Chapter 20
Jeremy
Everything seemed to shift after that. By the time we all sat down for dinner, even Mr. and Mrs. Bennett were being pleasant again. I hadn’t faulted them for being upset at first. At least we could all have a good holiday.
“So what are your plans when you go home?” Mrs. Bennett asked Leah.
She looked between the two of us, it was a valid question because there was no way we could keep living together now that it was all over.
New York was expensive, and my job didn’t pay that well.
Leah had been doing me a favor by splitting the cost of our place.
“I’m not sure. We have a little while to figure it out.” Leah pushed some of the roasted potatoes around her plate as she spoke before turning to give me a weak smile. She’d never toss me out on the street, but it was a sign that we needed to sort things out sooner rather than later.
Austin cleared his throat, setting his napkin on the table and getting everyone’s attention.
“I actually just got a pretty big promotion at work. I know internet security doesn’t sound all that exciting, but I was able to develop this new code that does a better job at protecting healthcare information. ..”
The room stayed quiet, I swallowed because, what the hell was that? Did Austin’s family not care as much about what he did?
“That’s amazing,” I finally said.
Leah looked over at me as I gave her brother a big smile before lifting a bite of the roast to my mouth and shoving it inside. If I didn’t, I was bound to do something stupid, like continuing to talk.
When Austin didn’t continue with his story about his work success, something heavy settled in my chest. It wasn’t fair that their parents seemed so much more invested in their daughter versus their son.
They weren’t bad people, it was obvious that they loved their kids, but something was missing when it came to Austin.
Maybe it was because he’d moved so far across the country?
“Have you been seeing anyone lately?” Leah finally asked, breaking the silence, but it didn’t ease the tension in the slightest.
Austin’s shoulders lifted to his ears, and I knew why. He had a big-ass secret which was my own damn fault.
“Uhm, no? I wasn’t seeing anyone back in San Francisco.” He danced around the answer like a ballerina who’d been practicing for the big performance for years. He hadn’t lied, just omitted the truth.
Leah rolled her eyes. “Jeeze, come on. You haven’t dated anyone seriously since that guy broke your heart freshman year.”
That seemed to get the attention of their parents, while I choked on the food I’d been trying to swallow.
“What is she talking about, Austin?” their mother asked.
Our eyes met across the table for the briefest of moments, but it was enough to send my pulse skyrocketing.
He pressed his fingers into his temples. “It’s not that big of a deal.”
Mrs. Bennett shook her head, standing from her spot, rounding the table to stand behind her son. Her hands landed on his shoulders, and maybe this was the moment I was looking for where it showed that they cared about him just as much as they did Leah.
“That’s nonsense. Why didn’t you tell us anything?”
Austin huffed out a laugh. “This is why. I was in California, on the other side of the country, and I didn’t want to freak you out. It sucked, and it broke my trust with people for a while...”
Our eyes connected again,my heart shattered in my chest. I’d never meant to do something like that to him. We’d been two young, dumb teenagers in college, and I’d made a huge mistake. The last few days felt like he was giving me a shot. I needed to do everything in my power not to fuck it up again.
“Oh, honey—”
“Mom, it’s fine. It was years ago, I’ll move on eventually.”
That made my face heat and the floor drop out from under me.
I didn’t want Austin to move on. Right then and there I made up my mind that I’d figure it out.
If it meant I had to move back to California, I’d do it.
It wasn’t like my family had tried to reach out to me since I’d left.
They probably wouldn’t even notice that I was back.
It didn’t stop the little voice in the back of my head that there was a chance they could see me, see who I was with and pass judgment, but did I really care anymore?
Not really. My happiness was more important.
It didn’t matter that Austin had tried to reassure his mother—she pulled him from his chair wrapping him in a tight hug. All I could do was watch because this was all because of me. I’d hurt both of their children at some point. I wasn’t going to win over these parents at the end of the day.
And that’s when I looked over to see Leah watching me, her eyes squinted in interest.
Sweat beaded on my back, and if my heart didn’t slow down soon, I was bound to have a heart attack. You could have those at twenty-four, right? Hell, you could probably have them at any age, but I was in the prime of my life and in great shape. I didn’t need the vital organ giving out on me now.
My hand thudded a little too hard against the table, making the utensils and glasses bounce as I set down my napkin. Crap, now everyone was watching me. “Uhm, if you’ll excuse me for a moment.”
I stood from my chair and rushed to the bathroom in the hall, closing the door behind me.
My back rested against the wood as I struggled to pull in lungfuls of air because the space was maybe a little too small for my freak-out.
I closed my eyes for a moment the room spinning wasn’t helping anything, I lunged for the sink, turned the tap all the way to cold and splashed water onto my face.
Get your shit together, Jeremy.
Just when I thought I was starting to calm down, someone knocked on the door.
“Jeremy?”
My eyes closed again, I splashed a little more water on my face before answering Leah.
“I’m fine.”
She jiggled the door handle, when the door opened, I groaned, realizing that I’d forgotten to lock the damn thing.
Leah stood in the doorway, her entire posture stiff as she stared me down. “Jesus, Jer. This doesn’t look like you’re fine. What the hell happened back there?”
I shook my head because I didn’t know how to answer the question without throwing both me and Austin under the proverbial bus.
Maybe she thought that it wasn’t about her brother, but about the situation with us because the next thing I knew, she was at my side and rubbing my back.
“You know we have time when we get back. It’ll be a little awkward at first, but I’m not just going to kick you out.
I don’t think either of us can afford that place on our own. ”
It was probably a little fucked up that I chose that moment to laugh, but it was hard not to. At least she didn’t suspect that I’d already been fucking around with her brother.
“There you guys are.”
I jumped at the sound of Austin’s voice, it was stupid because it wasn’t like I was doing anything wrong.
Years of hiding things made someone naturally jumpy.
It caused issues for Leah and me from time to time, but she learned quickly that I was just someone who didn’t handle surprises all that well.
Doing my best to play off that I almost just gave us away, I wiped the extra moisture from my face. “It’s all good. We were just coming back.”
Austin nodded. “Well, Mom is clearing the table. She thought we were all done since everyone was getting up. Might as well come to the living room and wait for her to bring out dessert.”
I sighed because the dinner had been amazing. Hopefully, Mrs. Bennett hadn’t thought I was being rude by not finishing things.