Chapter 27 – Emika
One year.
That was how long it took me to get my act together, to gather back the pieces of what had been broken. It took a lot of effort to finally find myself again: my spark and the kindness that made me Emika Morgan.
My classmate, Josh, played a huge role in reshaping me into the woman they all knew me to be. We became close over time, but even at that, I was still as secretive as ever. Nobody knew too much about me because I only shared fragments of what I decided should be public knowledge.
My friendship with Josh was strictly platonic. No weird emotions or anything like that. He had a girlfriend in Fine Arts, Tiffany. She hadn’t liked me at first because in her mind, I was pretty enough to snatch her boyfriend.
It wasn’t until recently that she began loosening up around me after she realized that I had no interest in Josh.
No offense. But eww.
He wasn’t bad at all. In fact, he was a ladies’ man; tall, clean-shaven, pale blue eyes, and a lean, athletic frame. Plus, the boy was a genius, not to mention assistant captain of the football team.
Josh was like a mini celebrity, loved by many, disliked by a few. And even until now, I’d yet to understand why he chose to be my friend all of a sudden. We’d spent years in the same class and never spoke to each other.
Yet, out of the blue, he showed up for me when I was falling to pieces and was losing myself. He took a chance on me, tolerated my bad behavior, and kept showing up until I had no choice but to give in.
Josh didn’t ask for much. He only wanted me to ease back into the world. Because, according to him, I was secretly an inspiration to many people. And by ‘people,’ he meant our classmates.
He reminded me of what it was like to be nice and less of a bitch. I never told him, but I was grateful for his resilience and refusal to give up. If persistence were a person, it would be Josh.
Maybe, just maybe, under a different circumstance, I might’ve considered dating him. That was, of course, if he wasn’t already seeing someone. And I wasn’t still holding on to little pieces of my past.
With the way he fought to pull me out of my shell, most girls would’ve fallen for him already. But not me. Josh was a good guy. However, he wasn’t my type. Older. More mature. And, dare I say, recklessly dangerous.
There was nothing about him that made my heart jump in fear or excitement. Nothing that boosted my adrenaline or made my pulse race. In fact, no guy on campus met my strange criteria.
It was at that moment that I knew Adrik had set a record that one could beat. He’d ruined me, marked me as his own, and left a void nobody else could fill. That man set a standard for me that I couldn’t see anyone else meeting, even in the future.
The truth that I was afraid to face was this: With him, I had everything. Power. Influence. Status. And a great sex life—however inconsistent.
Without him, I was safer, more independent, and most importantly, free. However, I was also lonelier and sadder, and I spent most of my nights wondering what he was up to.
I wasn’t proud of it, but I’d jerked off to the memories of our scenes more than a few times. Scratch that. Within the last year, I’d become a chronic masturbator. I touched myself almost every three days just so I could feel a fraction of how he used to make me feel.
But no matter how deep I dipped my fingers or fast I rubbed my palm over my clit, I never felt whole. I never felt satisfied, at least not in the way I craved.
Adrik’s touch, kisses, and strokes still lived rent-free in my mind as a constant reminder of what I was missing.
Regardless of my silent frustrations, I’d built a life on my own terms—just the way I’d always wanted.
After endless nights of study and court internships, I finally bagged my law degree. Mom had already been discharged from the hospital and was back to living her life like nothing had happened.
Three months ago, I summoned the courage to tell her the truth about Richard and the history behind my father’s disappearance. To my surprise, she wasn’t surprised at all.
Mom had explained to me that she saw his death coming because, at some point, he began messing with the wrong people. His gambling problem was an addiction that she told him would land him in trouble.
He’d never listened.
It turned out that by the time the Bratva put him down, he’d already abandoned us and never had any intentions of coming back. The money he borrowed was for himself. Not a dime was spent on us.
Honestly, I couldn’t find it in me to be furious at a dead man. It wasn’t his fault that I let my foolishness come between Adrik and me. But in my defense, I hadn’t left because he kept the truth from me.
I’d left because I was afraid of falling in love with a monster.
I’d left because I needed a break from the death and destruction of his world.
At least that was what I kept telling myself this whole time, just to feel like a little less of an idiot.
One cool evening, Mom called and asked me to come over. She said she had something important to tell me. Twenty minutes later, I arrived at her place with itchy ears.
“Mom!” I called out, strolling through the door. “I’m here.”
The second I stepped into the living room, I saw something I wasn’t going to unsee. Ever. My Mom and Greg were engrossed in a deep, fervent kiss.
“Whooaahh, my God!” I whipped my head back, shocked at the sight.
They broke apart in an instant, both rising from the couch, unable to meet my gaze.
“Emi, honey…” Mom stuttered. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”
“Uhh….” I stood there, frozen in place. “What’s going on?”
“This is awkward,” Greg murmured under his breath, his eyes dropping to the floor. “I thought you already told her,” he whispered to Mom.
“Tell me what?” I chipped in.
“I was gonna do that today,” she replied to him with the same tone.
“Yeah, well, you should’ve given me a heads up.”
“I was going to.”
Those two were whispering to each other with smiley faces like I didn’t exist.
“Guys, I’m standing right here. Hello?” I spread out my arms.
“Sorry.” Greg cleared his throat, finally meeting my gaze.
“Honey….” Mom stepped forward, her eyes sparkling in a way I hadn’t seen in years. “Your mom is officially off the market.” She raised her hand, revealing the ring on her finger. “I said yes.”
My brows rose instantly, but my expression remained neutral. Blank. This was the happiest I’d ever seen her, and that beautiful smile of hers thawed something frozen inside me.
She mistook my silence for disapproval and drew a little closer, trying to explain herself. “I’m sorry, I was going to tell you sooner, but….”
She was still talking when I rushed into her arms and held her tightly.
“Oh.” An abrupt laugh escaped her lips. “I expected a little resistance, but okay.” She smoothed my hair back.
“I’m happy for you, Mom,” I said quietly, my arms still wrapped around her.
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
I broke away from her with tears in my eyes. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve all the happiness in the world.”
She placed a hand on her chest, her smile broadening by the second.
“And Greg,” I turned to him, “you’re lucky to have such a priceless jewel as your fiancée.”
He beamed at me, reaching out to hold her hand.
“I’m sorry I hid our relationship from you,” Mom said, her eyes locked to mine.
“I should’ve known better. Now, I feel stupid.”
We burst out laughing, shoulders trembling in excitement.
“This calls for a celebration!” Greg said. “I grabbed a bottle of wine.”
“And I’ll grab the glasses!”
As I watched them tease each other on their way to the kitchen, a tear streamed down my cheek. My mom found love and happiness, and I was genuinely happy for her. However, it didn’t stop it from hurting.
I saw the way Greg looked at her, the way he treated her like a queen. He was a good man—one deserving of a woman like my mother.
I wiped my eyes, refusing to let my own sadness ruin her happiness. She’d been through enough already. It was time for some fresh air and a new beginning.
***
The following day, I buried myself in work at the office, trying to take my mind off my miserable life. My fingers rattled across the keyboard as my eyes stayed fixed on the laptop’s screen when I heard a knock on the door.
“Come in, it’s open,” I answered without raising my head.
A second later, someone walked. “I have a package for Emika Morgan.”
I glanced up at the visitor, a courier. He was holding his helmet in one hand and a brown box in the other.
I paused, confused as to what kind of package that was and who’d sent it over. Regardless, I gestured toward my desk. He walked into the office and dropped it on the table.
The courier revealed a neat piece of paper. “Sign here, please.”
I picked up my pen and scribbled down my signature.
“Thank you.” He gave a curt nod. “Have a nice day.”
I leaned back in my chair, staring at the small box on my table. When he closed the door behind him, I opened it, curious to find out what was inside. I picked an envelope out of the box, and inside was a document.
It took a second to realize what kind of document that was.
Divorce papers.
My heart skipped a beat, then another, when I read a clause stating that Adrik was set to remarry.
Our contract had just barely ended, and he was already getting married to another woman? A mix of pain and jealousy washed over me. Had I lost him? Did he love this new woman? Had he slept with her?
The mere thought of another woman in his bed made my face twist into a frown. I hadn’t realized how much I cared about him until now. I’d thought I’d healed. I’d thought I’d moved on and that nothing about him would bother me anymore.
I’d been wrong.
As I read through the divorce papers, I could barely breathe, and a strange heat was spreading across my body. My heart was racing in my heaving chest, a thousand thoughts tugging at my mind.
For the rest of the day, I was completely useless. I couldn’t work—couldn’t focus on anything other than the fact that Adrik Tarasov was set to marry another woman.
Mom was getting married soon, and now Adrik too? What the hell was happening? Didn’t I deserve to be happy as well?
In order to clear my head, I decided to stop by a bar on my way home.
I pushed through the doors and walked into the dimly lit space washed in amber lights. The air was filled with the low hum of conversations and the scent of smoke and spilled alcohol.
Heads turned in my direction as my heels clicked softly against the floor. Those slow, curious glances lingered a second too long, but I ignored them, heading straight to the bar.
I sat on a stool and placed my elbows on the counter. “Whisky,” I said to the bartender, my voice steady. “Neat.”
He nodded and walked away.
I buried my face in my palms, then rubbed my tired eyes. I just wanted the voices in my head to shut the fuck up.
“Here you go.” The bartender slid my drink over to me.
I lifted the small rocks glass, the sharp scent of whiskey hitting me before I touched my lips. In a single shot, I drained the damn thing. The burn stung my eyes, making my throat tighten.
I set the empty glass back on the counter and clenched my jaw. “Another one!”
“Midlife crisis?” someone asked me.
I turned to the man sitting on the stool next to me. “Yeah, something like that.”
He raised his glass. “Welcome to the club.”
I let out a soft scoff.
“I’m Oliver, by the way,” he introduced himself.
I hesitated. “Emika.”
“You have beautiful eyes, Emika,” he said, his gaze locked on me. “Anyone ever tell you that?”
I stared at him in silence, unsure of how to reply. Did he honestly think he was the first man to point that out?
“That was lame, I’m sorry.” He lowered his head in shame. “I just…I haven’t done this in a while.”
“And by ‘this,’ you mean…?”
“You know…trying to engage a pretty girl in a…pretty decent conversation.”
That makes the two of us, buddy.
“Well, you’re not doing so bad,” I said to him.
The idea was to try to loosen up a bit and maybe even get a little high. I just wanted to forget my sorrows and the fact that my life was filled with misery.
Why should I cage myself when Adrik was set to marry another woman? Why shouldn’t I live my life the way I wanted? Why shouldn’t I make reckless mistakes like following a stranger to his place for a one-night stand?
I decided to indulge this Oliver guy.
We talked for a while, and I found out that he was single, had a decent job, and lived across the street. Oliver seemed like a pretty decent guy: fancy suit, curly dark hair, and a pair of wire-rimmed glasses that made him look a little like a nerd.
The more we talked, the more I realized that he was just like the other guys. Normal. Ordinary. And there was nothing wrong with that—they simply weren’t like Adrik Tarasov. Not even close.
He was the only one who made my heart race without trying. The only one who could easily ignite the fire within me with just the right words and the right stare.
As Oliver’s voice faded into the background, it dawned on me that Adrik was the only one who could fill this void. He was the only remedy for my frustration.
I was done running.
I was done hiding away from the truth—my truth.
There was no way in hell that I was going to be happy without him. It was now or never. If I didn’t fix my mistake, I’d lose him to another woman forever.
No, I couldn’t have that.
I wasn’t going to let my pride get in the way of my happiness. I’d be miserable if I lost Adrik Tarasov because finally, I’d accepted the truth.
I was in love with him.
“Earth to Emika.” Oliver snapped his fingers in my face.
I blinked back to reality.
“You still with me?”
“Yeah, uh….” I scratched the back of my head. “I gotta go.”
“Go?” He watched me rise to my feet, his brows raised in shock. “What’s the matter? Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh, no, no….” I withdrew some cash and dropped it on the countertop. “It’s not you; it’s me.”
He glanced at me in disbelief. “Wow, you really used that excuse on me, huh?”
“I’m sorry,” I said, meaning every word. “I really am. But I have to go.”
With that, I stormed out of the bar, my heels clicking rapidly against the floor.
Outside, the air felt sharp against my skin as I hurried to my car. For the first time, I knew exactly what I wanted, and I was going for it with everything in me.
I wasn’t that naive girl anymore.
I was stronger now. Wiser. And finally ready to face the man who’d broken me and completed me at the same time.