8. #2
“Boy, I used to do your laundry, so I know what your feet smell like. Get over yourself, and be nice to our guests. Better yet, why don’t you do something productive like start dinner while I finish my nap?”
“It’s not my turn to cook!”
“Pretend it is. Please.”
“What do you want?”
“There’s meat in the fridge. We could have burgers if you want to fire up the grill.”
“That won’t take long. I’m going to hang out in my room for a little while, and then I’ll cook, okay?”
“Thank you, Day. You’re the best.”
“No, I’m not.”
“You are when you wanna be!” Courtney called out after him as he thundered up the stairs. “I love you!”
“Whatever!”
◆◆◆
I had been dozing on the couch for quite a while, not really sleeping much but wondering why I felt so comfortable in this house surrounded by these wild and crazy kids.
So far, one of the boys had tried to shove a LEGO up my nose, the other one had slapped googly eye stickers on the top of my feet, and the little girl had covered me in stuffed animals. Somehow that made me even more inclined to stay as long as I was welcome.
Considering how I grew up, surrounded by family and friends that were like family, it was nothing new to have children running all over the place.
For a long time, I was one of those wild kids, and I had too many great memories to count.
I knew from listening to Courtney and her kids talk and laugh together that they’d all have just as many wonderful memories as I did.
Someday, one of them might be sitting alone in their house with all the things they’d worked so hard to buy and realize that they missed all the craziness and hated how quiet it was.
Even worse, they might realize just how lonely they were and how much they missed being surrounded by the people they loved.
I hoped that they would have the same opportunities as me - to be able to call one of their siblings to chat or get in their truck and pop in for a visit so they could find that camaraderie again, even if it was just for a while.
I heard how much love Courtney had for all of them that day in the coffee shop and then witnessed it firsthand during our non-date on the driveway and again today while I listened to all of them interact.
She was a mama to the core, and her hidden mama bear was a beast that anyone with two working brain cells wouldn’t cross if they could avoid it.
And all of that just made me like her even more.
The fact that she was beautiful was the cherry on top, and it seemed to help mask the fact that she was mean as a stepped-on snake.
I really appreciated that in a woman. I could be a bear sometimes and couldn’t stand the thought of spending my time with someone who didn’t have the balls to stand up to me. Of course, that conviction had gotten me into more bad relationships than I could count.
Somehow I still hadn’t found a woman who was able to balance her wicked tongue and steely spine with a softness for the people around her.
Until now.
“It’s time!” Alana screamed so loud that I swear it shook the picture frames on the mantle. Everyone in the house suddenly took off running, thundering past the couch where I was lying before they bottlenecked at the front door, pushing and shoving each other to get outside.
I lifted my head to figure out what the emergency was and was surprised to see Courtney hurrying behind them with her phone in one hand and a speaker in the other.
“I’ve gotta see this,” I muttered.
By the time I got to the front door, all of the kids were in the yard, and Courtney had set the speaker on the top step next to her feet. Suddenly, the distinctive guitar riff that begins “Crazy Train,” one of my favorite Ozzy Osbourne songs, blasted through the speaker.
The second Ozzy screamed, “All aboard!,” the kids in the yard went wild.
I stepped outside with my phone held up, recording this so I could show my parents - who I knew would appreciate it immensely.
Dayton was off to the side banging his head as he played air guitar, and Dawson was seated on the bottom step beating on an invisible drum set as Alana wailed the lyrics into an imaginary microphone.
Their mosh pit only had two little boys, but they were enjoying the hell out of the music, jumping all over the place while they held their hands up with the universal sign for rock and roll.
Courtney just stood on the porch, surveying the chaos, as neighbors came out to watch the show.
They were about a minute into the song when a middle-aged woman rounded the corner with her leashed dog.
She glared at Courtney and the kids with a scowl, and the second she got even with Courtney’s property line across the street, Courtney raised a hand and started waving like the queen of the homecoming parade.
The woman looked mad enough to spit nails and lifted her own hand to flip off Courtney and the kids until she couldn’t see them anymore.
The song started winding down, and the kids bowed dramatically for the neighbors before Courtney did the same thing, smiling at the applause and whistling.
“Same time tomorrow?” one of the neighbors called out.
“What do you want to hear?” Courtney replied.
“Surprise us!” another neighbor answered.
“Will do! See you then!” Courtney answered as the kids ran past us into the house.
When she turned around and saw me standing there, she smiled and asked, “Can you stay for dinner?”
“What was that?”
“We were promoting healthy neighbor relations and goodwill,” she answered with a perfectly straight face. “Dinner?”
“Fuck yes! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”