Chapter 23 Kay’lo Mensah
Drahma Town
It was just me and Pressure chillin’ tonight, and the whole setup felt loud but quiet at the same damn time.
We was in a strip club tucked in the cut. Bitches slid down poles with oil on they thighs and glitter on they skin, and niggas all around us was damn near droolin’.
Me and Pressure was leaned back in our section with bottles, weed laid out on the table, and both our minds somewhere else.
Pressure was breakin’ down some loud, tappin’ the tray with his finger and rollin’. I had a short crystal glass in my hand, starin’ into the liquor like maybe it was gon’ help me fix the mess my wife and I was in.
“Toni still ain’t hit you?” Pressure asked without even lookin’ up.
“Nah,” I muttered, draggin’ my palm down my face ‘cause the shit was startin’ to weigh on me.
“And I’m tryna give her space, but it feel like the more space I give, the more she back up from me.
She don’t talk to me. She don’t text. She don’t do shit but make me feel like I’m sittin’ outside my own life. ”
Pressure lit the blunt slow, inhaled deep, and let the smoke move out of his mouth lazy. He passed it to me and spoke with that calm, dark voice he used when he was tryin’ not to let his own emotions show.
“You gon’ have to go to therapy, ‘Lo,” he said.
I choked out a short laugh ‘cause I wasn’t expectin’ him to say that shit. “Man, I did that shit already. I don’t wanna talk to no more strangers about my shit. I barely wanna talk to you, nigga.”
Pressure shrugged, still chill. “Yeah, I ain’t wanna talk to nobody either, but I had to.
Before me and Pluto got married, she kept runnin’.
Every time shit got too real, she dipped, and it had me losin’ my fuckin’ mind.
I loved her, but that wasn’t enough. She ain’t know how to deal with her own fears, and I ain’t know how to deal with mine. ”
He leaned back and took the blunt from me.
“You gotta work on yaself if you want ya marriage to hold,” he said. “Love can carry you into a home, but it can’t keep you in it if you ain’t tryna fix ya own shit.”
“I hear you,” I said, rubbin’ the back of my neck. “I just ain’t got the energy to talk to nobody. You the only nigga I can sit with right now without feelin’ like I’m gon’ snap.”
Pressure nodded slow. “I get it. You spiralin’, though. I can see that shit on you. You gotta grab hold somewhere.”
I ain’t answer ‘cause he wasn’t wrong.
Every day without Toni was weighin’ on me in a way I couldn’t even put into words. I kept tryna give her room, but the room was turnin’ into a canyon. It was like her silence kept pushin’ me further out into some shit I ain’t even know how to navigate.
We was sittin’ here, sippin’ and smokin’, lettin’ the beat from the speakers vibrate in our chest when my phone lit up on my lap. I ignored it at first, but after a minute I picked it up and saw the notification.
It was a DM from Echo.
My chest tightened a lil’, and I opened it.
You forgot about me already?
I stared at the message and didn’t respond. Instead, I clicked her profile and scrolled through the first ten pictures of the thousands she had. She was beautiful, thick, always done up and confident. She was the type of female most niggas would’ve been braggin’ about.
But in my heart, I knew she wasn’t enough.
And the guilt from even fuckin’ her and scrollin’ her page crept up my spine.
Pressure looked over at me. “Who that?”
I shrugged. “Nobody important.”
He gave me that look like he knew better.
“‘Lo…”
“I know,” I said. “I’m tryna stay away from her. She ain’t what I need right now. She damn sure ain’t gon’ fix nothin’ between me and Toni.”
Pressure nodded again. “Good. Last thing you need is addin’ fuel to a fire you already barely holdin’ together. And nigga, speakin’ from experience, these hoes don’t be on shit.”
I leaned back into the couch cushion, exhalin’ slow. The liquor settled warm in my chest but did nothin’ for the confusion. I ain’t respond to Echo. I locked my phone, put it face-down on the table, and forced myself to ride the vibe for the rest of the night.
After another drink or two, we dipped out.
Pressure hopped in his whip and I walked to mine alone, feelin’ the night close back in on me.
The cool air ain’t do shit for my head. I hadn’t been at Pressure’s lately ‘cause everything there reminded me too much of what I was goin’ through, so I drove back to the penthouse, but was in different suite this time.
I just needed somewhere quiet and where I could think.
When I stepped inside the room, the tall windows looked out over the island’s black water and the soft lights of the city. I shed my clothes, showered, and let the water hit my shoulders until they loosened a lil’. Then I dried off and laid in the bed with nothin’ but my phone beside me.
My thoughts went straight to Toni like they always did. I checked her location, the way I been doin’ every day, and relief moved through me when I saw she was at home. She hadn’t unshared it, and to me that meant somethin’.
I stared at the screen for a long moment before typin’.
Goodnight mama...
The message sat there, delivered but unread.
My chest pulled tight and felt empty all at once, but I put the phone down anyway and forced myself to let my head sink back into the pillow.
I told myself I was gon’ sleep this shit off.
But the bed felt too big, even for a big nigga like me, and the only thing in my mind was the woman I loved more than anything, somewhere in our home, livin’ like she wasn’t missin’ me at all.
‘LO MOTION CUSTOMS
Today, I was at my shop workin’ like normal, tryna keep my damn head on a swivel.
The speakers was loud enough for the whole damn block to hear and everybody at ‘Lo Motion Customs already knew what time it was. It was always music up, gloves on and mouths shut unless you had some important shit to say.
I had one of my guys helpin’ me peel back the old wrap on a GLE coupe while I heated the corner with the gun, pressin’ the material smooth over the fender. The job was real simple. You push, you smooth, stretch and fix what’s fucked up. Life was crazy everywhere else but here, shit fell in line.
The shop smelled like wrap film, motor oil, and Trillium comin’ straight off the blunt tucked behind my ear, and my boys was movin’ around me with their heads down, focused on their own projects.
One was mountin’ new Forgiatos on a Charger. Another was re-stitchin’ a leather interior in red and black. Shit ran smooth ‘cause I ran it smooth.
After a while I stepped outside for some air and sparked up a blunt, leanin’ against the side of the shop while I FaceTimed Pressure.
His camera popped up showin’ Prestyn runnin’ back and forth with a big ass smile on his face while Kaylon sat in his lap chewin’ on a bright blue cap he probably found under the couch.
“Bruh, look at this nigga,” Pressure said while tryna pull the cap from Kaylon’s mouth. “Why you always eatin’ shit? You not no fuckin’ dog.”
Kaylon instantly screamed, that loud pissed off baby cry that always made all the veins show in his forehead.
I shook my head and exhaled smoke. “Boy you better stop puttin’ shit in yo’ damn mouth,” I said, laughin’ ‘cause Pressure already looked irritated as hell tryna calm him down.
Prestyn waved at the screen and said my name wrong on purpose ‘cause he thought the shit was funny. I smirked and flicked ash to the ground while Pressure adjusted the phone.
“Where Pluto at?” I asked.
“Tryna get this boy some clothes. He done took his shirt off twice tryna match me and shit.”
I laughed again and looked out toward the street.
Pressure was sayin’ somethin’ else when a white Benz eased into the parkin’ lot.
I ain’t pay it much attention until the door opened and Echo stepped out like she was about to audition for somethin’.
Her hair was fresh as hell. I could tell she just got it done ‘cause she kept pushin’ it back smooth off her shoulders like she wanted the whole world to see it swing.
She had on some little ass shorts and tall heels and a top that didn’t do shit but show off the top of her titties and her stomach.
I could smell her perfume before she even closed the door.
I blinked once, slow.
Pressure caught my expression. “Nigga what you lookin’ at?”
“Bruh I’mma hit you back,” I said, droppin’ the call without explainin’.
Echo walked toward me with this lil’ nervous smile, like she was tryna figure me out while she strutted. Her heels clicked across the pavement and her eyes was locked on me like she was waitin’ on a reaction I wasn’t gon’ give.
“I really didn’t expect you to actually be here,” she said when she got close enough. “But I tried my luck.”
I took a pull off my blunt and just looked at her for a second. She was pretty and probably was used to havin’ her way, but somethin’ about her showin’ up at my job wasn’t sittin’ right with me. I ain’t say none of that though.
She shifted her weight and pushed her hair back again. “I’m not tryna be weird or anything, but I felt like we hit it off, so I just wanted to know what happened. Why you never called?”
“I been busy.”
She blinked like she ain’t like my answer “Yeah, but… men usually follow up when they know the vibe was good.“
“I just ain’t call,” I said, my voice relaxed. “And I told you why.”
Her smile dropped for half a second before she caught it, but I saw it clear as day.
She wasn’t used to no nigga flippin’ the script on her.
She nodded slow like she was tryna swallow whatever she really wanted to say, and her eyes slid over my face like she was searchin’ for somethin’ that could make the shit hurt less.
“So you just smashed and dipped? That’s what we doin’?” she asked with a lil’ shrug, tryna act unbothered.
I blew smoke out the side of my mouth and kept my eyes on her. “I ain’t say all that.“
She rolled her lips together, annoyed and confused at the same time, then looked away like she needed to regroup.