21.
Z ANE
“Oh, good grief! Would you be still? It’s not like I’m going to blind you!” I walked around the corner to find Dawson bent backwards over a stool with Courtney holding him in a headlock as she tried to put drops in his eyes.
“It’s gonna burn!” Dawson whined, which was hilarious, considering his voice was already as deep as mine.
“Don’t be a pussy! You act like I’m trying to kill you, and I just might if you don’t get better at this. We have to put the drops in for at least two more weeks!”
“It’s hard to breathe!”
“You won’t need to breathe if you don’t keep your fucking eye open so I can do this!” Courtney yelled.
I heard chuckling behind me and realized that my dad was watching the show too. When I glanced over my shoulder, I saw that my brothers Paxton and Xavier were standing there, too, and they were all grinning as we watched the siblings argue.
“Finally!” Courtney said as she let her brother go.
“It burns!” Dawson complained as he held his hand over his eye.
“It’s better than going blind, dumbass!” Courtney snapped as she tightened the lid on the prescription drops. “Just think . . . we get to do that all over again in four hours. Yippee!”
“I don’t like you at all,” Dawson muttered as he leaned forward and rested his head in his hands.
“You’ll like me a lot less if you start rubbing your eyes and I have to beat your ass and then redo this!” When Courtney looked up and saw us watching her, she narrowed her eyes and said, “I was not cut out to be a nurse.”
“Son, you better stay healthy because the alternative seems painful,” Dad said as he slapped me on the shoulder and walked over to pull Courtney into his arms for a hug. “Do you want me to come back in four hours to hold him down for you?”
“Hey! That’s not fair!” Dawson complained, but he was smiling, so I knew he understood Dad was joking.
“I can handle that lightweight,” Courtney said as she stepped out of Dad’s arms and walked toward me. She gave me a kiss before she asked, “Can I talk to you alone for a minute?”
“Of course,” I told her as I took her hand and walked toward my bedroom. “Will you guys start disassembling my weight stuff? I’m going to store it in the garage for now until I finish out the attic.”
“On it,” Paxton agreed as I turned the corner to go down the short hall.
“Make the baby help you,” Courtney yelled. “And don’t let him rub his eyes!”
The men in the kitchen were still laughing when I closed the bedroom door behind me and then turned to look at Courtney who had flopped down on the bed.
“What’s up, babe?” I asked.
“I’ve been thinking, and I want to lay down some ground rules before we set anything in stone.”
“Does that mean you’re going to move in with me?” I asked.
“It means that I’m grateful you let us stay over last night and that you’re willing to turn your entire house upside down to move us into it, but I do have some issues I need to work through before I say yes.”
“Let me have ‘em. I’ll shoot ‘em down one by one.”
“Okay, cowboy,” Courtney said sarcastically as she sat up and moved back to lean against the headboard. When I put my knee on the foot of the bed to crawl toward her, she put her hand out and shook her head. “I can’t focus when you’re close enough for me to smell you, so . . .”
“Smell me?” I asked self-consciously.
“You smell warm and soapy and like you need to be licked,” she explained with a frown. “It makes it hard for me to think about doing anything but ripping your clothes off, so you’ve gotta give me some space until I get my thoughts out there.”
I smiled when I realized how much my nearness affected her but took a few steps back and leaned against the dresser, hoping that was enough distance for her to get out what she needed to say and enough to stop me from crawling up and pulling her into her arms anyway.
Courtney stared at me for a minute before she said, “I don’t want to be a freeloader, so I’d like to sit down and create a budget that we can agree on that splits things fairly.”
“That sounds reasonable.”
“I’ll also buy all of the groceries since the majority of the people eating them are my responsibility.”
I put one finger up and said, “Point number one I’d like to discuss when you’re finished.”
Courtney nodded and said, “And I want to make it clear that, even though I appreciate your input about the kids, I have the final say when it comes to punishment for any of them.”
“I can agree on that. The only time I’ll intercede is if I feel like one of them is in danger or when they come to me directly. That also brings up the second point I’d like to discuss when it’s my turn.”
“I won’t have anyone yelling at my kids.
I’ll admit that I probably do that too much, but no one else can.
” I started to chuckle at the way she explained that but realized she was dead serious, so I put my hand over my mouth and coughed instead.
Courtney added, “And there will be absolutely no hitting!”
“I’m not a fucking monster, Court,” I said, a little offended that she could even imagine I’d hurt her or one of the kids.
“I’m not saying you are, but it’s best to just put all the cards on the table before something comes up.”
“Okay. You’ve got a good point. What else do you want to throw at me?”
“I want to fix up my grandma’s house so my brothers will always have a place to come home to whenever they want.”
“That’s sweet.”
“I have no idea how I’m going to get it done, but that’s what I’d like to do.”
“I have just the right people for you to talk to about that. Knowing them, they’d jump at the chance to get their hands on a house like that.”
“Who?”
“Jonas and Lawson’s dads, John and Mattie Dean. You’ve met them before, I’m sure. They restore houses, usually to flip them for a profit, but they’re really good at what they do, and even better, they love it.”
“I’d like to talk to them.”
“I’ll arrange that. What else?”
“I didn’t think of adding anything else because I was sure you’d end up arguing with me and I’d forget anyway, so I’ve hit the high points.”
“Okay. Is it my turn?”
“Yes.”
I ignored her earlier warning, leaned over the bed, and reached out for her ankles.
I pulled her down so her head was on the pillow before I crawled up and settled myself over her.
After a long kiss, which calmed her down considerably and took her mind off of things, I lifted my head and smiled at her.
“I love you, Courtney. I love your kids, too, and I’ll do everything in my power to make all of you happy, including any that might come along in the future.”
“You want kids?”
“Haven’t we discussed this before?”
“Sort of . . .”
“That leads me to my first concern about your list of demands.”
“They weren’t demands, they were . . .”
Courtney’s voice trailed off when I frowned at her and interrupted, “A family is a unit that works together for the good of everyone. When someone falters, the others help them stand until they get their balance again. I want us to be a family, and that means I don’t want to be an outsider who watches you raise the children on your own terms. I want in, Court, and not just to your heart, but into your family too.
I want to share the grocery bill, I want to moan and complain because Alana needs my debit card to go shopping, and I want to watch you roll your eyes when the boys tell you about a part they need for whatever machinery they happen to be into at the time. ”
“That’s sweet.”
“I want you to feel secure, in whatever form that takes. If it makes you feel better to have your money in a separate account, that’s your prerogative, but if I want to share my money to support our family, I’m going to do that.”
Courtney’s eyes filled with tears, and she whispered, “You really do get me, don’t you?”
“I’m working on it, but you’ve got a lot of layers, babe. It might take me fifty years to make my way through them all.”
“What’s your number two?”
“I’ll never raise my hand to you or the kids, any of the kids.
I might raise my voice, but I’ll feel like shit about it until I apologize and make it right and then I’ll try to do better.
I love you and I love them, and I want to be the man they look up to and remember things they learned from me when they’re raising their own children. Can you agree to that?”
“I definitely can,” Courtney said as the tears started trailing down her cheeks.
“Good. Now, I might have some other points of discussion later after you figure out the other umpteen rules you want to set in place, but we’ll discuss those right here in our room before we fall into bed together and make each other scream in the best of ways.”
“I like that idea.”
“So, it’s settled? You and the kids are going to move in?”
“It’s settled.”
“That’s the best thing I’ve heard in a while, Courtney.”
“I love you, too, by the way.”
“Wait a sec. I spoke too soon. That is the best thing I’ve ever heard, and I’d like to hear it again and again.”
“For the next fifty years or so?”
“That’s not gonna be long enough, but it’s a start.”
◆◆◆
COURTNEY
“I turned your night light on, you’ve both peed and had a drink, and we’ve read three books. Other than a million kisses, what else do you need before I go?” I asked.
“Not a million kisses!” Leo giggled when I pulled him over and started peppering his face and neck with kisses, just like I’d been doing for years.
This was part of our nightly routine, and I knew that I’d look back fondly on it when he got too big for me to tuck in at night and especially when he got even older and didn’t want me to kiss him at all.
“Enough! That was more than a million!”
“Are you sure?” I asked before I kissed him a few more times. “Maybe I won’t stop until I get one back!”
“I’ll kiss you!” Leo shouted before he grabbed my head and planted a wet kiss on my cheek. “Love you, Mama.”
“I love you, too, my Leo,” I whispered as I brushed my hand over his hair. “Sleep tight, baby.”