Chapter 9 - Jasper #2
She didn’t answer at first. Instead, she took in their surroundings. She craned her neck to stare up at the autumnal canopy, quiet, taking in the birdsong and the whoosh of the wind.
“I don’t think I’ve been in this area before,” she admitted.
“What do you think?” he asked.
She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she stared out past the rocky overhang and gasped.
Below them sprawled countless trees, still full of leaves painted in fall hues.
They seemed to stretch on for an eternity.
Off in one corner down below, seeming so small and insignificant from this height, was the pack, a cluster of buildings in the sea of foliage.
“It’s beautiful,” she muttered. She turned to look back at him. “But I don’t know what we’re doing here.”
“You’re smarter than that,” he teased.
She folded her arms, glaring up at him, and he laughed. He held up a finger, telling her to wait, then disappeared into the woods. A moment later, he reappeared, holding a basket.
“I thought we could have some lunch,” he said, gesturing to it.
“You made us a picnic?” she asked. She sounded almost in disbelief, as if he were the last person she had expected to do something like that.
“You don’t have to sound so surprised.” He placed the basket on the ground and extracted a blanket.
Her eyes sparkled, and she gave a half-smirk. “I’m allowed to be a little surprised.”
She bent down to the basket and rummaged through it, her brows knitting together even as her features softened. “These are all of my favorite things,” she said. She pulled out a bottle of white wine, staring at the label. “You even got my favorite wine. How did you know?”
“I’ve paid attention to you,” he said.
“I can see that.” She scrutinized him, but for the first time since this had all begun, there wasn’t an ounce of hostility in her gaze. It had been replaced by a cautious curiosity. “How much attention?”
“What do you mean?” he asked.
She gave him a knowing look. “I mean that you seem to have a surprisingly good idea of exactly what I like and don’t like.
You knew my favorite tea and my favorite restaurant.
You’ve picked up my favorite chocolate before.
It feels like you’ve been paying a lot of attention—before we even started talking. ”
He licked his lips, trying to figure out how to respond.
“You’re a hard woman to ignore, Nikki,” he said. “I’ve always seemed to focus on you if you’re in the same room, even if I tried not to.”
He thought she might ask about the night they met.
If she did, he wasn’t sure he would be able to deflect or explain away what he had been doing there.
He knew he should admit to watching her, to following her, but every time he considered it, he talked himself out of it.
After all, it had only been to protect her, to watch out for her. Nothing nefarious.
She continued regarding him, something inscrutable in her gaze. He wished he could understand what was behind it. Eventually, she tore her gaze away to stare back at the contents of the basket.
“Thanks, Jasper. This is really sweet.” Her voice came out soft, almost confused, as if she couldn’t fathom someone doing something like this for her. And, Jasper realized, maybe no one had.
Without realizing he was about to do it, he stepped toward her and placed his hand on her shoulder. She flinched slightly, as if on reflex. When she twisted to look at him again, she gave an almost sheepish smile.
“Sorry,” she said. “I get jumpy sometimes.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” he teased, and her lip twitched upward. “Come on. Let’s relax and have some wine.”
For a while, they didn’t speak. They simply sat on the blanket next to one another, staring out at the view.
They eventually turned to small talk, making the occasional comment.
Finally, the conversation began to flow easily.
Nikki began relaxing, and Jasper’s shoulders began to uncoil with every upward quirk of her lips.
“What made you decide to do this?” she asked.
He didn’t answer right away. He stared out at the view, trying to come up with the correct words.
“I wanted to do something for you that my father never did for my mom,” he finally said. “I wanted to try and do something nice after the last few weeks. I figured you deserved it. Honestly, it’s long overdue. I should have done this sooner. I’m sorry.”
She took a sip of her drink instead of responding. After a moment, she shrugged. “God, it’s just nice getting out,” she said. “I’ve missed this.”
“You seem the kind of person who likes getting out in nature,” Jasper said, watching her.
She laughed. It was a nice laugh. “You could say that. I always preferred going out into the world as opposed to staying at home and having to deal with my parents and all their disappointed stares.”
“Disappointed stares?” he echoed.
Nikki blinked, as if she had let slip more than she had intended. Swallowing, she took a moment. Jasper watched her, the need to know what she was thinking all but overwhelming him.
She bit her lip, then took a sip of wine before finally responding.
“Ever since my adopted parents found out I wasn’t a shifter, they saw me more as dead weight than anything else.
They saw me as weak and decided that I wouldn’t be able to fight back against whatever they chose for me.
So they just started making decisions for my life without consulting me. ”
“Is that how you got into the hands of Alpha Sier?” Jasper asked, trying to keep the rage off his face. If her parents had done something like that to her, he would have to stop himself from hunting them down.
Shaking her head, she laughed softly. “No,” she said.
“No. Mom and Dad were going to marry me off to this rich guy in the pack for a dowry. He was about eighty and the biggest creep I had ever met, at least up until then. So before they could, I ran off. That’s when I got scooped up by Alpha Sier and his goons. ”
“They tried to marry you off?”
She nodded. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s feeling like I don’t have a say in my life,” she said. She hesitated for a moment, taking another large gulp of wine. “And not getting a say in who I marry has always been one of the worst offenses.”
Jasper winced.
“I know the circumstances are different,” Nikki continued. “I know you were doing it because you thought it was the best way of keeping me safe. But yeah. That’s one of the reasons it bothered me as much as it did.”
She glanced over at him, as if expecting him to explode or to storm off and leave her there. He did neither.
“I won’t apologize for doing what I think was best or for trying to protect you,” he said. “But I probably could have gone about it a different way. I just couldn’t think of a better way to protect you and keep you in the pack.”
“I know.” It wasn’t acceptance or forgiveness, just an acknowledgment.
“I’m sorry for the fight at the library,” he said.
Nikki’s head whipped back around, and she stared at him almost in disbelief, as if she’d never had someone apologize to her before.
“I shouldn’t have acted that way,” he continued. “I’m just trying to protect you. I don’t want you falling back into Lucas’s hands, or anyone else’s.”
“You were isolating me, though,” she pointed out.
She wasn’t going to give him a pass. He liked that about her. He liked that she held him accountable. He liked that she thought he could be better.
“I was,” he admitted. “And I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to isolate you. I’ve seen what that can do to someone, and I don’t want to ever be responsible for that.”
She stared up at him, her expression politely curious. He could sense that she wanted to know what he was referring to, but wouldn’t pry. She’d let him decide if he was ready to tell. Again, another thing he liked about her.
Still, it took him some time to figure out how to form the words, how to say exactly what was on his mind. He wanted her to know about him, but that wasn’t a time in his life that he liked to think about, let alone talk about.
Birdsong and the rush of wind through leaves interrupted the silence. Nikki tore her gaze away from him to stare out at the magnificent view again, the blue sky over the sea of orange and yellow and red. Her fingers tapped against the side of her glass.
“My father wasn’t exactly a great man,” he finally growled after a long minute, and Nikki turned back to him.
“That’s putting it mildly, to be honest. He was an asshole.
He treated my mother like shit and tried to keep her away from family and friends.
Same with my sister. I grew up seeing him do it, and I hated it.
He was supposed to care about them and protect them, not make their lives miserable. ”
He let out a deep breath, fully aware that Nikki was staring at him, watching him. His skin prickled.
“Anyway, I made a promise never to be like him.” He laughed humorlessly. “But I guess the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. I guess I picked up some of his habits without realizing it. Even if I’m doing it because I think it’s the right thing to do, I’m still doing what he did.”
He twisted so he was facing her. Her features were softer, but he could see the conflict in her eyes, the war of understanding and still being frustrated at the circumstances. He wanted to do better for her. She deserved it.
“I’ll try to be better,” he said. “But just give me some time.”
She smiled, and he realized now just how close they were.
She was close enough that he could see her individual eyelashes.
She was close enough that her perfume surrounded him.
She was close enough that all it would take was a simple gesture from either of them to start something they may or may not regret.
“I think I can do that,” she said.