Chapter 29 Toni Roc
Trill-Land, ‘LoLux Estate
Me and Kay’Lo had just finished makin’ love, and he was still layin’ behind me on his side with his chest pressed against my back and his dick still buried deep inside me like neither one of us was in a rush to move.
His arm was wrapped around my waist while his other hand moved slow across my stomach, rubbin’ soft circles over the place where our baby girl was growin’, and every few seconds he leaned in and kissed the side of my neck like he couldn’t help himself.
“Mm,” he murmured against my skin, pressin’ another kiss right under my ear while his fingers slid over my waist again.
His hand spread gently across my stomach and a small part of me loved it so much it almost hurt.
Kay’Lo loved hard. Anybody that really knew him knew that. He loved his family hard, he loved his cousins hard, he loved Pressure’s kids like they was his own, and the way he already talked about our daughter made it clear my girl was gon’ have him wrapped around her finger.
I knew the kind of man he was, and I knew his heart better than anybody. But that didn’t stop my mind from wanderin’ to the one thing that had been eatin’ at me all damn week.
The whole situation with Echo’s stupid ass had been everywhere lately. It was on the blogs, it was on the news, it was on everybody’s phones and timelines, and every time I opened Instagram there she was again runnin’ her mouth like she had some kind of claim over my husband.
That bitch had been talkin’ crazy about the Mensah family like she had been around them her whole life.
She kept tryna paint this picture that Kay’Lo couldn’t let go of her, that he had been obsessed with her, and that whole story made my skin crawl ‘cause I knew it wasn’t true.
But the more she talked, the more people listened.
And the more people listened, the more our lives stayed on display for the whole damn world to judge.
Kay’Lo’s hand slid up my side again while his lips brushed across my neck, and I closed my eyes for a second ‘cause I was tryin’ so hard not to let my thoughts ruin this moment.
I loved this man more than I ever thought I could love anybody.
I had stuck beside him through everything ‘cause I knew who he was at his core.
He was a good nigga…
He loved me hard, and he had never played about me once he made up his mind that I was his. But that ain’t stop the pain from sittin’ in the back of my heart when I thought about the one thing he had done while we were separated.
It was the fact that he had slept with Echo.
Even though it had happened months ago and even though he wasn’t actively livin’ in the house when it happened, that shit still crept into my mind sometimes when I least expected it.
Kay’Lo knew how to fuck, and I knew that.
So sometimes when I thought about it, my mind went places I hated.
It made me wonder if he had touched her the way he touched me, or if lhe had talked in her ear the way he talked in mine.
I wondered if he had looked at her the way he looked at me when he was deep inside me and tellin’ me how much he loved me.
The thought alone made my chest tighten, and before I even realized what was happenin’ a tear slid down the side of my face.
I tried to keep it quiet ‘cause the last thing I wanted was for him to feel like he had to fix my emotions every time they got the best of me. But Kay’Lo knew my body too well.
The moment my shoulders trembled just a lil’, his hand stopped movin’.
For a second he ain’t say nothin’, and then his fingers slid up the side of my face and brushed across my cheek. When he felt the tears there, his whole body went still behind me. He ain’t have to ask what was wrong ‘cause he already knew.
Real slow, he pulled his dick outta me and rolled me over on my back so he could see my face. His body hovered over mine while he looked down at me, and the guilt in his eyes was so obvious it almost made me look away.
“Toni,” he said soft.
I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second ‘cause I was tryna calm myself.
Kay’Lo’s hand moved down to my stomach again while he kept lookin’ at me.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
I opened my eyes and looked up at him while he rubbed my stomach again.
“You can’t be stressin’ like this,” he said. “Not with my baby in there.”
That made somethin’ in my gut twist ‘cause even though I loved my baby with everything in me, I ain’t like the way everybody always brought the baby into every emotional moment like my feelin’s ain’t matter too.
“It ain’t just about the baby,” I replied while I looked at him. “I’m human too, Kay’Lo.”
His expression softened immediately.
“I know that. You think I don’t know that?”
His hand slid up to my face and he brushed his thumb across my cheek.
“I love you beyond that, Toni. You my wife before anything else.”
For a second I just stared at him. Then the question slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.
“Well why did you fuck her?”
The moment the words left my mouth Kay’Lo looked down and dropped his head for a second like the weight of that question hit him square in the chest.
For a few seconds he ain’t say nothin’, and the silence between us felt real heavy.
Finally, he lifted his head again and looked me in the eyes. “I wasn’t thinkin’.”
His voice sounded honest and tired, like he had replayed that mistake in his head more times than he could count.
“Toni,” he said, “I didn’t fuck Echo the same way I do you, if that’s what you wonderin’.”
He held my face in his hand, so I couldn’t look away from him.
“Toni, I make love to you every time I stick my dick in you.”
The way he said it made my throat tighten.
“I care about how you feel about this whole situation,” he continued, “but I’m also tryna keep my head strong right now so I don’t spiral. My life and my freedom on the line right now. I can’t afford to lose myself.”
His hand moved back down to my stomach.
“I know you need me,” he said. “And I know my baby need me too.”
He looked down at my belly for a second before meetin’ my eyes again.
“It ain’t that I’m puttin’ My’Love before your feelin’s, but I can’t lie and say I don’t think about her when all this shit goin’ on. I ain’t scared of a lot of things in this world, but I’m scared of two.”
He swallowed before he spoke again. “I’m scared of losin’ you… and I’m scared of not bein’ here for my daughter.”
My chest tightened when he said that, and tears filled my eyes again.
Kay’Lo leaned down and kissed me slow, his lips gentle against mine before he started kissin’ across my cheeks and the corners of my eyes, kissin’ away every tear that had slipped down my face.
“I love you,” he whispered. “If I could take that shit back I would.”
Somethin’ inside me finally softened, so I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and kissed him back, and the tension that had been sittin’ with me all week slowly started to melt.
Kay’Lo kissed down my chest after that, stoppin’ long enough to kiss both of my nipples before movin’ lower. When he reached my stomach, his whole energy shifted again.
His hands spread across my stomach while he leaned down and pressed soft kisses all over it, rubbin’ and kissin’ my body like our baby girl could already feel how much he loved her.
“My’Love,” he murmured against my skin.
He kissed my stomach again, then again, and the tenderness in the way he touched me made my eyes close.
After a minute he slid back up my body and pulled me against his chest.
I rested my head there while his fingers moved slowly through my hair, and he kissed the top of my head like he always did when he was tryna calm me down.
Kay’Lo held me like that for a long time while my breathin’ finally slowed and my mind stopped racin’.
Eventually the warmth of his body and the rhythm of his chest risin’ under my cheek pulled me into sleep, and the last thing I remember was his fingers still movin’ through my hair while he kept me wrapped up in his arms.
A few days had passed and I decided to do some retail therapy with Sha’Nelle.
My nerves had been so fuckin’ fried that I couldn’t even sit still in my own damn house no more, and being pregnant just made everything heavier ‘cause m I felt every emotion twice. Ever since that interview dropped, it felt like the whole world had flipped overnight. My phone had been buzzin’ nonstop with messages and tags and strangers feelin’ bold enough to speak on me and my husband like they knew him personally, and even though I tried to ignore that shit ‘cause I knew how stupid people could be, it still found its way into my spirit at night when the house got quiet.
The mall was crowded like always with people movin’ in packs with shoppin’ bags swingin’ off they wrists, music spillin’ out of storefronts, kids runnin’ around while parents tried to keep up, and for a minute it felt normal.
Sha’Nelle linked her arm through mine and pulled me into the first designer store she saw like she was on a mission to fix my mood with money.
“Today we spendin’,” she said, already eyein’ the display cases. “You not finna sit up in the damn house stressin’ no more.”
We walked inside the store and the smell of leather and perfume hit me at the same time.
The sales associate smiled like she recognized me but wasn’t sure from where, and Sha’Nelle wasted no time pullin’ bags down and throwin’ them over my shoulder like she was dressin’ me herself.
She hyped up every single one and told me I deserved it, and before I knew it I was standin’ in front of a mirror with a brown designer bag that felt soft as hell in my hands.
“Kay’Lo gon’ be talkin’ shit,” I said, lookin’ at the price.
Sha’Nelle snorted. “That nigga would buy this whole store if you blink twice. Stop playin’, bitch.”
I smiled ‘cause she wasn’t wrong.