Chapter 5
The movie was playing but neither one of us was really watching it.
After everything had come out and was laid on the table today, I could no longer read Tatti.
She was quiet and staring off into space for the rest of the day.
She wasn’t talking shit or being her normal self at all.
Occasionally she’d randomly shake her head in disbelief at the thought of what she learned today.
Still, she hadn’t told me what happened at her aunts house.
Whatever it was had to have been so bad, that it made her wanna rush and talk to her father.
Sam told me something had went down at that house, and I was gone for sho ask her later.
Right now, I knew that her whole world and everything she believed in had gotten crushed today, so all I could do was show her that I’m here.
I had Tatti laying against my chest, my arm wrapped around her lower back.
The popcorn bowl was sitting beside us on the bed while we attempted a movie night.
I’d even rented some shit off the Amazon Video app.
Everything should have felt right. We were getting married tomorrow.
We'd just had a good ass night last night.
Today should have been nothing other than a celebration.
But shit was fucked up now.
I could feel it in the way she was holding her body.
Tense. Like she was here physically but her mind was somewhere completely different.
She wasn't eating the popcorn. Wasn't laughing at the jokes in the movie.
Wasn't engaged in none of it. Her ass wasn’t even listening to my heartbeat like she usually did.
I watched her for a minute, trying to figure out what was going on in that head of hers. Her eyes were moving but they weren't really seeing the screen. They were somewhere far away. Somewhere dark.
I reached over and grabbed the popcorn bowl. Set it on the nightstand without saying anything. Then I grabbed her chin gently and lifted her face so she had to look at me.
"What's on your mind?" I asked.
She took a deep breath like she'd been holding it in for a long time. Like whatever she was about to say had been sitting on her chest, getting heavier by the minute.
"My father is a killer. He killed one of his closest friends. The man I called an uncle my whole life,” she said, and her voice was so small it barely sounded like her.
"And on top of that, he sold me off. The man I loved and admired, the man who was my savior and protector, he’s just another lying, triflin ass nigga.
My life has been a lie and I no longer know what's real or fake.
He has a fucking daughter outside of me. A baby, at that."
I didn't interrupt. Just listened.
"I'm scared this may not even be real," she continued, her eyes searching mine like she was looking for lies. "And when you get what you want, I'll be left looking like a damn fool. I just want peace and for shit to be simple."
She pulled away from me and sat up, hugging her knees to her chest.
"My life is fucked up and you don't know half the shit I've been through," she said. "This just added to that. Now tomorrow, we have to get married while my mind is on everything my father has done and I'm also in fear that this will be snatched from me too. So sorry that I don’t want to get too comfortable. I can’t enjoy no movie or none of that shit right now.”
I sat there for a long moment, just taking in what she'd said. Taking in the weight of it. The fear. The doubt.
I bit my lip, processing everything she'd just laid out. Then I moved. I grabbed her face gently but firmly and made her look directly into my eyes.
"Regardless of what this started off as," I said, my voice steady and real, "I want more. And I'll do anything to protect you. You understand me?"
She didn't say anything. Just stared at me.
"I'm not perfect," I continued. "I've made mistakes in life and I might make more. But I want to try this marriage shit, for real. Not because I have to. Because I want to and whatever this is with you… it just feels right. Man, I’ve knocked a nigga’s important teeth out his mouth for playing with you. One thing you need to understand is I’m not the nigga to play games. Whatever I tell you, that’s what you can trust and believe. I got you Tatti. Just let me show you.”
Her eyes widen but I guess she was too shocked to speak. I let my thumb run across her cheek.
"And if we gone be real and do this shit, I've been keeping something from you," I said. "Something I should have told you already, but I’m about to go on and lay it out.”
Disappointment flashed across her face so fast I almost missed it. Like she was already preparing herself to be let down.
"From the day we signed those papers," I said, "I'm taking over the empire under a twelve-month probationary period. That means I run it, but it can be snatched away in a year if I don't fulfill all the conditions."
Her face shifted. She was trying to process what that meant.
"What conditions?" she asked quietly.
"Get married and have a baby within twelve months," I said. Straight. No dressing it up.
I watched her face change. Watched her jaw tighten. Watched something in her eyes go cold. Did she not want kids? Why did hearing that news change her energy?
"I don't even know if you want kids or if you can have kids," I said. "That's something we need to talk about. Real talk, but those are the conditions I’ve been given. If we gotta work around it, just tell me something.”
She was quiet for a long moment. Too quiet.
"I need to talk to you about that," she said finally, and there was something in her voice that told me this was about to be a serious conversation.
Something I probably wasn't ready for but needed to hear. The last thing I needed was for her to tell me that she couldn’t have kids.
But the way that I wanted to be with her ass, I would probably go through hell and back to try and figure out another solution.
But before she could say another word—
The front door slammed closed so hard I heard it all the way up here.
"KASEEM!" Namier's voice echoed through the entire house. "KASEEM!"
I could hear him running through the hallway. Hear the panic in his voice. The desperation. That shit stopped me in my tracks. I felt it, I felt something was wrong.
"Yo, KASEEM, where you at?" he was yelling.
Tatti and I both sat up straight.
I got out of bed and opened the door just as Namier was coming down the hallway toward my room. The second I saw his face, I knew.
His eyes were red. His face was wet with tears. His whole body was shaking like he was about to come apart. My brother ain’t ever shed a tear about shit. This news had to be something fucked up.
"Namier," I said, moving toward him. "What the fuck is—"
He burst into my room, his eyes wild, looking between me and Tatti like he didn't even see her.
"He's gone, man!" Namier screamed, and his voice cracked on the words. "He's gone! They took him from us. Them bitch ass niggas did that bad, now they gotta pay!"
My stomach dropped.
"Who?" I asked, but I already knew. Somewhere deep inside me, I already knew. "Who's dead?"
Namier's face contorted. His whole body shook.
And when he screamed the name to the top of his lungs, it was gutting.
Heartbreaking. The kind of scream that comes from a place so deep inside you that it can't be faked. The scream of a man who’d lost his other half.
All the wind left my body like a nigga had just gut punched me.
"ZAIRE! It's ZAIRE! He’s GONNNNNEE!” Namier yelled.
The room went silent except for the sound of his breathing.
Heavy and broken. My heart ached bad as hell like that muthafucka was about to stop beating.
My brothers had always been my world. I guided them and protected them from anything life threw at them, but I had failed this time and I knew exactly what happened without even asking.
My little brother.
My blood.
Gone.
This shit couldn’t be right!
Everything I'd been building, everything I'd been protecting, everything I'd been working toward—none of it mattered anymore because my brother was dead and niggas was about to pay for that with their life.
I looked at Tatti. She was pale. Her hand was over her mouth.
Then I looked back at Namier.
"Tell me everything," I said, my voice deadly calm. The kind of calm that came right before the storm. "Tell me exactly what the fuck happened." I barked as tears fell silently. I’d never cried in my life but for every tear that fell, that’s how many bodies I was about to drop around this bitch.
—
I didn't move. I just stared at Namier like he'd said something in a language I couldn't understand.
"Tell me everything," I said again, quieter this time. "Every single word them niggas said to you."
Namier's hands were shaking so bad he could barely talk, but he laid it out. The call. The voice. The message about the warehouse. Brick Boyz taking Zaire off the map. The nigga saying checkmate on the phone like my brother life was a game. The threat about getting our black suits ready.
The more he talked, the more something in me went dark. This wasn't real. This was some sick shit they were trying to pull to get in my head. Zaire was too thorough. Too careful. Too much of a Carter to get caught slipping like that.
"Nah," I said, already moving toward my closet. "Nah, that shit ain’t go down like that. I need to see it with my own eyes. I need confirmation."
I was throwing clothes on. Jeans. A black hoodie. My kicks. Moving fast, my whole body operating on adrenaline and rage.
My phone was already in my hand. I was dialing to try and get a peace of mind. First call rang and rang and rang. No answer. Second call. Same shit. Third call. Nothing except that ringing sound that made my skin crawl.
Zaire. Damn Zaire.
What the fuck man?
I grabbed my keys and my phone. I was moving on pure rage and grief mixed together into something that felt like it might destroy me from the inside out. But I couldn't let it. Not yet. Not until I knew the truth.
Tatti rushed back into the room, fully dressed now. Her hair was thrown up. She looked ready for war just like I was. She was wearing a black hoodie and some jogging pants.
"You staying here," I said, not even looking at her. "This ain't the move for you and I don’t have time to babysit when some real shit just popped off!”
"I want to be there for you," she said, stepping closer. "In whatever way that looks like. I promise I won't be in the way, and you don’t have to talk to me like that, Seem. I just wanna try and help,” she said softly.
I wanted to say no. Wanted to tell her to stay in this compound where it was safe. But the look in her eyes told me she wasn't about to listen. And truthfully, I needed her there to keep me calm. She’d been what grounded me lately. I needed to know she was close.
Namier gave her a look so cold it could have frozen fire. A stare that said everything he wasn't saying out loud. Seeing that, I knew immediately that I had to shut that shit down.
I shot him a look back. Hard. Telling him without words to cut that shit out. Yeah, he was hurt but he wasn’t about to take that shit out on my wife. I would never play that shit or let him get comfortable stepping out of pocket.
"Man, I can't believe I was with a bitch while my brother was getting murked. I’ll never come back from this," Namier mumbled, his voice broken.
"Don't do that," I said, putting my hand on his shoulder. "Don't put that on yourself. This ain't on you. This is on them niggas and we gotta handle it."
Both of us had tears in our eyes now. We weren't even trying to hide it anymore. Our brother was gone and the world needed to know what that cost was about to be.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand and headed for the door.
"Let's go," I said.
But before we could move, I had to make one more call.
I dialed Tyree's number. It rang twice before he answered, and I could hear the grogginess in his voice like I'd woken him up from a deep sleep. Like he was laying up comfortable while my world was falling apart.
"Yeah, what is it?" he answered.
"I just got a call that my brother Zaire is dead!" I barked into the phone, not even letting him fully wake up. "That shit can't be real! I need confirmation and I need that shit now!"
"Kaseem, what are you talking about—"
"Get yo ass out that bed with that dead man's wife and come the fuck on now!
" I cut him off. "Beat me there. Don't meet me there.
Move!" I barked into the phone. I watched this nigga so hard that I knew every other weekend he’d lie to his wife in order to stay with his baby momma and their bastard child.
I hung up before he could say another word.
Tatti was already grabbing her purse. Already moving toward the door with determination written all over her face. She wasn't asking for permission anymore. She was going. And I wasn't about to fight her on it. I ain’t have the strength.
Namier, me, and Tatti headed down the hallway and out the house. We loaded up in the truck. I was in the driver's seat, my hands gripping the steering wheel so tight my knuckles turned white.
"Where are we going? Where was your brother at last?” Tatti asked quietly from the back seat.
Neither Namier nor I answered. We just drove.
Fast. Hard. Into the dark Dallas night with nothing but rage, grief and a need for answers.
Somebody was about to have to show me something.
I looked over at my brother and that look in his eyes told me all I needed to know.
We was about to get answers tonight, then we was about to set some shit off, and I put that on Zaire Carter.