18. Katy
Katy
F our months later…
“Hey girls, let me just give that table their bill and I’ll be officially off the clock.”
Carmen strode past our table to talk to her customers, then disappeared into the kitchen. She returned a few minutes later with several platters of food and a basket of bread.
When Steph and I ate at Carmen’s restaurant, she’d often feed us whatever the kitchen had made too much of. Today we had some kind of ravioli, part of a lasagna, a small bowl of clams, and a heaping pile of spaghetti and meatballs. I didn’t need to taste anything to know that it would all be delicious.
“Aw, no oglio olio ?” I complained, just to mess with Carmen.
While everything here was fantastic, the pasta with olive oil and garlic was my favorite.
She just rolled her eyes and handed out plates. “Okay, let’s hear it. We’ve got a whole month of gossip to catch up on.”
The three of us had gotten in the habit of having dinner at Carmen’s once a month to eat delicious food, drink wine, and catch up on our lives. With Steph and I frequently out of town and Carmen working long hours in the restaurant, it was a good way to ensure that we stayed connected. Both of them were in relationships now, so it seemed even more important that we prioritized making time for each other.
Well, technically all three of us were in relationships. Andrew and I had been having our own version of a long distance relationship for four months now. We’d initially agreed to see each other every other weekend, with Andrew coming to Denver one weekend and me going to Lawson the other. By month two we were doing three and four day weekends with the visitor teleworking on weekdays. But those visits were gradually getting longer as time went on.
“I heard Andrew stayed in Denver for the entire week last week,” Steph said slyly.
“You heard that because you had us over for dinner last weekend,” I reminded her, shaking my head at her antics.
“How was it having him there for a longer time?” Carmen asked. “Was he getting under your feet? I know it’s hard to have someone in your space after living alone for so long.”
I shook my head. “No, it’s not really been a problem. When he started coming over I shifted some stuff in my guest room so he could work there during the day. Last week I teleworked two days to keep him company. We sat across from each other at the dining room table on our laptops. It was nice.”
Steph and Carmen exchanged looks, and I had the feeling that they were silently debating who was going to say something. Steph drew the short straw.
“Katy, when are you going to put that man out of his misery and make a commitment?”
“Things are going well the way they are.”
And they were. I was getting more and more comfortable with Andrew, and more importantly, I trusted him. I trusted him more than I trusted anyone in my life, except maybe Steph. I liked spending time with him. We got along well, the sex was good, and we never ran out of things to talk about. And when he was gone, I actually missed him. I’d never really missed anyone before.
That’s when it hit me. I’d fallen in love with him. I guess I’d known it was happening for a while, but this was the first time I’d fully admitted it to myself. I was head over heels for Andrew, the way I knew he was with me.
It must have shown on my face, because Steph pointed at me and said, “There it is.”
“There what is?” I asked in confusion.
“You love him, even though I’m sure you tried your best not to.”
I glared at my friend. “You don’t know that.”
“I do, because you and I are the same and I recognize that look on your face. It’s the one I had the day I realized that Mayor McGrumpy had wormed his way into my heart without me noticing.”
Okay, maybe she did know it.
“Take it from someone who thought she’d lost her true love forever, don’t just let inertia move you along,” Carmen said. “If you love Andrew, if he makes you happy, don’t settle for a long distance part time thing. Figure out a long-term plan for your relationship. Take the chance. Let yourself be happy. I mean, it won’t be perfect. Now that I’m back with Noah, I’m remembering all the things he does to annoy me, but in the end, the good outweighs the bad. By far.”
I looked between my friends. “I need to go.”
“Hold on, let me make you a sandwich for the car since you didn’t eat,” Carmen said.
She hustled off and Steph leaned forward and grabbed my hand.
“People who grow up like us, it’s branded in our minds that we don’t deserve love. That everything is conditional,” she said softly. “But one thing I’ve learned being with Christopher is that we deserve love most of all, because we never had our share. I found someone who makes me happy, even if he is a grumpy jerk sometimes, and you can have that too Katy. I want it for you.”
An hour and a half later, after a quick stop at my house to pick up some clothes and my glasses, I pulled into Andrew’s driveway. It was just after eight thirty, but since it was summer it was still light outside. As I approached the house I saw Goldie jump up onto the table by the front window, watching me curiously. The cat had warmed up to me over the last few months, enough that she let me pet her now and occasionally deigned to sit on my lap if Andrew wasn’t around. Baby steps.
I rang the bell, then knocked on the door, but no one answered. I guess we should have exchanged house keys. Andrew had suggested it once, but I’d felt uncomfortable about it, so he let the subject drop. I sat on the top step and pulled out my phone.
Katy: Where are you?
Andrew: At my mom’s house. Why?
Katy: I’m at your house.
After a short pause a group text came through.
Marianne: Katy, I didn’t know you were coming this weekend! Come over, I’ll feed you.
Katy: Thanks, that’s so sweet, but I already ate.
Marianne: Are Steph and Christopher with you?
Katy: No. I came alone.
Marianne: Come over for dessert then.
Andrew: Mom. I’m sure Katy is tired from the drive.
Marianne: You’ll take it to go then.
Andrew: I’ll be right there.
Ten minutes later Andrew pulled in. I followed him into the garage. As soon as he hopped out of the car he pulled me into a hug.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, sorry to drop by unannounced but… I missed you.”
He leaned down and pressed a quick kiss to my lips. “I missed you too. Let’s go inside.”
I followed Andrew into the house, and he led me to the kitchen, setting a Tupperware container on the table.
“Mom sent peanut butter chocolate chip cookies,” he said. “What do you want to drink?”
“Nothing caffeinated. I drank a huge coffee on the way here.”
Carmen had sent me with a thermos of extra strong coffee. I was going to be wired all night. And probably needing to use the bathroom.
“Water it is.”
Andrew brought two bottles of water to the table and we both sat down. He slid the cookies towards me, and I took one, taking a couple of bites while I decided what I wanted to say. I’d practiced it a hundred times in my head on the way up here, but all the words had disappeared from my head.
“Are you pregnant?” he finally asked.
I burst out laughing. “God no. I’m forty-five years old.”
“But you’re still able to get pregnant, right?”
After the first few weeks we were together we’d both gotten tested and stopped using condoms, relying on my IUD for birth control. I should have known then that something was different about this man.
“Theoretically, yes. But no, I’m not pregnant.”
He studied me for a few seconds while I worked up the courage to say what I’d come here to tell him.
“It seems like something heavy is on your mind. You look very serious.”
When I just stared at him, his face fell.
“Oh no. Are you here to break up with me?”
I loved that he seemed so devastated at the idea of me dumping him. It made what I had to say next easier. I took a deep breath and gave him a tremulous smile.
“I’m not breaking up with you,” I told him. “I came to tell you that I love you and I’m ready to make a commitment. I want us to figure out a way to be together. Permanently.”