Chapter Ten
Jo
The sedan had been Silas’s old, faithful distraction.
It smelled faintly of oil, the way a good tool should.
I backed out of the Winston sisters’ driveway, Nate settled in the passenger seat beside me.
We’d managed to get the monstrous fake Christmas tree inside, and while the sisters and Mr. Carlisle argued lovingly over where to plug in the pre-lit branches, I’d taken a moment to appreciate their home.
It was small, old, but utterly spotless.
Everything was worn smooth by use, warmed by history.
It was the kind of humble, cherished space that whispered of permanence.
“I’ll drop you off at your car,” I said, pulling onto the main road.
“If it wasn’t a Zagato,” Nate mused, leaning his head back against the worn vinyl, “I wouldn’t worry. But leaving that thing out in the open feels like bait.”
“I get it,” I agreed. “This town is safe, but is any town safe with a six-figure car left overnight?”
“I wouldn’t know, honestly. I grew up in the city.” He turned his head to look at me, his eyes both casual and intense. “How about you? Where do you consider home?”
The question was simple, but it hit me like a torque wrench to the solar plexus.
Home. I drove in silence for a moment, letting the internal machinery of my thoughts whir.
There had been so many places. Some had been more comfortable than others.
Better light, faster Wi-Fi, fewer neighbors.
But had I ever considered any of them home?
Shouldn’t a home feel permanent? Overflowing with laughter and shared traditions? Safe? Like this town?
No, I told myself, clutching the steering wheel. That’s the kind of thinking that will only make me sad when I leave.
Instead of facing that brutal truth or his simple question, I dodged. “I don’t think Mr. Carlisle appreciated us dropping off the tree.”
“Or how long we stayed. I shouldn’t have eaten as much as I did, but those ladies sure can cook.”
“I completely agree. The glares Mr. Carlisle gave you, though, when you complimented Bibi’s pecan pie. If looks could kill . . .”
Nate chuckled. “That man is a giant. If he were twenty years younger, those looks he was giving me might have had me concerned.”
Relief flooded me. A normal conversation. A moment I could handle.
I joked, “When he mentioned his multiple tours of duty, I was concerned for you.”
Nate smiled from the passenger seat, a genuine, easy grin. “It wouldn’t be the first time someone pulled a gun on me in this town . . . not even the first time this weekend.”
The reminder of how we’d met was a reality slap in the face, a sharp clank of metal against metal that jarred me back to my senses.
What the hell was I thinking? I was letting myself relax and enjoying myself when all that did was put my entire mission at risk.
This wasn’t my home. Nate wasn’t a potential partner.
And the only reason flirting with him made any sense at all was because I desperately needed to keep him distracted so he didn’t go looking around the garage.
“Hey,” Nate said, his voice soft, perceptive. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing, really.” I cleared my throat, forcing practicality back into the air. “It was nice of you to say you’d let them still have Cutting Day.” Not that I’d be around to see it. “But can you really take time off from your work like that?”
Nate frowned, shifting in his seat. “I’m expected back on Monday, but since I’m the boss, I can rearrange some things and spend more time up here.” His voice lowered, the implication clear. “If you’d like that.”
Me?
My hands clenched the steering wheel, knuckles white. “I’d rather you don’t; I’m perfectly okay with watching the place until Frank returns.”
I hated how that lie caught in my throat. As soon as Nate left, I needed to as well. Promises or no promises. I didn’t like the necessary deception, but some things were more important than feelings.
We drove in silence for a few minutes, the only sound the low rumble of the engine.
“You don’t have to leave,” he said, his voice low.
Oh, God. Those words tore through me like a broken wire.
I swallowed hard, recognizing that I had to push him away, and quickly.
“Nate, what I do or don’t do is really none of your business.
” I pushed myself to be cruel, even though everything in me wanted to be the opposite.
“Just like this town. They’ll be fine without you and pretending you care about them won’t bring Silas back. ”
“Ouch.” He drummed his fingers on his knee. “Is that what you think I’m doing? Pretending to care?”
I didn’t know what I was saying, only that I’d crossed a line. Would it kill me to pretend to like him long enough to get him to relax his guard enough to leave? He needed to go so I could clear out of there. I needed to be smarter about this.
“No,” I conceded, letting my breath out slowly. “I shouldn’t have said that. It’s been a long . . . few months. I’m sorry.”
He reached out and took one of my hands from the steering wheel. I told myself I let him because I had to. A necessary peace offering. But his touch was more grounding and reassuring than I should have allowed. “I don’t know what you’ve been through, Jo, but if you need something . . .”
Sanity? Strength? My brain to turn back on?
“I do,” I said huskily. “Time. I need time. It feels like my life is rushing by me in fast forward, and I can’t stop to catch my breath.”
He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “What can I do to help?”
Oh, God. This feels so wrong and so right at the same time.
“Go back to the city on Sunday. I’ll putter around here, and then next weekend . . .” I’ll be gone.
His hand was warm around mine, and the heat of that connection sent flames licking through me, but they couldn’t matter.
When he spoke, his voice was deep and even. “Jo, I do have work waiting for me, so going back makes sense . . . at least this time. And I don’t know what this is between us, but you feel it too, don’t you?”
I could give him that much honesty, even while I kept my eyes glued to the road ahead. “I do.”
He brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “Then take all the time you need.”
I fought back an urge to rip my hand from his grasp, not because I didn’t want him to touch me, but because I didn’t want him to stop. But that would be stupid, and stupidity was one thing I couldn’t afford to have.
He released my hand, and the absence of his touch was more confusing than its presence had been.
The sedan coughed and rattled to a stop behind his immaculate black Zagato.
This hadn’t been a date. It hadn’t been anything at all. We’d only met up because . . . “Thank you for checking that I wasn’t stranded somewhere.”
“You’re welcome.”
“As you can see, though, I’m a good mechanic.”
He turned a little in his seat to face me. “I didn’t doubt your skill. Some people crumble in the face of a challenge, but not you. You dig in and figure it out.”
I looked out my side window, avoiding his gaze. “You don’t know that.”
He reached over, cupped my chin, and brought my face around until meeting his eyes was unavoidable. “Yes, I do.” Ever so briefly, he ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “I’ll follow you back to the house.”
“I don’t need you to.”
“But I want to,” he said, just before he leaned in and kissed my lips so gently I gasped. “Almost as much as I want you.” With that, he withdrew and let himself out of the car.
I sat there, frozen, while he started his car then waited.
When I pulled away from the curb, he did the same, his headlights steady in my rearview mirror.
Even my father, a man whose love for me wasn’t something I’d ever doubted, had never watched over me the way Nate was offering to. I didn’t want to like it, but I did.
That didn’t mean I could stay.
All it meant was that this town had found another way to break my heart.
First, by offering me, with Silas, a taste of what it might feel like to belong, before ripping it away.
And now, teasing me with a glimpse of a life I could never have .
. . with a man who would never trust me if he knew who I was.