11. Laszlo
Ialmost veered into a light post, but the Aston Martin had tech to keep me on the road, even when I was about to have a fucking heart attack.
That couldn’t have been her first time! Had I disassociated again? I thought I’d been there, present. It wasn’t what I wanted, wasn’t how I wanted her, but my body did, and maybe that was enough. How stupid could I have been to not notice?
My blood had rushed away from my brain, that’s how.
Because I secretly wanted the chance to experience her.
To feel her sweet body against mine. She was the first person to get me hard in longer than I could remember.
I was on meds for my PTSD, and they suppressed my sex drive, but somehow, she was able to make my body come alive.
I thought I’d seen something on my cock more than just come, but the red lights of the club tricked me. That had been her blood. Her scream was pained, but I thought she’d been playing it up for the audience. Trying to make me look like a big man when I was nothing more than a piece of shit.
But the way she flipped her hair over her shoulder, gave me those smoldering eyes, told me she wanted me to take her, acted like we’d fucked before. If she hadn’t done that, I never would have—
My spiralling thoughts were cut off by her laugh. One note. Bitter.
“Pretty stupid, huh? Little sheep, dancing for a pack of wolves, thinking they’d spare her.”
Guilt threatened to overcome me. She blamed herself? I nearly sideswiped another car, and they blared their horn. I forced my eyes to the road, my jaw tight.
How was I so bad at protecting the girls in my life?
I couldn’t remember any of my past sexual experiences. I knew I had them, but they were shoved down into a dark recess of my mind, hidden away. With her, I wanted things to be different. Now my only clear memory of being intimate with someone was tainted by my own failures.
“Jesus fucking Christ.”
“Don’t use the Lord’s name in vain.” She said it as a reflex.
Then she laughed again. A snort.
She didn’t slap her hand over her mouth to take it back. Something stung about that. A creeping responsibility travelled up my spine. My own innocence was shattered when I was thirteen, and I would get my revenge on those who harmed me soon enough.
If I sent her away now, would she also burn with the need for vengeance?
Would she want to hurt me back?
If anyone could get to me, I would want it to be her.
The plans for Idaho were on hold. She needed to feel safe and cared for. I didn’t know how to do that but I’d figure it out. I owed her that much for dragging her into the dark with me.
“Where are we going?” she asked as I made a sharp U-turn. She wasn’t alarmed. Her voice was numb, distant. Disassociated. I knew it well.
“I’m taking you to my place.”
I was grateful she didn’t protest, but it broke my heart. This was the woman brave enough to tell me she wouldn’t let me come to her house, demanded I meet her in a public place. She didn’t trust me, couldn’t after what I did, and I feared she didn’t care what happened to her at this point.
I’d get her to the penthouse, wash her up.
Fuck, I’d have to get her the morning-after pill.
Would she take it? I couldn’t let her get knocked up.
She was young. Had so much life in her. I didn’t know how her cult felt about contraceptives.
Or about how she felt about the cult, for that matter.
She ran away from it, but that didn’t tell me much.
New clothes. Would she like something modest and covering? I’d buy a few options for her. Did she have any comfortable loungewear in that little bag?
“I’m sorry, Belle.” She didn’t reply, and I didn’t need her to. My apologies meant nothing after I put her in that situation, and I didn’t deserve forgiveness.
Rain splashed beneath my tires, the V12-engine purred as we left downtown and drove towards the edge of town where my penthouse was.
I pulled into the underground garage beneath the condo.
I bought the full four-stories, but only lived in the top two.
The privacy was worth the cost. The barrier retracted; a digital key in the car activated it.
Rurik was right behind us as I opened the passenger door for her. I fucking hated him being there. What use was he, if he didn’t protect Evelyn when she needed it? I couldn’t trust him around her.
He had a potential use, though, and I lowered my voice, hoping Evelyn wouldn’t hear. “She needs the morning-after pill.”
“I have to watch you,” Rurik refused.
“It’s around the corner. I have airtight security on this place.”
Rurik looked between her and I, then relented. I bent down to pick her up again.
An unfamiliar tension snapped inside me, a possessive need to protect her.
No one could touch her.
No one else would ever lay one hand on her innocent body.