Chapter 15 – Ellie
It’s been three days since the library confrontation. Yet I hadn’t recovered from what almost happened. I thought I was strong enough to resist him, that I had control over my body. But clearly, I didn’t.
The feeling of his lips grazing mine was so electrifying that it left me trembling. The hunger in his eyes had only fanned the flames of my own desires, making me crave him even more.
I should’ve just withdrawn and walked away. I should’ve run like hell. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. And that was the problem—the fact that I wanted him so badly. I shouldn’t be sexually drawn to my oppressor. How would he take me seriously?
This man was in my head all day, every day. And the more I tried to focus on something else, the more my mind kept drifting back to him. Before I fell asleep at night, I’d entertain myself with fake scenarios on how that evening would’ve turned out if that phone call hadn’t interrupted us.
When I woke up in the morning, the first thing I’d think about was him. Even in the shower, images of his shirtless body remained constantly in my head. I was losing my mind with every passing hour, and there was nobody I could talk to about my situation.
I’d been avoiding him like a plague ever since, even though every fiber of my being was pushing me into his arms. Isolation was the only way I knew to combat these fiery emotions burning within me. So I stayed away, locked in my room.
I had those case files to keep me busy. But how could I focus on them when my mind was occupied by illicit thoughts?
I’d had awkward moments with men I found attractive before. It was no big deal. Why the hell was this so different? Why was my heart constantly racing? Why were my emotions all over the place?
The crazy part of all this was that we didn’t even share a kiss. We almost did, but we didn’t. Yet somehow, that little tease managed to trigger something dangerous and primal within me.
Never had I wanted a man so badly before, and this newfound fixation was killing me.
On the fourth morning of my isolation, I lay in bed, staring blankly into space. My nipples were hard and erect, the outcome of the wet dream I’d just woken up from. A tingling sensation sprinted down my core, my pulse quickening by the second.
The insatiable need to touch myself crashed over me like a tidal wave. I bit my lower lip, recalling how he kissed me in my dream. Heat spread across my body, making my legs tremble.
My hands slowly crawled up my torso as I fought against the urge to masturbate.
Don’t. Don’t do it, I told myself.
It was too late; my fingers were already pinching my nipples. A soft purr fell off my lips in response to the pleasure coursing through me. I squeezed my breasts, my back subtly writhing against the sheets.
My toes curled in ecstasy after my hand slid downward and my fingers settled on my underpants. I was so fuckin’ wet, each glide through my entrance slippery and sensational.
“Oh, fuck,” I mumbled, drawing my thighs together.
A voice in my head was telling me to stop, but I was already too far gone. My eyes rolled backward while I drowned in liquid fire. I bit my lip, daring to slide a second finger inside my wet pussy.
“Oh, Karik.” I arched my back, breathing his name before I could stop myself.
I writhed against the sheets, squeezing my breasts with one hand and fingering myself with the other. My lips parted in a silent scream as I rubbed my swollen clit in gentle circles.
My breath hitched in my throat, and my legs were shaking beneath me. I closed my eyes, imagining his tongue on my cunt while gradually losing myself to the bloom of warmth coursing through me.
I shuddered out a sound, one a little louder than I expected. My hand flew to my mouth in an instant, muffling my moans. The faster I rubbed my clit, the closer I drew to the edge.
My heart raced, and I felt myself unraveling. “Fuck you, Karik…” I whispered, my face contorted in bliss.
Just when I was about to come, someone knocked on my door. The interruption startled me, completely shattering the tension already building up inside me.
I withdrew my hands from my pants, afraid of getting caught. Embarrassed, I lay on my side, pretending to be asleep, hoping whoever was outside hadn’t heard my moans.
They knocked again.
I didn’t answer.
A moment later, they figured that I wasn’t awake yet and left, their footsteps receding. It was Agata. I was sure of that.
I let out a quiet sigh, a mix of relief and anger rising within me. A part of me was glad she respected my privacy and walked away. If she’d stepped in regardless, she would’ve smelled the scent of my arousal in the air.
The other part of me was frustrated because I didn’t get to finish properly. Her timing sucked in the worst way possible, leaving me hanging and angry.
Shame on you, I cussed myself after the reality of what I’d done dawned on me.
I lay on my back again, hands in my hair, overwhelmed by guilt and disappointment.
Do better next time.
***
Later that day, I decided staying in my room wasn’t helping my situation at all. Instead, it was making it worse. I thought avoidance would fix the problem. It didn’t. It just ended up creating space for my head to fill.
Dressed in a short, flowered gown, I stepped out to get some fresh air. Maybe a little stroll around the house would help clear my head.
I was walking through the garden outside, enjoying the company of nature, when I heard someone sobbing. At first, I thought it was my mind playing tricks on me. Then I heard it again, this time, more clearly.
My eyes squinted slightly, and I began following the sound. After a short while, I reached a clearing and found Agata seated on a bench with her head lowered. She was the one sobbing. Her shoulders were shaking subtly, her hands trembling on her lap.
The sight broke something in me, and I launched forward, calling out to her. “Agata?”
Startled, she flinched, rising to her feet with tears in her eyes. She wiped them away immediately, her jaw set, avoiding my gaze.
“Ma’am.” She sniffled, struggling to pull herself together. “What’re you…what are you doing here?”
I halted before her, concerned. “Agata, what’s going on? Why are you crying?”
She shook her head. “I’m not—I’m not crying. There’s just something in my eyes.”
I reached out and took her hands, trying to meet her gaze. “Look at me.”
She hesitated before lifting her head. Pain was etched there, the kind that made your lips tremble.
“Who hurt you?” I asked her, my voice soft and gentle.
She swallowed hard. “Nobody.”
Bullshit.
“Talk to me, Agata. Was it one of the guards—one of the maids? Did someone say something to you?”
She kept her head bowed.
“Hey, look at me.” I raised her chin. “Tell me who hurt you.”
She blinked back her tears, her red eyes refusing to meet mine. “It’s my fault. I should’ve been more careful. He doesn’t like silly mistakes,” she said, her voice still a bit shaky.
“He?” I questioned, my head tilting suspiciously.
At this point, I already knew who she was talking about. I just needed confirmation.
“Who’s ‘he,’ Agata?”
Silence.
Her head dropped again.
“It’s him, isn’t it? Karik?”
She glanced up at me, clasping her palms together. “Please, ma’am. I don’t want any trouble.”
“Son of a bitch,” I cussed under my breath. “What did he do to you?” I demanded.
“Nothing. I told you it was my fault. I shouldn’t have spilled tea on his documents,” she replied, shaking as though she knew this was about to escalate.
I stepped closer. “What…did he do to you?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Fine.” I turned away. “I’ll ask him myself.”
“No, no, please, don’t! It’ll only make him angrier.” She crossed over and stood in front of me, weeping. “I swear, he only scolded me. The only reason I’m crying is because his words were too harsh and I’m an emotional person.”
I paused, watching her closely.
She was telling the truth. He didn’t touch her. He couldn’t have. But he still made her cry with his words, and that’s just as evil.
“Wipe your tears,” I said to her. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Please, let it go,” she said, pleading with her eyes. “I don’t want any trouble.”
“No, you don’t,” I answered. “But I do. And he has some explaining to do.”
With that, I walked away, leaving her standing there, hoping I wouldn’t make things worse.
***
“Karik Tarasov, what the hell is wrong with you?!” I barged into his study, my feet pounding the floor.
He was seated at his desk, speaking to someone on the phone. “Let me call you back.”
I halted before his table, glaring at him. “Why do you delight in causing other people pain?”
“What’re you talking about?” he asked, setting his phone down.
“You know goddamn well what I’m talking about.”
A pause.
“Unfortunately, I do not.”
With both hands on his table, I leaned in, my eyes boring into his. “What did you say to her?”
He raised his brows. “Are you allergic to specifics?”
“Agata,” I blurted. “Why did you yell at her? What exactly did you say that made the poor girl cry her eyes out?”
He didn’t respond.
My eyes fell on the tea-stained documents on his table. “She told me what she did. She said it was an accident, and I’m sure she apologized. So, why did you have to be mean to her?”
Slowly, he rose to his feet and walked around the table. “You avoided me for what? Four days? Then all of a sudden you barge into my study, playing defense attorney?”
My heart skipped as he inched closer, the intoxicating scent of his cologne filling the air around me.
“Don’t change the subject,” I said, my voice lower than before. “Why were you so mean to her?”
“Is that really why you came here…?” he asked, those cold eyes boring into mine. “…to ask why a monster acts the way he does?”
I swallowed hard, uncomfortable by this proximity and the familiar feeling stirring up within me. “Yes,” I answered.
“Lies.” His lips curled into a faint grin. “You care about the girl, sure, but that’s not really why you’re here.”