Chapter 10
Jeremy
Nothing could have prepared me for sleeping in the same bed as Austin Bennett again.
We’d started off back to back, and all I could focus on all night was the heat radiating off of him.
With the way he kept shifting, there was no way he’d gotten very good sleep either.
It was like it became his mission to make sure we never touched, which was impossible given the size of the bed and how big both of us were.
Not to mention that being in such close proximity all night gave me the world’s worst hard-on.
I hadn’t been that turned on in God knows how long.
All I could do was breathe in his citrusy scent all night.
It was everywhere. Soaked into his pillows, blankets, and the air around me.
I would have given anything to turn around and bury my nose in his neck, to take deep lungfuls of him until I was dizzy with need.
But now was not the right time.
It may never be the right time ever again. I threw that chance out the window the second I ghosted him three years ago.
“Are you awake yet?”
I snorted, rolling over and bumping shoulders with Austin. “To be fair? I don’t think I ever went to sleep.”
He laughed a little in return. “Okay, so I’m not alone in that.”
It shouldn’t have made me feel better knowing he struggled, but we had to fix this if I was going to keep staying here. It wouldn’t work if neither of us got any sleep.
“Maybe tonight I can sleep on the floor?” I asked cautiously, because last night he’d been adamant that we could handle this. Clearly we couldn’t.
“No. If anyone is sleeping on the floor, it’s me. You’re a guest in this house.”
That had me laughing harder than before. “An unwelcome one at that. You’re only housing me because I’m stuck.”
Austin sat up in bed, causing me to land against the mattress. I stared up at him, and heat rushed to my face. It’s been a minute since I’d been in this position, but I remembered it like it was yesterday.
My mind wandered back to the last time. It’d been a week before I’d pulled my disappearing act, and Austin had invited me over to watch a movie.
We all know what that means. There was no movie watching involved.
Sure, we’d turned one on, but it was quickly forgotten in the background as we got lost in each other, our kisses growing heated and frantic until we’d stripped each other of our clothes, given each other sloppy hand jobs and then laid there sticky and panting on his couch.
Thinking about those things was a bad idea.
Terrible even. Because there I was, lying in his bed, starting to chub up, and there wouldn’t be any way for me to hide it in our current position.
Hell, we were both men. It was a natural part of our wake-up procedure, right?
Except, there’d been no actual sleeping involved.
Maybe some random dozing, but nothing lasting.
“I wouldn’t say you were completely unwelcome...”
My breath caught at the admission. Austin’s eyes softened as he said it, and he hesitantly pushed some hair back from my face. The longer we stayed there, the more I was tempted to pull him on top of me and relive some of our earlier times together.
And then someone was pounding on the door. “Austin! Get your ass up. I want to go get breakfast.”
Leah. That was an issue. She was pissed and had every right to be. Though, it wasn’t fair to make her brother suffer just because he’d been nice to me and let me stay.
Austin groaned as he climbed from the bed, and a small part of me took pride in the fact that I hadn’t been the only one affected by our positions. The front of his pajama pants tented out a bit as he crossed the room and grabbed clean clothes from his luggage.
“Freaking Leah. I love her, but I don’t know why we have to get moving first thing in the morning.
It was her own fault for waiting until the last second to go shopping.
” Austin continued to mutter as he stripped his t-shirt over his head, which did nothing to settle down my own state of arousal.
It didn’t even help when he pulled on the thick navy blue thermal shirt.
Nope, because right after that he turned away from me to push down his pajama pants, and my mouth watered at how good his round ass looked in his tight boxer briefs.
But that was enough tempting myself for the morning.
I needed to get up, and as much as I knew Leah would hate me tagging along at that point, I couldn’t spend Christmas with her family and not have anything to give people.
There was a chance that they wouldn’t appreciate anything at that point, either.
I was still thankful for a roof over my head, so I was going to do something nice for the Bennett family no matter what.
I rolled out of bed and found my bag on the other side of the room.
As carefully as I could, I shuffled through my belongings until I found something to wear for the day.
There was a heavy sweater that I could wear under my thicker jacket, and my jeans were pretty warm.
If Austin had been comfortable enough to change in front of me, then I could do it as well.
Though I had slept without a shirt, as it was.
My sweater was thick red wool, and it would be itchy, but I’d sacrifice the comfort for the warmth. Maybe while we were out shopping, I could find a few long-sleeved shirts. In retrospect, I should have packed more warm clothes, but I hadn’t expected it to snow like it had last night.
“Do you think it’ll be okay with me tagging along today?” I don’t know what possessed me to ask.
Austin only shrugged when I turned to face him. “I don’t know. We’ll make it work.”
I was starting to hate that line. There was no need for everyone to make things work for me. I was putting this family in a weird position over a major holiday. Maybe I would end up checking into some motels in the area while we were out today. There was no reason to keep this up.
Leah was at the bottom of the stairs, her dark brown hair pulled back into a messy bun. She was already bundled up with her purse slung over her shoulder, and when she saw both me and her brother, she only rolled her eyes before storming out the front door.
“I can stay—”
“Stop. Don’t let her get to you. It’ll be better if you come with us than if you stay here with our parents, trust me.”
Austin had a point. I couldn’t imagine the grilling I would have gotten had I stayed behind. I could handle a cold shoulder for a few hours. Hell, even a few snarky remarks couldn’t get under my skin.
Leah stood next to the passenger door of Austin’s SUV, and as soon as he unlocked the door she climbed in and glared at the two of us. It didn’t bother me. If she wanted to sit next to her brother, that was fine. The back was okay. It was a stupid thing to get into a fight over.
The drive to the shopping district was short.
Austin and Leah’s family lived relatively close to downtown.
We found parking in a parking garage, paid to keep it there for a few hours and then headed out onto the crowded street to find a place to eat.
Even after spending the last few years in New York, I wasn’t used to seeing so many people out and about.
Then again, I often made sure to avoid places I knew would be crowded.
Keeping up with her tantrum, Leah marched ahead of us until she came to the entrance of a little diner.
She pulled the door wide and slipped inside without waiting for either of us.
Most of our relationship had been that way.
When she set her mind on what she wanted, there was no talking her into something different.
So many red flags. I’d ignored every one of them.
By the time me and Austin made it into the restaurant, Leah had already found a spot at the bar. At least she wasn’t being completely cruel and had picked a spot where all three of us could sit. She was studying the menu when Austin took the seat next to her.
“In the mood for something greasy this morning?”
She hummed before flipping over the menu. “Don’t know. I just know they have mimosas here, and that’s all I really care about.” She slammed the menu on the counter, and I couldn’t help but notice her left hand was missing the ring.
That slithery, gross feeling was back in my stomach.
She’d been so excited the day I’d proposed and had rushed to tell her friends at school.
The ring hadn’t been inexpensive either.
It wasn’t any of my business, but part of me wondered what she’d done with it after the big blowup. It wasn’t mine anymore.
The waiter came to the end of the bar with his ticket pad in hand.
Leah didn’t even give him a chance to introduce himself.
“Can I get two over-easy eggs, some toast, a side of hash browns, and a mimosa, please?” At least the guy took it in great stride, giving her a soft smile and quickly writing things down.
“What about you, gentlemen?”
I hadn’t even looked at the menu and rushed to decide while Austin ordered eggs benedict. His idea sounded really good, so when the waiter turned to me, I copied him and added a cup of coffee.
At least the rest of the meal seemed to go off without a hitch.
Leah sort of kept to herself, but by the time she ordered the third mimosa, Austin was nudging her and reminding her about what had happened when she’d had too much to drink the other night.
She glared at him, clearly not amused by his concern before promptly ordering a fourth.
By the time we left the small diner, she was swaying a little, and we hadn’t even started any shopping yet.
The chilly morning air seemed to sober her up a little, and before long she was maneuvering in and out of stores like a well-seasoned shopper.
It was like she’d spent her life training for this moment.
It didn’t matter that most places were packed shoulder to shoulder with people; she moved and dodged like no one was in front of her.
Austin and I struggled to keep up with her in most places, she had the audacity to act irritated when she went to hand off bags when neither of us were right there with her.
Leah was a woman on a mission. At least she knew what she wanted and what stores to get it from.
It didn’t leave much room for me to do any shopping, and on more than one occasion, I had to put something back that I was considering because she was ready to leave.
Part of me knew she was doing it intentionally, anything to prevent me from trying to win her family over again.
This wasn’t the Leah I loved. She wasn’t vindictive or cruel. While I’d hurt her pretty badly, that still didn’t excuse her behavior. While Austin had a few more years to heal, he was being much kinder, and in my mind, what I’d done to him had been much crueler.
It took hours. By the time we’d finished shopping it was almost dinnertime, my feet were numb from the amount of walking we’d done.
Not to mention how freaking cold it was outside.
Every time we stepped out of a store onto the snow-covered sidewalks I couldn’t wait until we entered the next building.
Not because I wanted to dodge more people, but because the second we were inside I didn’t have to deal with the biting wind that was enough to knock the breath out of me.
I managed to buy something small for everyone, including Leah. She’d probably hate it at this point, but I’d do anything to show her how sorry I was. I never meant to drag her along for so long because she deserved so much better than that.