Chapter Fifteen #2
Gage’s entire body was trembling with chill.
“I don’t know, really,” he said. “There were little things, like helping her with her lame pony. There were evenings when I was assigned the night watch and she would sneak out after she was supposed to be in bed, bringing me a blanket. She did that more than once. She was always there, always attentive, sometimes annoyingly so, but other times… it was very sweet.”
Brian smiled faintly. “Then she wasn’t as irritating as you have let on.”
Gage looked at him and he squeezed his hand tightly again.
“She was but, somehow, she grew on me,” he said.
“When Boothe forced me from Septentrion, I never gave Wynter another thought. I was too busy trying to survive to do so. I did not even think about her over the past six years because to have brought her memory into the vocation I had chosen… somehow, it was disrespectful. I should not remember Wynter de Thorington as I’m cutting an enemy into pieces and tossing those chunks into the river.
Mayhap that is why I never thought of her…
I was no longer worthy to think of her.”
Brian let go of his hand long enough to pull a dirty blanket over him because he was trembling steadily. It was an old horse blanket they had found in the stable, but it was all they had.
“Clark?” he called.
Clark opened the door. He had been standing on the landing the entire time. “Aye, my lord?”
Brian glanced at him. “Get someone in here with fuel for the fire,” he said. “Gage is burning with fever, but he’s also freezing to death.”
“Aye, my lord.”
“And find more blankets, too.”
Clark nodded, closing the door as he went to do his bidding. Brian returned his attention to Gage.
“You were saying that you did not feel worthy to think of her?” he said, returning to the subject. “That is understandable, but you should not feel guilty for surviving. You did what you had to do. You were fortunate you had an uncle to provide you the means.”
The shivering was bringing Gage pain in his shoulder and he shifted uncomfortably on the mattress.
“I’m very wealthy from it,” he said. “I have more money than my brother ever had and probably even my father. Being part of El Vibora’s army has been very lucrative and I had no intention of giving it up.”
Brian sat back on his heels, his gaze lingering on Gage because he felt there was more to that subject. “But you have changed your mind.”
Gage nodded, a jerky movement because he was shivering so.
“I changed it when I saw Lady Wynter again,” he said.
“I am so sorry, Brian. I didn’t realize you were vying for her hand until she told me, and then…
I have no excuses. Even knowing that, I was drawn to her.
My little sister had grown up into a magnificent woman.
That annoying child is no more. She has conquered me in a way I could never imagine.
But I lied to you about it and I am sorry I did that.
Sorry that I wasn’t honest when you asked me to be. ”
Brian wasn’t happy about it, but he understood. “As you said, our focus should have been elsewhere,” he said. “It was inappropriate for me to ask you that question at that time and, quite frankly, it is none of my affair. Your business is your own.”
“Not when it involves a woman we both want,” Gage said. He looked at the man for a few moments before continuing. “And I do want her. You should know that I have asked her to be my wife.”
Those words were the end of a dream as far as Brian was concerned – his dream. He sighed with resignation.
“What did she say?”
“She did not give me an answer, really,” he said. “She told me that she thought it was all a dream. I have not even spoken to her father yet, but I intend to. I am so very sorry about this, Brian, truly, but I must follow my heart. That is something I’ve never had to follow before.”
Brian smiled weakly. “It can lead you to ruin, so it is not a trustworthy guide.”
Gage smiled faintly. Even in his weakest moment, he could still see Brian’s acceptance and his pain. He could still see what his actions were causing.
But he had something to ask of the man.
“Will you do something for me?” he murmured.
“What can I do?”
“Will you send word to Wynter?” he said. “I told her I would go to Ashleven when the battle was over but, clearly, I cannot go. I do not wish for her to think that I am not a man of my word.”
Brian looked at the man, thinking a lot of things at that moment.
Since they were speaking on the woman he very much wanted to marry, he could have viewed Gage as his mortal enemy.
He could have denied him everything and let him die alone if, in fact, that was where he was headed.
He could let the man die and then he could tell Wynter whatever he wanted about it – how Gage recanted any interest in her on his deathbed or a story to that effect.
He could tell her anything at all to turn her against Gage.
If he were a more scheming or vindictive man, he might very well do that.
But he couldn’t bring himself to.
Brian simply didn’t have a nasty bone in his body.
He could see that Gage was struggling. More than likely, he probably wouldn’t live through the night.
Brian had seen these fevers overtake men before, wounded men whose bodies were already weakened, and they usually went swiftly.
He didn’t have any reason to think Gage would be any different even though he appeared stronger than most.
But Brian would feel terribly guilty if he didn’t do all he could to give the man comfort before he died. Gage had been wounded on a mission of Brian’s doing, after all, so in a sense, Brian was responsible.
He had to do what he could.
“Aye,” he said after a moment. “I will send her word. I will do it now. You will rest and I will do it now.”
Gage nodded, pushing aside the blanket once again to take Brian’s hand.
“Thank you,” he said sincerely. “Tell her that I shall come when I am feeling better, but do not let her father know. I have not yet spoken to the earl and I do not want him to think me ill-mannered by speaking to his daughter without his permission. If you can tell her directly and not involve him, I would be grateful.”
“I understand.”
Brian started to turn away but Gage pulled on him, preventing him from moving.
“One more thing,” he said, eyes brimming with tears.
“Tell her… if I am unable to see her again, will you please tell her that my last thoughts were of her? Tell her that it is my wish for her to marry you and have a happy life. You will be a good husband, Brian. I know that you will be kind and fair to her and that is all I can wish for. If you want me to write it down so there will be no question, I will do it. Bring me a quill and I will do it.”
That selfless declaration shredded any last semblance Brian had of jealousy.
He felt absolutely guilt-stricken hearing it and he didn’t know why.
All he knew was that it had something to do with Gage possibly being a better man than he was because in Gage’s shoes, he wasn’t sure if he would have been able to do the same thing.
The lump returned to his throat as he squeezed Gage’s hand before tucking it back under the blanket.
“I will tell her,” he muttered tightly. “Sleep, now. I will return.”
Gage was still shivering but he closed his eyes, his poor body fighting off the horrendous poison that filled it. Brian stood up, his gaze lingering on Gage for a moment before he quit the chamber. Even as he hit the stairs down to the keep entry, he knew what he had to do.
For Gage, he had to.
He had a woman to see.