13 The Recovery
Beau
I headed into our bedroom, where Dash was peacefully sleeping. He had rested more today than he had over the past couple of days. His care team must have tired him out. Duke and Dixie were quietly lying on their beds, staring out the large window to our backyard, until I came inside the room. I tossed my baseball cap on the dresser, and tore out of my T-shirt, throwing it closer to the bathroom. Then I went to the dogs, bending and taking the few minutes—maybe ten—to quietly pet, and love on each one. They were remarkable creatures. I’m not sure how I sensed it, maybe it was through Duke’s heartbeat or the way his head fell between my crossed legs, but Duke felt calmer. Dixie scooted against the length of my thigh, content that we stay just like that through the night.
“How much longer until you join me in bed?” Dash murmured in the quiet of the dim room. Dixie lifted her head to the voice then stood. Not in her normal rambunctious way, but cautiously plodding to Dash’s side of the bed.
“I didn’t mean to wake you. They looked like they needed some attention,” I said, getting to my feet.
“I think you were right,” he replied. “I may have overdone on my first night home. I hope it doesn’t set me back. I’m exhausted.” He snaked a hand out of the heavy blanket to reach for Dixie’s head. “I miss my old life.”
“You’ve been through hell, Dash. It’s important to give yourself a break, reevaluate in a couple of weeks,” I said, dropping my shorts where I stood. I kicked those toward my T-shirt and pushed back my side of the blanket. I left our bedroom door open, allowing the dogs to roam free. My fingers went to Duke’s head, scratching behind his ear. “Do you need anything before I lie down? A sip of water?”
“No, I’m fine. The catheter makes me uncomfortable. I hope they remove it tomorrow.” Dash stared at the ceiling as I climbed into bed. It was always cold inside this room.
“Do you need more blankets?” I asked.
“More than the five covering me?” He chuckled. Apparently losing thirty pounds hadn’t messed with the internal heat he always generated. “Come closer. It’s been too long since we slept together. I don’t like it. You make me believe everything’s going to be all right, or that I’m safe, or whatever I feel.”
I scooted closer, finding his hand. His sleeping position had been set up at a pretty decent incline to help with his lingering cough. I tucked my free hand under the pillow at my head. I needed to be closer, and lifted his hand to his lips, pressing against his scaley skin. Something else I needed to work on.
“I wanted to be home,” Dash started, his face turning to mine. “But now, I’m not sure if it’s good for the children to see me this way.”
“I disagree,” I said. “We’re a team. A family. We need each other. They were beginnin’ to act out. West, our mild-mannered little guy, was fussy most of the time. They needed you home. And now you’ll have three little nurses tryin’ to take care of you, and West scootin’ on his belly to get to you.”
“What if I don’t get better?” Dash asked, his brows wrinkled, his handsome face turning to stare at the ceiling. I watched his Adam’s apple bobble as he swallowed the worry he was having.
“You’ve come so far, Dash. I think they expected the worst but here you are. There’s no reason to think you won’t return to your old self. Have you met you? You’re pretty stubborn,” I said, trying for a laugh. I didn’t get that, but he managed the faintest of smiles.
He swiveled his head back to me. “You shouldn’t have to be a nursemaid to me. You have UPS, the charter company, this family.” That was all his lungs could handle, and he took deep breaths and closed his eyes.
“I’m on leave at UPS. I have six weeks off and a gazillion hours of vacation and sick leave. Scott’s got the business taken care of. He says we’ve been busier than ever. His old man wants to invest in us with a substantial deep-sea boat. We’ll be able to offer expensive charters. Our company seems to be doing good.”
“Listen to me, Beau,” Dash started with labored breaths. “You, Amelia, and our children are taken care of if something happens to me.”
“Dash, stop. You’re on the other side of this health deal. Save your breath.”
“Beau. I need you to promise me that when my time comes, you’ll seek happiness. I don’t need to ask you to watch our children and Amelia, I know you will.” A tear slipped from the corner of his eye down his temple. I could hear the fear and weariness in his labored breaths. A second tear followed. “Since the first second I saw you, all I’ve wanted is your happiness, and I hoped that was with me…”
The words ignited a frenzy of hysteria that caused a scrambling chaos over every inch of my body. I rejected him discussing my greatest fear. Instinctively, I responded with a barely audible “ pfft. ” Of course, I’d never find another. Dash was irreplaceable. As his tears continued to fall, I had to stop them before another round of coughing tortured his body.
“Yeah, right. Tell your lies to someone else. I doubt my happiness was ever on your agenda. What you truly wanted was to prove your soulmate theory was correct, and your resoluteness to make it happen. I never stood a chance against you. And if you think you’ll look down at me with peace as I kiss another dude…hahaha.”
The tears stopped. Dash grinned a big, toothy smile, continuing to stare at the ceiling. “Your bad memory messed with my manipulative, selfless speech where I ensured you only thought of me until we were together again. You hooking up with someone else is gonna piss me off in the afterworld. And whatever I can do to show my anger at you, I will. That’s the truth.”
I propped myself on my elbow to better see his face. It took a second or two for him to glance my way. “If you leave me, I’m hookin’ up with Stone on your desk in your office. He’s packin’. Don’t think I didn’t notice.”
“How do you know he’s gay? I’ve seen no evidence?” Dash said, not with accusation, only genuine curiosity. I leaned in further and gently kissed his lips. “He watches your ass too long. I can’t blame him. It’s a great ass.” We shared that look of understanding that close couples did all the time. “I think I’m done sports climbin’. For the whole trip, I missed my family. And I like a real bed.”
“Hmm,” Dash murmured. “I missed you.”
“Again, you’re lyin’,” I said and dropped back to my pillows. “From the second I left, you grew sicker and sicker. You were down almost immediately.”
“Remember when you used to take everything I said at face value?”
“No, I don’t remember that time,” I answered honestly. “I believe I knew you were full of it from the start.”
Dash’s hand tightened around mine. “Hmm. You sure made me work for us from the beginning.”
“Stop bein’ chatty. Go to sleep, reserve your energy. I’ll handle us until you’re back solidly on your feet.”
His fingers threaded through mine. “Thank you.”
“You made me repeat in sickness and health twice during our vows. I think you had foresight that you’d needed double the care than me. As my attorney, doesn’t that mean false pretenses?”
He softly chuckled, echoing me. “I remember you saying in the hospital that we could have more children. Maybe three more.”
In my mind, I thought of a baby, meant one. I let it ride for now. Not too much longer, he fell asleep.
The following day
Of course, Dash didn’t hesitate to overdo it, again. The sigh that left my body was a full-length deal that ended with an exhausted groan. That man might honestly be the most frustrating human being on this planet.
It was hard to assess whether he had regressed from all the activity yesterday, but he sure hadn’t gotten any better. I began to draw lines with him, and since I had to help him move around the house, it actually worked.
I left Dash in bed as I followed my mom, Carter, and Kailey out the front door so we could talk. Those tasked with watching Dash, namely, all our children, and dogs, and Amelia were set straight on the importance of following my instructions and not Dash’s. But getting outside with these three gave me a quiet chance to give my sincere appreciation to Carter without adding my emotionally overloaded husband to the mix.
I stood a couple of feet from my mom and Carter who were in a tight embrace. Kailey stood beside me, seemingly as uncomfortable as I was. “Do they do this a lot?” I asked.
“Yeah,” she said, taking her cell phone from her back pocket. She lived an easy, sheltered life, but she was also getting old enough to become a real human being. Meaning, she played age-appropriate games on her phone. “But you and Dash do that stuff longer than they do. It’s all kind of gross. I don’t like the idea of exchanging spit. I’m not going to be that way.”
I chuckled at the truth of her tone. We’d see what happened. “I felt that way too when I was young. I wanted to be a fisherman on TV. Scott and I planned to have our own show.”
She smiled at me. “You’re close. Dory told me that you and Uncle Scott had a YouTube channel that got lots of views. Maybe turn that channel into a fishing channel. Put cameras on the boat and make TikTok videos too.” She shrugged like it was the simplest thought. And it was. Scott and I had done a few small videos for advertising on Facebook, but we were missing most of the social media that the world watched. Huh. Maybe the kid was onto something.
“Bye, Kailey,” my mom said, coming to her, worry and fatigue on her face, as the private car turned into the circle driveway. “I’ll see you here on Thanksgiving then we’ll all travel home together. Be good for your dad.” Her tears sounded in her tone. She should be going home with them, I’d tried to get her to go, but she’d insisted on staying until Dash truly began to be better.
He required a lot of work from all of us right now.
“But you get to be with Beau,” Kailey said, her brows knitting together at her mom’s tears. “You miss him all the time. I don’t understand why we haven’t moved closer to him. This is where you grew up, Mom. Dad goes everywhere to work. I could go to school at the one the girls go to.”
“You’re right, baby,” she said, gathering Kailey into an awkward hug, squeezing her body tightly. Her one arm went one way, the other another way, and her upper body arched into mom’s. None of those positions appeared natural. “Talk to your dad about all that, okay?”
“She still hugs me the same way so get used to it.” I winked at Kailey, always aware of the connection she and I shared, the one our mother created and nurtured to remain sure and strong. My arms crossed over my chest, holding in the warm feelings these two always created inside me.
“Mommma, stop! You’re pulling my hair. We’re gonna be back next week.” I didn’t blame my sister, I’d have knocked out of that hold seconds ago. And our mom didn’t care or release Kailey until the back door of the car opened. As a group, we meandered toward Carter.
“Thank you for everything you’ve done,” I said, sticking out my hand to him. He took it, but shook his head no at my appreciation.
“This is what family does, Beau. Dash and I are incredibly close. And you’d be there for me in the same way.” His words interrupted my genuine appreciation, winding us back a few years when Carter hadn’t been my favorite person. My grin beamed my truth. “All right, Dash would take care of me in the same way, and he’d insist you be there with him.”
“That I can agree with,” I said, chuckling lowly. Carter drew me into a hug. “You’ve come in and saved the day several times for us. If not for you, Dash would be a used car salesman. Thank you for his life, mine too.”
Wow. Where had that come from?
No lie that I’d never uttered such an oath aloud before.
Carter liked my joke, grinning. His head tilted, leaning forward to talk quietly. “I just received a call from the Harris County Public Health Department. Contact tracers have found others ill in the same way as Dash, in the family he represented. Two members have died. One’s still in the hospital. Another only had cold-like symptoms. The rest of the family was unaffected. Whatever’s happened, it’s become a bigger deal. I’ve asked them to contact me until you or Dash are ready to take this on.”
“Is it Ebola or somethin’ like that?” I asked.
“I don’t believe so, but I don’t believe they know what it is either.” He stopped speaking and reared back to allow Kailey inside the backseat of the car.
“Dad, tell Mom we’ll see her in seven days, so she stops crying,” Kailey said. “And we need to move here. It’s better than Northern Virginia, and Mom won’t miss Beau, and all the rest of them.”
She dropped it like it was hot while playing her game on her phone.
“Pretend like you love me, Beau,” she said dramatically, giving me a tight side hug. It was something she said and did regularly to lighten the mood, but the tears clogging her voice made it more pathetic than any other time.
“I’ll call you tonight,” Carter said, getting another quick kiss from his wife, before ducking inside the vehicle.
“I think we need to move New Year’s Eve to New York City this year,” my mom said, tugging tissues from her jeans pocket.
“Oh no. Not flyin’ four small children to New York City to celebrate a fireworks show with the four small children previously mentioned. Especially when I can give them sparklers in the backyard and they’re just as happy.” The tease landed like I hoped, everyone chuckled.
“I never looked at it that way,” my mom said, beaming up at me. “I wanted to make memories. You have memories with your grandparents.”
“Huh.” I winked down at her. “We never went anywhere except here. And Mia might have a chance at skippin’ a stone properly, but if a frog hops by, she’s gone, hoppin’ away with it. But the roughly ten acres behind us has come up for sale.” I pointed over my shoulder with my thumb.
“I hear you. I hear all of you,” Carter said, reaching for the car door to shut in our faces. He lowered the window, adding, “Let’s get Dash well then go from there.”
On that note, the car drove away. Once it was out of sight, we finally turned toward the house. She held on to me tightly. “I never said it, but the way Dash kept declining so quickly, I was afraid this wasn’t going to end well.” She untangled from me, wiping the tears under her eyes. “I didn’t let myself go deeper. I tried to be present in your place, but now that he’s safe at home, on the mend, it’s all emotionally overwhelming. I love that guy.”
“I think he’s overwhelmed too,” I said, slowly climbing the steps as she trailed behind me.
“I’m not overwhelmed. You are,” Dash called hoarsely with humor through the open living room window. My eyes narrowed, seeing him clearly. He was supposed to be in bed where I’d left him, and he’d outsmarted me again. Now I had to remember to push that wheelchair out of reach.
“I like the idea of them moving closer.” I lifted my finger, shaking it at him.
His I-got-you laughter was music to my ears.