Chapter 15
Austin
Icouldn’t wipe the smile off my face as I sat at the table for breakfast. If anyone asked, it was because it was Christmas Eve. The whole family knew it was my favorite holiday, and no one would be any wiser about the fact that I’d thigh fucked Jeremy in my bed last night.
He’d seemed a little unsure of things when we got up, but I assured him we could make it through the holiday, then discuss things.
I wasn’t about to let him slip through my fingers again.
He sat across from me at the table sipping at a cup of coffee, my smile tried to stretch even further across my face.
Leah came into the room, looked between the two of us and scowled. “What has you in such a good mood this morning?”
“Merry Christmas Eve, sis. I see you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, again.”
She huffed and then nodded at Jeremy. “You could say that.”
Leah helped herself to the pot of oatmeal that was on the stove, doctoring it up with brown sugar and a little milk before sitting next to me.
“What did you get up to last night?” I asked her, trying my best to keep the conversation as neutral as possible.
“Well, someone commandeered all the wrapping supplies, so I’ll need to get that from you at some point, so I ended up listening to an audiobook and going to bed early.”
At least she wasn’t suspicious about what I’d been up to with her ex. Hell, he was mine first. It didn’t make it any better that I was sleeping with him within days of them breaking up. And their relationship had been far more serious than ours had been.
Jeremy stood from the table after he finished his cup of coffee and carried his dishes to the sink.
He rinsed them before loading them into the dishwasher.
As he slunk past me to head back upstairs, he gently tapped my shoulder.
I looked up at him and gave him a subtle wink.
If we were going for discreet, we were failing, but it was sort of fun seeing this playful side of him again.
“What was that?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, scooping more oatmeal into my mouth.
Leah stared at me before leaning back in her seat and crossing her arms over her chest.
“You know what I’m talking about. Don’t go getting all buddy, buddy with him, Austin. He may be bi, but he’s off limits after what he did.”
I choked on my food, my eyes wide as I looked at my sister. “I’m just trying to be nice. Could you put yourself in his shoes for a minute? How would you feel if you were stuck in a house with everyone who hated your guts?”
Leah groaned in frustration, threading her fingers through her long brown strands. “In case I haven’t made it clear, I don’t really care how he feels at this point.”
I couldn’t take it anymore. This wasn’t my sister. She was better than that, hurt or not.
“Yeah, you do. I know it stings right now, but at least he admitted it and didn’t drag things out further.”
She sighed, rubbing at her temples before picking up her cup of coffee to sip it. “I don’t know, Austin. It would be one thing if this had only been a couple of months, but I gave him years. We were engaged, and sure, maybe I should have held off on some of the bigger purchases...”
I laughed because she wasn’t wrong. “Mom would be pissed if she knew you bought that dress without her.”
Leah groaned, hitting her forehead against the table. “I know. I was just so excited when it all happened. One of my friends talked me into going window shopping, and I just... fell in love with it, you know.”
I placed my hand on her back, rubbing in slow, soothing circles. “I get it. And maybe it’s still the perfect dress. Just maybe not for marrying Jeremy. Admit it, when you pictured yourself walking down the aisle, was he at the other end of it?”
My sister was quiet for a few long moments as she thought over my question. Her continued silence was answer enough without her saying anything.
“Does it make me a bad person?”
I huffed out a laugh as I pulled her into a loose hug. “I don’t think so, but I think it means you should cut the guy some slack. The second you two showed up, I could tell something was off. I wanted to be happy for you, but there just wasn’t...”
“The spark? Yeah. There never was much of one. He’s always been such a good friend. And maybe that was our flaw. We used friendship as a crutch and just kept going, ignoring the signs.”
I nodded as she talked, glad that she realized Jeremy wasn’t the only one to blame for their inevitable demise.
They’d played equal parts in their failure to properly communicate.
It was something I didn’t want to repeat, and why I’d stressed so much with Jeremy that morning that we needed to seriously discuss things.
“You’re allowed to be hurt, allowed to feel it for a while, but maybe not be so aggressive.”
When Leah finally laughed and looked up at me with a watery smile, I pulled her into a proper hug.
Her arms looped around my neck, and it felt good to have a conversation with her like that again.
It brought me back to the days before we’d separated for college.
Back when we could sit and tell each other anything, when we didn’t hide things from each other.
Except... I still was. Guilt gnawed at me a bit because part of the reason I wanted her to make up with Jeremy was so that it would soften the blow later. I wanted things to work out, and realistically I knew she’d still get mad when she found out.
Mom came into the kitchen to finish up the dishes. She always made a big meal for both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, that meant her kitchen had to be spotless before she destroyed it. Leah and I quickly finished up our breakfast,helped her to load the dishwasher, and disappeared upstairs.
Jeremy was sitting on the bed reading, and I gave him a smile when he frowned to see Leah standing in the doorway.
I picked up the box of wrapping supplies, something warm spread through me when I watched my sister give him a small smile and wave before heading back across the hall.
It wasn’t much, but an olive branch went a long way.
The room was far more disorganized than I had been expecting when I followed Leah inside. My sister had always been very particular about keeping things neat and tidy, so to see clothes strewn all over the floor and things knocked over on the shelves was quite a shock.
“Leah—”
“Don’t, Austin. I’ve obviously not been myself.”
Instead of prodding her any further, I set the box on her bed, backed out of the room and crossed the hall again.
I was still worried about her. It was hard not to when you saw someone you loved completely crumbling before your eyes.
At least now she had a better outlook on her situation with Jeremy.
Speaking of…
He was still sitting on the bed when I re-entered the room, but he’d placed his e-reader on the nightstand.
“Is everything okay?” He asked, genuine concern seeping into his words, leaning forward, resting his elbows on his knees and nodding toward the door.
I gave a short nod. “She’s getting there. We had a good little talk. I can’t promise that everything is going to be sunshine and rainbows overnight, but she’s going to work on it.”
He stood and walked over to me. I quickly shut the door behind me, hitting the lock again. It was too risky to do anything during the daytime, but damn did I want to feel his lips against mine again. The night before hadn’t been nearly enough.