49. Lucia
forty-nine
Lucia
“Is it weird that I’m nervous?” I ask, wringing my hands as I try to calm down.
Dr. Coltrain chuckles. “It’s normal that you’re nervous, Lucia. This is something new you’re doing.”
I take a deep breath and look around the room. A small lecture hall at Brooklyn College, where I’ll be speaking to the women of the exercise science program.
I’m so grateful for the opportunity to help get more women interested in what I do, but I’m also so nauseated I could throw up. I’m as outgoing and social as they come, but when it comes to speaking in front of a crowd, I get nervous, afraid I’ll end up saying the wrong thing.
I have a whole PowerPoint presentation for this with all of my talking points, so that should help, at least.
My heels click off the tile floor as I pace around, willing myself to not be so worked up over this. It’s only a presentation that, if it doesn’t go well, I’ll probably see my chances for Head Trainer go up in smoke.
No pressure.
“Why don’t you take a drink of water and go over your presentation again?” Dr. Coltrain suggests. “That could help your nerves. In the meantime, I’m going down to see the dean. I’ll be back before the students arrive.”
“Thank you,” I reply, walking over and taking a swig from my water bottle.
“You’re going to do great, Lucia.” Dr. Coltrain opens the door to exit the room but doesn’t make it into the hallway before he’s chiming in again. “Looks like you’ve got a friend to help you right now.”
I look over at him in confusion, but Dr. Coltrain has already left the room, and I watch as Ari steps inside.
Ari is here.
Why is Ari here?
More importantly, why is he here looking as good as he does right now?
He’s in a yellow dress shirt, for fuck’s sake.
“Hey, Spitfire,” he smiles, closing the door and crossing the room to come stand in front of me.
“What are you doing here, Ari?”
“I’ve watched you stress about this presentation since the season started a few weeks ago, Luc. I figured you could use a familiar face.”
I only realize he’s hiding an arm behind his back when he brings out a small bouquet of sunflowers. “Ari! What are these for?”
Ari chuckles and kisses my forehead. “Because you’re kicking ass in your career, and today you’re taking a big step to further that for yourself and all women. It’s fucking awesome.”
I bite down the biggest smile. “Sunflowers are yellow.”
“Very yellow.”
I gaze at him, catching the most tender look on his face. “Your shirt is also yellow.”
Ari moves closer, resting a hand on my hip. “And your dress is green.”
“It matches my jade necklace.”
He pushes my hair behind my ear. “You look beautiful, Lucia. Just like you always do.”
“You might actually be the sweetest man I’ve met, Ari.”
He smiles at me so happily. “I’ll wear that with pride then.” He leans over and gives me a soft and calming kiss. “I won’t distract you. I will be here, though, so you have someone you know. Someone out in the audience that’s so fucking proud of you for taking this step.”
One more kiss and Ari moves to the back of the room, letting me gather my composure so I don’t melt into a puddle before the students even come in.
I could say that it’s been a long time since I’ve felt the way I feel around Ari, but that would be the biggest lie.
Truth be told, I’ve never felt the way I do around Ari. He’s gone from somebody I couldn’t stand to somebody I want to spend all of my time with.
And it’s not as friends.
Hell, we had hardly even acknowledged that we were actually friends before these feelings started.
I’m not alone in these feelings, and I know it.
Ari just brought me a bouquet of flowers after he showed up somewhere I didn’t expect him to.
That’s not something a “friend” would do.
That’s something a partner would do.
It’s clear as day that Ari feels some type of way about me.
The problem is just that I don’t know if he’ll ever be willing to do anything about it.
“Sports are still largely dominated by men, but we belong in those same spaces.” I walk across the room, head held high.
Apparently, I’m far less nervous once I start speaking on a subject I’m passionate about.
“Women’s sports are finally gaining the popularity they’ve always deserved.
Take Zhuri Hart, left winger and captain of the Denver Dragons.
She might single-handedly be why women’s hockey is everywhere you look.
The Women’s Hockey League is drowning in sponsorships and viewership because people are finally giving women the respect they deserve in these spaces.
“But I don’t want you to think that’s exclusive to athletes because it isn’t.
The rise of women working in sports has been slow but steady.
We’re seeing women as coaches, staff, and everything in between.
Women like me working to help train and care for the athletes.
Each one of you here has the capability to do that.
Honestly, we don’t have enough female trainers.
The Stars are an incredible organization that I’m proud to work for, but I’m the only female trainer on our staff.
That’s been true for the near-decade I’ve been in my job.
And that’s not a slight on the Stars—we just don’t have many women applying for these positions.
“You’re all here right now because you’re women in a male-dominated field, but you’re all setting yourselves up to take a similar career path to mine.
Exercise science is one of the best degrees you can obtain if you want to work as an athletic trainer.
You’re all in undergrad still, so you have time to figure out what you want to do, but when you get to decide on graduate programs, I hope some of you do consider taking this step.
The athletes I work with are incredible and supportive, as are many of the others.
It isn’t just women who want to see more women in sports—you’re going to have support from a lot of men, too.
“So slide into your favorite pumps and shatter that glass ceiling. You’re going to do incredible things.”
I let out a breath and take a drink from my water bottle. I’m parched after such a long-winded speech.
I glance at the back of the room and see Ari’s bright smile. He’s hung onto every word I’ve said today, so focused and attentive. Having him here means so much to me.
“I’d be happy to answer any questions you have.”
I pull myself up to sit on the desk, crossing my legs at the ankles as I look out at the young women in front of me.
These girls are the future of this career, and I truly hope some of them go for it.
“How did you end up working for the Stars?” a girl in the back asks.
“Well, I grew up in California, but I went to school on the East Coast. I did my undergrad at Ithaca College in New York. I knew I didn’t want to go back to San Diego—I wanted a change.
I loved my time at Ithaca, so I decided to see what I could find in New York in the career path I wanted, and that was to work in sports.
I was a die-hard soccer fan, so that was my initial goal, but I applied to the Stars, and the rest is history. I wouldn’t want to work anywhere else.”
A woman in front pipes up now. “How long did it take you to become an athletic trainer?”
“That’s something that will be different to many people,” I answer.
“I actually started young—I was only twenty-two when I was hired—but that was because I had already completed everything I needed and got my certification. My experience is far from everyone’s.
I worked hard in high school, and I managed to graduate a year early, so I started at Ithaca when I was only seventeen.
I completed my coursework in three years and graduated with my Bachelor’s degree in Exercise Science when I was twenty.
From there, I enrolled at George Washington University in DC, and I took the standard two years to obtain my Master’s degree in Athletic Training.
I passed my boards that summer, so I was a board-certified athletic trainer by the fall.
That was all that was needed when I started out.
As of recently, the state of New York requires you to have a license to practice as an athletic trainer, so I have that now as well. ”
“Do you think you’ll always be the only female trainer on your staff?” another woman asks.
I smile and shake my head. “I don’t. I know one day we’ll have more women join us—maybe even one of you right here. That’s a day I’m looking forward to. For now, I’ll keep doing my job while I wait for someone else to come in.”
The questions keep flowing, and I answer every single one of them, giving each of these women a thorough response. I want to offer them complete transparency.
I’d consider today a success. I’m sure all of these women won’t go down this career path, but I could see the determination of some of them. I could see the interest, and I hope I get to work with them one day.
Throughout the entire day, Ari just sits silently in the back, eyes focused on me with the brightest smile on his face.
Ari showing up today—with a bouquet of sunflowers, no less—just confirms what I already suspected.
I’m falling harder for him than I ever have for anyone else, and there’s every possibility that I end up hurt.
But if there is even the slightest chance that he’ll take that leap of faith with me, I’ll take it.
He’s worth the risk because the reward will be oh so sweet.