CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Astrid
Instead of taking us to his room, as I thought, we land on the border of our kingdom, right where we once fought vampires together.
“Why are we here?” I ask, looking out over the terrain. We’re on a hill overlooking the vampire territory filled with thick, lush trees shaded in moonlight. It’s not safe to be here, yet I feel nothing but safe with the male standing next to me. Even if he has hurt me and broken our trust, I still know he would do anything to protect me.
“You know I’ve never claimed to be a good male. I’ve done some terrible things, some I’m not proud of. I know you heard things about me, which is why you didn’t want me in the first place. And I know I lied to you. I was so fucking scared anything else you found out would push you further away, and I didn’t know you well enough to risk Vale,” he says, tilting my face up to look into my eyes.
“But ever since I met you, I’ve been trying to be better. To be worthy of you. I don’t care if I’m the villain in everyone’s story as long as I’m everything in yours. I don’t care how long it takes, I will regain your trust. I love you, Astrid. I used to think of having a mate as a way to become more powerful, but that changed the second I met you. Now, I want you. Fuck the magic. Fuck my title. I just want you .”
His vulnerability takes me by surprise and lowers my guard a little. “I trusted you, Rave, even though I knew I shouldn’t. I still did, and you made me regret it.”
“I know,” he whispers, running his thumb along my jawline.
“I want the truth, the whole ugly truth, not just you telling me what I want to hear,” I demand, resting my hand on his forearm.
“What do you want to know?” he asks, and I realize I’m asking him to be honest when I haven’t told him everything. But his comment about only wanting a mate for the power made me think about my first vision of him and how he’d somehow taken my magic from me. Was that what he had originally intended?
Raking my teeth over my bottom lip, I ask something I’ve wanted to know for a long time now. “Before I came along, were you in a relationship with Vera? Did you dump her because of me, or were the two of you already done?”
When he drops his hand from my face and runs it through his dark hair, I know I’m not going to like this answer. “Vera and I were on and off again for a long time. We had ended things for good when she told me she was pregnant with Vale, and then we tried to make it work for him. I didn’t want to have a child with someone other than my mate, and I didn’t want to be in a committed relationship either. I don’t think it’s fair on anyone, knowing we could meet our fated mates at any time.”
“But you still got her pregnant,” I point out, arching my brow.
He nods slowly. “She was taking the contraceptive herbs, and apparently, she had forgotten.”
“Is that why you offered to take them with us? You didn’t trust me to?” I ask him, frowning. Did he think I’d trick him, too, like she did? Because there is no doubt in my mind, she tried to trap him.
“Astrid,” he growls out, a muscle working in his jaw. “I said I’d take them so you didn’t have to worry about it. If you wanted a child, I’d give you one right now. You said you wanted to wait, so we’re going to wait. All you have to do is ask, and I will make it happen.”
“Anything I want?” I ask.
“Anything,” he replies, icy-blue eyes scanning my face. “If you wanted the fucking moon, I would get it for you.”
Thinking over his words, I press further. “When did you fuck her last?”
His throat works as he swallows. “A few months before you strolled into the palace gardens.”
“I see,” I reply, the thought of him being with another woman making my skin crawl. “Do you love her?”
His eyes flash. “No, I don’t. I care about her as my son’s mother. I respect her and probably let her get away with far too much for that reason, but I don’t love her, no. I’ve never felt for another woman what I feel for you.”
“And who have you fucked between her and me? Because I know you haven’t been alone for a few months.”
There’s no way, and I want to know if the rumors I heard were true.
His jaw tightens. “No one who will be an issue.”
“So, you did fuck around the entire eight kingdoms?” I ask, my eyes narrowing.
“No, but I didn’t go without. Anyone before you doesn’t matter, Astrid. My life is in two parts… before you and after you. And be on my ass for anything that happens after I met you, but don’t hold the before against me,” he replies, his eyes almost pleading with me. “I didn’t know it would be like this. I had no fucking idea, or I would have just waited for you.”
My eyes widen as I process that.
“Now I have a question for you,” he continues.
“What?” I ask, biting the inside of my cheek.
“Has Bane made a move on you? Tried to kiss you?” he asks through clenched teeth. “I’ve seen how he looks at you. It’s the same way August does. And I don’t fucking like it.”
Something in his tone warns me to tread very carefully.
“And how do you look at me then?”
“I look at you like you are my fucking heart, and they look at you like you are water, and they are dying of thirst. Like you can save them from this miserable immortal existence and give their life some meaning. But for me, you aren’t just water. You are the whole fucking ocean and mine to love and protect. Now answer my question.”
Love and protect?
I want to remind him of his lies and throw those words in his face, but I bite my tongue instead.
“No, he hasn’t,” I reply, my brow furrowing. “Bane has been nothing but a gentleman to me.”
“If it wouldn’t upset you, I would fucking destroy him,” he mutters, pulling me against his hard body.
“You fucked up, Rave. There’s no point blaming anyone else. You don’t get to threaten the people who have come to support me when you’re the one who hurt m-me,” I say, my voice cracking a little.
“You don’t think I know that?” he says into my hair. “Trust me, I do. I know I’m the one who ruined everything, but I will also be the one to fix it.”
He says it like an oath.
“How do you fix the ocean you’ve poisoned, Rave?” I ask in a soft tone, and his breath hitches.
“One bucket at a fucking time if I have to,” he whispers, fingers sliding along my face, tracing my lips so sweetly and gently that it makes me want to break down in his arms.
“Come on, let’s get you in bed.” He sighs, kissing the top of my head.
We zip to the front of the palace and walk inside hand in hand.
I really want to trust him, but after everything he hid from me, it’s not making me want to tell him my biggest secret.
“You’re back,” Soren says as he runs into us in the long hallway leading to our rooms. He stops in front of us, gray eyes giving me a once-over.
“Did you think I was going to do a runner?” I ask in a dry tone.
“Never know with you, Princess,” he replies, his lip twitching. He then turns to Rave. “We have a council meeting tomorrow morning. The Shifter King’s seer has seen a few things that will help us plan our next move with the vampires.”
The mention of Laurel, the seer, makes my stomach sour. The way I’ve seen her being treated and the hollow look in her eyes still haunts me.
Rave nods. “Astrid was attacked tonight. People are finding out about her succubus side and now want to kidnap her.”
Soren sighs and runs his fingers through his blond hair. “Fucking perfect.”
“We will discuss it all tomorrow,” Rave says, dismissing Soren.
He leads me to our bedroom and strips me bare. Rave fills up the tub and lets me soak in it, washing away the last traces of Bane’s blood. When I’m done, he dries me with a soft towel and tucks me in bed like I’m precious.
I’m almost asleep when I think I hear him whisper, “Please don’t ever leave me.”
But I must be hearing things because Rave would never be so vulnerable.