ella groans. “Olive skin and silky black hair.”
And Korean features, I think to myself, and practically fall off my chair and onto my ass because what?!
What the actual hell, brain?
Did I really just imagine that my kids would be with Ari?
Why the fuck am I even asking that?
Of course , I did.
The thoughts have practically been consuming me since we went bare on Saturday night.
I wasn’t sure I would actually have a breeding kink, but I very much do.
So does Ari.
Fuck, I can’t decide if this is good or bad.
Would I hate having Ari’s baby?
No, I wouldn’t.
To accept why that is, though, would mean I have to admit things feel less physical and a lot more emotional now.
Try as I might to deny it, we’ve clearly progressed beyond this being just sex.
But I don’t think Ari will be able to accept that.
He’s so determined to not let himself turn into his dad that he won’t let himself try a relationship with anyone.
I can live with that.
I hope.
“What about you, Ari?” Cole prods, now turning the question on the man I think I might be starting to fall for.
Ari heaves a sigh, and I ready myself for the pit in my stomach to form when he says he doesn’t.
That’ll just be the confirmation that Saturday was only a fantasy.
“Yeah, maybe,” he says softly, uncomfortably pulling at the label of his beer bottle.
“What?!” Cole shouts, so stunned by Ari’s revelation that he doesn’t notice everyone in the bar turning to look at us. “What do you mean, ‘yeah, maybe?’”
Ari shrugs. “I’m just… trying to keep an open mind. I think it could happen one day.”
To prevent myself from just gaping at him, I quickly stand up, announcing, “I’m going to go grab everyone some water. Game tomorrow, so gotta make sure we all stay hydrated.”
“Want some help?” Ari asks me, and I can see in his eyes that he’s pleading with me to say yes so he can escape the situation he’s found himself in.
“Yeah. Yes. Help would be good.”
We walk over to the bar in silence. I can feel all of our friends’ eyes on us as we do, but neither of us looks back at them.
We find an empty space at the end of the bar and slide in there, waiting for the bartender to come over.
We both stay quiet for a moment, but when it becomes awkward, I make myself say something.
“‘Yeah, maybe,’ huh?”
Ari laughs at my attempt to defuse the awkwardness before leaning closer to me and whispering. “I meant everything I said Saturday night, Lucia.”
I turn to face him, losing myself in the depths of his brown eyes. “You did?” I ask breathily.
“Every word.”
“Oh my God.”
The air between us is electric, sparks flying as we can’t take our eyes off each other.
Everything would have been easier if he had said he didn’t mean it.
Now, I don’t know what to do.
We can pretend, lean into the mutual kink we share. We’ll both be honest in expressing our wants when we do, but nothing can go beyond that.
I may want kids, but I want a partner, too.
That just isn’t Ari.
No matter how much I secretly wish it were.