Chapter 25 – Emika
Sergei dropped me off at the train station, the wide concrete space humming with noise and motion. Adrik had instructed him to take me wherever I wanted to go. He would’ve done so himself, but I figured he wanted to give me some space.
The look in his eyes when he found me packing revealed the pain he tried so hard to mask. My decision to leave hurt him more than he cared to admit, and I could see right through him. I was able to read him like an open book because I was familiar with his pain.
As a man, he’d been trained to keep his emotions in check—never to express his feelings. But today, he’d come so close to breaking down. I saw it: the vulnerable version of him, his heart broken into pieces.
I hadn’t meant to hurt him.
However, I needed some time to think—to find myself again. Richard’s greed had almost gotten me killed so many times. The man who was supposed to be my grandfather was the mastermind behind my pain and misfortune.
The man who was gradually stealing my affection—the one I’d killed for—turned out to be my father’s murderer. It was all just too much for me to bear. The weight was too heavy to carry, and I simply needed time to get my act together.
Maybe I would find peace and clarity in solitude. Maybe it was best to stay away from Adrik and all the chaos that came with being a part of his world. Honestly, at this point, I wasn’t sure of anything at all. I was just doing what I thought was right for me.
“I don’t mean to pry, but…” Sergei said, stealing a glance at me through the rearview mirror, “…are you sure you want to leave?”
An approaching train blared its horn in the distance, making the ground tremble slightly.
He continued, “It’s not my place, but trust me, your presence in the mansion has changed my boss in ways I never thought possible.”
I hesitated, letting his words sink in for a minute. “Did he put you up to this?”
He let out a quiet scoff. “Chances are, he’d kill me if he found out I even said anything.”
I drew a deep breath, unable to suppress the faint grin on my lips.
“He cares about you, you know,” he added. “He sucks at showing it. But he does.”
I met his gaze, my expression softening by the second. “Why are you telling me this?”
“Because I’ve never seen him put anyone or anything above himself,” he answered. “With you, he broke that rule.”
My gaze shifted to the small crowd outside, my heart aching in my chest.
“Now, I might not know anything about love,” he continued, his tone low and even. “But I’m pretty sure it’s selfless. It protects. It provides. And it respects decisions.”
Sergei just listed all the qualities Adrik had exhibited over the past few days. He wasn’t wrong; the man had indeed changed. But this wasn’t about him. It was about me.
“Goodbye, Sergei,” I said to him.
He gave me a curt nod and watched me climb down from the vehicle.
I took the next train to my mother’s apartment, and all through the ride, the weight of my choice pressed down on me. I knew this was the right thing to do and that I was on the right track. Pun intended. Yet I couldn’t stop wondering how this action might be affecting Adrik.
After months, I’d finally gotten the freedom I craved. But it didn’t come with the excitement I’d expected. Instead, it came with this gnawing pit in my stomach, this void that nothing seemed to fill.
The cab pulled up by the pavement and then drove away after dropping me off at my mom’s. I stood on the sidewalk, watching the small apartment building staring at me at a short distance.
I drew a deep breath and walked toward the building, my suitcase being dragged along the pavement. With a spare key, I unlocked the door, a wave of nostalgia hitting me as I strolled inside.
The place was quiet. Very quiet.
Everything was intact, and nothing was missing—well, except for the one woman who brought life to the house. My mom. This was going to be tougher than I imagined, living all by myself again in a house without a soul.
I took my things upstairs, settled in, and began cleaning up the place to clear my mind. I spent the next few hours thinking and brooding under the guise of cleaning. At the end of the day, I was mentally and physically exhausted.
After I was done, I had my bath, returned to the living room, and fell asleep on the couch.
***
A few months later, I was already starting to pick up the pieces of my old life. I’d gone back to school to finish my law courses, however different and difficult it was. For some reason, it seemed harder to fit back in after only a few months of being away.
With each passing day, that emptiness in my heart, that void, just kept getting bigger. Nothing could fill it. I was lonelier than ever. No friends. Nobody to talk to except my mother.
Unknowingly, I’d built a wall around me, one that kept people at a distance. Even those who tried to get close or ask where I’d been this whole time sensed that my energy was off. I wasn’t rude to anyone. I just didn’t like it when people asked me so many questions about my private life.
That day, after class, while minding my business as usual, a classmate approached me.
“Emi, hi,” he greeted me, materializing by my side.
“Hello,” I answered without slowing down, my eyes fixed across the busy hallway.
“You recognize me, right?”
“It’s Josh, isn’t it?”
“Yep.”
“What do you want?”
“You know you don’t have to be so cold all the time.”
“I know.”
He rushed over to my front, blocking my path.
I stopped in my tracks, my brows knitting together. “What’re you doing? Get out of my way.”
“What happened to you?” he asked, his voice low but laced with concern. “You disappear for months and then reappear as a completely different person.”
Glimpses of the violence and chaos I’d survived flashed in my head, reminding me of the world I left behind.
“Last time I checked, we’re not even close,” I said to him.
“We don’t have to be for me to notice. And I’m not the only one who has,” he answered. “I’m just the only one with the balls to say something about it.”
“Good for you.” I tried to pick up my pace.
“Emi.” He blocked me again. “This isn’t you.”
I sensed the eyes on me; other students were already looking at us.
“The Emi we used to know was deeply principled, but she was also very friendly. She wasn’t cold and…mean.”
I paused, unsure of how to reply. “People change, Josh. People change.”
He let out a quiet sigh. “Whatever you’re going through, I hope you figure it out.” And with that, he walked away from me.
I clenched my jaw, hating this bitter, lonely version of myself. I was becoming a terrible person, cold and mean. And there was only one person who fit that description.
Adrik Tarasov.
I’d left him. I’d left his mansion and his world behind. Yet I still carried a piece of him with me everywhere I went. The main reason I’d left was that I was becoming a woman I couldn’t recognize. I’d thought maybe leaving would change things back to the way they used to be.
But so far, nothing had changed. Instead, it seemed to be getting worse.
As I stepped out into the parking lot, I spotted a black SUV parked across from me. My heart skipped a beat as a tall man in a black suit stepped out. At first, I could’ve sworn it was Adrik, and I was already weak in the knees.
My pulse was racing, and my breath hitched in my throat. Did he come to get me? What was he doing here?
I wasn’t sure how to feel about his presence. Scared, mad, anxious, or happy? I stood there frozen, my books held against my chest as my heart pounded in anticipation.
However, when he turned around, my expression darkened with disappointment. It wasn’t him. It was some random guy who looked like him from behind.
I cursed myself for falling for that, for hoping it was him. Leaving his mansion had been my decision, and I should learn to live with it.
I got into my car and drove straight to the hospital. When I got there, the nurse told me my mom was out in the garden with a few other patients.
She was getting better by the day, and that alone was all that mattered to me. According to the doctor, if she kept up this progress, she’d be discharged in no time.
I spotted her sitting on a bench under the oak tree’s canopy. She wasn’t alone. A man was keeping her company, another patient named Greg. This wasn’t the first time those two had spent hours together.
She told me he was just a friend. But the smile on her face whenever he was around said otherwise. One thing was certain: Greg made her happy.
Looking at them right now, my heart melted. She was laughing so hard at his jokes that tears dotted her eyelashes. He tucked her hair behind her ear, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
She looked really happy, and after all she’d been through, she deserved it.
I hadn’t told her about Richard’s death, nor had I mentioned the truth about my father. The timing wasn’t right. I would tell her when she was better. But for now, I couldn’t steal her joy; I couldn’t bring myself to ruin her happiness.
Hypocrite! a quiet voice whispered in my head. You’re mad at Adrik for keeping important information a secret from you. But you’re doing the same with your mother.
Damn, that stung.
I closed my eyes and shoved that voice to the back of my head.
“Hey, Emi!” Mom waved at me.
I beamed at her and headed toward the bench. “Hi, Greg,” I greeted him.
“Hello.” He nodded at me.
“How long have you been standing there for?” Mom asked, staring at my face.
“Oh, just a few seconds.” I shrugged my shoulders.
“I’ll, uh….” Greg rose to his feet. “I’ll leave you two now.” He patted my mom’s arm and walked away.
“So…” I began, my lips curling into a small smile. “Greg, huh?”
“Don’t even start.”
“I’m just saying, he’s cute.” I took his place beside her. “And caring too.”
“I’ve told you before, we’re just—”
“Friends,” I cut her off, leaning against the backrest. “I hear you.”
We laughed lightly, our shoulders trembling in sync.
“How are you?” she asked, her voice soft and tender.
My smile gradually vanished from my face, replaced by something plastic. “Never better.”
I sounded just like Adrik.
Fuck.
She took my hand, her eyes boring into mine. “You do realize that as your mother, I’m the one person who can see through your lies.”
I hesitated. “I’m not lying.”
“Your eyes.” She placed a palm on my cheek. “They don’t seem as bright anymore.”
I pressed my lips into a thin line, refusing to let those emotions back in.
“Do you know what I see when I look at you?”
“What?” I asked, curious.
Mom held my gaze. “A strong, independent woman who’s survived what’s killed others.” She paused, watching me closely. “But that’s what’s on the outside.”
“And on the inside?” I indulged her.
“You’re lonely.”
I felt my tear glands start to fill up and began rapidly blinking.
“Just like I was before Greg,” she continued, her fingers locked around mine. “You’re too young to be alone, Emi—too young to carry the weight on your shoulders.”
I lost the battle against my tears.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured. “I’m sorry that I’m not strong enough to help you with this weight.”
“What’re you talking about?” I burst into sobs.
“I wasn’t born yesterday,” she answered. “I know you can’t tell me what’s eating you up because you’re worried about my health.” She wiped my tears with her thumb. “I wanna hear you out so badly. But I know my daughter. No matter what I say, you won’t speak until you think I’m ready to handle it.”
I drew a deep, long breath, trying to be strong. “It’s nothing serious, Mom.”
“It has something to do with that young man, doesn’t it?” she asked. “The one you came here with months ago.”
I hesitated. “We’re…we’re not really on speaking terms.”
“Can I ask why?”
I chuckled, gently squeezing her fingers. “Let’s save it for some other time.”
“I’ve never met someone as secretive as you.” She tapped my face.
“And I’ve never met someone as understanding as you.” I slipped into her arms.
She wrapped her hands around me and began rubbing my back. “Emi…don’t be like me. Don’t end up living a life of regret and loneliness,” she said quietly.
Those words touched the deepest parts of my heart, and suddenly, I began questioning my choices. Had I overreacted when I left the mansion? Was I truly free? Was this even what I wanted for myself?
My mom was getting better, I’d gone back to school, and I was free from that life of violence. This was everything I thought I’d wanted. Why did I still feel so empty?
The answer to that was simple.
I missed him.
I missed Adrik Tarasov.